Single Wide Female in Love Complete Bundle: Books 1-4

by Blake, Lillianna

  After clicking the e-mail open, I immediately regretted it.

  Samantha,

  I’ll do anything.

  You name it. I’ll do it. Please.

  I know that I failed you again. I can’t even explain why. There are no excuses for what I did. I feel awful about it, but that doesn’t even matter. What matters is that I hurt you when I promised that I never would. I can’t begin to apologize. I know that I don’t even deserve the opportunity.

  I can’t just say goodbye, Samantha. I need to see you. When we meet, you’ll understand. At least, I hope you will. That can only happen if you give me just one more chance. I know I’m out of chances, but I also know how kind and forgiving you are. I’m asking for you to have mercy on me, because if I have to spend the rest of my life never having told you the truth, it will be pure torture. I know that’s selfish of me, but I think you need this too. I know you care for me the way I care for you. I know that you feel this connection between us.

  Please, give me one more chance.

  Blue

  The impact of the e-mail was not what I expected. I thought I might be angry, or even sad. Instead, I felt relief. Relief that Blue still cared. I knew I shouldn’t be swayed so easily, but it warmed my heart to think that he hadn’t given up on me—that he wouldn’t.

  That, however, did not mean that I was willing to forgive him. My fingers ached to type a message back, but I refused to do it.

  I wanted to take some time to think things through. I wanted to go on my dates and discover how I felt around other men. Blue had made me wait; now I was going to do the same to him.

  To distract myself from thinking about Blue, I started chatting back and forth with Spence, whom I had a date with the next day. He was very responsive.

  Can we talk on the phone?

  I wasn’t sure how to answer that. I figured it couldn’t hurt to give him my number if we planned on meeting the next day. I sent him the number in response.

  A minute later my phone began to ring. My heart jumped but I didn’t have time to be nervous.

  “Hello?”

  “Samantha?”

  “Yes, is this Spence?”

  “Yes. Wow, what a beautiful voice.”

  “Oh, thanks.” I felt my face getting warm.

  We weren’t even in the same room and he was already getting under my skin. I’d never thought about how my voice sounded.

  “About tomorrow—I had some ideas. What do you think about food carts?”

  “Uh—some of the food can be great.”

  “So you wouldn’t care if we ate at one?”

  “As long as it’s one you’ve been to before.” I cringed at the idea of eating at some side-of-the-road roach coach. The food carts I’d eaten at in the past were all highly recommended.

  “It’s my favorite place.”

  “Okay, I’m up for trying it.” I smiled. The last thing I wanted to be was picky. Sure, it wasn’t what I’d expected, but that didn’t mean that it couldn’t be great.

  “You don’t care that it’s not a sit-down place?”

  “Not at all. If that’s what you like, let’s give it a shot.”

  It was an unusual way to have a first date but I was determined to be as open to new ideas as I could be. Spence sounded like a passionate person and he sparked my curiosity. It was nice that he wanted to share one of his favorite places with me.

  “Great. It’s also right next to a stone sculpture museum that I think you will enjoy. So around eleven?”

  “Perfect.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.”

  “Me too.”

  I hung up the phone. A glimmer of excitement caused my heart to flutter. Dating was fun. It used to be something that I dreaded because I was so insecure about how I looked, what he might think of me, and whether I might embarrass myself. But now it was more like an opportunity to explore.

  With each new date I accepted, I felt my comfort zone growing wider and wider. The date actually sounded like it would be a lot of fun. I could wear casual clothes and I’d get some culture along the way—not to mention that Spence looked downright gorgeous in the pictures I’d seen. He had loose curls, olive skin, and eyes that were quite possibly the largest I’d ever seen. I couldn’t wait to get my chance to look into them.

  I did feel a little guilty because my date with Ben had gone well. But we weren’t exclusive by any means, and I wasn’t ready to simply pick a man and continue dating.

  I wanted to fall in love, but if that wasn’t possible, I was going to explore my options.

