Voyeur

by Candace Wondrak

  And then, of course, my mind went to Lake, what I’d say to him. There were really no words I could use to convince him that everything about what happened was okay, so I would try not to make excuses for Roman’s behavior.

  The sun was not yet up by the time I made it back to the apartment building. I yawned, feeling the need to crawl in my bed and sleep for a few hours before I even attempted to talk to Lake. I was still not accustomed to my work schedule—although, to be fair, it was hardly a schedule since I only worked Tuesdays and Thursdays.

  My feet took me towards the door, and I was about halfway through the parking lot when the silence of the air was split with someone whispering, “Zoey.”

  I stopped, feeling the hair on the back of my neck stand straight, an eerie feeling washing over me as I glanced around the parking lot. Right now was not a good time for whatever this was. But I saw nothing, spotted no one.

  Did I imagine that, or was I crazy?

  I shook off the strange feeling, heading inside. As I went to the elevator, I kept throwing looks over my shoulder, as if I half-expected someone to rush up to me, throw another sack over my head, and kidnap me.

  Thanks for the paranoia, Roman.

  What should be needless to say, I got on the elevator with no issues. The ride up took only a few moments, and I zoned out during most of it, wondering what the hell was going on. I really needed sleep if I was hearing things. The doors slid open before me, and I walked out, my intent to go to my apartment and hit the sack, but my legs froze when I spotted the slouched figure just outside my door.

  Lake was asleep in the hallway right outside my apartment, his blonde hair so messy it was cute, his legs in nothing but athletic shorts and his lean torso wearing a Superman t-shirt.

  God, he was so cute, even when he was passed out in what must be the most uncomfortable position ever.

  I quietly moved to his side, kneeling before him. A part of me hated to wake him up, but I couldn’t ignore him, pretend I didn’t see him, and let him sleep here. I set a hand on his shoulder, whispering his name quietly, “Lake.”

  He stirred, blinking open his eyes. He was normally a morning person, up bright and early, but even this was too early for that. “What—Zoey, I…” He yawned.

  Before he could say anything else, I helped him get to his feet. Lake leaned on me, barely able to walk as I led him back to his apartment—his door was unlocked, by the way, so anyone could’ve just strolled in while he was passed out in the hall. I brought him inside, depositing him on his bed.

  His apartment was decorated in much the same way as mine, though you could tell his furniture was from cheap bargain stores, most everything made of pressboard and not real, hand-crafted wood like all of the furniture Roman had delivered for me. Still, it was a more colorful space, full of pop culture references and posters on the wall. It was such a Lake place; no matter where I looked, everything reminded me of him.

  Lake crawled into bed, pulling the covers up to his shoulders and giving me another yawn. “We need to talk,” he murmured, his voice slurring the words a bit due to how out of it he was right now.

  Gingerly, I sat on the edge of his bed, and I gave him a tiny smile. “We will,” I said, a promise. “But not right now. Go back to bed, Lake.”

  He whispered, “Just give me… an hour.” And with that, he rolled onto his side, giving me his back.

  The teeny smile on my face only grew, and it took everything in me to heave a sigh and get up, to leave Lake alone in that bed and go to my own apartment. I’d like nothing more than to crawl in that bed, to play the big spoon to his little spoon, and just hold him. Apologize for all the shit I’d dragged him into.

  No. I wouldn’t do anything with Lake until we had a chat.

  I kicked off my shoes before collapsing on my bed. I didn’t bother to get under the covers, my mind racing as it thought about Lake. Though I was exhausted from a long night, I didn’t think sleep would come to me at all, but it must’ve, because I closed my eyes for what I thought was one second, and the next thing I knew, sunlight streamed through the lone window near my bed.

  My head felt heavy, like it always did after I got hardly any sleep. I rolled onto my other side, facing away from the window, about to doze back off when a knock echoed in the tiny space. I didn’t get up right away, mostly because I was tired and wanted to sleep for a few more hours, but then I remembered what happened when I got home from work, how Lake had been so adorably passed out near my apartment, and I forced myself out of that bed.

