Lucky

by J. M. Dabney

  “Never had a curfew.”

  “What about when you wanted to go somewhere, but your parents said no and you did it anyway.”

  “Um, nope, we came and went as we pleased.”

  “Your first sexual experience?”

  Oh shit, he braced himself because he knew this was going to spiral out of control. Lucky’s favorite subject was sex.

  “Came home and told the parents, Ma bought me the condoms said I was unfit to breed, but being gay I told her it was kinda pointless, I just didn’t want the clap. The guy was older and more experienced. You never know where someone has been.”

  Priest swore Dr. Campbell started to choke but covered with a cough and a sip from her coffee cup.

  “Sex is natural. Fetish is Fetish some weirder than others, but whatever helps you get it up or stroke one out. Mom and Dad tried an open relationship for a while. Quite a few boyfriends and girlfriends for both, Dad’s bi and Ma isn’t choosy. Getting off is getting off.

  “Don’t get any ideas, doc; the hospital said I was weird not crazy.”

  Priest chuckled and leaned into Lucky’s body as Lucky slipped a lean arm across his shoulders.

  “Have you tried medication?”

  “That’s for people that don’t embrace their crazy. Insanity is such a weird concept. Normal people get all kinds of weird ideas. A person doesn’t fit some mold and all the sudden people in the white coats want to lock them up. Shameful.”

  “What about Matt? Do you think he’s crazy?”

  “Hell no, he smart, handsome, cute as fuck when he gets all stuttering when someone flirts with him, oh, and don’t forget funny and a great cuddler.”

  “Cuddler?”

  Priest cringed as he looked down and suddenly found the frayed knee of his jeans fascinating. It was one subject he’d never brought up with Dr. Campbell. He always felt it would bring up questions he wasn’t ready to answer.

  “Yea, he curls up with me most nights, except for the last two nights and I called his ass on that bullshit. Besides, when he sleeps with me, it’s like having my own electric blanket. Dude loves to sleep on top, and he must have some vivid dreams.” Lucky suggestively waggled his brows.

  He rolled his eyes and elbowed his friend in the ribs. “Lucky, you have to bring that up?”

  “Yea, she asked a question, I warned her. And you know me; you should already know better.”

  “He doesn’t appear to have intimacy issues with you, then why the Touch workshop?”

  “Oh, we don’t have that kind of intimacy, but a man would be a eunuch not to be tempted. Because all that furry skin makes a man’s mouth water, but that’s not the point.”

  That was the point. His ex had always made him wax—everything. Stubble covered cheeks weren’t acceptable. No one in his life ever told him he made their mouth water. Priest couldn’t take his eyes off Lucky even when he continued as if he didn’t shock the hell out of him.

  “Priest flinches when people get too close, closes down when someone starts to flirt with him. I just thought they’d be able to help him get over whatever aversion he has to touch.”

  “You’d be his partner at these sessions, right?”

  “Yea, no one else is gonna do it. They won’t understand Priest doesn’t like something and I won’t let some fucker scare my pretty bear. So, what do you say, Doc, do you think it’ll help or hurt?”

  “If Matt is agreeable I don’t see a problem with him attending the workshop, but if he has any issues—bad feelings then he should leave. He’s been forced—”

  “Stop right there, doc, I’d never force Priest into anything. I may have only recently discovered why he has problems with intimacy, but I suspected. Those men are in his past and will stay there. Unless Priest wants to give me details, I don’t need to know.”

  “But what about your Radical Honesty philosophy?”

  “This isn’t about honesty; it’s about comfort and safety. When or if he ever feels safe enough to share—”

  “Lucky, I’ve always felt safe with you.”

  Lucky shrugged his shoulders and went silent; that was unnatural for him.

  “Why don’t I talk to Matt alone for the rest of the session?”

  Lucky nodded, and then leaned over to kiss Priest on the mouth. “You want me to wait around?”

  “No, you can go ahead. You’ll be bouncing around the waiting room and making the receptionist nervous.”

