My Tattered Bonds

by Courtney Cole

  He smiled gently. “There are a couple of options,” he answered. “And we’ll discuss them at dinner. First, you should wash. Then you must get dressed.” He waved his hand toward the bed and I found a gorgeous jade green crushed-velvet gown there. It was exactly the color of my eyes. “Go ahead. Don’t be shy,” he added.

  “You want me to get dressed… while you are here watching?” I was incredulous. He smiled again and stepped back to sit on a chair in the corner. He was almost entirely concealed by the shadows, yet every inch of my body felt his presence.

  “Go ahead,” he instructed softly. “I’m harmless. Pretend I am not even here. I know you will look lovely in this gown. I selected it myself. I cannot wait to see it on you.”

  “I’m not washing,” I said firmly. “It’s my husband’s blood. If you don’t like it, don’t look at me.”

  A low chuckle came from the corner. “I’m the god of the Underworld,” he said. “Do you think the sight of blood bothers me?”

  I sighed and turned to the gown. It was silly to refuse to wash, but as long as Cadmus’ blood was still smeared on me, then I felt as though he was still here with me, in a strange way.

  The shadows covered Hades’ face, so I tried to pretend that he wasn’t here with me. Turning my back to him, I lowered my thigh-length tunic and allowed it to drop to my ankles. I stepped out of it and reached for the gown, but Hades voice murmured into my ear from directly behind me. He had moved so quietly that I didn’t even hear him.

  “Allow me,” he breathed. He held out the gown and I moved away from him.

  “I’ll never allow you to touch me,” I snarled. “I’m a married woman. My heart belongs to Cadmus.”

  “Trust me, I’ll never touch you against your will,” he promised. “I’m simply going to help you with this gown. The buttons are complicated.”

  I eyed him for a moment and then sighed, stepping into the gown and pulling it up as quickly as I could, covering my naked body. He fastened the buttons that lined my back, standing so close that I could feel his warm breath on my neck. Regardless of my protests that I would never let him touch me, my body longed for it. It was an effect that I couldn’t control and I couldn’t ignore. My nerve endings were on fire where he touched and I ached to lean closer to him. I hated it. But I couldn’t help it.

  He brought his lips to the side of my bare neck and brushed them softly along my skin. Without meaning to, I whimpered and then silently cursed myself. I didn’t want him to know the effect he had on me. Steeling myself, I focused on Cadmus’ face in my mind, trying desperately to ignore Hades’ powerful charm.

  Block it out, block it out, I chanted silently.

  I had forgotten, however, that Hades could read my thoughts and I felt him smile against my neck.

  “Just as I thought,” he said softly. “You’re exquisite. I’ll leave you now to finish.”

  He was gone and I didn’t even hear the door close behind him. Letting my breath exhale in a rush, I turned to the mirror on the vanity. The gown was becoming. It was strapless and hugged my form, with a slit on one side all the way to my hip. My husband’s blood was still smeared on my arms and my cheek and I felt a tiny bit of satisfaction. Maybe it would act as a reminder to Hades that I was a married woman. Not that it mattered to him.

  On the vanity counter, I saw a glittering emerald necklace, chunky and elaborate. I smirked.

  Nice try, Hades, I thought.

  I hoped that he was listening to my thoughts right now. There was no way that I was removing my bloodstone and replacing it with any other necklace. No way in… well, Hades.

  I looked into the magic mirror one more time before leaving and found my husband and daughter still sleeping. I traced the outlines of their faces on the glass, sadness welling up in my heart. Was this really going to be my future? I would forever be damned to watching them from a mirror? I swallowed a lump in my throat and turned away, leaving my new bedchambers for dinner.

  When I arrived in the dining room, I found Hades already seated at one end of the table. Persephone was at the other end, radiant in a canary yellow satin gown. Bright yellow sapphires adorned her hair and her neck. She didn’t look pleased to see me, not that I could blame her.

  “I’m sorry, Persephone,” I told her quietly. “I do not wish to be here.”

  She nodded. “I’m sure,” she acknowledged. “But it doesn’t change the fact that you are.”

  I ignored that and walked to the only other place setting at the long table. I was situated directly between Persephone and Hades. Before I knew it, he was behind me, sliding out my chair like a perfect gentleman. I sighed again and was seated. This might possibly be the strangest position I had ever been in. I was sitting directly in the middle of a husband and wife. The husband wanted to sleep with me- to possess me- and the wife had full knowledge of that and to top it off, they loved each other deeply. What an odd marriage.

  Hades snapped his fingers and servants began bringing in the courses of our meal. Having not eaten in days, I was starving and practically inhaled my food. Each bite was delicious and my goblet was kept full of ice cold nectar. I tried to talk about my situation, but Hades shushed me.

  “You need to eat,” he observed. “We’ll speak in a while.”

  It was true- while I desperately wanted to nail down the details of this deal with Hades, I was insanely hungry. I put another bite in my mouth, then another. Finally, we finished up dessert and it was time to talk.

  “Now, back to your issue of family,” Hades began. I was pleasantly full and the nectar had replenished my strength. I could feel my cheeks flushing from its effects, just as a mortal’s would flush with too much wine.

  “You mentioned something about options?” I asked casually, staring at him in the eye. His twinkled happily. I was certain that whatever they were, the options were all to his benefit.

  “Yes,” he confirmed. “You have a couple. First, you may stay in this palace with me while Raquel and Cadmus continue to stay in the Isles of the Blessed. This would not be a bad option, Chosen One. The isles are filled with every luxury and everything that they could possibly ever want or desire. It is truly a paradise. And you will, of course, retain your magic mirror. You can see them at any given time.”

