My Favorite Senior Moments

by Karen O'Connor

  Phyllis returned the message. “I’m sad. The earrings were a gift from my good friend Virginia. I’ll have to explain it to her because she’ll probably wonder what happened when I never wear them in front of her. I don’t want her to think I’m unappreciative.”

  Irene agreed it was an unfortunate situation. After they hung up, Irene thought, Maybe it fell out of Phyllis’ ear when she turned her head, or nodded in a conversation, or leaned against the headrest in the car. That could be it! I’ll check my car. Irene hurried out to the garage and searched every inch of the front and back, including under and around the seats. She even used a flashlight to make sure she didn’t miss anything. The earrings were black, so one would be easy to overlook. Once again, no luck.

  Two months later, Irene and her husband were preparing for a weekend trip. Irene pulled out their luggage from the guest closet. She noticed a tiny object on the floor of the closet. It was so small she figured it was a dead bug snuggled against the back wall. She got a tissue and bent down to pick it up and throw it in the trash. But it wasn’t an insect. It was her sister’s missing black earring. Irene was overjoyed. She could hardly wait to call her sister and report the good news.

  “Phyllis,” she almost shouted into the phone, “you’ll never guess what I found!” And she proceeded to tell her sister the details. But her sister didn’t seem as enthusiastic as she should’ve been.

  “Oh!” Phyllis finally said. “I just tossed out the matching earring this week since I had no hope of finding the missing one.”

  Irene let out a sigh, and then she got an idea. She’d buy Phyllis a new pair of black earrings for her birthday.

  Today’s Thoughts

  Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.

  PSALM 31:24

  God, even when I’m disappointed I have hope because of who I am in your Son, Christ Jesus. He’s the hope of us all. There is never a problem I can’t solve when I walk with him and listen to his guidance.

  90

  Watch It!

  “Ethel, what time is it? I can’t find my watch anywhere!” Ray shouted from the den as he sat behind the daily paper in his favorite easy chair.

  “What else is new?” his wife murmured. “If not the watch, it’s something else.” Ethel was getting increasingly annoyed with her husband’s absentminded behavior and his reliance on her to remember for him. At age 81, she had enough to keep track of in her own life. But misplacing a watch? Well, she’d never do such a thing. It was important to her to know what time it was, and there was no better way to track time than wearing a wristwatch.

  Ethel was in the bedroom changing the bedsheets. “It’s time to start looking for your lost watch, that’s what time it is!” she snapped.

  Her husband’s question sparked her curiosity about the time. She glanced at her wrist. No watch. Oh, for the love of Pete. Don’t tell me absentmindedness is contagious. She rummaged through her jewelry box and the top drawer of her dresser, but her watch wasn’t anywhere she could see. It didn’t make sense. She always took it off at night and placed it on top of her jewelry box so it would be easy to spot each morning. Come to think of it, she hadn’t worn it for a couple of days at least. Now what would she do? Would she have to confess to Ray that she too had misplaced a watch? Never!

  Ethel made up an excuse to go for a walk, but she didn’t need to bother because Ray had dropped the newspaper in his lap and fallen asleep. She’d be back before he woke up. An hour later Ethel tiptoed in the front door and took up where she left off—making up the bed in their master bedroom. As she shook out the top sheet something slipped to the floor. It was her lost wristwatch! Then it came back to her. She’d taken it off while doing the hand laundry so it wouldn’t get wet. She must have swept it up from the counter along with the clean sheets.

  Ethel slapped her forehead when she realized she’d just spent 50 dollars for a brand-new watch, which now she didn’t need. She would have to return it. But first she said a quick prayer of repentance for judging her husband’s behavior when she had the same problem. She also admitted her pride had gotten involved when she sneaked out to get a new watch so she wouldn’t have to ’fess up. Ah, the sting of pride going before a fall.

  Today’s Thoughts

  Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

  PROVERBS 16:18

  It’s so easy to judge others, Lord. It’s time for me to put down the microscope and pick up the mirror!

  91

  Close Call

  Katie had just about had it with her aging mother. She was losing one thing after another, and the costs of replacing the items were adding up. First a hairbrush, then a sweater, and now her hearing aids. The bean-sized gizmos cost nearly as much as a used car!

  “Mom, I know it’s getting more difficult to remember things,” Katie said. “But I want you to try. When you put something down, just put it out on a table or on the bed so I can see it. I’ll be glad to put it where it belongs so we can find it later.”

  Her mother nodded and lowered her head in shame.

  Katie felt terrible. She wasn’t so young herself, and her memory wasn’t the best either. Why was she landing on her mom who needed her support not her criticism? Katie put her arms around her mother, hugged her, and asked for her forgiveness.

  They sat down to dinner, and Katie did her best to make conversation. But it was no use. Her mother couldn’t hear a thing without her hearing aids.

