Loving Kalvin (The Kennedy Boys Book 4)

by Siobhan Davis

  “Eh, sorry.” I force my eyes on the road. Fuck!

  She clears her throat a minute later. “What were you saying? About bowling?”

  “Oh, yeah.” I twist my cap around backward on my head, keeping my eyes firmly on the road. “A few of us are heading to the Reitz tonight for a game. I thought you might like to come?”

  “That sounds like fun, but I volunteer at the center on Wednesday nights. Sorry.”

  “What time do you get off?”

  “Usually about ten, but it depends. Sometimes it’s later.”

  I park around the corner from her building. “We can still make it work.” I twist around so I’m facing her, and it’s like a punch to the gut. She’s even more beautiful than I remember, and it’s becoming so difficult not to touch her. My fingers twitch with intense longing, and my mouth waters at the sight of her lush, slightly parted lips. Memories of our hot make-out sessions in the cabin turn my semi into a full-on raging boner. I hope she doesn’t notice. One false move could send her scurrying away. I need to gently coax her into this, but patience has never been one of my strong suits.

  She coughs, recapturing my attention. “We can still make this work, how?” she prompts.

  God, I’m acting like a total idiot. “I can collect you from work and bring you back with me. We’ll be there till at least eleven.”

  “You’re sure?”

  I frown. “Of course.”

  She chews on the corner of her nail, pulling her knees up to her chest. “What will your friends think? Do they know who I am?”

  I reach out, removing her finger from her mouth. “Brett, my roomie, is the only one who knows, and he’s cool.” I’m slightly twisting the truth, but I also know Brett would never be hurtful to Lana even if he is slightly wary of her.

  “Won’t the others figure it out?” Worry lines furrow her brow.

  “Overthinking, babe.” I smooth her forehead with my thumb. “And if anyone figures it out, who cares? If anyone dares say anything to you, I’ll kick their ass.”

  “You shouldn’t have to defend me.”

  She hangs her head, and I smother my groan of frustration. Why can’t she just get over this? If I can, why can’t she?

  “Honeybun.” I tilt her chin up. “We can’t do this every time. We are friends, and friends support each other. What happened is in the past. We are moving forward, and you are not going to dwell on it. If other people have an issue with it, let them.” I shrug. “All that matters is you and me. You’re my best friend, Lana. You’ve always been my best friend. If we don’t work to get our friendship back on track, then Addison and Courtney, and all the begrudgers, and people who want to see us fall, have won. They tried to destroy us, but we’re stronger than that, right?”

  Her eyes glisten with determination. “Yeah, you’re right.”

  “I usually am,” I smirk.

  She swats my arm. “Good to see you haven’t lost your cocky streak.”

  Well, dammit, she had to go and mention the war. My dick strains against my jeans. “I’m all kinds of cocky for you,” I admit without stopping to apply a filter.

  “Oh. My. God. You did not just say that.” Her cheeks flush, and I throw back my head, laughing.

  “Just keeping it real, babe.”

  Shaking her head, she gets out of the truck. “Thanks for the ride, Kal. I’ll text you the center address later.”

  I love how my name sounds coming out of her mouth.

  She rounds the front of the truck as I lower my window. Leaning against my door, she peers up at me. Her mouth opens and closes several times, and I wonder what’s so hard to say. “Kal,” she finally whispers. “I really have missed you. I felt like I lost a part of myself when I had to leave you behind.”

  Be still my beating heart. I place my hands over hers. “I know, sweetheart. I know.”

  Her eyes roam over my face, her chest rises and falls, and so much emotion radiates in her expression, and I love it.

  I want to kiss the shit out of her right now.

  “Are we really going to do this?” she whispers.

  I can’t help what I do next. Moving fast, I skim my mouth over hers, superfast, just one fleeting caress of our lips, but it’s everything.

  Everything.

  “Yes,” I whisper, as she gasps. “Now, get your cute butt in that building before you’re late. I’ll see you tonight.”

  I wander around all day with a smug grin on my face, buoyed with renewed hope.

