My Favorite Senior Moments

by Karen O'Connor

  13

  A Real Donation

  Marni picked up the mail and shuffled through it, separating the junk from the real thing. She let out an exhausted sigh. “So much waste,” she muttered as she turned on the shredder. Just then she noticed a postcard from a local charity. A driver would be in her neighborhood in a few days, and if she put a marked bag of her discards at the curb, he would pick them up.

  What a great service! Marni hated lugging unwanted items to the drop-off spot in town. Now she’d be spared that chore. The next morning she went through her clothes closet, the garage, and the kitchen, gathering up all the shoes, jackets, blouses, knickknacks, and kitchenware she no longer wanted or used. What a relief to declutter her house and, at the same time, help people in need. By the afternoon she had one large box ready to set at the curb and two large black bags, each one properly marked for the charity. When the truck arrived a few days later, Marni watched through the front window as the driver loaded her box and bags onto the truck. That was that. She felt good.

  Later in the week, Marni dressed for a luncheon she and a friend had agreed to attend. She chose her lavender skirt and matching sweater. She reached into her closet for her black pumps—the new ones she’d purchased on sale at the department store just weeks before. But they weren’t there. They weren’t at the door where she often left her shoes when she came in from outside. Maybe they were still in the store box… no, she remembered tossing the shoebox into the recycling bin. Marni combed the house, but the black pumps were gone.

  Then it hit her! She’d probably put them in with the items for the charity. Oh no! How could she have made such a mistake? She’d intended to give away her old pumps, not her new ones. She sank into a chair. What now? How embarrassing to call the charity office and ask to have them returned. Anyway, they were probably long gone to someone who recognized a great buy at the thrift shop. What a stupid mistake she’d made and what a loss. Marni sat for a few moments, thinking about what she’d done. Then suddenly it came to her. God was in this with her. He must have had a special person in mind for those shoes—someone who really needed a pair just that size. She might never find out who the person was, but she could be sure her new shoes were a blessing to someone. Thank you, God, for using me in a way I’d never have thought of on my own.

  Today’s Thoughts

  So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.

  MATTHEW 7:12

  Lord, please help me give to others from my abundance not merely from what I no longer want or need.

  Age-Old Challenges

  14

  Licensed to Age

  Pat visited her sister Liz, a resident of Lakeside Retirement Living. Everywhere Pat turned there were reminders of her season of life—gray-haired men, women walking with canes or walkers, emergency pull cords in each room in case of a fall or accident, chair exercise classes, a retirement community bus, a memory-care facility for those with dementia, and prunes on the breakfast buffet.”

  “Oh dear,” she mumbled to herself. “It’s that time of life. I never thought I’d actually reach this stage, but here I am. I’m glad to be a visitor, though, and not a resident—at least not yet.”

  The day after Pat arrived for the weekend she took a long walk on her own. She needed to reassure herself that she could still get around without assistance. She also needed a dose of sunshine and blue sky to keep her from getting down about getting older. As she rounded a corner on her way back to her sister’s apartment, she spotted a car with a personalized license plate that read: UR2OLD.

  “Excuse me!” Pat said louder than she expected. But her ire was up. “Talk about yourself, you oldster!” she barked at the anonymous person who owned the car. “Don’t judge me.”

  Pat then took a breath and calmed down, mentally editing the letters on the plate to suit herself: UROLD2. If that were her license plate, she’d make a point of parking right next to UR2OLD!

  Today’s Thoughts

  This God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.

  PSALM 48:14

  Thank you, Lord, that age is of no importance to you. I am ageless in your sight. What matters is the state of my soul. May I always walk in your light.

  15

  My Way or the Highway

  Les and Jan enjoy a good wrestling match on TV, but when they resort to wrestling with each other they’re not so compatible. In fact, according to Jan, they can get into it over the most trivial issues.

  One day they argued about what was the best route to take from their home to their friends’ home. The Raymonds lived about twenty minutes away by car. Jan shared, “Les insisted on going the longer way, which adds three to five minutes, depending on traffic conditions.” But then Jan admitted their ongoing conflict is less about the route than it is about her idea of what saves time. “His route has stop signs but mine has signals.”

  Jan confesses to being a risk-taker. “I’m less law-abiding than my husband. In my opinion it’s okay to drive over the speed limit in order to race through a yellow light. I hate delays and dislike waiting even more. And what about stop signs? Although I know it’s the law to come to a full stop at an intersection, it hardly seems necessary when no one else is even close. ‘Brief’ stops seem equivalent to rushing through a yellow light to me.”

  Jan does admit that the route with stop signs is safer than the one with signal lights, where you have to guess whether to speed up or slow down because the light could change at any moment and you don’t want to be caught in the middle of the road. That would be a crash for sure.

  One day, Jan decided to test out her theory. She headed to the Raymonds’ house alone, choosing to take her husband’s way. “I wanted to clock it while I was behind the wheel to prove my point once and for all.” Because she wasn’t tensed up by gauging whether she’d make the lights like she would on her route, Jan found herself daydreaming a bit, suddenly unconcerned about time or speed. “I could see the tortoise and hare scenario playing out before my eyes. The slower way was definitely inching along at a more rapid pace than I’d realized when I was arguing my point with my husband.”