  The following day Katie dropped everything she was doing when she heard a loud thud in the bathroom. She rushed through the door, and there was her mother on the floor on her backside. She’d tripped on a corner of a small bath mat. Fortunately she’d landed on the plush rug instead of on the hard tile. Katie’s heart pounded as she helped her mother up and into a chair. She checked for bruises and anything broken, but everything looked okay.

  “Mom, you’re going to be okay,” Katie reassured her, mouthing each word slowly so her mother could pick up what she was saying.

  When she returned to her desk in the den, Katie decided she needed to consider enrolling her mother in adult daycare so she could be safe during work hours. Later, Katie walked into the bedroom and plopped down on the bed for a few minutes to pull herself together. Something poked her bottom. She jumped up and there was a pair of glasses, the delicate frames now bent at an odd angle and one of the lenses loose.

  Mother! she shouted mentally. Will this never end!

  Katie picked up the glasses and marched into the living room to give her mother another lecture about misplacing her possessions. She held up the frames to make her point and suddenly realized they were her own specs. She backed out of the room quietly, grateful she hadn’t let her hasty remarks loose. “Like mother, like daughter,” she admitted and then burst out laughing. “I guess we’ll both be enrolling in adult daycare if I keep this up.”

  Today’s Thoughts

  The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

  GALATIANS 5:22-23

  Lord, I feel overwhelmed when I face conflict and forgetfulness in myself or others. Thank you for your grace and mercy. Help me share those traits with others.

  92

  Double Trouble

  Harriet was so nervous she was certain she’d fall apart. Her neighbor Jim had invited her on a date. She hadn’t been out with a man for half-a-century—and even back then she certainly wasn’t much for the nightlife. What am I supposed to do? What should I order for dinner? I’m not sure what to talk about. She worried herself with questions to the point that she was ready to call the whole thing off.

  But then she got hold of herself and decided an evening out with a nice gentleman who was also a friend might be fun. There really wasn’t anything to be concerned about. She, Jim, and his late wife had lived next door to one another for more than ten years. Now that Jim was a widow, he was probably lonely and simply wanted some companion
ship.

  Harriet dressed, fixed her hair, and put on a little makeup. She looked in the mirror, turning this way and that. She decided she was still attractive. Her confidence rose. An hour later, she heard a knock at the door. She peeked through the peephole. Sure enough, it was Jim. She opened the door and there stood two men—Jim and a stranger. Her knees weakened and her heart pounded.

  “What’s up?” she asked, aware that her voice was shaking.

  “This is my brother Dick,” said Jim, clapping the man on his shoulder. “He’s visiting for a few days, so I invited him along. You don’t mind, do you?”

  “No, I mean, sure. That is, all three of us on a date?”

  Dick laughed. “What Jim is trying to say is that I have an old friend I’d like to see while I’m in town, so Jim offered to drop me off on the way to the restaurant with you.”

  Jim’s face reddened. “Yes, he’s just riding along with us, and then we’ll pick him up at the end of our evening—if that’s okay with you.”

  Harriet calmed down and smiled. “It’s completely fine. I’ll just grab a jacket and be right with you.”

  For a moment there Harriet thought she was in for double trouble! One man was enough—but two? No way!

  Today’s Thoughts

  Better a little with righteousness…

  PROVERBS 16:8

  Lord, thank you for giving courage to the fearful, including me—especially when I’m presented with new experiences that you can use to help me grow.

  93

  Which Would You Choose?

  “I’m ready for prison,” Ed told his friend Sarah.

  Sarah was shocked. “But you’ve never committed a crime in your whole life! Why would you want to spend your last years in jail?”

  “I can’t afford to be retired,” Ed replied. “The cost of living is going up each year, and it’s too much for me—even with my modest lifestyle. Just think about this, Sarah. It might work for you too:

  • Free housing and three meals a day. That means no grocery shopping or cooking.

  • No car so no gas, driver’s license, or auto registration fees.

  • No income tax and no jury duty. Yeah!

  • Utility bills are on the prison, as well as lawn mowing, medical care, and entertainment.

  • A clean uniform and underwear are provided.

  “Doesn’t that sound like a good deal, Sarah?”

  “That’s your idea of a happy retirement?” Sarah asked. “It’s not mine, Ed!”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I already have all I need and want. My heavenly Father has provided well for me, and he always will. He’s given me:

  • Rest: ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest’ (Matthew 11:28).

  • Love: ‘ “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you’ (Isaiah 54:10).

  • Security: ‘Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom’ (Luke 12:32).

  • Parenting: ‘I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters’ (2 Corinthians 6:18).

  • Peace: ‘Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you’ (John 14:27).

  • Assurance: ‘Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you’ (Isaiah 46:4).

  • Salvation: ‘I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand’ (John 10:28).

  “Now, doesn’t that sound like everything you need?” Sarah asked.

  Ed looked at his friend. “You’ve got me there. I want the freedom you talked about. How do I get started?”

  Sarah pulled out her Bible. She was more than happy to share God’s Word anytime, anywhere.

  Today’s Thoughts

  When calamity comes, the wicked are brought down, but even in death the righteous seek refuge in God.