  “And my second option?” I tried to ensure that my voice didn’t waver, but it was difficult. The thought of never being with my family again was soul-shattering.

  “Your second option is to bring them here, to reside with us here in the palace. They will be here with you, and they will have freedom to come and go as they please, roaming anywhere in the Underworld that they wish.”

  “And me?” I asked quietly.

  “You will be confined to the palace grounds,” Hades answered. “It is your energy that I find exquisite. I want you near me at all times.”

  At the other end of the table, Persephone slammed down her goblet, but she remained silent. I glanced in her direction and found her glaring angrily at her husband. He remained unfazed, waiting for my answer.

  “Why can’t they return to the Spiritlands?” I asked. “Why must they remain here at all?”

  “Because that simply isn’t an option,” he replied firmly. “But the Isles are a paradise, even more so than the Spiritlands. They are better off there, anyway.”

  “In your opinion,” I added. He smiled.

  “My opinion is the only one that matters here.”

  Unfortunately, I knew that he was right. I was completely at his mercy. And I didn’t want my family to be under his thumb on a daily basis. I didn’t want my daughter anywhere near him. He nodded.

  “Excellent choice,” he approved. “They shall stay in the Isles.”

  My heart broke at his words, but I didn’t say a word. It was necessary. I had to protect them, no matter the cost.

  “And what of my mortal mother and my friends?” I asked.

  He smiled. “I will return them post-haste to their mortal lives. I didn’t really need them h
ere, I simply needed them to bring you here.”

  “But what of their memories from here?” I asked, troubled. “They will forever be haunted by this.”

  “No,” he answered. “They won’t be. I shall simply erase those memories. They will have no recollection of this time, whatsoever. It is very easy, really.”

  A thought occurred to me and I hesitantly wondered if I should ask. Hades saved me from my unease.

  “Of course,” he answered my thoughts. “That is actually a very considerate idea. I can certainly erase you from their memories, as well. I can eliminate all traces of Macy Lockhart’s existence in the mortal world. That might be the most humane thing to do in this situation, don’t you agree?”

  I nodded numbly. I hated it. I would miss my mother and Jess and Jenn… but I couldn’t live with the thought that they were missing me, too. It would be better if I never existed to them at all.

  “Consider it done,” Hades concluded. I nodded silently, willing myself not to cry.

  We finished our after-dinner drinks in silence and I excused myself to my rooms. Looking around, I studied my new quarters. They were elaborate and lavish. Hades had spared no expense, but I didn’t care. The bed was large and soft, encased in a billowing canopy and sheer side panels. Fluffy pillows were piled on top and I threw myself onto them, sobbing into them quietly. In all my mortal lives, I had never known such pain as this. It filled me up and I couldn’t think past it. So, I cried. It was the only thing I could think of to do.

  I cried for at least an hour and when my heaving sobs finally subsided, I lay spent for a moment longer before I sat up, reaching a shaking hand up to smooth my hair. I glanced at the magic mirror. Did I want to see? I knew by now, they had to know that I was gone. Did I really want to see that?

  No, I didn’t. I couldn’t stand to see Cadmus in pain or see the look on Raquel’s face. I couldn’t imagine what she would feel. She had only just discovered that I was her mother and to have me snatched away now, it would have to be devastating for such a little girl. I truly hoped that Aphrodite would swoop in and provide all of the motherly things that Cadmus wouldn’t be able to provide. He was a glorious father, but children needed a mother’s touch in some things.

  Standing up, I re-covered the mirror with a velvet drape. I would look again sometime in the near future, but I couldn’t handle it today. My heart was just too fragile.

  Straightening my clothes, I left my rooms to explore the palace. I would do anything to occupy my mind so that I didn’t focus on how on my own devastation.

  My suite was apparently in a wing dedicated to bedrooms. It was quiet and tranquil during the day with the halls lit softly. I followed the winding corridors out until I emerged in a great room. Books lined the walls, from floor to ceiling and I found Persephone seated by a raging fire, a book in her hands. She wasn’t reading it, however. She was staring absently into the flames.

  “I’ve heard that you can control the Phoenix,” she murmured, without looking up. I had no idea how she knew it was me and I didn’t ask. I quietly crossed the room and seated myself in the chair opposing her.

  “Yes,” I answered simply. The fire felt wonderfully warm and quickly made me sleepy. The emotions of the day had drained me and I closed my eyes, soaking in the warmth.

  “It must be exquisite to be in control of so much power,” she replied. I felt her eyes on my face, but I didn’t open my own. I was suddenly very, very weary.

  “Not particularly,” I answered. “I don’t even know how I do it sometimes. It just happens.”

  “That is because the bird is in tune with you,” she mused. “I have a book here somewhere about the Phoenix. You are welcome to read it. In fact, you are welcome to use anything that you find here…except for my husband.”

  My eyes snapped open.

  “I don’t wish to use your husband,” I snapped. “I don’t want anything to do with him and I don’t want to be here at all. I want to be with my own husband and my daughter and the rest of my family.”

  “Nevertheless,” she continued. “I’m very possessive and when Hades wants something, he can be very persistent and patient. Don’t think that I don’t know what kind of effect he has on women. In fact, he has the same effect on men- it just manifests itself differently. People, male or female, usually endeavor to please him. Something about him is so… delicious.”

  “I don’t find it delicious,” I confided. “I find it disturbing. I don’t wish to have any feelings about him at all.”