Finding Abel (Rebel Hearts Book 1)

by Stephanie Hoffman McManus

  “Had to take a phone call.”

  We found a spot on an empty bench nearby and sat.

  “I was hoping we’d get the chance to chat for a minute,” Aunt Jax said, crossing her ankles and angling her body toward me.

  “Oh?” I shifted in my seat.

  “I just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay.”

  “Me?”

  She smiled softly, but concern pinched her brow. “Abel didn’t come home until after one this morning, and he was . . . not well when he did.”

  “Oh,” it seemed I’d lost my ability to form responses more than one syllable.

  She sighed, “He’s hurting right now. I’m not sure where his head is at with everything, and I’m not sure where he’s headed. I know your relationship is . . . complicated, but I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “Oh no, it’s not . . . I mean we’re just friends.”

  Her smile became a sad one. “It’s okay, Abbi. I know.”

  I swallowed. “You do?”

  She nodded. “For whatever reason you and Abel have chosen to keep your . . . friendship private.” She hesitated on the word friendship.

  I winced slightly, embarrassed. “How do you . . .”

  “One only had to watch the two of you closely together to see it.”

  I averted my gaze.

  “And I know my son. Whenever he’s home, he gets this look on his face . . . I don’t know, I guess you’d describe it as eager, or anxious. He disappears for a little while and when he comes back, he’s quiet. Either shuts himself in his room or his dad’s studio and writes for hours, or he just takes off and leaves without a word.”

  “It’s not . . .” I said roughly. “We’re not, I mean we did see each other occasionally when he was in town,” I admitted shamefully. “But it’s over now. It has been for a while, and it was never . . . it was just two people who used to share something trying to cope with the new directions our lives took. The pressure, the self-doubt, it would get to him sometimes, and I think it helped him to just escape to something familiar.” The excuse fell flat even to my ears.

  “Oh Abbi,” she took my hand, “please don’t think I’m judging either of you. You don’t owe me any explanations. This wasn’t my intention. I know what you mean to my son. I don’t know if you’ve listened to his music, sweetheart, but . . . well, it’s not my place to interfere.”

  I dragged my eyes to hers. Yeah, I listened to his music. I listened in secret agony.

  “I’m not the least bit surprised that he would turn to you when he needed someone, but I’m worried he’s doing that now, and that it could make things . . . complicated for you. I know you have a wonderful relationship with Jason, and I just . . . I don’t know,” she laughed dryly, “maybe I’m completely out of line here.”

  I ducked my eyes to my lap. “You’re not. He came to see me last night.”

  “I suspected as much. You don’t have to tell me anything, I know it must be awkward since I’m his mother, but you know you’ve always been like a daughter to me as well, and I’m here if you’d like to talk.”

  I looked up into her soft smile. “I— I’ve always considered you my second mom. I thought you would be. I wanted you to be.”

  “I know. I thought someday I would be too, and I wanted that very much.”

  “I do love Jason. He’s wonderful, and good to me. I can’t imagine what you must think.”

  “I think that the heart is a tricky thing.” That was an understatement.

  I laughed faintly. “Yeah. Tricky.”

  Neither one of us said anything for a moment until I breathed out heavily. “When he was home in June, he came to see me too. We hadn’t talked in a while, but he told me he was leaving the band. Said it was falling apart, that he wasn’t enjoying the music anymore. He told me he wanted out, and he said that . . . well it doesn’t really matter what he said,” or what we did, “because then he didn’t come back and instead got married.”

  “Oh, Abbi.” Understanding and sympathy were thick in her voice.

  “I know about the baby and everything. That’s why he came over last night. To explain. We didn’t . . . we’re not . . . not anymore. I just want to move on and leave the past in the past. Jason is my future.” Wasn’t he?

  “I understand,” she said, but I wondered if she even could. I didn’t think anyone could. Not really.

  Addie bounced up to us a moment later, cutting off the conversation entirely.

  “Don’t tell me you two are tired already?” She faced me, “We still have to find you a killer party outfit to knock the socks off Coachey Pants tomorrow.”