  As I returned to work on my book I thought of the e-mail that Blue had sent. It was hanging out there in cyberspace waiting for a response. It left me unsettled to think of him sitting somewhere waiting for my response. Was he really as heartbroken as he claimed?

  As much as I didn’t want to be, I was intrigued by his big secret. I wanted to know what it was—if it even really existed.

  Chapter 18

  I woke up early the next morning to get my writing done before my date with Spence. Since I’d shifted careers and become a writer I didn’t always follow a set schedule. I had taken full advantage of being able to sleep in as late as I pleased.

  As I began to write I got lost in an active scene. By the time my eyes were blurry, it was already after ten. I hadn’t eaten breakfast, showered, or done anything but type.

  I rushed around, glad that I could dress casual for this date. I was out the door, only a few minutes behind schedule.

  The food cart was exactly as I’d imagined it would be. It smelled like grease, the counter looked less than clean, and the person selling the food acted put out that he had customers. Still, I couldn’t wait to try the food.

  Since my diet had gotten so much healthier, food carts hadn’t been an option for me. But indulging now and then was fine, and I was looking forward to it.

  The man standing beside the cart distracted me from visions of a dripping cheese steak. He was shorter than I’d pictured, but just as handsome. He turned to look at me with a wide smile. I smiled in return as I walked up to him.

  “Spence?”

  “Only if you’re Samantha.” He grinned.

  “I am.” I offered him my hand to shake it. Instead he grasped it with a delicate touch and drew it to his lips.

  After a flutter of a kiss, he released it.

  I giggled. It was a sweet gesture, but unexpected.

  “Are you hungry?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

  “Absolutely!”

  “My favorite is the Italian beef. I don’t know if that’s something that you would like. You’re not one of those veggie chicks are you?”

  I raised an eyebrow at the description. “I don’t think so.” I did my best to ignore the fact that I thought his words were a little insulting. I might not have chosen to go completely plant-based with my diet, but I had respect for those who did. Dieting was hard, no matter what you ate.

  “Good. Then I’ll get us two?”

  “I can get my own—”

  “No. Sorry. I know, women are all evolved and such, but if you’re on a date with me, I’m paying.” He maneuvered past me to place the order.

  One of my eyes twitched.

  Cool it, Sammy, he’s just trying to be chivalrous—trying and failing.

  Before I could get wrapped up in an internal argument he turned to look at me again.

  “A beer maybe?”

  “No thanks. I’ll just have a water.”

  “You’re not a drinker?”

  “Not at eleven in the morning.” I laughed, but stopped abruptly when I saw a beer in his hand. “I mean—it’s just not for me.”

  He didn’t seem to notice my discomfort. He paid for the order and carried the plates to a rickety wooden table and chairs. When I sat down across from him, I was reminded of why I’d agreed to a date with him. When he looked at me, his eyes were endless—the type that I could easily get lost in.

  “So what do you do?”r />
  “I’m a writer.” I took a bite of the Italian beef and nearly cried out with pleasure. Luckily I managed to plant a napkin over my mouth before I did.

  “A writer?” He quirked an eyebrow. “Like, one of those blog thingies?

  “Well, I do have a blog. But I’m also working on a novel.”

  “Oh.” He nodded. “Interesting. So I guess you’re hoping to snatch up somebody with a real job, huh?”

  My jaw dropped. My mouth just happened to be stuffed with Italian beef at the time. I chewed and swallowed so fast that I bit the side of my tongue.

  “Excuse me? Why would you say something like that?”

  “Relax, relax.” He chuckled. “I just wanted to see if you’re cute when you’re mad.”

  I stared at him. I wasn’t sure if I should shout at him or laugh at him. He must have mistaken my silence for my waiting for the results of his test.

  “Yes—very cute.”

  “Wow, does that work on the women you date?” I shook my head.

  “I don’t know. Did it work on you?” The amount of charm in his smile made me forget just what I was angry about.

  “What do you do, Spence?”