  “Yea yea, nice to meet you, Doc.”

  “You as well, Lucky, I can honestly say it’s been one of my more interesting sessions.”

  Priest couldn’t take his gaze off Lucky as the man stood to exit the office. The soft click of the door deafening in the silence. With Lucky’s departure, the peace he felt disappeared and the always present panic which existed at the back of his brain began to build.

  “Why haven’t you ever mentioned Lucky or the sleeping arrangements before?

  He turned back to her, turned the questions over in his mind searching for the right answer, and the only one he could come up with he couldn’t voice—he was in love with weird and accident-prone Lucky Trenton. And the possibility of what he wanted frightened him.

  5 LET’S CUDDLE THE FUCK OUTTA EACH OTHER

  Priest was pushed up tight behind him on Lucky’s motorcycle as they pulled up to the commune where they held the workshop. He noticed Priest became tenser the closer they got, and now Priest’s hands were knotted in the front of his t-shirt. This weekend wasn’t about making his bear more nervous. He pulled to a stop in front the building marked office and cut the engine.

  “Do you want to go,” Lucky asked. “We can head home, and you can pick a movie, even one of those sappy movies you like. I’ll hate but for you’d I’d suffer through it.”

  “Don’t you ever lie?”

  He ignored the question. “So, what’s it gonna be?”

  “You won’t leave me alone, right?”

  “No, I’ll be there every fucking second until you get sick of me.”

  “I don’t think that would ever happen.”

  “Let’s go get checked in. I sprung for one of those fancy private cabins. I know how you love your bubble baths. Which I think is totally weird, but whatever.”

  Priest pushed at his shoulders and Lucky patted his Priest’s thick thigh to get him moving. The other man swung off and stood beside Lucky’s bike. He removed his half helmet as Priest did the same. He didn’t tell Priest he’d signed them up as a couple to do sessions except for the first day of meet and greet shit.

  He dismounted and grabbed Priest’s hand to tug him towards the office. Chimes rang as he opened the door. A graying woman with a kind face wearing a long, flowing dress greeted them.

  “Good afternoon, Gentlemen.”

  He snorted, and it earned him an elbow to the ribs. “Don’t abuse the love of your life.”

  “Behave, at least until we get checked in.”

  “Fine,” He huffed and turned back to the lady. “I’m Lee Trenton.”

  “Mr. Trenton, I’m Laurie, whatever you require just let me know.”

  “Thanks. My man is demanding as—”

  “Lucky, we’re among strangers, watch your language.”

  “Why I adore you baffles me.”

  “Have you two been together long?”

  “Three years,” Lucky answered, and it earned him a grunt from Priest. He may be weird, but he’d known what he wanted since he’d hugged Priest the first time.

  “Your cabin is all ready. Just sign these forms, and I’ll run your card.”

  He reached back and pulled his wallet from his pocket; he opened it to remove his card. Sliding the card across the counter, he reached for a pen to sign the papers.

  “Here’s the itinerary for the weekend with couple and group activities. Tonight, you’ll get settled in, tomorrow morning after breakfast there’s a group activity where introductions are made, and you’ll share what brought you here. It’s not required to give your r
easons, but introductions are, and the coordinator will explain the rules.”

  “What about dinner?”

  “You can either order room service or join everyone in the communal cabin.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Once you pull out, you’ll take a left, and you’re in cabin 12. It’s the most private one, just as you requested.”

  “Requested,” Priest asked.

  “We’ll talk it about when we get settled.”

  “Yes we’re going to.”

  Oh, he didn’t like that fucking tone. It’s the one Priest used when he thought Lucky did something wrong. Fifteen minutes and he was already in fucking trouble. Great.

  They exited the office, hopped back on the bike and drove towards their cabin. It was one large room with a small fridge, sink and counter with a coffee maker under three cabinets. There was one bed, a sitting area, no t.v., but they’d each brought their laptops. He laid their backpacks on the bed.

  “What did you tell them?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You know what I'm saying.”

