All Access (Chasing Cross Book One) (A Brothers of Rock Novel)

by Karolyn James

  **

  Johnnie stormed through the cabin, his body feeling more alive than it had in years. In the living room, he paused and bent over, placing his hands to his knees, catching his breath. The room spun and it had nothing to do with the wine. Hell, he could drink a full bottle of wine on his own and feel fine.

  This was because of Jess.

  She somehow got to the core of him. She said things nobody else would say. She was honest in a way that most wouldn’t dare try. Worst of all, she was right.

  It was his choice with everything in his life.

  Just don’t cheat yourself.

  She was like a poet. Words fell from her mouth in such a beautiful fashion.

  “Just don’t cheat yourself,” Johnnie whispered.

  He stood back up and decided he wouldn’t cheat himself. At least not tonight.

  He hurried to the computer and turned on the song, putting it on a constant repeat. It sounded even better turned way up. Next he rushed to the bedroom and in the closet found two heavy blankets. On his final stop through the kitchen, he grabbed the half empty bottle of wine but left the glasses in the kitchen.

  It was a drink from the bottle kind of night.

  (18)

  Jess stepped to the side and watched as Johnnie made a small bed for them on the deck. He handed her the bottle of wine and reminded her of the first rule. Jess tilted the bottle towards Johnnie in a salute and then placed the bottle to her lips. She took a small sip, one that Johnnie would have disapproved of, but he didn’t say anything.

  The song blared in the house but came out of the house at just the right volume.

  “Why the song?” Jess asked.

  Johnnie stepped to her and took the wine bottle from her hand. He took a drink that made Jess’s mouth fall open.

  “I need the song on,” Johnnie said. “Because I want to make love to you. Right here. Right now.”

  Johnnie reached beyond Jess and placed the wine bottle on the small table on the deck and then set his sights on her.

  Jess had never done anything this wild in her life. Ever. The first thing she did was look around, her mind expecting to find some kind of lights from another house or a car... or something.

  There were none.

  This was like being on top of the world. Lost in a special place. The backdrop being the tipped silhouettes of the mountains against the star filled sky. The moon offered little light and the only other light came from the kitchen windows.

  Johnnie had one hand on Jess’s backside and the other touching her chest. Her pulled her close and kissed her chin. Jess sighed and let her head fall back. She kept her eyes open, seeing the stars as she felt Johnnie kiss her neck. From her neck, she felt Johnnie nuzzle the top of her shirt. She giggled but then felt Johnnie’s nose as it rubbed down her shirt. She looked down with a gasp just in time to see that Johnnie had moved to his knees. Before she muttered a sound, his hands were at her pants.

  This was dangerously erotic... but as Johnnie’s soft lips kissed just below her belly button as Jess stepped from her pants and panties, she caught a sense of romance too.

  This was bad, very bad, but very good.

  Jess wasn’t sure how far Johnnie would go but his tongue made it evidently clear. He enjoyed her body, leaving Jess trying to balance herself, reaching back to the table for support, missing it, and finally just bending her knees slightly. Johnnie’s hands touched the back of her legs, coaxing her into relaxing.

  There was no relaxing, not with Johnnie in his current position.

  After bringing Jess to a quick but effective climax, he retreated up her body, kissing her slowly using just his lips. Kiss after sensual kiss, Johnnie’s hands stayed ahead, lifting Jess’s shirt. A minute later, Jess stood naked on the deck. She shivered and felt her body reacting to the cold.

  “Come here,” Johnnie said as he tried to hug her.

  “No way,” Jess said. “You’re dressed...”

  “Are you making a rule?” Johnnie asked.

  “Yes. I am. Next rule... when one of is naked, the other has to get naked too.”

  “That’s a good rule.”

  “I think it’s the best one,” Jess said.

  Johnnie put his hands up and stepped back a step. Trying to play it cool even though she shook with anticipation and fear, Jess found the bottle of wine. This time she took a real drink, seeking warmth and a way to calm herself.

  She handed the bottle to Johnnie who now stood in nothing but his boxers. He drank like before and then finished stripping himself. When he stepped forward again, Jess had her hand ready, accepting him, his hardness and length.

