Single Wide Female in Love Complete Bundle: Books 1-4

by Blake, Lillianna

  “I have another date with him. We’ll see how it goes.”

  “And Ben?”

  “Ben really seems pretty perfect. I have another date with him too. I’m looking forward to it. I just hope that I can connect with him.”

  “Hm.” Max signaled for another drink. I looked at him with surprise. He was drinking more than usual.

  “Thirsty tonight?”

  “A bit.”

  “Oh, Maxy Poo, are you drowning your sorrows?” I fluttered my eyes at him.

  He turned to look at me and laughed. “Unless you’ve got a raft.”

  “I can be your raft.” I winked at him. “I come equipped with floatation devices.”

  The moment the words came out of my mouth, I realized I might have had too much to drink.

  Max laughed even louder. “Hm, I feel so much safer now. Shall we go for a swim?”

  “Might want to check for leaks first.” I nearly choked on my drink as I laughed around my words.

  “Is that an invitation?” Max leaned toward me, flexing his hands.

  “Max!” I leaned back in reaction to his approaching hands.

  Of course I’d forgotten that my feet were on the rung of his bar stool. I tipped the whole thing over and Max landed in the arms of the woman sitting on the other side of him.

  “Oops, sorry!” Max grinned at her.

  “Oh no!” I tried to be horrified, but I was laughing too hard.

  “I think your girlfriend is drunk.” The woman shook her head.

  “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s my floatation device!”

  The woman shook her head again and moved to another seat.

  “Max, shush, you’re going to get us in trouble!”

  “Me?” Max laughed. “I think you just proved to me that Spence could easily end up with a bloody nose. You’re pretty good at protecting your personal space.”

  I laughed too and the natural comfortable energy ignited between us again. Whatever was going on with Max that made him act a little weird, I was okay with it. Just like he was okay with me knocking him off his bar stool. We understood each other in a way that not many friends seemed to.

  I woke up the next morning feeling a little gun-shy after my date with Spence. Sure, he had gotten me fired up in a way that I hadn’t been lately, but there were also some qualities that I didn’t enjoy.

  On Sunday I had an adventure date lined up. I was a little surprised when Kevin selected me as a match on MatchMe. He was extremely fit and active. Most of the time, it seemed that men who were very physically fit tended to want the same thing in a mate. Still, I figured it was worth a shot.

  Kevin offered to take me to his favorite rock-climbing wall. It was not exactly my cup of tea, but I always liked to challenge myself. Rock climbing was one thing that hadn’t even made my bucket list.

  Sunday morning I woke up with a hint of dread. So many things could go wrong. I started to wonder why I’d agreed to the date in the first place. Then I remembered. Blue. I needed to get him out of my head.

  I picked out some workout clothes and tried to make my hair look cute, although I knew as soon as I started sweating it would be a mess. I ate a very light breakfast and then headed out to meet Kevin.

  Kevin’s profile was full of pictures of his abdominal muscles and his chest, and there was even one that showed off his hipbones and nearly everything else. There was no question that he was in perfect shape. I suspected that maybe his pictures had been altered—or that they were old pictures.

  Why would a man like Kevin need to go on MatchMe? It just didn’t make sense to me.

  So half out of curiosity and half out of interest, I showed up at the rock-climbing building.

  When I stepped inside, I was greeted by the scent of sweat and disinfectant. The building was as big as a warehouse, with an assortment of walls to climb. There were also other obstacles to overcome and a course in the middle of the structure.

  I looked around for any sign of Kevin. There were plenty of people in spandex, but none looked like Kevin to me.

  “Samantha! Up here!”

  I looked up to the ceiling. Kevin was at the very top of the tallest rock wall in the building. “I’ll be right down!”

  I cringed as he rappelled down to the ground. Once his harness was off he jogged over to me. He was every bit as solid as his profile picture had indicated.

  “What do you say, Samantha, are you ready to change your life?” His smile was so eager that I could almost count all of his teeth.