  It’s the end of the day, and I’m currently parked in front of the business school waiting to drive her home when I see him.

  Douchey McDouche.

  Lounging against the wall outside, he’s eye fucking every female that vacates the building. My fists strain white with the effort involved in not beating his sleazy ass. I want to demand what the fuck he’s doing, but I don’t trust myself not to lose it.

  Lana’s eyes startle when she sees Chase approaching. She tightens the grip on her bag, shuffling on her feet as she stares up at him. He smiles seductively at her, and her shy smile gives rise to full-blown laughter as she cracks up at something he says.

  I want to rip off my shirt, pummel my fists against my chest, and swing over there with a primal roar, marking my territory, but I can’t. I have no claim on her, yet, and I can’t afford to jeopardize things by acting all possessive and alpha male. Douche face would only get off on that. When he puts his hand on her hip, I bury my head in my hands, fighting the almost insurmountable urge to get out of my truck, race over there, and thrust my fist in his face. Man, that image is so tempting.

  The thought of his hands anywhere on her body—hell, the thought of any guy putting his hands on her—sends me into a murderous rage. I’m a fucking hypocrite, I know, but I can’t bear to think of any other guy being with her like that. Although, I’m not naïve. Lana’s gorgeous, and she’s had her fair share of admirers over the years. We’ve been apart for over a year. I can’t ignore the fact she may have been with others since she was with me. Stabbing pain splinters my heart all over.

  I don’t want her with any other guy.

  She belongs with me.

  I love that I was her first—the first boy to kiss her and the first boy to make love to her—but I’m terrified that I won’t be her last.

  Lana is smiling up at Chase, gesturing animatedly with her hands, and a bitter taste floods my mouth. I start up my engine, gunning it out of there before I do something I regret. Something I can’t come back from.

  My palms are sweaty as I sit in my truck outside the center waiting for Lana later that night. It’s not like me to be nervous, but I get this strange, fluttery sensation in my chest every time I’m around her lately. I bailed in the middle of a game to come get her, much to my teammates’ disgust. Comments about being pussy-whipped were bandied about. I may have overused my middle finger a bit.

  Lana is wearing the same jeans and sneakers she had on earlier, now combined with a figure-hugging strappy black tank top that is a little too low in the front. Usually, you wouldn’t hear me complaining, but it’s not the most suitable attire for bowling. If any of the guys even look sideways at her, I’ll kill them stone dead. She has teamed the tank with a sparkly black cardigan that is open and flapping gently in the night breeze. Even in the dark, she lights up my world. Spotting my truck, she heads in my direction, pulling herself up into the passenger seat. “Hey.”

  “Hey yourself.” She smiles at me, and I stare at her as if in a daze. Floral scents waft through the air, tickling my senses. Lana always smells like summer and apple blossom.

  “Ready to get your ass whooped?”

  I snort. “Now who’s being cocky?” I start the engine and ease out onto the road.

  “I’m confident. There’s a difference.” She twists around so she’s facing me, tapping a finger off her li
p. “Remind me again how many times you’ve beaten me at bowling?”

  I chuckle. “First time for everything, sweetheart. You haven’t seen me play in a while.”

  “Ohh. It’s like that I see.” Her smile defrosts all the frozen parts of me. She leans toward me, deliberately talking in a low voice. “You’re not the only one who enjoys a challenge.” I glance quickly at her, and I think I stop breathing. “Eyes on the road, Kal. Let’s not have a repeat of this morning.”

  I try to play it cool. “You caught that, huh?”

  “Your tongue was hanging out, and you were panting like a dog in heat. Hard not to.”

  I snort, loving this more playful side of Lana. It reminds me of how good it was between us. When we were in the cabin, it was as if we were in our own little world. I saw a very different side to Lana then, as she, no doubt, did with me. She’s the only girl I’ve fully let my guard down with, and I want that back. That closeness. That bond. I have to believe we can reclaim it.