  Johnnie didn’t let it bother him as he pulled Jess tight to his body. He lifted her off the ground, stepped back three steps, and then lowered himself, along with Jess, down to the thick blanket on the deck.

  On her back, Jess looked at the stars, then at Johnnie. He found the other blanket and pulled it up over his back and shoulders. Between the blankets and their lust filled desires, there was more than enough heat.

  Johnnie kissed Jess, and she fought back with her tongue. Their heads moved side to side, and their grunts and groans filtered around them. Johnnie kept his sex close to Jess but not touching, yet.

  It wasn’t until Jess thrust at him did anything actually happen.

  The surge of need became too much for Jess to bear. Her nerves were on fire, her heart pounding, her body desperate. When she thrust, she felt Johnnie, right there, right between her legs.

  “Tell me,” Johnnie whispered, finally breaking the hot kiss.

  Jess moaned and thrust again.

  “No, no. I want you to tell me.”

  “Johnnie... please...”

  Jess slid her hands down his muscular sides, but did not stop until she had handfuls of his backside. She pushed, mentally thinking it would be so easy to get Johnnie to enter her.

  It wasn’t.

  He resisted, and held his stance.

  “I want to hear you say it.”

  “Say what?” Jess asked.

  “What you want.”

  “I want you, I told you that. I want you...”

  “More,” Johnnie growled.

  He kissed her neck, then allowed his teeth to run along her skin to her ear.

  Jess let out a long breath and an Oohhh before trying to lift her body at him again. When it failed, she groaned in frustration.

  “I want you in me!” she cried out. “Please, Johnnie...”

  Johnnie looked at Jess and smiled. “That’s all I wanted to hear.”

  Johnnie lowered his body, penetrating Jess with climatic pleasure. This time, unlike in the bedroom, he wasted not a second, bringing the sex to a speed and intensity that forced Jess to bite on her lip in a desperate attempt to keep her mouth shut. She was afraid to let out a satisfying moan or sound too late, still thinking someone would hear it.

  “Oh, Jess. Your body...”

  Jess whimpered. She closed her eyes, trying to fight it off. But Johnnie was too intense. He moved perfectly, fast enough for please and fast enough that her body wanted more.

  Johnnie’s song still played in the background, the song on an obvious repeat cycle.

  As he made love to Jess, she tried to focus on it all. Johnnie’s body. Johnnie’s movements. The way it felt. The way her entire body came together in a way she never thought possible in her entire life. The song playing. The words. The music. The millions of stars overhead.

  The pleasure.

  Oh, the pleasure.

  The sex continued and as Jess sweat, her body began to shiver. The cool air mixed with the moisture on her skin. Her teeth chattered and Johnnie took notice.

  He didn’t speak a word, he just knew what to do and how to do it.

  Johnnie put one hand to the back of Jess’s neck. The other wiggled its way to her back. Slowly, he lifted Jess, standing himself. He he
ld her tight to his body. Jess’s hair bounced around and gently, Johnnie carried her into the house.

  As Johnnie walked, Jess felt him touching her. The constant movement and subtle touch brought Jess to an explosive climax. She held onto Johnnie’s shoulders and stared down at him, knowing it would be the only way she’d ever look down at him.

  She shuddered as she came, moaning, blinking, but never leaving sight of Johnnie’s eyes.

  “Sorry,” she whispered.

  “Never,” Johnnie said. He kicked the bedroom door open and carried Jess to the bed. “It’s better in here. That way we don’t have to move after we’re done.”

  “Is that song going to play all night?” Jess asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Now, Johnnie, finish making love to me.”

  (19)

  When morning came, Johnnie opened his eyes and gazed to the empty leather couch at the end of the room. The missing blanket made him smile, knowing the blanket was out on the deck, where he and Jess had started the night before. He took a deep breath and as he started to roll to his back he realized the song wasn’t playing anymore. He had set it to repeat which should have allowed it to play all night into the morning until someone turned it off.

  Someone...

  Johnnie rolled to his right and found the bed empty.

  Jess was gone.

