You Will Remember Me

by Hannah Mary McKinnon

  When he looked at me again, I could tell his allegiances had shifted. He was coming back to me where he’d belonged right from the start. I knew it wouldn’t be easy for him to cope, that he’d blame himself for a long, long while. I realized it would take time and patience to put this gorgeous boy back together again. But I also knew I was the only one capable of doing so, the only person in the whole world who understood. As much as it hurt my heart to see him broken, it was what strengthened my resolve. I vowed I’d make his pain go away, that I’d do whatever was necessary to make him happy, no matter what or how long it took. I’d be there for him.

  “We can never speak of this again,” he’d said with tears streaming down his face a month after we’d buried Celine on the grounds, when he’d knocked on my bedroom door in the middle of the night because he couldn’t sleep again, the nightmares were too intense. “We’ll protect each other. It’s the only way we’ll get through this. Do you promise me, Maya? Do you?”

  As he stared at me now, standing quietly in the garage, I took his hand. “We made a pact that day,” I said. “It bound us together, forever. We pressed her fingers on a notepad to make sure we left her prints, and I wrote a letter for her parents, saying she was running away. Then we sneaked into her house and packed a bag with some of her clothes and favorite things. It wasn’t hard to make everyone believe she’d left, especially when I went to Boston on a school trip and mailed the postcard.”

  “Where is she?” Ash said, his voice barely a whisper. “What did we do with her body?”

  “She’s not too far from where Mom and Brad are buried. Don’t worry, she wasn’t alone for very long.”

  Six months, because that’s when my beautiful mom had died, and if I hadn’t been so distracted by Celine’s incessant pandering toward Ash, I’d have noticed she was sick. Maybe I could’ve saved her. Ash had almost lost it when we’d found out our parents had stated in their wills they wanted to be buried together on the grounds. The guilt of knowing the person whose death we’d covered up would forever lie so close to our beloved parents who were none the wiser almost made him confess everything to the cops. I helped him through that, too.

  I never told Ash I thought Celine should be thankful because she didn’t deserve the company. That wretched girl was also the reason I’d never sell this house. If anyone found her body, they’d blame Ash. We’d promised we’d do anything to protect each other, and I would rather die than break my word.

  In the end, getting away with it hadn’t been complicated. People tend to have short memories and hardly anyone mentioned Celine these days. Of course, nobody else knew she was dead, but even with Keenan I could already tell it would be the same. They’d call his death a tragic accident. Poor guy working underneath his car after having a few beers. They’d shake their heads, mourn awhile and say a prayer or two before getting on with their busy lives. That’s the way things worked when someone died. People paid attention for a while and then moved on. Forgot. It’s how it had been with Mom and Brad. Give it a little time, and hardly anyone cared.

  35

  ASH

  I stared at my stepsister, trying to comprehend what she’d told me, but all the doubt crumbled away as the memories of what happened that night slipped back into place.

  Celine had died because of us. We’d hidden it from the world. She was buried on the grounds. How could we have done such a thing? How could we lie to Celine’s family for years, pretend their daughter, their sister, had run away? We were abominable, that much was certain now, but looking at Maya, her face a picture of pure calm, I realized she felt no guilt about what we’d done. Given the chance, if we had the ability to go back in time, it seemed she’d make the same decision all over again, and if we’d done something so despicable once...

  My legs buckled as I sank to my knees, all my strength and resolve flowing out of my body and into the ground. “What really happened to Kate? You have to tell me—”

  “Let’s go to the house,” she said, reaching for my hands, trying to pull me up, but as she did, there was a dull thud from somewhere inside the garage. “Get up, Ash.” Maya raised her voice and yanked on my arms again. “Come on, let’s go now and I’ll tell you everything else.”

  I was about to move when I heard another thud, followed by what sounded like a muffled cry. Pulling away from my sister, I cocked my head and listened, putting a finger to my lips. As Maya was about to speak, I shushed her and got up, asked if she’d heard the noises, too. She insisted I was imagining it, pulled on my sleeve to steer me toward the front door, but I shook her off, walking farther into the garage. Another thump, another cry. I turned around.