  PROVERBS 14:32

  O, Lord, how faithful you are to house and feed me—in body and spirit. I want to praise your name forever.

  94

  Seeing Clearly

  Buddy had a great idea for gifts for the relatives on his Christmas list. He’d take some great photos during the summer and fall and then frame them. He worried a bit, however, because his eyes were giving him fits of late, and he wanted to be sure he did a good job. Maybe it would help if he got a prescription for dark sunglasses so he wouldn’t have trouble when he was shooting photos outdoors.

  All went as he hoped. Soon Buddy was taking pictures of flower gardens, the trees in the nearby woods, and some of the exquisite architecture in his home city. After developing 100 or more of his beauties, he set out to place them in threesome frames so each person on his list would have two nature photos and one cityscape.

  On Christmas afternoon he gathered with family and friends for dinner at his sister’s house. After the meal he handed out his gifts and sat on the edge of his chair waiting to see the expressions on his family’s faces when they opened them.

  They were surprised, all right. But he was even more surprised! His sister Melanie opened hers first and held it up. “Very unique, Buddy. Thank you.”

  Oh my! Buddy saw something very strange. He’d placed the photos upside down in the frames. Of course, it could be fixed, but that’s what can happen, he realized, when he wore dark glasses to do work that should be done in the light.

  He was reminded of something the apostle Paul wrote in a letter to the believers in Corinth: “Now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known” (1 Corinthians 13:12).

  Today’s Thoughts

  Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

  MATTHEW 5:8

  Lord, thank you that my silly, small mistakes can be fixed easily and that my big ones can give way to major, positive changes when I walk with you and keep you as my focus.

  95

  The Deposit

  Leslie opened her mail on Friday afternoon. She slit one of the envelopes and pulled out a check. “Yippee!” she shouted to her cat lounging in a sunny spot on the kitchen floor. She’d received a capital refund of $400 from the electric company. Surprised and excited, she decided to pay all her household bills before their deadlines. Leslie entered the amount into her checkbook and wrote several checks. She drove to the bank to deposit the check.

  “I wanted to avoid the long line in front of the teller windows, so I opted to sign the check, put it into a deposit envelope, and pop it into the deposit-only box by the bank entrance. After I did that, I took off to mail the bill payments.”

  The following Monday an employee from Farmers Bank phoned Leslie. “We have your deposit here… ”

  Before the woman could say another word, Leslie blurted, “But, ma’am, I don’t do business with your bank.” She told the lady the name of her bank and was ready to hang up, when the woman stopped her.

  “Wait! That’s what I’m calling you about. I have your check for $400… ”

  Leslie interrupted her again. “I deposited that check into my bank.”

  Calmly, the woman continued. “You must have come to our bank by mistake. Remember, they’re just across the street from each other. Would you like to come by and pick up your check? Or shall we return it by mail?”

  “I’ll come and pick it up,” Leslie replied.

  Later Leslie shared, “I had my doubts about what happened… until I returned the next day and drove into the Farmers Bank drive-thru. Sure enough, it looked very familiar. It had been my mistake. When I approached the bank manager, she was all smiles and said it could happen to anyone. I thanked her and left, feeling a bit chagrined at my senior moment but grateful to God for kind, honest people. The only thing I had to live through was my embarrassment.”

  Today’s Thoughts

  Praise be to the God
and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles.

  2 CORINTHIANS 1:3-4

  Thank you, God, for seeing me through one embarrassing moment after another now that I’m a bit forgetful. If I asked you for guidance each morning maybe I would reduce my mistakes and multiply my feelings of peace. Remind me to do that, please.

  96

  Double Vision

  “Peggy, I’m going to call Dr. Albert for an eye checkup,” Reggie said as he sauntered into the den and plopped down on the sofa next to his wife. “The last couple of days have been terrible. I’m seeing double when I read. I guess it’s time for a new prescription.”

  “That’s pretty sudden.” Peggy frowned. “You were just there two months ago. Now you’ve got me worried.”

  “Me too.” Reggie lowered his head into his hands and let out a sigh. “Getting old is the pits. From one minute to the next I don’t know what’s going to happen. And I’m not just talking about the change in my vision. We don’t need another medical expense right now.”

  After dinner Reggie sank into the sofa in front of the TV. “No more reading for me for a while.” He set aside his newspaper and the novel he’d just purchased.

  Peggy joined him with her knitting. She stroked his hand and kissed him on the cheek. “It’ll be all right,” she said. “We’ll get through this together.” She picked up her needles and the scarf she was working on, then suddenly put down the yarn. “What am I doing?” she blurted. “I can’t knit without my specs. Where are they?”

  “Don’t ask me,” Reggie said in a somber tone. “Mine are now totally useless so I can’t help you search for yours.”

  Peggy walked out of the room and returned a moment later, carrying a pair of generic reading glasses she’d bought at the local pharmacy. “Whew! They were right where I left them—on the kitchen counter. I just forgot for a moment.”