  Chapter 21

  I looked up at the towering rock wall. “Uh, sure.”

  “Wow, great enthusiasm.” He clapped his hands.

  The sound was so sharp and unexpected that I jumped. It was clear to me that Kevin was passionate about rock climbing.

  “I’ll get JoJo to get you all set up.”

  JoJo was almost identical to Kevin, aside from having brown hair instead of blond. The two high-fived as Kevin walked up to him.

  “JoJo, this is the girl I’ve been telling you about.”

  I raised an eyebrow. We barely knew one another, so I had no idea what he would have told JoJo about me.

  “Hi.” JoJo beamed at me. “Are you ready to change your life?”

  I looked between the two of them. I didn’t see any indications of religious belief, so I guessed they didn’t intend to convert me.

  “I’m ready to try rock climbing if that’s what you mean.”

  “Right!” Kevin slapped me rather roughly on the back.

  I shot a glare in his direction. “Watch it!”

  “Oh, sorry—don’t know my own strength.” Kevin laughed and flexed his arm to show me his muscle.

  I tried not to be impressed. I really did, but it looked like a little mountain on his arm.

  “You can touch it.” He smiled.

  “That’s okay, I’m good.” I tried not to laugh.

  Kevin’s behavior was strange to me but he appeared to be quite pleased with himself. Maybe his fitness obsession was the reason he was on a dating site.

  JoJo began to help me get into a harness. When he tightened it there wasn’t much room left for air.

  “Are you okay?” Kevin looked into my eyes. “Are you ready for this?”

  “I guess.” The harness felt pretty uncomfortable in places that I didn’t want to point out.

  “Great! Great attitude! Up high!” He raised his hand into the air.

  I stared at him for a minute before I realized he was expecting me to high-five him. Was this guy serious? I didn’t want to be rude, so I slapped his hand. Then I pretended that it didn’t hurt. Even his palm was rock solid.

  “Let’s go, Samantha! This is the first day of your new life!”

  As he started to climb up the wall I suspected that he hadn’t selected me for a date at all. He quite possibly had selected me to be his own personal project.

  I tried to follow him up the wall, but getting my toes not to slip off the rocks was harder than I expected.

  “You can do it, Samantha!” JoJo coached me. “Just stay focused and remember, nothing will feel as good as getting to the top!”

  “Let’s go, Samantha, get moving!” Kevin tried to motivate me, but he only inspired more annoyance.

  I managed to climb up a few feet. My body trembled from using muscles that I didn’t normally use. I felt the intensity of having the ground so far beneath me. I really didn’t think I was going to make it to the top.

  “Go, Samantha, go!” JoJo called out from below me.

  “I’m going!” I snarled. All of the cheering was wearing on my patience.

  “That’s right, Samantha, use that anger!” Kevin plowed right up to the top of the rock wall.

  I spent the rest of my journey to the top staring at his rear end. It wasn’t exactly an unpleasant sight. However, his persistent encouragement ruined it for me.

  “Oh, you’re going to see some anger alright.” My mind filled with visions of swinging him around on h
is harness like a tetherball.

  I pushed myself harder to get to the top—the main reason being so that I could then get myself back down to end this ridiculous date.

  By the time I reached the top, I was covered in sweat. The one positive thing so far was the fact that I’d gotten my workout in.

  “Look at you! You should be so proud! I’m proud! Are you proud?”

  I don’t know what he might have seen on my face, but whatever it was made him get very pale and quiet very fast.

  “Alright, Samantha, come back down!” JoJo waved from the bottom of the rock wall.

  I hadn’t really thought about the going-down process. Going up seemed like the hard part. But when I looked down from the height of the ceiling my stomach lurched. I was glad I hadn’t eaten too much for breakfast.

  “You can do it—”

  “Stop it!” I scowled at Kevin. “Just stop.”

  Kevin looked a bit like a smacked puppy.

  I gritted my teeth and began to make my way slowly down the rock wall.

