My Favorite Senior Moments

by Karen O'Connor

  Tom pulled out a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiped his eyes. “Thank you so much. I’ll be ready bright and early Monday morning!”

  “Our pleasure, Dad,” Rich said. “It’s your turn to get to depend on us just like we depended on you 25 years ago when you took us hiking.”

  Today’s Thoughts

  All the believers…broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God.

  ACTS 2:44,46-47

  O Lord, thank you for my family and friends. They make life so interesting. Help me to share your love and care with them. Give me opportunities to talk about you.

  30

  Weather Rewind

  Donna and Jack were high school sweethearts. They’ve now been married some 48 years and enjoy a full life. Jack likes to work long hours, and Donna is a writer and speaker, so they don’t have a lot of free time for one another. They do enjoy each other’s company when they get together though.

  Like many older couples, they like to watch a good movie in the evening after dinner. Staying awake till the end is another matter. After working hard all day, it’s pretty common for one or both to nod off and lose track of the plot.

  One Thursday evening they sat down to watch a fast-paced action thriller. Midway through the film Jack sat up in his recliner. “Donna, do you know what just happened?”

  Donna yawned. “I don’t have a clue. Go ahead and rewind it. I’ll pay more attention this time.”

  By the end of the movie they looked at each other with puzzled expressions. They still didn’t have a clue what the plot was.

  “What was that about?” Jack asked.

  “I can’t say,” Donna said, shaking her head. “Rewind.”

  After the second go-round, Jack switched channels to the local weather.

  Donna shook her head. “What did he just say? I missed it.”

  Jack looked at his wife with a grin. “It’s pretty sad when we even have to rewind the weather!”

  Today’s Thoughts

  When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

  PROVERBS 3:24

  Lord, it’s good to know that you’re with me day and night, whether I’m awake or asleep. Your everlasting arms are always around me.

  31

  Window Shopping

  One Saturday morning Barney set out to do some repairs around the house and garage. He’d put them off for too long. He made a list and checked it twice. Then he ran it by his wife, Lola. Lola was not one for leaving Barney in charge. He was bound to forget something important, she was sure.

  Barney knew Lola enjoyed reminding him in no uncertain terms of what he’d forgotten. He backed out of the driveway, list in hand, and blew a kiss to his wife.

  She threw one back and waved. “Have fun and don’t spend too much,” she shouted—the same advice she’d given him for the past 40 years.

  Barney scratched his head. How can a man have fun and, at the same time, not spend too much? Buying stuff was one of his few pleasures in these later years. He loved gizmos and gadgets.

  Lola did have one weakness. She liked to be surprised every now and then with a bunch of daisies or a bottle of sparkling grape juice. He decided he’d give that some thought while he was in town. It was always good to keep the little woman on his side.

  Barney roamed the aisles of Dunton’s Hardware and then strolled through O’Reilly’s Auto Parts store. There was always something new and exciting to look at… and buy. But today he had to get down to business and get supplies to repair the broken shutter. He was also going to replace the garage window he’d cracked when he knocked the rake against it last spring. Lola would be so pleased when she could cross this chore off her honey-do list. Barney returned home with the glass and tools he needed.

  When he walked into the house, Lola greeted him with a hug and kiss and a twinkle in her eye. “How did it go?” she asked.

  Is she hinting at something? Barney wondered. He couldn’t read her mind, and he wished she’d just speak up. He did feel a vague sense that he’d left something out. Suddenly he remembered he’d forgotten to pick up the bottle of juice and the bunch of flowers. He hit his forehead with a palm. Rats!

  He looked up. Lola was waiting for an answer. “It went fine,” Barney said. “I know you’ll be happy to hear that I did a little window shopping.”

  “Window shopping for two hours?”

  “Yep! Window shopping. I bought a new piece of glass to replace the garage window.” That ought to bring a smile, he thought.

  “Anything else?” she asked.