  “You’re coming to the party?” Aunt Jax didn’t hide her surprise.

  “Addie’s trying her best to convince me, but I’m not sure.”

  She nodded. “Well, of course you and Jason are welcome, but I know it’s last minute.” She was giving me an out, bless her.

  “Jason and I were planning on going to the cape.”

  “Oh, that will be nice. Not very many nice weekends left before it gets too cold to enjoy it.”

  “That’s what we were thinking.”

  “No,” Addie scowled. “Screw the cape. They can go next weekend. This weekend she needs to hang out with me. If you’re worried about feeding Jason to the sharks, then come out for drinks with us tonight. It’ll just be a few of the guys. Jesse, Nash, Abel, the twins. It’ll be like taking him in the shallow end before tossing him in the deep end.”

  “That’s supposed to convince me? Are you under some mistaken impression that I’m a sadist?” Nash, Jesse, Abel, the three of them were as close as brothers. Add in Abel’s cousins Zach and Josh. They’d all take their cues from Abel. He could turn them on Jason just like that.

  “Come on, you can’t leave me to be the only girl besides whatever floozies the guys find. You don’t have to worry about Jason, they’ll play nice. I’ll tell them to be on their best behavior.”

  I snorted, as if they’d listen to her. “Why not let the guys go out, and you come over and we bust out a bottle of wine? You can regale me with more of your world travels and sexu-u-u-h, your um, escapades,” I tried to recover, glancing at her mom, standing right there.

  “Nice.” Addie smacked me on the arm.

  “Ow.”

  “Why don’t you girls go ahead and finish your shopping. I’m going to take a break. I’ll be in there when you’re done.” Aunt Jax indicated the coffee shop across the street and then said to me, “Good luck with her.” She left me to argue with her stubborn daughter, who linked her arm through mine and dragged me along.

  “I would come over for girls’ night, but I lost a bet with Jesse and I have to DD for the guys.”

  “Tell them to use a ride app. You can’t even fit them all in your car anyway.”

  “They can squeeze into Dad’s Escalade, but that’s not the point. I lost, and I have to go and now I’m saying you do too.”

  “You really want to spend your evening chauffeuring the guys? What kind of bet did you lose to Jesse anyway?”

  “It was stupid.” Was there any other kind of bet? “When we stopped for coffee on our way out of the city this morning, I bet him he couldn’t get the barista to give him his number without asking for it outright. He was making eyeballs at her and it was pathetic. Of course, it turned out I had too much confidence in our gender. All he had to do was turn on that Slater charm. A smile and a few husky words and she pretty much drooled in his coffee while she made it. Aaaand, she wrote her number on his cup,” she scoffed, sounding both disgusted and annoyed.

  The bigger shock than Jesse getting some random barista’s number, which wasn’t a shock at all—she never should have made that bet—was, “You rode all the way from the city with Jesse? And nobody died?” Since we were kids Jesse and Addie fought more than even Abel and Addie did, or Jesse and his own little sister Audrey. People often thought, he was her big brother, a fact that infuriated Addie as she loved to remind everyone she
was a few months older than Jesse.

  He was a mini version of Uncle Spade. Jesse and Nash were both carbon copies of their dad. Hellions the lot of them. My poor Aunt Claire.

  “There’s still a chance for me to kill him on the ride home Monday morning. I don’t know what made me think carpooling was a good idea. He insists on driving, listens to the worst music, and drives like the freeway is a NASCAR track.”

  “You’re not going to get sympathy from me. You’re the one that got into a car with a professional adrenaline junkie.”

  “Can you believe he suggested I come on an episode of his show? As if I’d go cliff jumping, or skydiving, or swimming with sharks, or bungee jump out of a hot air balloon with him.” Jesse did all those things and more, and got paid to do them alongside the celebrities he took along for the ride.

  I laughed. Extreme sports and crazy stunts were definitely not Addie’s thing. “Just don’t lose any more bets to him or you may just find yourself on his show after all.”