  “Maya,” I said, slowly. “Is someone in the old room below?”

  She shook her head, but her eyes betrayed her, and I looked back at the trapdoor, which had been covered with boxes of Maya’s supplies set atop the orange rug. It was definitely where the noises were coming from.

  “Who’s down there?” I asked her before the realization hit me. “Jesus, is it Lily?” She swallowed, hard, but didn’t deny it. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I shouted as I ran to the trapdoor, kicking and shoving the boxes out of the way.

  Maya didn’t move. “If you open that,” she said slowly, “everything will be ruined. She’ll tell the police I put her down there. I’ll be arrested...”

  “What were you thinking?” I yelled, shaking my head. “We were about to leave for Brookmount. We’d have been gone for two days. There’s nothing down there. No food, no water. What if she’d died? She’d—” I stopped, what had to be a look of complete horror and absolute disgust appearing on my face. “Unless that’s what you wanted. Was she right? Did you set her up? She wasn’t lying after all, was she? You wanted to get rid of her.”

  “Help me!” Lily screamed, her shouts clearer now that the boxes were gone, and I turned my attention away from Maya, who stepped closer as I kicked the orange rug away. I bent over, my fingers closing over the ring of the trapdoor when another thought punched me in the gut.

  “Did you have anything to do with Keenan’s accident?” When she didn’t ask me what I meant I knew—I knew—she’d killed him. And Kate’s death, that mustn’t have been an accident, either. That’s why I’d left Newdale after she died. Maya had to have been the reason I’d changed my identity. It was all because of her. I couldn’t remember why, not yet, but I’d make damn sure I would because another thing was certain. My stepsister was a sociopath.

  I lowered my voice, my words coming out firm, hard and cold. “Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to take a step back while I let Lily out. Then we’re calling the police—”

  “No, I—”

  “Yes. We’ll tell them everything.”

  “But they’ll send us to prison.”

  “Then so be it. I’m done with the lies, with all the deceit. Do you hear me? I’m done.”

  “How can you say that? I’ll never see you again,” she shouted, letting out a sob, her shoulders shaking as she collapsed on the floor, and I wondered if this was the first time I’d witnessed her true emotions. There was no telling what she’d lied to me about over the past couple of weeks, or what she’d done, and I wasn’t going to give her another opportunity to do more harm.

  “I think that’ll be what’s best for the both of us,” I said, watching her blanch so hard I thought she might puke.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice a mere whisper as she clutched her stomach. “I’m sorry, Ash. I’ll do whatever you want. Whatever you say. I’m sorry.”

  I ignored her and as soon as I opened the trapdoor, I dropped the ladder into the room below. Lily looked up at me, terrified and shaking as she shouted my name over and over. I put my foot on the top rung, ready to climb down to her, but stopped and turned to Maya, a person I should never have trusted, and would never trust again.

  “Climb up to me, Lily,” I
said. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

  36

  MAYA

  Before Ash stood at the top of the ladder and made that promise to Lily, I already knew all of the trust between us, everything I’d worked so hard to rebuild, was gone. This was ground zero, and I pivoted, transforming my plan into a better, more sophisticated and permanent one. The foundation for it already existed, quite literally, in this garage, something I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to use, but now knew I had no other choice.

  “Lily,” Ash said, reaching for her. “Are you hurt? Let me help you.”

  He grabbed her hand as she emerged looking like a terrified, wounded animal, ready to step into the arms of her Prince Charming. I saw her fingers wrapped around a belt, realized it must have been what she’d used to make all that noise, throwing the buckle repeatedly at the trapdoor.

  How very clever.

  She climbed the last few rungs. Blood trickled from a wound on the side of her head where I’d hit her, and her clothes were brown and gray from the dirt and dust. If I’m being completely honest, she looked pathetic, and they were too busy with each other to notice me moving the few feet to my workbench, where my hand deftly closed over one of my power tools.

