Death's Queen (The Complete Series)

by Janeal Falor

  What would Nash want me to do? “We still need to arrange for me to meet with the people. Having them come to the throne room is a good idea. Make sure the ladies-in-waiting are organizing it.” It’s a wise move. Whoever took him is going to be watching for my reaction. Carrying on is the best thing I can do.

  “Consider it done. Do you want to meet with the council like normal?” she asks. “Or should I cancel that?”

  “I should go.” It's strange to be speaking with her like this. To hear her words so similar to Nash's. No sneer in her voice. No snide remarks. “Why are you being so kind and helpful?” I ask.

  She drops her gaze to her hands, a faint stain of pink on her cheeks. “I should have been so, from the beginning. But I'm determined not to let you down, now that I'm your Head Advisor.”

  Hmm. “Why were you rude at first?”

  She curls her hands together to form one tense ball. “I'm sorry, Your Majesty.”

  “I don't want apologies. I want a reason.”

  She takes a deep breath. “Because you were a nobody, who cut your way through us to drink the Mortum Tura. Because I was jealous of your bravery. Because I didn't want to become queen but knew it was my duty to try.”

  The First Queen told me not wanting the power of becoming queen would become so. Jem would have become queen then, had I not drank first. “Would you have let Ranen and Faya control you?”

  “Probably.” She presses her lips together tightly. “I didn't realize how bad they were. How self-serving they were. How much they wanted control of the kingdom. To me they were always nice and helped me learn the ways of court. Ranen didn't treat me like he treated you.”

  I can't believe she trusted them. I saved the country from being ruled by power-hungry people. But does it matter? I may not be power hungry, but now I'm obsessed with finding Nash. I can't imagine that's much better. In both cases, the good of the country comes second. “I'll forgive you for acting that way if you forgive me for being so rude.”

  Her eyebrows shoot upward as she widens her eyes. “A queen doesn't have to apologize for anything.”

  “If you haven't noticed, I'm not one to stand on conventions.”

  A smile works its way across her mouth. “I’ve noticed. Very well. I forgive you and will strive harder in the future to be kinder to you.”

  I think we understand each other better than we did before. My heart still hurts for Nash, though.

  There's a knock, and without being prompted, Jem answers it. This meeting shows she does know her place, while I'm floundering to find mine.

  Jem says, “It's a note, Your Majesty.”

  The servant walks in, bows, and hands me a note that's bulky before leaving. Something’s in the envelope that’s sealed with wax decorated with nothing but a circle.

  I open it with trembling fingers, wondering if it’s news or something mundane. Inside, there are not only words from his captors, but also Nash's ring, the silver dotted with blood.

  I clasp it in my fist, wishing more than anything that I could take his place.

  If you ever want to see your Head Advisor alive again, do as you’re told. You will lower taxes for the Kurah to almost nothing and raise them for everyone else back to how they were. Fail to do this within the hour, and he will be the one to pay.

  I hurry to the door and throw it open with a crash. “Who sent this?”

  A servant cowers in the middle of all my guards. He’s vaguely familiar from a few moments ago. He looks at his feet. “I brought it, Your Majesty.”

  “Where did you get it from?”

  “It was given to the guards at the portcullis by a little boy, Your Highness.” His voice quivers.

  I slam my door shut. They’re not going to find who it came from. “I have to meet with the council. Now.” My voice fills the room as I clutch the note and ring to me. I have to prevent Nash from coming to any more harm, even if it means raising taxes on those I most want to help. Can I pretend to raise taxes and then change them? Probably not, since taxes are paid weekly, something I should have changed. Now it’s too late.

  Why would Daros want this? What is his plan? How will he know I’ll stick to it after Nash is free? It makes my stomach curdle.

  Chapter 18

  I hurry along to the council room while Jem and my escorts walk around me. Jem's reading the note while I slip Nash's ring on my thumb. I will keep it safe. I'll keep him safe. And then, when he returns, I'll give it back to him.

  I just don't know how much else it'll take to heal him.

  I haven't healed yet myself from my years with Daros.

  “You can't follow through with this,” Jem says as we rush through the hallways.

  I glare at her. “What do you mean, I can't?”

  “If you give into their demands, everyone will know you can be persuaded by outside influences and how to manipulate you.”

  “But if I don't do this, Nash will die.”

  She hesitates. “They could be bluffing.”

  “Daros isn’t the type to bluff.”

  “I don't mean to be insensitive, and I know it's hard, but a queen cannot give in to blackmail.”

  She’s right; I can’t allow this to affect me. I’m not sure how to do that, though. “Will you have a servant fetch Nash’s family?”

  “Right away.”

  It takes some time for them to come, and I think of what to tell them. Of what I should do. When they come in, they have red-rimmed, puffy eyes. I avert my gaze. “Please, be seated.”

  They pick seats nearby. His mother, Slipa, is the first to speak. “Is there news of him? Is he coming back?”

  I have to shatter the hope in her eyes. I wish I didn’t. “If I don’t lower taxes for the Kurah and up them for the Poruah and Medi in the next half hour or so, the person that holds Nash is going to hurt him.”