  “Fuck, okay, we’re here as boyfriends. I knew you would get all freaked out about other people touching you. We’re gonna work on intimacy, but there won’t be no fucking involved. Maybe if ya want to take a chance on a cuddle puddle thing then we’ll do it. If ya don’t like any of this shit, we’ll check out and head the hell home.”

  “You don’t have problems with touching and sex.”

  He couldn’t interpret Priest’s tone; he thought he heard wistfulness. His obsession with observing Priest over the years and anticipating his needs and moods made him an expert on his man. It was just a matter of patience.

  “But you do, and people need touch, not so much sex. Fucking is mostly about getting off. Making love is completely different. This weekend isn’t about that. Touch is fucking important.” He’d grown up in a house where affection was a natural thing. Lucky couldn’t imagine the life Priest led without touch or love, but worse the touch of others that made him fearful years later.

  “You’re obsessed with sex.”

  Lucky watched Priest dig through his bag for his e-reader and set it on the nightstand. He knew talk of sex made Priest uncomfortable. He’d be lying if he didn’t want Priest under, on top or his hands and knees, but he didn’t want fucking with Priest. Maybe one day they’d get down and dirty. His goal, for now, was to get his bear used to more than the innocent touches.

  “Man, getting off is fucking amazing. It doesn't matter if it’s by hand, mouth or a tight ass, it’s a transcendent experience. That look in your man’s eyes the first time you push in, the way his mouth falls open a bit on a moan and his pupils become blown, nothing fucking like it.”

  “I don’t need to know about you and sex with other—” Priest’s cheeks were flaming red above his ginger beard.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” Priest’s voice cracked, and Lucky knew the man was lying.

  “Cut the fucking bullshit. We don’t lie to each other—ever. You save that shit for everyone else. Don’t fucking insult me.”

  Wide, green eyes turned toward him with a hint of hurt shining in them, but Lucky turned away and ripped his shirt over his head throwing it over his backpack. Guilt wasn’t something he was used to, hell, he didn’t think he’d ever felt it before. He knew fucking well he’d never raised his voice to Priest. His bear was too sweet.

  “I need to make a phone call to let Ma know we got here.” He strode quickly towards the door then rushed outside pulling his phone out as he went.

  Lucky pressed the speed dial for his parents’ phone.

  “You fucked up, didn’t you?”

  He rolled his eyes, how his mother knew any time he fucked up was a pain in the ass. She also didn’t have a problem calling him on it either.

  “Ma, don’t start, where’s Dad?”

  “Put our least fucked up child on speaker.”

  He snorted at his Dad’s voice.

  “Okay, we’re both here, what did you do?”

  “I fucking yelled at him.”

  “What could Priest do to make you yell at him. That would be like kicking a puppy,” Lily screeching in his ear wasn’t helping his mood.

  “He lied to me.”

  “Son, not everyone was raised to open their mouth and verbally vomit every thought in their head.”

  “But he’s never blatantly fucking lied to me before.”

  “Okay, let’s think rationally for a moment, what happened before he allegedly—”

  “There’s no fucking alleged about it.”

  “Fine, what did you do,” Lily demanded.

  “Why is this always my fucking fault?”

  “We’re off topic, son, your mother is just trying to be understanding.”

  “She’s not helping,” And again he raised his voice. Another bad habit he didn’t need.

  “Go to the bathroom and jerk one out because you’re tenser than a virgin in a Viagra factory.”

  “What the fuck does that even mean?”

  “It means abstinence is unnatural for Lee Eros Trenton.”

  He cringed at her use of his entire name. She only did it to piss him off. “Motherfucker, can we not use my full name?”

  “As far as I know I don’t fuck Mothers that would be your father’s job.”

  “Can we get off the topic of my parents fucking or who they fuck and my lack of coitus with my pretty bear and get back on fucking topic?

  “Coitus,” Lily snorted and giggled like a dirty-minded teen boy.

  “Why did I call you two to help me? Please fucking enlighten me.”