  It was a struggle, trust me.

  My bare feet shuffled to the door, and I opened it, finding the man in question himself on the other side, too bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for my liking. Now it was my turn to yawn.

  Lake’s sapphire gaze traveled along me, noting how I still wore my jacket from work. “I could come back later? I didn’t know if you’d be sleeping or if… well, obviously you were sleeping.” He took a step back. “I could come back—”

  I reached out, grabbed him by the shirt collar, and pulled him into my apartment, closing the door with another yawn.

  Lake rubbed the back of his neck as he went to sit on the sofa. The same sofa I’d come onto him, the same sofa that was a part of the equation that got us into this mess. I watched as he reclined back, looking mighty awkward and uneasy.

  I decided to sit cross-legged at the foot of my bed, about five feet from where he was, and I said what I said next to try to ease his awkwardness, “Crystal told me what happened.”

  His shoulders visibly relaxed, and he let out a shaky sigh. “Oh, good. Well, I mean, it’s not good, exactly, but—”

  Since I knew he’d continue to ramble, I went on, “Roman had you brought to the Dollhouse. He had Crystal come onto you…” I did not like the thought of that woman trying to seduce Lake, so I shook it from my mind, glad I wasn’t there to see it. “But you stopped her.”

  “Yeah,” Lake admitted. “I still don’t get it, but…” He shrugged, those pretty eyes locking with mine. He looked so lonely on that couch; I really wished I could sit next to him, hug him, touch him, but we really needed to have this talk, first. “Don’t get me wrong, Crystal is pretty, but she’s not you.”

  Me. Me with the fucked-up family. Me with the obnoxiously pink hair. Me, the girl who was trying to find herself in this mess that was life.

  Lake managed to smile, even though this wasn’t really a smiling matter. “And then I might’ve yelled at him a little, so if I wind up dead, you’ll know who to blame.”

  “He won’t hurt you,” I said. “I won’t let him.” That was something I meant with my entire heart; I would not let Roman Russo hurt Lake, not while I still had fight left in me.

  “I appreciate that,” Lake spoke, a grin breaking out on his face, dimples appearing in his cheeks. “He, uh, basically said if I hurt you, he’d kill me. That man is something else. Can’t say I’ve ever met anyone like him, and to be honest, my life was just fine without him in it.” He shifted his weight, rubbing his palms over his pants. He’d changed out of what must’ve been his pajamas, now wearing jeans and a new shirt. “But, then again, if I never met him, where would that leave us?”

  It was a moment before I said, “I don’t know.”

  Lake went on, “I think that was some stupid test. He went on and on about loyalty. He said he’ll let me stay in your life, as long as I don’t hurt you.” His cheeks flushed a bit. “I never knew I had to get a stranger’s permission to date the girl I like, but I guess life is full of surprises.”

  I let his words sink in. “You mean, you’d still want to see me, even if that’s where I work? Even if…” God, how could I say this without sounding insane? Even after all this time, I wasn’t sure what to call the deal between Roman and me. “Even if I’m still with Roman?” When Lake said nothing, only stared at me, I added, “I know it might be stupid, I know the man is dangerous, but… I don’t know. There’s something about him I just can’t walk away from. He hel
ped me feel alive again.”

  He bit his cheek, still silent.

  “If you’re not okay with that, I get it,” I said. “No hard feelings or anything. I just… I need to know if we can at least be friends.” I took a moment to glance around my place, at the fancy furniture and everything that still didn’t feel like it was mine. “I have nothing here. Nothing but you and Roman.” And Carter, but I always lumped him in with Roman.

  Lake was slow to say, “We can be friends.”

  I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t sink a little at hearing that. Being friends was nice enough, but it was second place to what I really wanted. I knew, though, I couldn’t force Lake to do something he didn’t want to, to be in a weird relationship with me while I was under Roman’s thumb.

  But then he said something else, something that made my heart swell with joy.

  “I’ve heard relationships always work better when the people in the relationship are friends.”