  Barney saw the hopeful look in her eyes. He did some quick thinking. “Nothing you need to know about… yet.”

  Lola threw her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek.

  Barney hugged her back and then headed out to the garage. First things first! He whipped out his phone and called Beacon Dinner House. He made reservations for two. This might even lead to a sweet kiss! he decided. Now he was in the mood to fix that window.

  Today’s Thoughts

  My chosen ones will long enjoy the works of their hands.

  ISAIAH 65:22

  Lord, thank you for giving me the time and skills to maintain my home and my relationships.

  32

  Turtle Race

  Minnie wanted to liven things up a bit at Meadowbrook Senior Living where she’d recently moved. She loved the array of activities to choose from to fill her days, but they were too tame. Croquet? Bridge? Flower arranging? Pul-eeze! There had to be more available than those ordinary pastimes. She wanted to join hiking and running groups, but at 86 she knew those days were over. Still, she was committed to staying active. Minnie decided to organize a day of sports for the residents—offering a variety of suitable activities.

  She came up with a plan and presented it to Miss Marston, the recreation manager, for consideration. Minnie’s suggestions included exercises that everyone could participate in—even those who relied on wheelchairs and walkers.

  Miss Marston looked over the well-written proposal and was about to give her stamp of approval when she noticed something called “Turtle Race.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “This is one activity that will have to go. We can’t have live turtles running around our recreation room. Let’s come up with an alternative.”

  Minnie pushed back with logic of her own. “But, Miss Marston, we can’t eliminate that one. I think it will be one of the highlights. People will love it. And we’ll have prizes for the winners.”

  “I’m afraid not.” Miss Marston was adamant. “No turtles, and that’s that. I’m sorry.”

  Minnie wouldn’t take no for an answer. She admitted with a smile, “Okay, I have a confession. The kind of turtles I’m talking about are no trouble at all.” A sheepish grin crossed her face. “I’m proposing a walking people race. People walking at a turtle’s pace. The residents will do the racing, and the first and last ones will win pet turtles.”

  Today’s Thoughts

  “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

  HEBREWS 12:13

  I may not be able to run as fast as I once did, but you make my paths straight, Lord. You strengthen my legs so that I won’t be set aside in the race for your kingdom.

  33

  Front to Back

  The Roberts clan gathered for a backyard barbecue to honor Grandpa Lou on his birthday. Lou’s wife, Rosemarie, was very excited about donning her brand-new, white Capri pants and coral-colored top, which she’d bought for the occasion. She wanted to show off her new figure after losing a few pounds.

  She pulled on the pants and slipped the long top over her head, pulling it snugly around her hips. Then she touched up her makeup and hair. She was ready when the family arrived. While walking back and forth from the kitchen to the yard, she felt the pants tug. That’s a bit odd, she thought. Sitting was also uncomfortable, but still, it was a small price to pay for the wonderful way
she felt without the extra five pounds she’d been trying to shed for so long. Maybe she’d picked up the wrong size of pants by mistake. She’d handle it on Monday. Now was the time to enter into the spirit of the birthday celebration! After the meal, Rosemarie went into the guest bathroom to loosen her pants a bit after that extra helping of barbecued ribs. She discovered to her surprise that she’d put the pants on backward! The back patch pockets were in the front. Good thing the pants had an elastic waistband!

  Before switching them around, she decided to give everyone a good laugh. She walked into the kitchen where the family had gathered to clean up and showed them what she’d done. Everyone laughed and congratulated her on being willing to admit her mistake.

  Six-year-old Benny, however, stole the spotlight from his grandmother. “As long as your head is screwed on the right way, Grandma. That’s all that matters at your age.”

  Today’s Thoughts

  They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green.

  PSALM 92:14

  Yes, Lord, I want to continue to bear fruit! Help me keep my mind steady and alert. Let me retain my sense of humor even when people have a bit of fun at my expense.