  “She hit me,” Lily said, letting out a sob. “She locked me in. I thought I was going to die.” Ash put his arms around her, and I almost rolled my eyes at their cute little reunion. When she finally worked up the guts to look at me, she flinched. “You wanted me to die,” she whispered.

  “Let’s get you to the house,” Ash said, ignoring me. “Everything’s going to be okay now, I promise.” When she took a step back and he bent over to close the trapdoor, exactly how I knew he would because he wouldn’t want anyone to fall down there by accident, I took three swift strides, pushed my nail gun to Lily’s chest and pulled the trigger.

  Her eyes widened as the sharp metal pierced her flesh, burrowing straight into her heart. I watched as her mouth dropped open in surprise, and she let out a tiny gasp before sinking to the floor without making another sound. Now I knew what killing someone directly—immediate, precise and efficient—felt like. It wasn’t so hard after all.

  “Lily!” Ash screamed, too focused on her to notice me lowering the nail gun onto the floor behind me. He dropped to his knees, shouted her name again, pressed his hand over her chest where a patch of crimson had already spread across her shirt.

  I didn’t have long until he realized what I’d done, so I picked up the heavy piece of driftwood I’d used on Lily, and swung hard, aiming for the back of his head. No, I didn’t want to hurt him, but sometimes things had to get worse before they got better.

  As he slumped, unconscious, over his dead girlfriend’s body, I knelt down and stroked his hair. “It’s for the best,” I whispered. “You’ll thank me. I promise you’ll thank me for protecting us. For keeping our pact.”

  EPILOGUE

  MAYA

  You expected a story with a fairy-tale happy ending? We’ll get there, because it’s not over yet. Besides, happiness means different things to different people. There isn’t one single definition of what it means to be content. In my case, at this moment in time, it’s knowing Ash is home, and that he’ll always be where he belongs. Here, in our house in Newdale. With me.

  It’s been three months now, but I’d be lying if I said I was delighted with his progress. He tried to fight me at first when he woke up in the new storage room in the garage, found his hands and feet bound, and realized I wasn’t going to set him free. At one point he refused to eat or drink because he’d figured out I’d been giving him more clonazepam to keep him calm, but after almost three days without anything, he begged for water and I was happy to comply. Like I said, I don’t want to hurt him.

  It took him a while to accept Lily was gone, but I assured him I was gentle when I laid her to rest close to Celine in a quiet corner of our grounds, where nobody will ever find them. Not as long as we live here, and I’ve already told him he’ll never leave.

  In time, maybe I’ll let him move back into the house, but for now he’s comfortable in the double-insulated storage room, the little nest he helped build for himself. He still has to have his hands and feet tied, I can’t trust him enough yet, but the benzos make him relaxed and manageable. I had to increase the dose while I finished the work on the rooms in the garage, and I didn’t want to try to put him in the room below. Believe me, I’m not the devil.

  The first thing I did was add a steel-reinforced door to the storage room and switch the hinges around to make sure Ash couldn’t get to them from the inside. Next I worked on the bathroom, sealing up the original door and thickening the walls with bricks, but not before I’d cut a different opening, giving Ash direct access from his room. After all, he has to be comfortable and able to use the facilities whenever he needs. The work was easy to do once he was passed out, although all this medication still makes him confused, but we’ll get there. Soon enough he’ll understand this is what’s best for him. I promised I’d be patient. We have all the time in the world. Nobody’s looking for him.

  Most people would be surprised to learn how easy it is to make someone disappear. I checked the weather, made sure I knew when to expect the most torrential rain, a mere two days after I’d killed Lily. Historic levels, they’d said. July Fourth festivities canceled. The threat of riverbanks bursting. An increased risk of accidents. Everyone had been advised to stay home and avoid unnecessary travel and so I let Patrick know I could come in to work after all. And what do you know, while I was there, he found a misplaced envelope with six hundred and eighty-three bucks in his office, where it had “slipped” behind a cabinet.