  Johnnie popped up and the night before and this morning collided at once, right at the center of his head. It felt like the claw of hammer smacked him in the forehead. He closed his eyes and cursed the pain, knowing damn well what wine did to him. When he opened his eyes again, he felt a little better, minus his heart hitting so hard it felt as though it were trying to punch its way out of his chest.

  Where was Jess?

  Was it all too much?

  Did he say something to her?

  “Oh no,” Johnnie whispered.

  He threw the covers off his body, finding himself naked. He didn’t care as he moved from the bed. He thought about the night before. Every memory, every detail came back to him without flaw. Even right down to the way Jess looked at him as they came together. His fingertips tingled thinking about the way her hips had the perfect curve to them, meant for touching, holding, loving.

  Loving.

  Is that what he said?

  No, Johnnie didn’t believe it. He’d remember telling Jess if he loved her. Simple as that. Something that important... something with so much meaning...

  Johnnie then heard the sound of rushing water. His instincts took him to the window even though he knew the sound of rain wouldn’t be anything like what he heard. Outside, another day had come. A clear blue sky, the mountains still in place, their silent structures still breathtaking.

  If it wasn’t rain making the sound...

  Just as Johnnie turned and saw the door to his private bathroom slightly cracked, he heard a voice. Not just any voice, but a voice singing. A voice singing his song. In a matter of taking four steps, Johnnie stopped. His heart calmed, knowing Jess was safe and still there in the cabin, but it barely had a second to recover before it started to race again.

  Jess was in the shower, singing his song.

  She listened to it so much the day before, she had it memorized. Better yet, it sounded beautiful. Johnnie couldn’t believe that Jess could sing like that.

  He had a hundred thoughts at once, but first, he grabbed a towel off the back of his door and wrapped it around his waist. Then he hurried into the living room and found a small two track pocket recorder. He had about ten recorders sitting around the cabin. They were all needed for when one of those random guitars riffs came to him, or a set of lyrics. He would hurry and record it, then come back to it later.

  He pressed the button and the small screen lit up. The batteries still had life.

  When he went back into his bedroom, he snuck into the bathroom and stood there, holding the recorder in the doorway, but not so much that Jess would catch him. He hit the red record button and listened.

  She was perfect.

  That’s what the song needed.

  The second Johnnie recorded the song by himself and listened to it, he felt good about it, but a little empty. Something had been missing on the track and this was it.

  It was Jess.

  Her voice.

  A woman’s voice.

  She had a innocent tone to her voice. It had a shy pullback, but the power and command of her ability pushed forward. She hit the notes the same as Johnnie did on the song. During the chorus, she went up a little higher and Johnnie could only imagine how perfect it would sound recorded together. He thought about singing too but held back, wanting to record as much as he could of Jess singing.

  When she stopped, Johnnie didn’t stop the recording. He just froze in place, imagining what the next verse would sound like. In his mind it sounded great, but he knew, in reality, it would sound beautiful and perfect.

  Johnnie crept away from the door and threw the recorder to the bed. He then purposely slammed the bedroom door, making sure it was loud enough that Jess heard it over the water. He walked to the bathroom door and pushed it open, watching as steam rose up and over the glass door. His eyes could give a damn about the steam, all he could focus on was the blurry figure of Jess’s body as she showered.

  “Hey, Jess?” he called out.

  “Thought I heard you,” Jess said. She slid the door open enough to look out.

  Her hair dripped and the water droplets on her face didn’t just make her more beautiful, they made her more enticing. The water teased Johnnie, running everywhere, touching places he wanted to touch.

  “You scared me,” Johnnie said. “Woke up and the bed was empty.”

  “Aw, did you miss me?”

  Johnnie smiled as his mind screamed YES! “No, just was hoping you didn’t skip out on me. Wasn’t sure if I said or did something stupid last night.”

  “Wait, was Mr. Rockstar too drunk to remember last night?”

  Johnnie pulled at his towel, dropping it. He walked through the bathroom watching as Jess’s eyes picked something to stare at.

  “I think I remember all I need to about last night.”

  Jess looked up into Johnnie’s eyes. “You didn’t do anything last night I didn’t want...”

  “I know that,” Johnnie said.

  He was a few steps from the shower.