  “Right,” she snorted. “No friggin way.”

  She pulled me into a little boutique and we finished our shopping. Eventually she beat me down enough that I agreed to mention drinks and the party to Jason and let him decide. I had a sinking feeling I already knew what his response would be.

  Eight

  Abbi

  “Are you sure?” I batted my eyes like a temptress and grabbed his hands. “We don’t have to go. We can stay in tonight. You can just meet everyone tomorrow.” Because Jason had insisted that we go to the party as well. The silly moron was excited to meet the rest of my family.

  “Come on, you know I watch Jesse Slater’s show religiously, and his brother is a legend. I saw Nash’s UFC debut match three years ago. You’re telling me I have the opportunity to drink a few beers with these guys, how can I turn that down? Even if your ex-boyfriend, the son of a music god, who happens to be the lead singer of my favorite band, is going to be there. It’ll be fine. I don’t know what you’re so worried about.”

  Only everything.

  Abel and Jason in the same room. Me and Abel in the same room.

  I let out a frustrated sigh, “I know they’re huge celebrities to you, but they’re not that great, trust me. They can be dicks.” Lovable dicks, but still dicks.

  “Abbi, pleeeeeease, let me have this?”

  Ugh, he was kind of adorable when he begged, in a pathetic way. “Fine, we’ll go for a little while.”

  “Thanks babe. I’m going to take a fast shower and change.” He pressed a quick kiss to my cheek and then disappeared into the bathroom. I shuffled into his living room and plopped down on the couch in front of the TV.

  Surprise, surprise, an old episode of Keeping Up With Slater was on. I’d seen this one already. Jesse and two of the Avengers got to play around on a race track with professional racecar drivers. Abel had been on an episode once. The two of them went hang gliding somewhere in South America. Jesse doing crazy shit was one thing. I was used to it, but my heart had been in my throat watching Abel go along with him.

  I understood why Aunt Claire didn’t watch at all. Her son was certifiable.

  When the first episode ended, another came on and I didn’t bother changing the channel. Jesse and Nash went swimming with sharks sans cage somewhere in the Pacific, but I was only half paying attention. I had other things pressing on my mind.

  You can’t let Jason go tonight without telling him everything.

  Excuse after excuse flitted through my head, and I was lost in a mental argument with myself.

  A wet towel smacked me in the face out of nowhere, startling me.

  “Shit sorry, you were supposed to catch it.”

  I swiped the towel away and glanced across the room at Jason, fresh from the shower in his favorite shirt and his going out jeans, a sheepish look on his face.

  I tossed the towel aside and stood from the couch. “You look good.” I sauntered over to him, ruffling my hands through his freshly styled hair, making it stick up a little. “But that’s better.”

  “Oh yeah?” he chuckled, linking his hands behind my lower back.

  “Mmm, it gives you that bad boy edge,” I teased and leaned up on my tip toes to place a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “You smell nice, too.”

  “You always smell nice.” He pulled me in tighter and turned my chaste kiss into a much steamier one.

  I dragged him over to the couch, hoping I might be able to waylay him a while, or convince him to skip going out altogether. I pulled him down on top of me and his hand shoved up my shirt, caressing my stomach and rib cage. His tongue tangled with mine and he pressed me into the cushions of the sofa. I wound my hands behind his neck, fingering the hair at his nape. Our mouths broke apart and he grinned. “You’re trying to distract me.”

  “Would it be so bad if we stayed here?” I leaned up and pressed my mouth to his again. His lips opened against mine and I shoved my tongue inside. He kissed me back, briefly, before tearing away again and laughing.

  “Hold that thought until later.” He pushed himself up and stood, sticking his hand out to me. “Come on.”

  I sighed at my failed seduction attempt and slapped my hand in his, allowing him to pull me up.

  “You should spend the night.”

  I brushed past him, smiling coyly over my shoulder. “You had your chance to take advantage of me, and you passed.”

  He snagged me around the waist. “What if I throw in breakfast in the morning? Waffles? With strawberries? What do you say to that?”