  34

  Duck Hunting

  Rudy and his dad, Will, took to the woods for a day of duck hunting. They had a high old time chasing the ducks, stopping for lunch by a stream, and then taking up their sport again. When they reached the legal limit of ducks taken, they headed back to Rudy’s truck.

  The trek involved crossing a stream, so Rudy led the way. Both men were wearing their chest-high waders so they could stay dry. Rudy turned at one point to check on his dad—to make sure he was okay and keeping pace. But all he saw were two hands straight up in the air—one clutching the pouch with the ducks (protecting them from getting wet?) and the other holding his shotgun. Then the rest of his dad surfaced. He’d evidently slipped on the river rocks. Rudy rushed back to his dad.

  Will stood up and said he was fine.

  They had a good laugh over the fact that Will was so intent on protecting his catch and his weapon that he’d never given a thought about trying to cushion his fall to the river bottom. Thankfully he wasn’t hurt.

  The two men then drove home to tell the womenfolk.

  Today’s Thoughts

  Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light.

  MICAH 7:8

  Dear God, I don’t own a gun and I don’t hunt, but I can relate to this story because sometimes I am so intent on holding on to what’s unimportant that I neglect to pay attention to what is.

  35

  Fire!

  Susan looked forward to a little romance with her new husband, Fred. She’d been a widow for 10 years, so she considered having a spouse after so long a special gift from God. The couple had been married a month, and Susan wanted to mark the occasion with a lovely dinner, beautiful music on the stereo, and an intimate evening sitting in front of the fireplace in their new townhouse.

  That evening Fred walked in with a bouquet of flowers and a big “Happy Anniversary” balloon. The couple hugged and kissed, and then Susan led her husband to the table decorated with ribbons, candles, and their best china.

  Over dinner they enjoyed reminiscing about the day they’d met while sailing on San Diego Bay with a seniors group. Fred took Susan’s hand. “The moment I saw you my breath caught. I knew I had to get to know you better.”

  Susan’s face warmed. “I felt the same way. I could tell just looking at you that you were a kind and gentle man—someone I’d been waiting for.”

  They finished their dinner and carried the apple tarts for dessert over to the sofa in front of the fireplace. Susan poured coffee, and Fred settled back against a flowered pillow. A box of firewood Susan had purchased at the store sat on the platform to the side of the fireplace. Susan opened the screen to place a log on top of the grate, but she was suddenly aware of a glass plate blocking off the fireplace interior. “I don’t understand,” she said, looking to Fred. “I’ve never seen a fireplace like this. What’s the secret formula for opening this door to build a fire?”

  “No formula,” he said, grinning. “See that button on the wall? Press it.”

  Susan did so, and suddenly the logs on the grate burst into flames! She stepped back and stared at the fire.

  “It’s a gas fireplace,” Fred announced. “The logs are fake. Isn’t that cool… or rather hot? No need for firewood or matches, and no ashes to clean up!”

  Susan looked at the box of logs she’d bought. “How embarrassing!” she said. “I didn’t realize… ”

  “No problem,” Fred said, interrupting her. He took his wife’s hand. “I don’t need wood, or matches, or logs, or twigs, or anything else to keep me warm. You light my fire!”

  Today’s Thoughts

  Love one another deeply, from the heart.

  1 PETER 1:22

  Lord, may my love for others follow your lead of first loving me. You are my example and inspiration.

  36

  Still Alive and Kickin’

  Sam pulled out his camping gear from some years ago. His tent was still in good condition. He had a mattress and sleeping bag, a lantern, a canteen, and a small stove, along with accessories for cooking. A quick trip to the grocery store, and he’d be all set. Now all he needed was a buddy to accompany him.

  He called Russ. “What do you say, Russ? Want to go camping for a few days at Lake Dorothy? It’s not too far, and the weather there is about perfect this time of year. I have a tent that’ll hold the two of us. What can go wrong?”