  “I know that too.”

  He grabbed the shower door handle and slid the door open. Jess stood with the water hitting her shoulders and down her nude body. Johnnie thought he could be the tough guy and just attack her, but he couldn’t. For the first time in his life, he hesitated with a woman. Not out of fear, but out of pure, unfiltered love. With a touch of lust. She stood with a sense of confidence that she didn’t have the day before. Her hands were at her hips, calling to Johnnie without saying a word. The water made her skin look extra silky. Her nipples were extra pink, delicate and tender, forcing Johnnie’s body to react.

  Now he had to step into the shower. He needed Jess.

  He came at her and they embraced as the water poured on them.

  “Last night was amazing,” Jess whispered as Johnnie’s nose touched her.

  “Yeah? Just wait to see what the rest of our life is like...”

  (20)

  When Johnnie left the shower, Jess closed the door and fell back against the tile. It was cold to her back, but it didn’t matter. Her body never felt so good before. So warm. So satisfied.

  Johnnie’s touch was everything to her, and not just the ones that went to her most sensitive areas. It was the way his hands traveled along her body, following her gentle curves, wanting to feel everything. He didn’t just go for her chest or between her legs... he wanted all of her.

  As she took heavy breaths and convinced herself it was okay to mentally freak out, she came to terms that with Johnnie, she felt safe, she felt alive, and she felt
in love. Thinking about love and a rockstar felt so foreign, like something she should have been writing about, but she couldn’t argue with her heart. Or her body.

  After rinsing, Jess left the shower to find the bedroom empty. Part of her hoped that Johnnie would have been in bed, naked, waiting for her. Her appetite for lust had never been this great. Maybe that’s because she never had a man like Johnnie - the right man.

  She dressed and went to find Johnnie. A second spent away from him right now felt like a second wasted and a second too long.

  He was in the living room, standing at the fireplace. He had one hand gripping the mantle as he stared down at nothing. It was too warm for a fire.

  “Johnnie?”

  Johnnie looked over his shoulder, half smiling. “There she is. How was your shower?”

  “The best I’ve ever had.”

  “The water pressure in this cabin is wonderful, isn’t it?” Johnnie winked.

  “What are we doing today?”

  “You’re not going to like my answer to that,” Johnnie said. He turned and Jess saw papers in his left hand. “I had to call for a ride out of here. We have to go back to the city.”

  “Why?”

  “Business matters,” Johnnie said. “I’ve been toying with a decision for a little while now and Peter called me about the charity show. They want to do a photo shoot and he scheduled it for today thinking I would want to get all of this out of the way quickly so I could enjoy my time off before the tour kicks back into gear.”

  “I hate managers,” Jess said. She thought about her agent, who still hadn’t called her with some kind of news. “Add agents to that too.”

  “No, it’s fine. I can’t get cooped up here too long,” Johnnie said. “I’ll want to stay. I’ll demand to stay. And with you... Jess... I would live here and die.”

  Jess smiled. She opened her mouth to speak but Johnnie threw the papers down at the table.

  “What’s that?”

  “Contract,” Johnnie said. “The contract Peter wants me to sign. To launch myself as a solo artist.”

  “So you’ve decided?” Jess asked.

  “I think so.”

  “I support you,” Jess said. “Whether it matters or not. Just know I support you. And the rest of the band will too. It’s not like you’re leaving.... or stealing music... or...”

  “I go if you go,” Johnnie said.

  Jess froze. She looked into Johnnie’s eyes. They were like staring at two glass marbles. He was serious, but Jess didn’t understand what he meant.

  “Go where?” Jess asked.

  “The contract,” Johnnie said and pointed. “I’m adding you to it.”

  “To the contract? For what?”

  Johnnie moved from the table and went to his recording area. Jess watched as he picked up a small device and brought it back to her. He handed it to her and told her to hit the play button.

  The second she heard her own voice, singing.

  “What the... what did you do?”

  “Jess, your voice is beautiful.”

  “You recorded me singing? In the shower?”

  “I woke to it,” Johnnie said. He touched the play button and stared at Jess. “This is what the song needs.”

  “A female voice...”

  “Your voice,” Johnnie insisted.

