Death's Queen (The Complete Series)

by Janeal Falor

  I growl. My stomach is churning—an awful, gut wrenching feeling. Where could he be? It's been hours since I should have seen him. This is ridiculous. I need him.

  My eyes threaten to water. I blink. Now is not the time to give in to weakness.

  I have to find him.

  A thought hits me with such force, I gasp. What if he left me? What if he realized how awful I truly am? How stained my soul is? How much blood is on my hands?

  He couldn't take being around me any longer.

  I tighten my grip around my dagger.

  It can't be, but why else would he have disappeared?

  He wouldn't leave his family, though. He'll be there, and then I can demand answers. Demand that he at least turn in a resignation before running away.

  Unless something has happened to his family.

  My jaw aches from my clenching it so tight.

  There's a commotion out in the hall. I race to my doorway, where my guards are blocking three women with Wilric from entering. As soon as Wilric spots me, he says, “Nash's family.”

  I recognize the two younger women as his sisters. “Bring them in.”

  “But we need to check them for weapons,” Afet says.

  “Bring them in now.” My voice silences everyone.

  I take to the corner, from where I can watch both the door and the window. Nash's sisters and the woman I assume is his mother hurry in the room. They begin talking over one another, with Wilric silent next to them. The muscle in his jaw is tense.

  I raise a hand to quiet them.

  They do so and curtsy.

  “Forgive us, Your Majesty,” Nash’s mother says. She has graying hair and Nash's blue-specked hazel eyes. “We're worried about Nash. Have you heard?”

  That makes me worry all the more. My heart pounds harder with each word Wilric says.

  “Nash was not at home. His mother and sisters are certain he would have stayed true to his duty to you or sent you advance notice if he was called away.”

  A flash of heat zips through me. “Where could he be?” My voice is faint. Weak.

  “We were hoping you could help us find the answer to that question,” his mother says.

  How can I? I have nothing for her.

  “Is there any place you know of he might visit? Any haunt he enjoys?” I ask.

  “Only here and home,” she says. “He’s committed to work and doesn’t do much else.”

  I’m working him too hard. “When was the last time you saw him?”

  “Four days ago, Your Majesty.”

  I open my mouth to speak, when Jaku enters the room. “He's nowhere to be seen. What's more, I found evidence of a struggle in his room.”

  My heart drops to the center of the world. “What type of evidence?”

  His gaze skirts to the women in the room before returning to me. “There were drops of blood on the floor.”

  I want to collapse.

  Nash has been taken.

  Chapter 15

  “How can that be?” Nash's mother asks, voice shaking.

  “I've got to search his room,” I say.

  “My lady, forgive me, but I'm not certain it's safe,” Jaku says. “I need to secure the room and the perimeter around it better first, to make certain it's safe.”

  “I can protect myself.” I flash my dagger.

  “I know you can, but I would be remiss if I didn't check anyway.”

  “Fine. But do it now. I want to see the scene before much time passes.”

  He bows and is gone.

  Guilt hits me. He went missing under my watch. And it has to be Daros. Who else would it be, unless I have an enemy I'm unaware of?

  That's entirely likely too. I don't know what to do. I need to see his room, to get answers.

  I did this to his family.

  “Your Majesty,” a servant says, entering the room, “the council wishes to see you.”

  “Now?” There couldn't be a worse time for it.

  “They requested now, Your Majesty. They say it has to do with your missing Head Advisor.”

  Maybe they somehow got the answers I was unable to find. “Have someone take care of Nash's family for me.” I turn to them. “I will be back as soon as I can. We will figure this out.”

  The mother nods. The girls just look frightened.

  I hurry out of the room, unwilling to waste another minute.

  It takes longer than I'd like to get through the hallways to the council room, though I'm going at top speed. My escorts follow, armor clanking.

  When I get to the council room, all council members and their aides are here.

  “What news do you have of Nash?” The words are out of me as soon as everyone bows.

  I don't bother sitting; I stand behind my usual seat.

  “It's not that we have news of him,” Timit says. “With blood in his room and him missing, we need things fixed. We need you to choose a new Head Advisor.”

  This has to be a joke. There's no way I can pick one under these circumstances. “I will not.”

  “You have to,” Yuka says, but her words are soft. “The law states that you must have one present at all times, in case something happens to you. We can't let our country fall into disarray.”

  “I don't want to.”

  “What if someone was to kill you?” Timit asks.

  “No one will.” Though my voice is low, it fills the room.

  “I understand this is hard,” Yuka says, “but you have to choose someone. We can't leave it up to chance.”

  I say the first name that comes to mind. “My lady-in-waiting, Jem Surha.” Where did that come from? It doesn't matter. She won't be in the position long. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find my real Head Advisor.”

  “You can't pick a lady-in-waiting,” Kada says.

  “Why not?”

  “Because she's a lady-in-waiting, not an advisor,” Timit says.

