My Favorite Senior Moments

by Karen O'Connor

  Today’s Thoughts

  Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

  ECCLESIASTES 7:9

  I’m happy, dear Lord, that you keep me from blowing my top when I disagree with people. May I speak words of peace and understanding in every situation.

  48

  A Happy Surprise

  Marion and her neighbor Ginger check up on each other and their husbands every day by email to be sure everyone’s okay. Marion sends Ginger a message each evening, and Ginger responds first thing the following morning. If neither hears from the other, they check in person.

  One evening Marion closed her email to Ginger with an encouraging line: “May your day bring a happy surprise!” Then she went to bed and slept soundly.

  The following morning Ginger sent her usual email to Marion.

  Marion decided to make a dozen blueberry muffins—something she rarely did. While they were baking, she felt a nudge from God. She remembered that Ginger’s husband, Jim, was particularly fond of blueberry muffins. Marion phoned next door and asked if they’d like a few for breakfast.

  The couple was thrilled. Minutes later Marion trotted over to their house with a basket of warm muffins right out of the oven. As she made her way back across the yard it suddenly hit her. “My gift of muffins was the happy surprise I wished for Ginger last night in my email message!” Marion chuckled, looked to the heavens, and sent God a mental high-five.

  Today’s Thoughts

  With long life I [the LORD] will satisfy him and show him my salvation.

  PSALM 91:16

  How blessed I am, dear Lord, that even if no one on earth looks out for me you always do. I praise your holy name!

  49

  Sweet Potatoes

  Cynthia walked into the Save-A-Lot Grocery Mart and was pleased to see sweet potatoes on sale at a good price. She knew they’d keep well through the winter, so she bought a whole bag. She took them home and stored them in a cool bedroom, along with some apples and oranges she’d purchased.

  She served the fruit in various recipes during the Christmas holidays, and planned to use the sweet potatoes for Christmas dinner. But because her daughter brought a sweet potato dish to that meal, Cynthia put her sweet potatoes on hold, knowing they’d be fine for another few weeks.

  Following the holidays, Cynthia moved some of her furniture around, swapping certain pieces from one room to another. Months went by and Cynthia decided one night to bake a sweet potato as part of her supper. She looked for the bag of potatoes in the bedroom where she was sure she’d put them. They were nowhere in sight. Then she remembered she’d moved things around, so maybe they were hiding somewhere. She let out a sigh and set out on a mission to find the missing potatoes. Perhaps they were in another room now, but which one? The garage or even the storage unit were possibilities. Cynthia phoned her daughter to see if she’d seen them when she was visiting over the Christmas weekend.

  Madeline said no, but she was amused at the situation and wished her mom luck in locating them. Her daughter assured Cynthia that by this time the “fragrance” of the potatoes should lead her to them.

  Cynthia continued her search for another few days without success. “I said a prayer, asking the Lord to help me find the misplaced sweet potatoes,” Cynthia admitted. Months passed and at Easter the following year, Cynthia’s son and his wife were coming for dinner. Her daughter-in-law called ahead to ask if she could make sweet potatoes to go with the ham Cynthia planned to serve. Then she told her mother-in-law that a bag of sweet potatoes had mysteriously popped up at their house. She and her husband were sure they’d never bought them.

  Cynthia burst out laughing. “Apparently my son grabbed the bag of sweet potatoes along with my Christmas gifts to his family when they left for home! And then they got misplaced at their house too. Mystery solved! Thank you, God.”

  Today’s Thoughts

  Put your hope in God.

  PSALM 42:11

  This story makes me smile, Lord. I’ve done so many silly things too, including misplacing a pair of earrings, a summer hat, and a bag of cherries I was sure I’d brought home from the grocery store. But when I put my hope in you, dear God, you get right to it and solve my problem. Thank you for taking such good care of me.