  A lump formed in the back of my throat, and though I heard him perfectly clear, I still found myself muttering, “What?”

  Lake leaned forward, setting his arms on his knees as he stared straight at me, the intensity in his eyes almost too much to bear. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him so serious. “I want to be with you, Zoey. I don’t care where you work. I want to take you out on dates, watch you demolish a basket of wings every Friday night, and let you be my mentor when it comes to horror movies.”

  I grinned. It was insanely hard to remain on my bed and not lunge at him; I wanted to kiss this guy so bad it was ridiculous.

  “I want to see that smile a million and a half more times,” he went on, matching my smile with his. “I want to be there for you, Zoey, and I want you to be there for me. Roman is… a bit of a scary dude, but I’m not going to let him scare me away from you. Maybe it’s stupid, but I don’t care.”

  Oh, God. Lake was so sweet. So fucking sweet I probably spontaneously got a dozen cavities listening to him go on and on, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  On one hand, I had Roman and Carter, the rough and wild ones, the dangerous ones who would literally kill anyone who looked at me wrong—even though it hadn’t happened yet. On the other hand, I had Lake, the sweet boy next door with the cute dimples and the gentle yet awkward personality. Two opposite sides of the coin, and I craved them both.

  You know what? Fuck it.

  My tiredness was a thing of the past, and I slipped off my bed, practically rushing to the couch. I threw my arms around him and kissed him, stopping him from saying whatever the hell he’d planned on saying next. He tasted like promises, sweet and soft, a future I wanted.

  Maybe, as complicated as this all was, this could work.

  Chapter Sixteen - A Man

  It’d taken him a while, but he’d found her. Had to go sniffing through all of his old channels to do it, too. It was a good thing the kid who hired him was loaded—he was making bank on this job, and the man wished every job would be as profitable. Granted, it was good not every job took as much time as this one did.

  Bus tickets. Trailing someone who used cash. It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t impossible. The man had been at this a long time, finding those who did not want to be found. Sometimes those who’d run ran for a reason, and sometimes they didn’t. It was not his place to judge; only to find them.

  And find her he did.

  Zoey Marbella, heir to the Marbella fortune, eldest daughter to the rich clan in Hillcrest, was now working at a strip club and living in the dingiest looking apartment building the man had ever seen.

  He’d found her, followed her to her job one night, even took a seat just to get a better look at her. She didn’t know him, so she didn’t look twice at him, which was fine. Tonight, he waited in his car for her to come back, and when she did, he coughed her name out of the window, just to be one hundred percent certain it was indeed her and not a pink-haired lookalike.

  The Zoey Marbella his client had hired him to find didn’t have pink hair when she’d hightailed it out of Hillcrest, you see.

  But it was her. When he’d called her name, she stopped, shoulders snapping straight, and looked all around. Of course, the parking lot was near pitch black, so she didn’t see him sitting in his car, off to the side, watching her.

  Though it was late, the man picked up his phone after Zoey went inside the building. He dialed his client’s number, and it rang a few times before a groggy voice picked up, “Hello?”

  “It’s me,” the man said, his voice coming out gruff and gravelly, the result of heavy smoking his whole life. And then he told his client the words he’d been waiting to hear for weeks now: “I found her.”

  Regardless of what his client ended up doing, the job was now done, and he could wash his hands of the matter. After all, what happened between lovers during a quarrel was never anyone else’s business. Zoey Marbella and Bryan Oakes would have to hash it out on their own.

  Chapter Seventeen – Roman

  Zoey was thrilled to have the green light from me when it came to Lake; I didn’t need to spy on her to know it.

  I did, though, because I was me. I watched their little chat, watched her rush over to him and kiss him like there was no tomorrow, all the while fighting the jealousy and anger bubbling inside of me at the sight.

  It would take some getting used to, I supposed. Perhaps I’d never get accustomed to it, and I would always be two steps from the edge when it came to Lake and Zoey.