  “Everything!” Russ said pessimistically. “I’m not sure I have roughing it in me anymore.”

  “What do you mean?” Sam asked, his disappointment evident. The two had camped, and hiked, and rock-climbed together for decades. Why the sudden hesitancy? he wondered.

  “What if we’re swarmed by ants or a snake attacks?” Russ asked.

  “You’ve seen snakes. What’s the big deal?”

  “A rainstorm could take out the tent. Then what would we do?”

  “We’d pack up and go to a motel or drive home.”

  “Mosquitoes. I’m allergic to insect bites.”

  “Bring repellant—no problem,” Sam countered.

  “I’m not sure I can handle camp food at this age.”

  “Then bring the real thing, and we’ll cook to your specifications.”

  “I’m not as agile as I once was. I might slip and fall—and die on the spot.”

  “Sure, but that could happen at the grocery store.” Sam had had enough of Russ’ negativity. “Look, friend,” he said, making his case one last time, “you either say yes or no. That’s it. Anything can happen at any time. You are going to die one day. Who cares where?”

  Russ laughed. “Well, okay, when you put it that way, I might as well say yes. But I’m going to update my will before we go.”

  “Be sure to include me!” Sam grinned, and his voice revealed his good humor. “I’ll be the one who has to carry you home if you die on the trail.”

  Today’s Thoughts

  Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.

  MATTHEW 10:28

  Lord, isn’t it interesting and even humorous the way people worry about this and that when the truth is that if we walk with you we are protected in every way? I’m thankful that you will call me to my heavenly home at just the right time—your time.

  Aren’t They Grand?

  37

  It’s Not What It Looks Like

  Grandma Dee had a good heart and a strong commitment to keeping the community clean and presentable. She took a long walk every day armed with a trash bag so she could pick up stray cans, bits of paper, and empty bottles people tossed aside or the wind blew in. Sometimes she invited a neighbor to join her. Two are better than one, she believed. They could collect twice as much trash, as well. One day Grandma Dee knocked on Trisha’s door and invited her to join her on a walk. “
Think you can keep up?” she teased. “I move pretty fast for an old lady.”

  “I’ll give it a try, but have pity on a 40-year-old,” Trisha teased back. “Keep checking on me just in case I drop behind.”

  Grandma Dee wasn’t too far off the mark when she challenged Trisha, who later admitted she returned from the adventure tired and breathless. The pace and the weight of the clutter she’d collected in her trash bag during the three-mile walk wore her out.

  Trisha and Grandma pushed through the gate to Trisha’s backyard. Jay, Trisha’s teenaged son, met them and offered to lend a hand. He eyed the bags overflowing with empty beer cans, empty candy wrappers, and empty cigarette cartons. He raised an eyebrow. “Did you two have a good time?”

  Today’s Thoughts

  If they obey and serve [God], they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment.

  JOB 36:11

  A little humor goes a long way when I’m tired and cranky. Thank you, God, for perspective and guidance.

  38

  Who’s Older?

  Jean, her daughter Cindy, and her four-year-old granddaughter, Heather, walked into the clothing store in town. Jean was going to buy a new dress for a dinner dance. Because she hadn’t purchased a fancy outfit in years, she wanted Cindy’s input on what to choose. Jean and her husband, Phil, lived in the country so they spent most of their time farming and caring for their animals.

  “Look at this one, Grandma!” called Heather as she fingered the lace and sequins on a long, black number.

  Jean took a closer look but shook her head. “Thanks, honey, but I think I’m a bit too old for that style. My arms aren’t the greatest anymore. I need a dress with sleeves to cover my wrinkles. I don’t think a slit up the skirt is right for me either. I wouldn’t want the veins on my legs to show.” She touched the dress and sighed. “There was a time, though, when I could have worn such a dress.” Jean nodded in her daughter’s direction. “It would look great on your mom. She still has pretty arms and legs.”