  50

  Trying to Be Helpful

  Zach and Ellen plopped down on the two remaining seats near the boarding gate for their flight to New Zealand. They were bushed! They’d been up half the night packing and making sure they had all the documents and currency they needed. Boarding passes, passports, driver’s licenses, itinerary, traveler’s checks, and some cash. Then there were medications, vitamins, sleep aids, socks in case their feet got cold, extra jackets for cool evenings, and some playing cards and snacks for the long flight.

  Finally, they’d fallen asleep at midnight and were startled when the alarm clock sounded at 4:30 AM—giving them a few moments to eat a bite, splash a bit of water on their faces, and pack up the remaining items before calling a taxi for the airport.

  Finally they had time to take a breath and rest before the boarding call. “I could use a cup of strong coffee about now,” Ellen muttered.

  Zach turned up his hearing aid. His wife never drank coffee, so why would she start now? He decided he must have heard her incorrectly. He wanted to help, so he stood up and wandered down the aisle of vendors.

  He stopped in a candy store and found what he was sure Ellen would love. After paying for it, he headed back to the gate. Before sitting down, he handed his purchase to her. “Here you go, love. Enjoy, but don’t eat too many or they might upset your tummy this early in the morning.”

  Ellen frowned. “What are you talking about?” She took the box from her husband’s hand, read the description, and burst out laughing. A Cup of Toffee! She opened the package and, sure enough, there was a coffee cup crammed with individual pieces of toffee candy. She looked at her husband and shook her head.

  “I asked the clerk, and she said this was as strong as it comes. I hope it’ll be all right.”

  Ellen plucked a candy from the cup, unwrapped it, and popped it into her mouth. “Perfect,” she said. Then she offered one to her husband. Life is certainly a new adventure after your mate starts wearing hearing aids, she decided.

  Today’s Thoughts

  A gentle answer turns away wrath.

  PROVERBS 15:1

  Thank you, Lord, for reminding me to be gracious and patient when things turn out differently than I’d hoped, or planned, or asked for.

  51

  With and Without

  Jackie and Kel, now in their sixties, decided to run a half marathon—21 kilometers (21k). It seemed like a good idea at the time, but when it came down to training, well that was another matter. It was much more fun to talk about than to do it, even though both had been following exercise regimes most of their adult lives. Still—competitive running had not been part of their routine.

  At their ages, tight thighs, smooth calves, beautiful biceps, and slim waists were things of the past. Or were they? Maybe, just maybe, they could recapture some of their enviable physical traits—if they got serious about what they had to do to compete. The two friends headed for the gym.

  Jackie pumped iron while Kel jogged on the treadmill. Then they challenged themselves to four times up and down the steep staircase. By the time they finished, they were ready for naps or pieces of pie or both! Instead, they took hot showers, dressed for the day, and walked toward the front door.

  Kel looked at Jackie. “How about we celebrate our decision to run the 10k with a cup of soup at Dena’s Deli?”

  Jackie laughed and nodded, but added, “Without the bread and butter.”

  “And with a slice of pie for dessert,” Jackie said.

  “But without the ice cream,” Kel said, agreeing to the plan.

  “And with a cup of tea,” Jackie added.

  “But without a lump of sugar.”

 
Jackie’s face drooped. “Sounds dreadful!”

  “I agree,” said Kel. “Easy fix. Let’s drop the withouts and you’re on.”

  The pair locked arms and skipped out to the parking lot with a lot of enthusiasm but without discipline.

  Today’s Thoughts

  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

  HEBREWS 12:11

  Lord, I see myself in this story. I have good intentions, but I don’t always follow through. Help me keep my word to you, to others, and to myself.

  52

  Not So Bad After All

  Patsy woke up with a hot, sore, swollen throat. She staggered into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. Where are those lozenges? she questioned, knowing she’d bought a fresh package not long ago in case she caught a cold or the flu. They were her favorite flavor––orange––and had just the right amount of sweetening to make them bearable when her throat was as sore as it felt today.