  You can do this, Samantha. All you have to do is get to the bottom. Everything is going to be fine—just a little rough patch—and then you’ll be back on your feet.

  Except I didn’t feel anything under my feet. In fact, my feet were no longer on the rock wall and I was falling. JoJo pulled on the harness to slow my descent, and the harness got a little too familiar with my nether regions.

  “Ouch!” I grimaced. Kevin, who’d climbed down alongside me, reached out and grabbed my hand. I was actually glad he did. He eased me to the ground.

  “You okay?” he frowned.

  “Get this thing off of me!” I tugged at the straps of the harness.

  JoJo went to work unbuckling. I was a little concerned that I might need a surgical removal.

  Once the harness was off, I actually did feel proud. When I looked up at the rock wall I’d just climbed, I was impressed that I’d done it.

  “You’re pretty strong.” Kevin patted my back.

  I tried not to bark at him. “Thanks. So are you.” I pretended not to be having visions of him being tossed off the side of a rock wall.

  “I know that it’s customary on a date to go out for a meal, but I want to introduce you to something even better.”

  I was covered in sweat and sore in unmentionable places. I didn’t have the will left in me to argue with him.

  “Okay.”

  Chapter 22

  Kevin led me over to the juice bar at the other side of the building. I didn’t mind that too much. I’d gone through a juicing phase and some of the concoctions could be really delicious. I looked over the menu and was about to select a drink when he ordered for me.

  “We’ll both have the Green Machine.”

  “Oh, what’s in that?”

  “Only the most nutritious experience of your life!”

  I looked at the glass of green sludge that was placed on the counter in front of me. “Oh.”

  “Drink up! The texture is a little hard to get past, but try to think about what it’s doing for your body and how it will transform you from the inside out!”

  “Look, Kevin, I’m all about trying new things, but this is not going anywhere near my mouth.” I frowned and met his eyes. “I appreciate what you’re doing here, but if you’re going to ask a girl out you really shouldn’t be doing it to boost your personal training experience.”

  “I just thought we could get fit together!” He was still quite enthusiastic.

  “Right—except you already have zero percent body fat. So really I’d be the one getting fit.”

  “Is something wrong with that?”

  “Not at all. But I’m not interested in a man who wants to change me. Either you take me for who I am right in this moment—not who you think I might one day be—or you don’t.”

  “But, Samantha, you have so much potential.”

  “I know I do. I’m working on my health and I will continue to, but not for any man. For me. Kevin, I’m sure you’ll find someone who is interested in your version of dating, but it isn’t me.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. I thought you were ready for transformation.”

  “What I’m ready for is a shower and an ice pack to sit on. I’m not forcing my transformation. I’m letting it happen naturally. It may take longer than your brand, but in the long run, I’m transforming my life, not just my body.”

  “Fair enough.” Kevin sighed. “Is there any chance you’d want to do a short testimonial that I could put on my website?”

  “Bye, Kevin.”

  As I walked—or more accurately, waddled—out of the building, I was glad to leave Kevin behind. He might have had the body of a god, but his personality was more akin to a goldfish’s.

  I opened the door to my apartment and let out a groan as I stepped in. My entire body was already throbbing with pain from the workout. All I could think about was getting into a hot bath. I stripped down and ran the water.

  As I rubbed at the muscles in my legs, I thought about my body. I could admire Kevin’s dedication to fitness and his flawless physique, but I didn’t really want that for myself. I liked the softness of my body and thought my curves were sensual. I wanted to be healthier, but I didn’t want to be skin and bone, or nothing but muscle.

  I eased my body into the hot water with a sigh of relief. Even though I hadn’t enjoyed the date that much, I had actually enjoyed the rock climbing. It was something I hadn’t thought I could accomplish, but I gave it a shot, and managed to do it.

  As I closed my eyes and relaxed, my mind filled with images of climbing mountains. In my fantasy, I was strong, I was healthy, and I was determined to get to the top. I was also not alone.