  “I’m a truck driver—just local deliveries. I also do some painting.”

  “Oh? An artist?”

  “I don’t know. I like painting. I especially like painting portraits.”

  “That’s really interesting.” I smiled.

  “Maybe you’d like to model for me some time?”

  I couldn’t tell if he was being sleazy or genuine. Spence was hard to pin down.

  “I’m sure you could find a more suitable model.”

  “I’m not asking anyone else.” He met my eyes with an intense stare that made me feel as if he’d already stripped me down and slapped me on a canvas.

  “Oh, so where are the sculptures?” My heart fluttered. I didn’t know how to take Spence. He was abrasive and seemed a bit volatile, but at the same time he oozed sensuality. There was plenty of chemistry between us, which was enjoyable, but confusing.

  “Right over there.” He gestured to a large iron gate.

  Stepping into the outdoor museum made me feel as if I was stepping back through time. I imagined being in ancient Rome, or a mystical place like Atlantis. The stone sculptures towered above me at heights nearly as high as the trees. And there were some as small as mice gathered around the oddest shaped triangle I’d ever seen.

  “Isn’t it stimulating?” Spence stared at the circle of stone. “It makes my mind spin trying to figure out what it is—what it’s supposed to be.”

  “It’s unique.”

  We strolled through the sculptures. Spence caught my hand in his and held it firmly. He did not let go the entire time we explored the museum. It was a little awkward for me, as I barely knew him, but he seemed content. When we finished our tour, he led me back to the entrance.

  “Thanks for showing me this place. It’s amazing. I probably never would have found it myself.”

  “It is amazing.” He tugged me close, nearly knocking me off balance. “So are you.”

  “Uh, thanks.” I tugged back from his grasp to create a more comfortable distance.

  “What’s wrong, Samantha?” He smiled at me. “I thought you had a good time.”

  “I did.”

  “So, let’s make it even better.” He tugged me close again and this time attempted to kiss me.

  Chapter 19

  I gave Spence a solid shove on his chest and ducked out of the way of the kiss. I couldn’t deny that his desire for me inspired a desire of my own, but I didn’t like how aggressive he was being.

  “Sorry, I think you have the wrong idea about me, Spence.”

  “Oh, you don’t like to have fun? Don’t like to experience new things?”

  “I like both of those things but that doesn’t mean I want to move that fast.” I shook my head. “I like to get to know a person a little first. Is that too old-fashioned for you?”

  He shrugged and ran his hand back through his hair. “If that’s what you want. I guess it’s okay. I’m just not used to it.”

  “Well, then, it’ll be something new. Don’t you like trying new things?” I grinned.

  He winked at me. “You got me. So we’ll do this again?”

  I almost declined. Spence was just a little too handsy for me. But then I reminded myself that this was all about trying to expand my experiences. Spence was interesting, he was a type of man I’d never dated before and most of all, he wasn’t Blue—which was what I needed at the moment.

  “Sure.” I smiled.

  After leaving Spence at the museum, I headed back to my apartment. I had plans with Max in a few hours and I wanted to change into something that was less casual. My mind was still on Spence and what might have happened if I’d let him kiss me.

  The truth was that he stirred a strong want in me. I was never the type of girl to move fast in a relationship, but Spence sure made me question whether it was time for a change.

  Despite the fact that I had a week full of dates planned, meeting Max for drinks was the highlight of my day. I couldn’t wait to see him. I enjoyed drinking with Max. He was just about the only person that I would let go and have fun with. I trusted that he wouldn’t tease me about anything embarrassing that I did, and that he would make sure I got home okay on the rare occasion that I’d had one too many drinks.

  When I arrived at the little bar down the street from my apartment, Max was already there waiting for me.

  “Hi.” He smiled brightly at me as he stood up from his bar stool. “I took the liberty of ordering us our first round.”

  “Thanks.” I gave him a quick hug, then sat down on the bar stool beside his. “I’ve been looking forward to this all day.”