  She poured herself a glass of warm water and padded down the hall to the kitchen. She’d just have to make due gargling with saltwater. That was her dad’s remedy every time she complained of a sore throat when she was a kid. Patsy shook her head at just the thought of salty water touching the blazing flesh in her throat. But if it worked for her father, she figured it would work for her too.

  Patsy reached into the pantry and pulled out a bag filled with crystals. She poured a half teaspoonful into her glass and stirred. Then she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and took in a mouthful to swish at the back of her throat. Even before she tasted it, she thought, Ugh! Then she had a surprising revelation! The concoction didn’t taste as bad as she’d expected. It didn’t burn at all. In fact, it felt cool on her delicate throat. She opened her eyes and decided to repeat the process. When she reached for the bag on the counter, she realized she’d taken out a container of sugar! No wonder it didn’t burn. Patsy chuckled and decided this particular senior moment was actually a good one.

  Today’s Thoughts

  Heal me, LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.

  JEREMIAH 17:14

  Lord, I do the silliest things sometimes. As I get older, I’m finding I’m less apt to get mad at myself because I know you will set me straight. I’m glad you’re with me night and day and will warn me if I start to do something dangerous. Thank you for that.

  Foodies

  53

  Under a Tack!

  Eighty-two-year-old Maura and her daughter Penny walked into their favorite restaurant. Maura could hardly wait to order her regular meal—Mexican Chicken Salad. The waiter greeted them warmly and started them off with ice water, tortilla chips, and salsa. The women chatted and laughed as they exchanged news before the server came and took their salad orders. They hadn’t been together for a couple of months, so there was much to talk about.

  Penny filled in details about her high-school-aged children, and Maura brought her daughter up to speed about all that was going on at Hillside Senior Living.

  The salads arrived and Maura dug in eagerly, munching away on the corn strips and lettuce. A moment later she gasped and put her fingers into her mouth.

  Penny immediately reached across the table and touched her arm. “Mom, what is it? You’re as white as snow.”

  Maura pulled out a bright yellow tack and held it up for her daughter to see.

  Just then the waiter came by to check on them.

  “How did this get into my salad?” Maura asked.

  “Oh my goodness!” the waiter said between gasps. “That tack was in your salad? It must have fallen off the bulletin board in the back.” With that he turned and raced back to the kitchen. A moment later the restaurant manager arrived at the table, gushing an apology.

  “Madam, I am so sorry. Let me make it up to you.” With that he handed Maura a gift card for a free meal the next time she visited the restaurant.

  Not really hurt, Maura enjoyed the attention. Now she likes sharing her story, telling how she was “under a tack” that day at the restaurant. She recommends everyone order “a salad with tacks” because it comes with a free lunch.

  Today’s Thoughts

  Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.

  PROVERBS 3:27

  Lord, this incident was amusing—but also kind of scary. I’m grateful you kept Maura safe. Thank you for watching over me too.

  54

  Awful Waffles

  Henry loved waffles for breakfast more than oatmeal, scrambled eggs, or Cheerios. His wife, Edna, tried to interest him in something different—just to mix things up a bit, but he’d always say, “No, thanks. Waffles it is.” When she set the plate of fluffy cakes in front of him, he got right to it. First, he slathered each one with butter and then filled each little square with just the right drops of pure maple syrup. After that step he dusted each one with powdered sugar that he’d carefully sifted prior to sitting down at the table.

  This ritual became very annoying to Edna. Just once in their 40 years of marriage she’d have enjoyed doing something different—like going out to breakfast or trying a daring new recipe. But Henry didn’t budge. So one day Edna took matters into her own hands.

  Henry came down to breakfast on a Monday morning and asked his usual question: “What’s on the griddle? Those awesome waffles of yours?” Then he slapped his knee and laughed as though they’d never had this exchange before.