  “And she advises me in that form. Might as well do it as my Head Advisor until Nash gets back.” I still don't know why I said her name. Ranen, Borkus, and Freya were going to control her—she admitted herself that they might have had power over her. So why do I trust her all of the sudden?

  Jem acted differently around the people. She’s been more thoughtful and less snide lately. She might make an all right regent until a new queen was chosen, if she didn’t let others control her. Not that I have any intention of dying and making her so.

  It doesn't matter. There are more important things to do.

  “If Her Majesty wishes to name Jem her Head Advisor, she can do so,” Mina says.

  The others scoff, and I have to wonder if it's because she's one of those farthest from my seat. Her advice isn't supposed to mean as much as that of people closer to me, but I appreciate it. “Thank you.”

  They continue to argue, but I leave the room.

  Jaku is waiting when I get back to my room. “The room is ready for your inspection.”

  “Thank you for being so swift.”

  I follow him, not knowing where I'm going. I should know where Nash sleeps, but all I know is that it's in the bunkhouse with the other guards. I need to see his family after this. I can't leave them hanging; they have more of a right to information than I do.

  We wind through hallways and out of the building and come to a complex that looks small next to the palace, but is fairly big in reality.

  “This is where all the guards sleep,” Jaku says.

  “Where are Nash's quarters?” The words bite out of me.

  “This way.” He doesn't hesitate.

  We pass by one brick building and enter a second.

  “This is where I moved him shortly after he became Head Advisor. He said he needed to stay with the men, but I insisted that he needed a space at least somewhat more befitting his station, since he refused to move into the palace.”

  There are guards around, some stationed and others looking at the ground as if searching for something. The floor is a rough wood,
smoothed by what must have been years of use. The walls are wood too, with no decorations on them.

  “What is this place?” I ask.

  “It’s where the leaders of the guard sleep. My personal quarters are through here. I saw and heard nothing out of the usual last night or this morning.”

  We pass several rooms, people all over the place. How could anyone have snuck out of here with Nash, without someone seeing them? I ask Jaku just that.

  “There weren't as many guards around this morning. They are here now both to look for more clues and for your safety. It must have been in the middle of the night when he was taken, for nobody to have noticed. Though even then, shifts are always changing.”

  That's not a good sign. Nash wouldn't have left without a fight if he could help it.

  What did they do to him?

  My stomach rolls as I follow Jaku. He stops next to a room and motions me inside.

  “Take all the time you need.” He stands inside the door frame. There's another guard outside the window, his back to us.

  I’m overly aware of being in Nash’s room—of how this is his space—but I can’t dwell on it when his life may hang in the balance.

  “Where's the blood?” I ask.

  “It's over there, by the bed, on the floor. There are a few drops.”

  Thank goodness there isn't more, but that doesn't mean it wasn't spilled.

  There's a bed, a dresser, and a washbasin with a clouded mirror over it. Simple furnishings. It doesn't surprise me. The walls are bare, but there are plenty of blankets on the bed. The bed that's unmade doesn't seem right.

  “Does he usually leave his bed unmade?”

  “I wouldn't know. I make it a point to give the officers, including him, as much privacy as possible, though our guards are taught to keep things clean.”

  Not helpful, but understandable. Nash was most likely taken during the night.

  I inch closer to the bed, studying the floor. Then I see it—a drop of red. And another.

  It's not much, but it's enough.

  My heart gives a painful squeeze.

  I get on my hands and knees to look underneath the bed.

  “What are you doing, Your Majesty? One of us can do that for you.”

  I ignore him. It's dark, but there's nothing here. Nash keeps this place immaculate.

  Just thinking of him hurts.

  I swipe my hand all the way under the bed to make sure I'm not missing anything. When nothing comes up, I get up and scour the room, looking over every nook and cranny, opening his drawers and riffling through his things.

  I don't even feel bad about it.

  But it does no good.

  There's nothing out of the ordinary.

  I look in the wash basin. Nothing. I fling the blankets off the bed and go through them one at a time. I search under the pillow. Still nothing.

  I have no clue as to where he’s gone, but there has to be something. I go over the floor again and again. Finally, I shut the door and search behind it. There’s a glint in one of the cracks. I did out my dagger and chip away at the wood around it until it’s loose. A gem.

  My throat closes up as I reach for it.

  It's cold in my hand.

  It looks exactly like one of the gems on the hilt of Daros's knife.

  I was right, and it's never felt so horrid. Not only is Nash gone, but Daros came for him personally.

  Nash doesn’t have a chance.

  Chapter 16

  I hesitate outside the room my guards have placed Nash's family in. I sent word to the council, but this is going to be much harder. What does one say to a family when their son has been taken by the cruelest man alive?

  I don't know.

  I steady myself and go inside, my escorts staying outside.

  “He's gone, isn't he?” Nash's mother says before I can form any words.

  “He’s been taken. I'm sorry.” Though that doesn't say nearly enough. Doesn't do nearly enough. I've brought this pain on them.

  I should have killed Daros when I had the chance.