  “Really?” He glanced over at me. “Even with your date today?”

  “Oh yes! Definitely.” I laughed.

  “Uh-oh, what happened?” He raised an eyebrow.

  “It’s more like what would have happened if I let it.” I giggled and sipped my drink.

  “Wait, what?” He leaned in a little closer. “Wasn’t this your first date with this guy?”

  I fixed him with an amused look. “You’re judging me?”

  “No, I’m just waiting for the details.”

  “His name is Spence. He’s pretty hot.” I took another sip of my drink.

  “Hot?” Max sneered. “Probably one of those guys with more hair gel than hair.”

  “Hm.” I winked at him. “No hair gel needed. In fact, he’s got this natural allure to him. I can’t explain it. With Ben, I couldn’t really think about kissing him, but Spence—” I cleared my throat and finished my drink.

  “Spence what?” Max scooted a little closer.

  I noticed that he was dangerously close to tipping over his bar stool. I gestured to the bar tender for another drink. Then I put my foot on Max’s bar stool to keep him from tipping over.

  “I don’t know. He’s just one of those macho guys that bleeds sexy.”

  “Huh.” Max narrowed his eyes. “Just how sexy?”

  “Trust me, if I’d given him the green light, things would have gotten hot and heavy pretty fast. I had to put him in his place a few times.”

  “Doesn’t sound very respectful.” Max downed the rest of his drink.

  “Maybe not, but I have to admit, I enjoyed it. It’s ridiculous, right?”

  “Yeah.” He met my eyes. “It is.”

  I stared at him for a second. I expected him to smile to break the harshness of his words. He didn’t.

  “Here you go.” The bartender set my drink down in front of me.

  As the awkward silence grew between Max and me, I took a sip. I thought over my words and wondered if I’d said anything to upset him.

  “I was being safe. We were in a public place with lots of people around.” I shrugged. “If he had been any more aggressive I would have left.”

  “So a little disrespect is okay wit
h you?” Max shook his head. “You should have higher standards than that.”

  “I think there’s a gray area between disrespect and seduction. I mean, if you were with a woman and you really wanted to kiss her—but she wasn’t showing interest—would you just ignore the desire?” I looked over at him.

  Max only stared at his drink, so I continued. “You would probably touch her cheek, compliment her, find ways to get closer to her—you know—try to coax her into it, right? That’s not really disrespectful.”

  “I don’t know.” Max swirled the liquid in his glass. “I guess I think a woman has a right to decide when she wants to be touched—when she wants to be approached in a romantic way.”

  “Max, you can’t be serious.”

  “Why not?” He raised an eyebrow.

  “Pamela Grant.”

  “Huh?” He looked away. “Wow, haven’t thought about her for a long time.”

  “You seriously stalked her like a lovesick puppy.”

  “It wasn’t stalking exactly.”

  “You told me, if you just had the chance to kiss her, you knew that she would fall for you.”

  “Well—uh—I was younger then.”

  “Hm. You got your kiss, didn’t you?”

  “And a bloody nose.” Max rubbed his nose as if it still hurt.

  “Well, if Spence crossed any lines, he’d get one too.” I smiled. “You don’t need to worry about me, Max. Things are finally going well. At least I’m not crying on your shoulder over Blue.”

  “Right.” He finished his drink. “So you decided you’re done with him?”

  “Well.” I sighed. “I should be.”

  “But?”

  “I don’t know. I just can’t seem to stop thinking about him.”

  Chapter 20

  Max ran his hands across the top of the bar. “Maybe it’s worth giving Blue another shot.”

  “Wow, I didn’t expect you to say that. You think Spence is a jerk. Blue stood me up—again—and you think I owe him another chance?”

  “I didn’t say that. You don’t owe him anything. I just mean if you can’t stop thinking about him, maybe there’s something there.”

  “Maybe.” I thought about it for a moment. Max always knew what I was really feeling even when I didn’t know myself.

  “Think about it.” He shrugged. “Now, about Spence.”