  Lanay’s mouth forms an O. She says, “You’re going to do what they say, yes?”

  “Lanay, the queen will do what’s best. We aren’t to question her.”

  Slipa looks at me unwaveringly.

  I can’t hold her gaze. “I can’t give into them.” But oh, how I want to.

  Belta surprises me by getting down on her knees. “Please, Your Majesty. Please. I’ll do anything if you give in to their demands. We can’t go on without my brother. We can’t lose him like we lost our father.” She clasps her hands together, eyes filled to the brim with tears.

  How can I deny her what my heart wants? At the same time, how can I say yes? I can fix the taxes back after Nash returns, right? So what’s stopping me from doing everything I can to get him back and maybe find Daros in the process? He’ll let his guard down if he thinks I’m complying, and I’ll get both him and Nash—Daros to go to the chopping block and Nash back on my side.

  Daros has to know I’ll consider this, though. Why would he ask me to change something I can just change back later? I don’t have an answer to that, but I know what I’m going to do. “I’ll take care of your brother.”

  Belta collapses backward, only to be picked up by Lanay, who says, “Thank you, Your Majesty. Thank you. Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to us.”

  Because of my feelings for Nash, I may have an inkling.

  “You will get him back, won’t you?” Slipa looks so weak, like she’s lost ten pounds since I last saw her. Like she’s losing her strength to fight with her son in an evil man’s hands.

  “I will.” I put all the conviction I can in those words, even if I don’t entirely believe them.

  I stand, and they jump to their feet. I see them out and head to the council room to make the change before I decide this isn’t a good idea.

  “See that Nash’s family gets home safely,” I say to the closest guard.

  “Yes, Your Highness.”

  “Your Majesty.” Jem appears from behind one of the guards waiting outside my rooms. “Where are you going?”

  “To change the taxes.”

  “You can’t do that.”


  I stop and turn toward her so fast one of my guards almost runs into me. “I will do this. Nothing you say will stop me.”

  I stride on. She doesn't follow for a moment but eventually catches up to me. Only this time, she stays silent.

  The council room is only half-full of people left from the last meeting. Those here bow or curtsy. I tell them to rise as I take a seat. I don't care for social norms usually—less so today. “I want the rest of the council here in five minutes, or we're starting without them.”

  Servants at the edges of the room scramble out, no doubt to tell those not here what kind of mood I'm in. Fine by me. The sooner we get this taken care of, the sooner Nash will be safe.

  If I’m going to do this, I want to make certain it works.

  Time ticks by, like a dagger repeatedly thrown in the wrong spot. It does no good to watch the clock or listen to those murmuring around me. I want this done and over with. People are trickling in, but not fast enough.

  As I wait, I survey each person in the room. Who here is a traitor? Which of them are going to report to Daros what I say here today? It could be any of them. All of them.

  No. I'm getting carried away. If it was all of them, Daros would have an easy enough time killing me and putting someone pliable on the throne. I glace at Jem out of the corner of my eye. Is she still pliable, or would she stick up for herself now? She certainly isn't afraid to tell me what she thinks.

  Four minutes. Close enough to five, though we're still missing a few people.

  Without preamble, I say, “I am reverting the taxes. Not just that, but I'm lowering them further for the Kurah.”

  Timit gives a smug smile. “This will make our economy grow. You are wiser than your years, my lady.”

  I ignore his flattery. He might as well be the one working with Daros, as far as I'm concerned. And he never reported back to me on the finances and whether my plan would sustain the country. Do leaders of other countries have this many problems?

  “But, Your Highness,” Yuka says, “the people are so excited about the changes you made. I ask that you please reconsider.”

  “Not everyone is excited,” Kada says.

  “It's true. I think many will be much happier after this change.” Timit's sausage lips turn upward.

  “It doesn't matter what the people think,” I say, wishing it were true. “This law is changing.”

  Several council members talk over one another. I silence them all. “We're done arguing about this. It's happening. Timit, I want the word spread within half an hour in Indell and as soon as horses can be sent to the rest of the country.”

  “But, Your Majesty, these things take time.”

  I bang my fist on the table. “Get it done.”

  “Yes, Your Highness. If you will excuse me, I have people I need to speak with.”

  I never thought I'd see him run, but after a quick bow, that’s exactly what he does.

  “Any questions?” My voice is rough. Jaded. “Good,” I say when nobody speaks.

  “My lady,” Mina's voice is fain.

  “What is it?”

  “I'm afraid we can't continue to have the army and guards out looking for Nash Zorris. I know he was your Head Advisor, and we all respect that, but it's putting too great of a strain on the country to have so many of our people out looking for him.”

  There are murmurs of agreement.

  We need to save him, but how do I make them to understand it? “I get that it's a strain, but what would you want me to do if you were the one kidnapped?” I look each of them in the eyes, ignoring the guilt that has me wondering if I would do the same for them. “Would you want me to leave you there, because it's inconvenient?”

  They look away but don't say anything.

  “That settles it. I'm not going to let the kidnappers get away with this. We will find Nash, and we will bring those who took him to justice.” If only my words were true. It's hard to believe them.

  As I head back toward my rooms, I can't help but think maybe they’re right. I am putting Nash before my country. Before everything.