  “Lily must have put it there for some reason and I didn’t see it,” Patrick had said, putting a hand to his chest as he let out an emphatic sigh before running a theatrical hand over his brow. “Thank God. That would’ve been so embarrassing. I don’t want to lose Lily, she’s an amazing worker and everyone loves her. You were right, and I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions like that.”

  “What she doesn’t know won’t kill her,” I said with a smile. “Actually, seeing as I’m not taking time off, she was hoping I could cover her shifts for the next couple of days. She and Ash are quite the lovebirds and want to go on that road trip together instead. I said I didn’t mind and I’m happy to help. And I was wrong. Things between them are working out after all.”

  “How lovely,” he said, beaming. Of course. Everybody loved Lily.

  “Between you and me,” I whispered, leaning in, “she’s moving here permanently and I’m so excited. It’ll be like having a sister.”

  Patrick had agreed to my covering her shifts, as I knew he would, and I sent a message to Lily’s phone, telling her about the good news. Once I got home after work, I implemented the next part of my plan, texting Sam from Lily’s cell.

  The pill stuff was a big misunderstanding. Ash and I are okay. Things are great and back on track!

  His reply was swift. Congratulations. I’m so happy for you both.

  I’d left it an hour or so, before replying, We’re leaving for Brookmount soon. We’ll speak to the cops, pick up his things and I’m moving to Maine. I can’t wait!

  Cue multiple heart-eyes emojis, to which he’d replied with a series of happy faces. The genius of modern technology. You can pretend to be anyone if you have their details, although using her credit card had been a problem. Turned out Little Miss Spender had almost no money left, but I’d found a way around that.

  Thanks so much for offering to pay for our flights back home! I texted from her phone to mine. It’s the most generous thing anyone has ever done for me.

  You’re so welcome, Lily. Anything to make you and Ash happy.

  I’ll admit to gagging a little when I wrote the reply, and again when I used my card to pay for a one-way flight from Maryland to Portland for both her and Ash, selecting dates a week out.
Money well spent, in the end.

  And then I implemented the final part of the vanishing act.

  There’s a point between Newdale and Yarmouth, where the road goes over a wide, fast-flowing river, a notorious spot for accidents because it’s a long stretch followed by a sharp bend and a bridge. There’s been talk about improving it for years, and all the locals know to slow down. Except Lily wasn’t a local, and Ash wouldn’t have remembered the treacherous curve. It’s an easy place to push a car into the river without making the accident obvious. After all, I couldn’t have the authorities finding it too quickly, and once I’d smashed the window from the inside and cleaned up the glass, got the empty car in the water and watched it bob around before it slowly tipped forward and disappeared, I shivered with delight. I wasn’t sure where it might end up, but with the amount of rain coming down, it would take a long while to be found.

  My plan had to be flawless, and the execution of it even better, and so, two days later, I alerted the authorities. I told them I hadn’t heard from Ash or Lily, insisting something must have happened to them. I cried and begged them to do something, anything, to find my brother and his girlfriend. I played the terrified stepsister so well I deserved all the fucking Oscars. When the police found out Ash had disappeared before, had lived under a fake name in Brookmount and that Lily was an ex-con, their interest in the alleged missing persons case all but disappeared.

  I waited, crying on Barbara’s, Patrick’s and Fiona’s shoulders, and, finally, after almost ten weeks—longer than I thought—Ricky came to the house, his mood somber. They’d found Lily’s car more than a mile downstream from the bridge, completely submerged. There were no bodies, but Ash’s and Lily’s bags were in the trunk, her purse containing her wallet and phone still wedged under the seat. I cried when Ricky told me how the driver’s window had been broken in their apparent attempt to escape, sobbed when he reassured me they’d do everything possible to recover Ash and Lily, although I had to understand there was a possibility they’d been swept out to sea.