  And then she noticed his way went alongside the exquisite ocean too. “Had I really been so set on winning my argument and capturing a couple extra minutes that I’d missed the beautiful sea—a view few people get to enjoy while driving? Yes!”

  Jan returned home that day a bit chagrined. She apologized to her husband for being argumentative and admitted that the moments she “wasted” while going the longer way were priceless compared to the minutes she would have saved going her way.

  Today’s Thoughts

  The farmer knows just what to do for God has given him understanding.

  ISAIAH 28:26 NLT

  Thank you, Lord, that when I don’t know which way to turn, you point the way. And when I insist on my own way, I’m so glad you still love me and guide me back to your way.

  16

  Somewhere in the Middle

  Louise loved to take long, leisurely walks around the retirement complex where she lived. She was at the age of needing a bit of help though. She always carried her cell phone, but sometimes she forgot her key. It was a good thing the security guards had sets of master keys on their belts at all times. A guard would zip over in a moment when she called to say she was stranded in front of her door.

  Occasionally she felt a bit wobbly on her legs, so if she needed assistance taking a shower or dressing, she could call for help. And, of course, it was nice not to have to cook anymore… or clean… or water the lawn. All those chores were taken care of by various members of the staff.

  Louise also found it useful to wear an identification tag around her wrist with her name, cottage address, and her son’s phone number in case of emergency. Overall, she was now happy and satisfied that this was the place she needed to be. She could live out her remaining days in peace and contentment and enjoy the fellowship of her two neighbors. May
lived on the right, and June lived on the left.

  One day while out walking, Louise suddenly realized she’d forgotten to put on her ID tag. Oh well, I’m not going far. I’ll just take a short stroll today, she decided. As she was walking, an older man with a huge black dog passed her on the sidewalk. The dog lunged at Louise, and she jumped back, fell down, and bumped her head. She didn’t black out, but she sure felt dizzy for a moment or two.

  “Oh, ma’am, I’m so sorry!” The gentleman with the dog gushed his apology as he stood by her side. “I don’t know what got into Blackie. He’s usually very compliant. Please let me help you.”

  Louise saw that his dog was sitting quietly now, so she took the man’s hand and got to her feet. “I’ll be all right. It was just a fright.”

  “Let me walk you home. I insist. What’s your address?”

  She hesitated.

  The man looked at her and then broke into a smile. “No worries, ma’am. I’m not a kidnapper. I just want to be sure you return to your cottage safely. Please give me your address.”

  By this time Louise was embarrassed. Finally she muttered, “I can’t think of the number, but I live between May and June in the retirement complex around the corner.” Oh dear, he must think I’m off my rocker! Louise laughed out loud at his funny look. “They’re my neighbors,” she clarified.

  “Ah,” the man said. “Since I don’t know where May and June live, let’s play it safe and stop at the administration office. Someone there will be able to help, I’m sure.”

  Today’s Thoughts

  Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

  PSALM 37:24

  I’m glad you’re looking out for me, dear God, or who knows what would become of me.

  17

  Nice Place to Be

  Dottie looked forward to her family’s visit each Sunday at the retirement complex she lived in. She attended church with them, and then they enjoyed Sunday brunch together, as well as a little visit in the rose garden. This was the highlight of her week.

  One Sunday, as Dottie and her family were having a bit of conversation, her friend Jane walked by with Nancy. Jane introduced Nancy to Dottie and the others. Nancy, the outgoing personality that she was, made small talk, commenting on the rose bushes and the color of Dottie’s blouse and skirt. She tickled the chin of the baby in Dottie’s daughter’s arms.

  “I’ll bet this is your great-grandchild,” purred Nancy. “How adorable.” She asked the girl’s name and then continued adding her two-cents worth to the conversation. Jane elbowed her friend, signaling her to move on, but Nancy didn’t take the hint. Finally Jane interrupted and announced that lunch would soon be served so they’d better get moving.

  With that Nancy plopped down on the bench beside Dottie and took her small hands in her own. “So nice to meet you, Dottie, and your dear family. I bet your son and daughter-in-law love knowing you are here, safe and sound—the same way I feel about Jane.” Nancy gestured to the flowers and trees and stone work in the garden. “This seems to me the perfect place to be this side of heaven.”

  “Don’t push it,” Dottie announced. “I’m in no rush to get to heaven. As for this being a nice place to be—well, okay, I’ll agree on that too—if I have to be in a place.”

  Today’s Thoughts

  This is what [Jesus] promised us—eternal life.

  1 JOHN 2:25

  Thank you, Lord, that you’ve gone before me and are preparing a place for me with you in heaven.

  18

  Choosing to Believe

  Marti phoned her friend Gretchen to congratulate her on her eighty-fifth birthday. Gretchen didn’t seem too happy about reaching that milestone.