  I spun around. “I say now I’m hungry.”

  He laughed, “Let’s go. You can order all the food you want.”

  I smacked his chest. “You better believe I will.”

  Saturday night was in full swing when we reached the theater district. Finding parking anywhere near the club proved impossible. I hugged my jacket tight around me as we trekked the six blocks to the club, a feat in my spike heeled ankle boots. Fall was definitely shoving summer out of the way. Jason wrapped his arm around my shoulder and tucked me into his side. I soaked up his body heat and then frowned in dismay when we reached the front of the club.

  An unusually long line stretched out the door and around the corner, made up primarily of scantily clad girls. Abel, Jesse, and Nash were no doubt to blame. On their own, females flocked to them like the pied piper. Together, they could raze the city with a riot of sex crazed women.

  “Are we supposed to get in line?” Jason asked.

  I shook my head and grabbed his hand, dragging him toward the bouncer at the door. The big, bald, and handsome man turned his hardened gaze to us. He looked me up and down appreciatively and then glanced at Jason. “Sorry, back of the line guys.”

  “Our friends are inside. We’re with Addie and Abel McCabe.”

  He snorted, “You and every other set of tits, doll. Like I said, back of the line.”

  Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have expected that to work, but seriously? Assface.

  Jason started to say something, but still clutching his hand, I pulled him a few feet away. “Give me a second.” I slid my phone out of my jacket pocket and brought up Addie’s number.

  She answered almost immediately, shouting over the music. “Where are you?”

  “Outside. It’s a madhouse. The entire city is trying to get in, they won’t let us through the line.”

  “I’ll be right there.”

  In under a minute, Addie came strutting out of the club in her designer dress and heels, eyes scanning the sidewalk until they landed on us. She waved us over and then marched right up to the same bouncer that had denied us entrance and laid her hand on his chest. “They’re with me.”

  “Sure thing, babe.” He was putty in her hands. With a wink, she withdrew her hand and flounced back inside. I tugged Jason after her into the loud, dark, and packed club. She led us away from the throng of bodies crowding the bar and dancefloor and ascended a staircase to the right, unhindered by security.

  Jaso
n was about to get his first VIP experience. The top of the stairs opened up into an exclusive upper level, divided into semi private rooms that looked out over the club below. Addie beelined straight for one of them. How she didn’t break her neck strutting so quickly in her skyscraper heels was a miracle or witchcraft. Or lots and lots of practice on a runway.

  “Abbi!” Nash was the first to spot us and he unceremoniously dumped the blonde from his lap as he stood and stalked toward us. He lifted me off my feet into a bear hug.

  “Woah,” I laughed, returning the warm embrace. He wore a big dopey grin, his cheeks flushed and his hazel eyes bright. He smelled of whiskey and something fresh and clean and a bit spicy. “I see someone got the party started.”

  He gave me a gentle squeeze before setting me down with a wink. “Couldn’t wait for you to do it.” At six-three, and a hundred and ninety pounds according to his fight stats, he was a big, muscly, tatted up bear, capable of intimidating the biggest and meanest of ‘em. But truth was, he was more like a playful, trouble-making puppy than a bear. As long as you didn’t get on his bad side. He sized up Jason beside me with a look of scrutiny. “This must be your coach.”

  “Nash, this is Jason. Jason, Nash.”

  “Huge fan, man. Last month when you knocked out Daniel Hallaway in the second round, that was incredible. Best fight I’ve seen in a long time.” Jason was having a hard time holding back his fanboy already.

  Nash gave him the guy nod and shook his hand. “Get Abbs here to bring you to the next fight. If you’re still around.” It was clear from his tone, he had his doubts.

  I shot him a scowl, which he ignored.

  “Don’t be a dick, Nash.” Addie stepped forward and gave him a shove, steering him away from the two of us. He slapped her hand away with a smirk.

  “I wasn’t.” He glanced back at us, still smirking. “If I didn’t like the guy, he’d know it.”

  “Whatever, you were being a dick and you know it.”