  “It’s not my fault you’re irresistible, and, if I didn’t know better, I’d say those babies”—I wave my hand in the direction of her chest, carefully keeping my eyes on the road—“have been surgically enhanced.”

  She slaps my chest, and I jump.

  “Shit, sorry,” she exclaims when the truck swerves a little. “I won’t mess when you’re driving.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  “Well, I do.” She settles back in her seat. “I’m not ready to depart this life yet.”

  “Is it true?” I ask, wanting to lighten the sudden inexplicable tension. “Did you have a boob job because I know they’re bigger.”

  She fails to smother her giggle. “Yes, they are, and, no, I didn’t.”

  “Well, hot damn.” My jeans are straining again. I swear Lana has a unique talent when it comes to turning me on. “Is that like a thing?”

  She splutters, laughing hard. “You are so ridiculous. They just grew over a couple of months and … and they didn’t go back down.” Her expression turns grave, and I’ve no idea where her mind has gone.

  “Well, me likie. Me likie a lot.” I wink, wanting to wipe that serious look off her face. “Do you think you might show me some time?” Her eyes pop wide, and she splutters again. “Purely for scientific research purposes, you understand,” I add, grinning wolfishly.

  “Don’t push it, Stinky.”

  My smile expands at the use of her nickname. “Oh, I want to push it, Lana. You have no idea how far I want to push it.” I smirk, and the look I give her is suggestive in the extreme.

  “Mind out of the gutter, dude.” She feigns disgust, but I spot the sly curve of her lips as she turns her head.

  Lana may want to appear oblivious—she’s anything but.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Lana

  “Hey, everyone, this is Lana,” Kal says by way of introduction when we reach the end of the bowling alley where a bunch of guys and girls are congregated. All heads turn in my direction, and I offer up a shy group wave. Kal places his arm around my shoulders, steering me to the last lane. “What the fuck, guys?” He scowls at the scoreboard. “I was gone twenty minutes, tops, and you managed to throw the game?” He shakes his head. “Lame.”

  “Asshole,” a good-looking guy with massive shoulders and a smirking face says, thumping Kal in the arm. His gaze flits to mine before returning to Kal. “Aren’t you going to introduce me?”

  “Lana, this is my roomie, Brett. Brett, Lana.”

  “A pleasure.” Brett says, taking my hand and planting a soft kiss on the back of it.

  “Likewise.”

  “Happy now?” Kal asks.

  “Fact, friend,” Brett says.

  “It just so happens,” Kal says, his gaze skipping around his friends before fixating on me, “that I’ve brought a secret weapon.”

  “Kal!” I hiss, digging him in the ribs, attempting to hide my embarrassment.

  He ignores me.

  Of course.

  “Lana is an epic bowler. Made it to the Junior Gold Championships two years running.”

  “I came home empty-handed,” I remind him.

  He takes my wrist, rubbing his thumb against my sensitive flesh. “You were so close that last time.”

  I can still remember the buzz in the arena, and the adrenaline shooting through my veins. All Kal’s brothers had traveled with us, and I remember how desperately I wanted to win, but it wasn’t meant to be. “I know, it sucked.”

  “You’re still the best bowler I know, babe.” He smacks a loud kiss off my cheek before turning to his teammates. “We are going to whoop those pansy-asses!” he yells, and the group hoots and hollers in approval.

  He shunts me forward so I can choose a ball. “You know I hate when you do that,” I murmur in a low tone so no one else can hear us.

  “Babe.” He spins me around so I’m facing him. “And I’ll tell you what I’ve told you a million times. You are unbelievably talented, and you shouldn’t be shy about that. Put a bowling ball in your hands and you’re on fire. Own it!”

  I roll my eyes. “Great speech. Unoriginal, but great.” I’ve heard it a thousand times, but no matter how many times Kal says it, I will never be that person—the one who brags, who shows off, who claims center stage. I like bowling. It’s fun, but I’m fairly certain I’d feel that way even if I were shit at it.