  “I’d rather forget this day, if you don’t mind. Getting old is wearing on me, if you know what I mean. There’s one thing and then another to contend with—aching knees, tired eyes, sore toes, pinched nerves. You don’t want to head in this direction, Marti. There’s no going backward—that’s the problem.”

  Marti, being the positive thinking person she is, couldn’t take another earful of Gretchen’s negative response. Marti had only called to say “happy birthday” and invite her friend to lunch. But at this rate, she’d give the second part of her idea a second thought. Did she really want to sit down over a salad and listen to Gretchen recite her woes? On the other hand, poor Gretch is a widow now and unable to enjoy life as she once did. Maybe I’m being selfish. I’ll give her another chance.

  “Gretchen, have you heard the latest statistics regarding aging? They are really quite amazing. For example, the experts now say that women who are 60 today are actually more like age 50. So that means at age 85 you’re the new 75. How about that? You just bought yourself 10 more years. Congratulations!”

  “Don’t you believe a word of it!” Gretchen shot back. “Somebody’s lying to you. When you reach 85 you’ll know what I’m talking about.” And with that she said goodbye and hung up.

  Marti wouldn’t be discouraged that easily. She looked in the mirror and smiled. “Congratulations to me!” she said to her reflection. “When you turn 63 next week you’ll be the new 53. Even if it’s a lie, I choose to believe it.”

  Today’s Thoughts

  Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.

  ISAIAH 46:4

  I may count my life in years, but by your grace, O Lord, I am as young as I feel. Thank you for giving me life.

  19

  New to Eighty

  Sally developed some health concerns following her eightieth birthday. She made an appointment with her doctor, and afterward he scheduled a variety of tests to see what was going on. Two weeks later she returned to his office to review the results.

  Doctor Ames studied her file. “How old are you?”

  “Eighty,” Sally said proudly. “In case you don’t know, I’m a dedicated and involved grandmother. I lead an active life, including holding a part-time job. In fact, I’ve held my position as a receptionist for the last 30 years.”

  The doctor looked at her again—more intently this time. “How old did you say you are?”

  “Eighty.” She winked. “I hope you find that hard to believe.”

  “I do find it hard. You don’t look 80. You look amazing—I mean, you look very healthy.”

  Sally smiled. “Well, being 80 is a new experience. I’ve only been this age for a few days.”

  Doctor Ames chuckled and closed Sally’s file. “I’m happy to report there is no cause for alarm. You don’t have anything to worry about. Aches and pains are age-related and, as you said, ‘Being 80 is a new experience.’ Happy belated birthday. Come see me again in six months, and we’ll see how you’re doing with being 80.”

  Today’s Thoughts

  Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning.

  JOB 11:17

  Thank you, Lord, that even in the late years of my life I can triumph over darkness with the light of your love and grace.

  20

  Not So Easy

  Lucille pulled up to the curb in front of Janet’s house. It had become their custom to go to church together each Sunday morning. Lucille admired her friend’s stamina at age 79. She thought Janet had managed to hang on to her looks, as well. Janet had a lovely complexion, sparkling blue eyes, and a crown of softly curled white hair. In addition, she dressed appropriately for her age. She knew just what parts of her body to conceal and which ones to reveal, which were fewer with each advancing year, as she often admitted.

  This particular morning Janet walked out of her home and down the three porch steps on her way to Lucille’s car. Lucille noticed how especially pretty Janet appeared in a light-blue pantsuit that matched the color of her eyes. Her fingernails were beautifully manicured as well.

  As Janet slid into the passenger seat, Lucille took the opportunity to compliment her friend. “You look absolutely stunning today,” she said cheerily.


  “Thanks,” Janet replied. “It’s not so easy anymore.”

  “Well you make it look easy.” With that Lucille pulled into the street. The two friends chuckled a lot as they talked about the effort it took to keep up appearances when their bodies did everything they could to give the women a hard time.

  “We just have to fight back,” said Lucille.

  “I’m with you.” Janet pulled out a coupon she’d received from a local spa—a two-for-one price for an entire day’s indulgence, including a massage, a facial, and time in the sauna.

  The women gave each other high fives and agreed to sign up the very next day.

  Today’s Thoughts

  Walk in obedience to all that the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days.

  DEUTERONOMY 5:33

  Dear God, I welcome the coming years regardless of what they bring because through it all you lead the way.

  21

  What Day Is It?

  Chuck was convinced he was getting old. No question about it. Half the time lately he didn’t know what day it was. Monday to Friday seemed to race by with no particular difference between one day and the next.

  When he’d been a workingman, it was easy to know which day was which. Mondays were laundry days at his house. His wife, Grace, had the washing machine and dryer spinning all day and part of the evening.

  Tuesdays were his lunch dates with the guys in his shop.

  On Wednesdays Chuck and Grace hosted an evening Bible study and potluck dinner.

  Thursdays were date nights. He and Grace enjoyed their weekly pizza at Hal’s, followed by ice cream cones.

  And Fridays, well they signaled the end of the workweek, so Chuck never had a problem remembering those days.