  “I’m an author, not a singer.”

  “And I wanted to be a poet until I found music and realized I could do both in my own way.”

  “I can’t,” Jess said. “I was... just messing around.”

  “You can do anything you want,” Johnnie said.

  “Like say no to this,” Jess replied.

  “You go I go. That’s my offer.”

  “Offer? For what?”

  “Jess, we can do this together. Split everything. The name alone is worth...”

  “Are you bribing me?”

  “No. No. Not at all. I’m just offering something. Something new. Different. Wild...”

  “Wild is what we did outside. Wild is what we did in the shower. This... this is you unable to make a decision on your own. So you’re dragging me into it.”

  The recording ended and so did the conversation.

  Jess took a step back and handed the recorder back to Johnnie. His face hadn’t changed a bit. He simply pressed a couple buttons on the recorder and played it again. Jess listened to her voice and shook her head.

  She refused to believe it was good.

  She refused to believe it was right.

  “I won’t give up,” Johnnie said. “That’s not what I do.”

  “Then take the song to your band,” Jess said.

  “It’s not my band. I’ve told you that.”

  “Just take the song to them. Or find another woman to sing. I’m not a singer. I’m a writ...”

  Jess’s cell phone started to ring. She heard it in the bedroom and turned, literally running to take the phone call.

  It was the call she’d been waiting for. Her agent spoke fast and with a sense of ease in her voice. The publisher had come through, wanting more of Jess. Because the sales of her first book were solid enough, there was now going to be a push for the second book. Starting with a signing in New York City in a week. Not just one signing but an entire weekend of signings. The publisher already had a book trailer, promotional efforts ready to be launched that very Monday. Everything was going to happen fast. Not to mention her debut novel would be sent into another round of printing.

  A dream come true.

  The dream come true.

  Jess barely managed to get a word in other than a few sounds and a few thanks. Her agent ended the call telling Jess to check her email for her plane ticket. It would be there in the next couple days and then she needed to get ready. Her agent also made the subtle hint that if the publisher could see a good chunk of another manuscript, that would be amazing.

  The call ended and Jess stood with the cell phone to her ear. Things always seemed to happen like this for her. Fifteen things happen at once. And now this time she had to balance her feelings for Johnnie.

  She turned to face Johnnie and found herself literally facing Johnnie. He stood in the doorframe to the bedroom, hands in his pockets.

  “That was my call,” Jess said.

  “From your agent?”

  Jess nodded.

  “And...?”

  “It’s everything I could hope for. Publisher wants more from me. They’re promoting my next book. I have to go to New York for book signings...”

  “That’s amazing,” Johnnie said. “You deserve it all.”

  “Look... about your song...”

  “Leave it be,” Johnnie said. “Just leave it be.”

  Jess now saw the real Johnnie showing through his eyes. The stone wall had been taken down. Her heart ached for him, knowing it pained him to back down.

  But what could Jess do?

  She wasn’t a singer, she was an author. And a busy author at that.

  “Just do me a favor,” Johnnie said. “I want you to take this...” Johnnie pulled the folded contract from his pocket. “I want you to just read it. Think about it. Keep it the hell away from me, okay?”

  “Why?”

  “It’s like poison right now. My band is... everything. They’re my brothers. Each and every one of them. But my writing, my music...”

  “It’s another love,” Jess said.

  Johnnie nodded. He swallowed and blinked. Jess never saw such a set of honest eyes in her life. She never saw a man go through emotions so fast either. Reluctantly, she took the contract from Johnnie’s hand and squeezed it in hers.

  “Thank you,” Johnnie whispered. “And congrats.”

  Jess nodded, feeling her eyes starting to glaze over. She looked down and walked out of the bedroom, seeking the deck and some fresh air.

  Her heart admitted what she already knew.

&nb
sp; She was in love with Johnnie.

  Johnnie from Chasing Cross.

  The band that would go back on tour in a month. The band that would travel and play shows.

  And Jess had to be in New York. And Jess had to prepare another manuscript.

  A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked out at the mountains.

  Being with Johnnie was a dream, but the thing about dreams was that they end. One way or another, they always come to an end.