  Blocking everyone out, I position myself in front of the lane and align my shot, stepping forward a few paces and thrusting my arm out in a precise, skillful move. Our team cheers when I hit a strike.

  I’m showered with compliments after my fourth strike in a row, and I’m starting to relax and enjoy myself. Most of the guys are on the football team, along with Brett. The girls with them are friendly, and we chat casually in between bowling. Kal hovers near me the whole time, and he hasn’t stopped touching me. Either his fingers are linked with mine or his hand is on my lower back or he has me tucked into his side, but he finds some way of touching me, and I’m lapping it up.

  I know he’s spouting the friendship line, but this feels like more than that. I don’t want to overanalyze it, and I’m trying to do as he suggests and not overthink things, but I can’t help speculating. Over the years, I’ve spent plenty of time imagining what it would be like to date Kal, to feel the weight of his undivided attention, to be on the receiving end of his love. Now, I’m experiencing a teensy part of what that’d be like, and it’s more than I ever imagined. I both hate and love the little burst of hope building inside me.

  If this ends badly, it has the power to utterly destroy me.

  Destroy us both.

  And it’s not just the two of us anymore.

  Am I being selfish again?

  I don’t know.

  Is it wrong to want this?

  Because, oh, God, I do want this. I want him. I want him so badly.

  “You’re up, honeybun,” Kal says, planting his hands on my shoulders and nudging me forward.

  Brett’s head whips around fast. “Back up there, dude. Did you just call her honeybun?”

  Oh cripes. I mentally cringe.

  Kal shrugs, unconcerned, and there’s a twinkle in his eyes. “I did. You know we have history.”

  “And cheesy pet names, it seems,” Brett drolls with a teasing smirk. “What do you call him?” His eyes brighten with interest.

  I have my mouth open to respond when two things happen at once. Kal turns pleading eyes on me at the same time a female voice gasps, crying out, “Oh my God, you’re her! You’re the girl who accused him!”

  It’s as if all the air has been sucked out of the room and my lungs.

  I knew this was coming, yet I’m totally unprepared.

  A quiet hush descends over our group, and I’m conscious of the attention of every person. Kal pulls me back into his chest, his arms
snaking around my waist. My heart is hammering, beating way too fast, looking for a way out, but I can’t shy away from this. Before Kal can rush to my rescue, I clear my throat. “Yes. I’m that girl.” I hold my head up and meet every pair of curious eyes. “I made a terrible mistake,” I add, gulping over the lump in my throat. “One I will have to live with for the rest of my life.”

  The girl that made the comment steps directly in front of me, a look of utter contempt across her face. “You think that makes it okay?!” she yells.

  “No. Of course, I don’t.”

  Her lips curl into a snarl. “I despise girls like you.”

  “Hayley,” Kal cuts in. “That’s enough.” The warning in his tone is clear.

  “How the fuck can you stand there holding her? You’re as bad as she is.”

  “This is none of your business.” Kal grits the words out, and his body is tense behind me. I attempt to shuck out of his embrace, but his arms tighten around me.

  “The hell it isn’t!” She’s shouting now, and a larger crowd has gathered around us. I want the ground to open up and swallow me. She jabs her finger in my chest. “What she did affected every rape victim!”

  “That’s a bit of a sweeping generalization, don’t you think?” Kal’s tone is laced with anger.

  I curl my hand around his arm, urging him to shush. This is my battle, not his. “You think I don’t know that?” I ask quietly. “I think about that every minute of every day. If I could take it all back, I would.”

  She harrumphs, planting her hands on her hips. “You seriously expect me to believe that?”

  “It’s the truth.”

  “As if anyone can believe a word that comes out of your mouth. Lying whore!”

  I recoil at the familiar words, and festering wounds crack wide open inside me. My heart is galloping, slamming painfully against my ribcage. Every word out of her mouth is like a physical blow, each one more potent and hurtful than the last. My eyes graze the crowd. Some are as furious as this girl, glaring at me with hateful expressions. Others look away, refusing to meet my eyes. Brett and some of his teammates look apologetic.