  When I reached the top, I turned and smiled at the person who was climbing right behind me. The person I smiled at just happened to be Blue—my faceless Blue, who I could recognize just by emotion and energy.

  All of the peace I’d summoned with my relaxing bath disappeared. My chest tightened with pain. I would never meet Blue. He would never be the one at my side as I accomplished my dreams. The thought brought tears to my eyes. It was nothing I ever believed would happen.

  I climbed out of the tub and dried off. With just my robe on, I walked over to my computer. I had every right to be mad, to never speak to him again, but I just couldn’t imagine the rest of my life without him. Maybe we would never be in love, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t miss his advice and support.

  I sat down and began typing out an e-mail.

  Blue,

  I read your e-mail. I know that you think we can be more, but I no longer think that’s a good idea. I want you to be part of my life. I honestly can’t imagine not having you to talk to, but I will no longer put my heart on the line. I would love for us to continue our relationship as friends, but I have no interest in meeting you or in anything more than friendship. If you can put that behind us, then we can still have an amazing friendship. If you can’t, I guess this will have to be goodbye. I hope that you are able to find the love that you are looking for.

  Samantha

  I read over the e-mail. I thought it sounded a little harsh. But that was okay. I was still angry. I had a right to be harsh.

  I sent the e-mail and then took a deep breath.

  Would Blue value our friendship enough to want to continue it?

  Chapter 23

  I was still sore when I woke up the next morning. My muscles felt like the mountain had climbed me rather than the other way around. My emotions were off-kilter too, because I wasn’t sure if I should have sent that last e-mail to Blue. I wanted him to know I cared, but I needed to draw that line in the sand for the sake of my own sanity.

  As I got ready for my breakfast date with Ben, I tried to remind myself how much I’d enjoyed our last date. I hoped that this time I’d get to know him a little better and maybe find that spark that had been missing during our first date.

  As I finished dressing my phone chimed with a text.
I picked it up and smiled at Ben’s sweet words.

  I’m looking forward to our date this morning. See you soon.

  It was nice that he was making such an effort to connect with me. He didn’t leave me waiting or wondering whether he was thinking about me. I was sure that this would be the day that I would find that attraction to Ben that I’d hoped for. I sent back a quick text.

  Me too. See you in 20.

  I headed out for the date feeling much better than I’d felt since waking up that morning. I’d even forgotten to check to see if Blue had e-mailed me back. I didn’t think about Blue until I was in my car driving toward the cafe that I’d chosen for my date with Ben. It overlooked a small lake and had a wonderful assortment of meals to choose from. It had been on my list of places to take Blue when we finally got together—which is probably why I was now thinking about Blue as I made my way to my date with Ben.

  I liked the idea of seeing Ben first thing in the morning. I hoped he wouldn’t be as nervous as he was last time.

  He was already seated at one of the tables on the porch that overlooked the water when I arrived. I studied him for a few minutes from a distance. There was nothing about him that I could pinpoint as unattractive, and yet, I still saw him just as another person sitting there—not as the potential love of my life.

  Give it time, Sammy.

  I walked up the steps and joined him at the table.

  “Good morning.” He smiled brightly.

  “Good morning.” I sat down beside him so that he could still see the water.

  He reached out as if he might rest his hand on mine, but then drew back.

  I smiled and took his hand. “How are you this morning?”

  I wanted to feel electricity when I touched him, but all I felt was a sweaty palm. I was sure mine was a little damp too.

  “Great, now that you’re here. You’re right about this place being amazing.”

  We chatted for a few minutes before ordering. I did find it easy to talk to him, but I had to draw him into the conversation.

  “So you mentioned your sister last time we were together. Are you two close?”

  “Oh yeah, we were best friends growing up and still are. She’s busy now, though, with a husband and kids.”

  “Yes, we’re hitting that age, aren’t we—where everyone is pairing up and parenting.” I smiled.