  “It's not your fault,” she says with a sob. She grabs onto her closest daughter and heaves out wretched cries of anguish.

  His sisters are oddly quiet, though tears stream down their faces. I wish there was something I could do to comfort all three of them.

  But there's not.

  It's much too late for that.

  What happened in the past doesn’t matter. Only how we handle the future does. If he’s taken, he may not be dead yet. “I will find him and bring him back, whatever it takes.” Even if he’s dead by that point. I gulp past the tightness of my throat.

  His mother calms, though she doesn’t stop crying.

  “We've got our best men out looking for him,” I say. “I've ordered the military and off-duty guards to go look for him. I even ordered some guards on duty to stop and look for him.” They won’t find him, though.

  Daros will never be found unless he wants to.

  The same now holds true for Nash, unless Daros wants me to find them both. The thought sends a wave of chills down my back.

  “How will you find him?” Her shoulders are hunched in on themselves.

  That’s a good question. “I’ll tear apart all of Valcora if I have to.” And I mean it.

  “I'm sure you'll find him, then.” Though tempered by the waver in her voice, her words hold confidence.

  How can I break that?

  How can I tell her the truth? “You must know we believe him to have been taken by an escaped convict, intent on hurting me. Hopefully, that means nothing will happen to Nash while the criminal tries to do what he wants with me.”

  She breaks into a new round of tears, her daughters oscillating between comforting her and being upset themselves. When she gets a hold of herself, she says, “Forgive me for not introducing myself, Your Majesty. I am Slipa.”

  “Nash has talked about you before. Said good things.” It's all I can come up with to say to this woman. I have no words of comfort, to ease the pain.

  “Good. I'd have words with him if he didn't, when he got back.”

  I open my mouth, unsure what to say.

  Before I can speak, she says through her tears, “Don’t tell me any different. He's talked a lot about your abilities. His faith in you. I have to believe that, if anyone can find him, you can.”

  I choke.

  “Are you all right?” She moves to pat me on the back before pulling her hand back like it was bitten.

  She must have remembered the law.

  No one can comfort me.

  I choke back my feelings. “Please let my servants know if you need anything. I've arranged for you to have guards on your family at all times.”

  Just in case.

  “Oh, we don't need that. We’ll be safe at home.”

  “You will accept them and keep them with you.” My voice is firmer than I meant, but I'm not backing down.

  Daros could take one of them as a way to torture Nash.

  Nash. What must he be going through?

  I turn my head so they don't see the tears pooling in my eyes. Once I get a hold of myself, I say, “I will keep you updated as things progress.”

  “That would be appreciated. Please let us know if there's anything we can do,” Slipa says.

  I nod, wishing there was something they could do.

  They curtsy, Slipa and the girls’ cheeks still wet with tears.

  I leave the room, unable to bear any more. I have to find some way to accomplish the impossible—and get Nash back.

  Chapter 17

  I rub my temple with my thumb. Now would be the time to talk to Nash, instead of stewing by myself in my sitting room. To see his take on the subject. That's impossible when he’s the missing subject.

  I have everyone out looking for him. I gave them a list of places Daros is known to frequent. People he knows. But I know they won’t find anything, unless Daros wants them to.

  How did Daros know t
o take Nash? How did he know Nash meant more to me than anyone else? It's a mystery. Daros did everything he could to train the humanity out of me. What could have possibly clued him in to the fact my heart has softened toward Nash? Still, I should have known better than to let my feelings out. I would rather Daros took me instead.

  But maybe that's the point.

  I can handle these things. Did my whole life. Knowing someone I care about is going through them instead is tearing my guts apart. Makes me want to scream.

  I bite my lip until I taste blood.

  There's a knock, and I rush to it, hoping for news about Nash. All I need is him, safe and sound by my side.

  But when I answer, it's Jem.

  I leave the door open without a greeting and go sit in my chair in the corner.

  She enters, taking her time. I expect her to pick the seat as far from me as possible, but she surprises me by sitting right next to me.

  “I'm sorry they took him.” Her voice is soft.

  I grunt. What else am I supposed to do? Being sorry won't fix anything. I need him found. Need him back here. Safe.

  When I don't respond, she says, “I heard you made me your new Head Advisor.”

  Mention of that makes my head spin. I put my head in my hands, willing the world to stop tilting.

  “I don't know how hard this must be for you, but we have to keep the government running. We can't let it fall apart because one person was taken.”

  “One person? It wasn't just one person. It was Nash.” I raise my voice before I can stop myself. I continue anyway. “You have no idea what Daros will do to him. What pain and torture will be inflicted upon him.”

  She shrinks back in her chair. I bite my lip again, once again tasting blood. As much as I'm right, she has a point.

  I can't let myself fall apart.

  My people are counting on me.

  Even if I can't count on myself.

  “It's been a rough day.” It's the best I can do, to apologize.

  “I can't imagine.”

  I look at her. Really look. She has a contrite expression—soft eyes and down-turned lips. I believe her.

  “What now?” she asks.