  But I don't know what else to do.

  Chapter 19

  As I walk through the halls, I can't help wondering if that was enough to save Nash's life. It might not be the right thing to do, but I'm going to stick to it.

  There's no guarantee Daros will hold up to his end of the bargain. There's no telling he’s not doing things to harm Nash. I'd stake my life on the fact that Daros is torturing him. Even without the blood on his ring, I'd know that.

  Daros won't be doing the deed himself. He has others for that. Though that does beg the question—why was his jewel in Nash's room to begin with? Why would Daros stoop to kidnapping Nash himself? Because I know he didn't give that knife to anyone; it wouldn't leave his hands.

  What's done is done. I hope they aren't pushing him past his breaking point.

  Jem enters my sitting room after me. I should have known she wouldn't let things go.

  “What do you need?” I ask.

  She gives a curtsy. She does that much too frequently. “I want to help, Your Majesty. What can I do?”

  I lift an eyebrow, not certain if there's more to it. I'm going to utilize her anyway, because she's offering and because I need extra hands. “I would like to send a note to Nash's family. Would you please write what I dictate?” I could write it myself, but it'd take a lot longer and be harder to read.

  “Let me get some paper and ink, and I will do as you ask.”

  As she goes out, I say to the nearest servant in the hall, “Send for Jaku. I want to speak with him as soon as I'm done with Jem. Also, I will need one of my ladies-in-waiting, along with a couple of guards.”

  “Yes, Your Majesty.” The servant hurries off, hopefully to carry out my will.

  I return to my room. There are so many memories here. So much life. Nash and I almost always talked in here. He taught me. Was patient with me. Helped me.

  We fought in here, both verbally and physically. I wish I'd never argued with him, but I miss the sparring. I didn’t do a good enough job teaching him if they were able to get to him and drag him off.

  The thought of him suffering brings me to my knees. I pull on my hair with a growl. They can't do this. I'll never forgive myself for not killing Daros when I had the chance. So what if I made a promise to myself never to kill again?

  It was a stupid promise.

  The door opens. I don't move from my spot.

  “Your Majesty, what are you doing on the floor?” Jem rushes to my side.

  I point at the low table, pretending it's normal to be caught down here. “You can write there.”

  She draws her eyebrows together and opens her mouth to say something, but stops herself. She scoots over to the low table, opting to sit on the floor as well. No doubt she finds it offensive that I would make her do this, but I don't have enough energy to budge.

  “What would you like me to write?” she asks, quill ready.

  I dictate slowly, thinking about what to say and giving her time to write.

  * * *

  Dear Slipa,

  In regards to your son, I am extending every effort to bring him back to us.

  * * *

  I want to say in one piece, but that's not a promise I can make. I'm not sure I should be offering either of us any hope, but I have to do what I can.

  * * *

  I went ahead and changed the taxes as requested. I am doing so in the hopes they will return him to us soon, though I have no guarantee. Please rest assured that I am doing everything in my power. Nash will come back to us. I will make certain of it.”

  * * *

  I stop before I make more promises I can't keep and sign my name. A name I have because Nash encouraged me to pick one out.

  I choke back a sob.

  Jem doesn't seem to notice. She folds up the note and seals it. “I will get this sent immediately.”

  When I've gotten control of myself, I say,
“No. I requested a lady-in-waiting and some guards to deliver it. I want to make certain Nash’s mother gets it and that she knows how personally invested I am in finding her son.”

  Jem taps the letter on her hand. “I understand you care for him, but you can't devote everything we have into finding him.”

  I turn toward the window, squeezing my eyes shut against the pain. “You've made yourself clear.”

  The tapping sounds a few more times, followed by her faint footsteps. The door opens. I blink a few times before facing her and those who entered. Pina, my youngest lady in waiting, is in the hall with several more guards than usual and Jaku.

  “Jem has a letter that needs to be delivered to Nash's mother,” I tell Pina. “Wilric will give your guards directions to find her home. Please deliver it and offer her my personal apologizes for being unable to bring it myself.”

  “Yes, Your Majesty.” Pina curtseys and takes the note from Jem before hurrying away.

  “Jaku, enter. Jem, it's up to you whether you stay or not.”

  She skirts back into the room, following Jaku.

  “Give me an update,” I tell Jaku.

  His mouth is a grim line, his eyes sad. “I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I have no news to report as of yet.”

  I want to punch something.

  Jem speaks up. “What are you doing to search for him?”

  Jaku slides his gaze to me before returning it to Jem. “We have men out in the entire city, looking.”

  “That's it?” Jem asks when he doesn't say more. “What about the countryside? What about other cities? Indell is not the only place they could be keeping him.”

  Why haven’t we been looking for him farther out? I’m so used to Daros working in the city, I hadn’t thought outside of that.

  “Forgive me, but we don't have enough men for that. Even now, my guards are stretched thin.”

  I clear my throat. It's raw and I don't want to talk, but I force myself. “Don't stretch yourselves any thinner. I don't want anyone else hurt or taken while we're looking for him. Send word to the guards in other cities and alert them to the possibility Nash could be with them. They should keep an eye out for him.”