  But I would try. I would try for her, because she’d been right. Lake could be there for her when I couldn’t, and if something ever happened to me, at least I’d know she’d have someone else to lean on, someone to depend on. The last thing I wanted would be for Zoey to be alone if worse came to worst.

  Fuck, I really hated admitting that to myself.

  I sat in my backyard, on a patio near the pool. The sun had almost set; I’d sent Carter to fetch Zoey a little while ago. She had her talk with Lake, and now it was time for her to have a chat with me. I was certain she had many things to say to me, since apparently Crystal spilled all the beans about what I’d tried to do at the Dollhouse with her and Lake.

  Every few minutes I sipped my drink, waiting. This week had been slow on the work front, so all of my focus had been on Zoey and Lake. Probably not something healthy to focus on, but it was what it was; I needed to know if I could trust Zoey with Lake, and though it was a rudimentary test, I was satisfied enough with the results.

  For now.

  Who could say? Maybe I’d test him again further down the road, when I wasn’t there to watch, when it wouldn’t be so obvious, just to keep him on his toes.

  I heard footsteps echoing on the patio, and I did not bother to turn and look. I recognized the sounds of Carter’s shoes, and I knew Zoey hardly made any noises when she walked while wearing those hideous pink sneakers.

  They were her favorite, for whatever ungodly reason.

  When her legs stood in my peripheral vision, I glanced at her, slowly drawing my gaze up, taking in her tight shorts and her even tighter shirt. Her pink hair was a bit messy, a little wild, her light blue eyes almost accusatory as they watched me. Carter stood just behind her, not bothering to hide how his hungry gaze traveled along her backside.

  “Sit,” I said, gesturing to the wicker chair beside mine.

  Zoey took her time in sitting, though she did glance back at Carter, catching him in the act of ogling her. The man himself didn’t appear to care much that he was caught red-handed, simply giving her a smirk when their gazes met.

  Once her attention was back on me, I spoke, “I assume you have words for me, Zoey.” My gaze was now on the pool, on the clear blue water sitting inside it. Inground, it was wide and deep, with lights and its own heating system. The air had started to become a bit cooler at night, but not cold enough to close it up.

  “Oh, yeah,” she said, attitude dripping from her voice, “I have more than a few, Roman.” She hissed out my name like s
he always did, and I fought the urge to smile.

  I did so enjoy hearing that tongue say my name.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” Zoey asked, frowning at me. “I thought I said no more kidnapping?” I didn’t even get the chance to answer her, for she immediately went on, “And to take him to the Dollhouse, to get Crystal to come on to him? What the fuck?” Now she was just pissed, and I couldn’t hide the smile struggling to form on my face that time.

  I also enjoyed her feistiness.

  Meeting her angry stare, I shrugged and took another sip out of my glass. “Yes, well, what can I say? Your boy surprised me, in the end.”

  Zoey groaned. “Stop calling him a boy. He’s not a boy.” I’d be sure to keep calling him that, just to aggravate her, just as she would continue to press my buttons to rile me up. It went both ways here.

  “He even stood up to me,” I said. “If he were anyone else, he’d be dead right now.” That was not an exaggeration. I didn’t take kindly to others trying to put me in my place, so to speak. “Now, I do believe you should be thanking me.”

  She glared, saying, “For what? For nearly giving Lake a heart attack? For trying to bully him and scare him away?”

  “For allowing you to continue seeing him,” I said, setting down the glass on the patio beneath my chair. “Do you think I’d let just anyone date you while you’re mine, hmm? Do you think I’ve done this for anyone else before?” I leaned over my chair, reaching for her wrist, grasping it tightly as I pulled her toward me.

  Zoey’s face was less than two inches from mine, and her lips parted. She did not try to yank herself away.

  “The answer to those questions,” I whispered, staring deep into her eyes, “is no, so be grateful.” I let her go, and she huffed at me.

  She stood, bending over me, for once in the superior position. “If you want me to thank you,” she purred out, giving me a challenging look, “you’re going to be sorely disappointed.” Her smile grew ear to ear, and she pushed herself away from me, sashaying her hips as she moved closer to the pool.