  “Because all your friends think you’re an asshole and want to murder you in your sleep?”

  “I’m hanging the fuck up because you're mean,” Lucky pouted as he listened to Lily’s laugh at his expense.

  “Lily, go relax, let me talk to Lucky.”

  “He’s being sensitive.”

  He listened to her huff, but then it went quiet.

  “Son, what have we talked about?”

  “Don’t bait the evil one in training.”

  “No,” Damon chuckled. “And don’t let her hear you say that.”

  “Why not? It’s true.”

  “No, it’s not. We’ve talked about you having a softer approach with Priest. His treatment was unconscionable. You yelling at him isn’t going to help. You’ve attuned yourself to his every mood since the moment you met him. How do you think he felt when you treated him like you did?”

  “You made your point. I’m an asshole.”

  “You’re not an asshole, son; we raised you to be too honest and sometimes that comes off as being a dick. Priest knows you probably better than anyone else, but despite his gorgeous body—”

  “Quit thinking about my man’s body.”

  Damon continued like Lucky hadn’t spoken, “And the handsome face he’s vulnerable and fragile, and how do we treat vulnerable partners?”

  “With the utmost respect and love as we foster feelings of self-worth and safety.”

  “Exactly, now get your hippie ass back to Priest and make it up to your man or I may revisit the option of an open relationship so that I can take care of him.”

  “And I’ll tell Ma you tried to sleep with her sister,”

  “Please, I already told your mother that, they’re identical twins. Besides that’s a threesome we won’t mention.”

  “You’re fucking sick, man, just sick, now, I’ll never be able to look at Aunt Rose again.”

  “Then don’t make threats you have no chance of carrying through. Besides, it sounded more enjoyable than it was.”

  He disconnected the call without a word. Maybe talking to Priest’s shrink wasn’t a bad idea. He knew he wasn’t normal, he could get some meds and then heavily dose his family. Lucky shoved his phone into his pocket and took a calming breath before he walked back inside. Priest perched on the edge of the bed with his hands twisted on
his lap.

  “I’m sorry. I’m an asshole.”

  “You’ve never gotten mad at me before.”

  Lucky approached the bed and sat down next to Priest. He tried not to frown when Priest leaned away. Priest never shied away from his touch. “I wasn’t mad just frustrated. You never lie to me. I thought we were passed that shit.”

  “I didn’t lie; it really was nothing. Where did you go?”

  “I went to call Ma and Dad.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I yelled at you.”

  “And,” Priest asked.

  “They implied I was an asshole who needs to treat you with the utmost respect to show you your self-worth and make sure you always feel safe.”

  “Is that what you believe?”

  “Of course, you ain’t perfect, but you’re damn close.”

  “Smooth, Trenton, really smooth.”

  “I try. You want me to run you a bath so you can relax while I order dinner?”

  “You don’t have to—”

  “I got this shit, I know just how you like it. I gotta make up for being a bastard. I must take care of my bear, right? I rhymed it was like poetry or some shit.”

  “Go away.”

  “Ma was already fucking mean to me, don’t you start.” Lucky leaned in and gave Priest a quick kiss, then bounced off the bed and headed for the bathroom grabbing the bottle of Priest’s bubble bath. He thought it was cute how much Priest loved his baths. It was his happy place at the end of the day.

  Tomorrow was soon enough to get into the deep shit. For tonight it would just be Priest and him. At least he knew Priest would sleep next to him. It was the only thing he’d fucking had for the last two years, but he hoped this weekend would change something even if it didn’t make his pretty bear see him as more than his best friend. It was more important Priest found himself and his safety.

  6 THAT’S NEW

  The scent of a familiar incense he recognized as one of Lucky’s favorites filled the large room. There was a circle of cushions littered around the room. The door had a sign that had said Couple’s Workshop. Priest already sat through the introductions and the rules, they were also informed of a cuddle group later that evening. He watched couples filing in, mostly straight, but a few lesbian, it appeared Lucky and him were the only male couple.