  Edna murmured, “I’m not so sure about awesome. I’d say awful.” Then she relented and made the waffles her husband loved so much. She handed them to him already bathed in butter, maple syrup, and powdered sugar. Only something happened that particular morning that changed everything. By mistake, Edna had grabbed and used a bottle of soy sauce instead of pure maple syrup!

  Henry took one bite and exclaimed, “All right, Edna. You win! These waffles are awful.”

  Edna looked at him quizzically. “What do you mean?” Then she realized the mistake she’d made with the syrup. She apologized.

  “Let’s go out for breakfast—to the Waffle House,” Henry said.

  Edna quickly grabbed her jacket before he changed his mind!

  Today’s Thoughts

  The righteous eat to their hearts’ content.

  PROVERBS 13:25

  Lord, thank you for providing abundance in every way—food, clothing, shelter, caring family and friends, and, most of all, your eternal love and compassion.

  55

  A Plateful of Love

  Emily stepped up to the chef’s table in the upscale dining room and admired the beautiful food spread. She could order eggs cooked in any form––with trimmings to boot. An omelet with tomatoes and cheese and olives and mushrooms and bacon sounded fabulous. She never prepared such intricate delicacies at home. Why not give in and have the works?

  But then she thought better of the idea. She’d vowed before setting foot on the cruise ship that she would not overindulge. There was more to a cruise than food. Or was there? “You only live once,” she chided herself softly.

  Then she noticed a phrase on the menu board that was new to her: Huevos Ahogados. “All right,” she decided. “I’ll give it a go.”

  She ordered the dish and returned to her table with her order number. A waiter would bring her the food as soon as it was ready.

  Minutes later a young man balancing a tray of breakfast treats stopped at her table. “One order of Huevos Ahogados,” he said.

  “Right here,” Emily said, raising her hand slightly. “Thank you,” she said as the waiter slid the hot plate in front of her. “I’m curious,” she said, eyeing the eggs covered in a semi-thin salsa. “What do the words Huevos Ahogados mean?”

  “Drowned eggs,” the waiter replied.

  Emily flinched. “Drowned? What a peculiar word for such an attractive dish.”

  “D
rowned with love,” he added.

  “Mmmm, that’s my kind of cooking!” And with that Emily picked up her fork and dug into her plateful of love.

  Today’s Thoughts

  You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the LORD your God.

  JOEL 2:26

  It’s fun to try new dishes and to enjoy the plenty you provide, Lord. Thank you for always giving me what I need.

  56

  Iced Water

  Daniel sat down at his assigned table in the dining room of Mission Hills Senior Living. He looked at his tablemates and smiled. What would they be up to today? Every meal seemed to bring up a new issue—whether a spill, or a mistake in food choice, or a misspoken word that caused hurt feelings in another. He vowed to keep a low profile himself. He didn’t need any more to handle. Being old was enough!

  Just then Jason, their waiter, came by and took beverage orders. The words “iced tea” echoed around the table. It seemed all four wanted the same drink. Good. Off to a fine start! Daniel thought.

  Each person ordered his or her lunch––soups and sandwiches or salads––and then sat quietly waiting to be served their food. Within minutes, Bill, the man with the long, white beard, piped up. “Where’s my iced tea?”

  “It’ll be here shortly,” Daniel asserted, trying to head off a showdown between Bill and Jason, something his table companion was likely to take on if he didn’t get his way when he wanted it. Minutes passed and lunch was served. Still no iced tea for anyone. Now Daniel was getting hot under the collar. He spoke to the waiter the next time he passed by the table, water pitcher in hand. “We each ordered a glass of iced tea.”

  “And we’ve been waiting quite a long time now,” said Emily, the woman on Daniel’s left.

  “Sorry about that. I’ll get right on it.” The waiter disappeared, but soon returned with a bucket of ice cubes and a pitcher of water. He dropped a few cubes into each of the four glasses, plopped a tea bag on top of the ice in each glass, and then covered that with cold water. “Enjoy!” And with that he sailed away to the kitchen.