Dork Diaries 6: Tales From a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

by Rachel Renée Russell

  I wanted to slap that smile right off her face.

  But before I could answer, MacKenzie turned her back to me and started gushing to Brandon about how much she was looking forward to seeing all of the great photos he’d taken with that new camera she’d given him for his birthday.

  I could NOT believe that girl was ignoring me right to my face like that. And get this! She kept blabbing her big fat mouth right up until our teacher arrived.

  Which totally RUINED my chance to talk to Brandon BEFORE class. And if MacKenzie had her way, she’d HOG all of his attention and totally RUIN my chance to talk to him AFTER class TOO!

  I was sick and tired of her little mind games.

  So that’s when I decided I’d just give Brandon my card DURING class! Hey, I sat right next to him!

  And MacKenzie couldn’t do a thing to stop me.

  Because our class had performed poorly on our pop quiz yesterday, Ms. Kincaid planned to spend the entire hour at the board diagramming the Krebs cycle while we took notes.

  OMG! Her lecture was SO boring I thought my brain was going to melt and ooze out of my ears . . . .

  “The citric acid cycle—also known as the Krebs cycle—is a series of chemical reactions used by all aerobic organisms to generate energy through the oxidization of acetate derived from carbohydrates, fats, and proteins into carbon dioxide. In addition . . .”

  I stared at Brandon for what seemed like FOREVER waiting for him to look in my direction. But he was busy taking notes.

  That’s when I took my pencil and gently poked his arm.

  At first he looked slightly startled, then a little confused.

  I pulled the card out of my notebook and mouthed the words “For YOU!”

  He blinked in surprise and then pointed at himself, as if to say “For ME?!”

  I nodded my head. “Yes!”

  As I watched Ms. Kincaid out of the corner of my eye, I quickly shoved the card in Brandon’s direction.

  However, I think that supercute smile of his must have affected my nervous system and messed up my hand-eye coordination or something. Because the valentine slid right past him, glided across the floor, and landed ten inches from Ms. Kincaid’s left foot!

  I wanted to jump out of my seat and try to grab it before she saw it.

  But someone right behind me started to cough.

  Really loudly.

  And because it was such an obviously FAKE cough, I guessed that it was MacKenzie.

  Distracted by the noise, Ms. Kincaid turned around.

  I pretended not to notice the big glittery red valentine lying on the floor right in front of her. But it didn’t matter because everyone else in the room was staring at it like it was a six-foot-long two-headed flesh-eating snake.

  “Okay, people. I’m up here trying to teach you this stuff! And someone has decided to disrupt the class by handing out valentines a day early?!!”

  Everyone snickered.

  “So, who does THIS belong to?” she asked as she reached down and picked up the card.

  The room was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Neither Brandon nor I felt morally obligated to offer a confession.

  He kept HIS mouth shut because if I brought the card to class, it belonged to ME (not HIM).

  And I kept MY mouth shut because if I’d just given the card away, it technically belonged to HIM (not ME).

  Unfortunately, my cover was quickly blown. Probably because the back of the card had three-inch letters that said “From Nikki.” DUH!!

  “Miss Maxwell, I think this belongs to you!” Ms. Kincaid said, glaring at me.

  “Um, it kind of fell out of my notebook. Accidentally,” I muttered.

  “Really? So you weren’t passing notes in class?”

  “Actually, I wouldn’t really call it a note?” I mumbled. “It’s more of a . . . card.”

  The class snickered again.

  “Actually, I—I was hoping you wouldn’t share it with the class?” I stammered.

  More laughter. OMG! I was SO embarrassed. I wanted to dig a really deep hole right in the middle of the floor, crawl into it, and . . . DIE!

  Brandon’s cheeks were flushed, and he looked really nervous.

  Ms. Kincaid read the card silently, crossed her arms, and stared at me.

  Then, choosing to spare Brandon the massive embarrassment, she turned, marched across the room, and tossed my valentine onto her desk.

  “Nikki, please see me after class!”

  I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. MacKenzie, now miraculously cured from her coughing affliction, had this smug little look on her face.

  Brandon shrugged and mouthed the word “Sorry!”

  But I just stared blankly straight ahead.

  I could NOT believe that MacKenzie had totally set me up! AGAIN!! I was so mad I could SPIT!!

  And now I was going to get a note sent home to my parents and possibly even an after-school detention.

  Finally the bell rang and bio was over.

  Brandon actually looked kind of upset. “I’m really sorry about what happened, Nikki! I’ll just wait for you right outside the door until you’re done talking to the teacher, okay?”

  “Don’t worry! It was just a stupid card. I’ll be fine. Really!” I said, trying to muster a smile. “The last thing you need is a tardy.”

  “I guess you’re right. I just feel bad since you made that card for me.” Suddenly his face brightened. “Hey! I’m going to hang out at Fuzzy Friends after school today. The bakery across the street makes some mean cupcakes! Why don’t you stop by? It’ll be my treat! Besides, we haven’t really talked much since my birthday.”

  “Yeah, that would be very cool, actually!” I blushed.

  “But I’m supposed to watch Brianna after school today. I’ll text my mom and ask if I—”

  “MISS MAXWELL!” Ms. Kincaid interrupted. “Whenever you’re done chatting, I’ll be here WAITING . . . !”

  “Sorry!” I said to Brandon, rolling my eyes. “I’ll see you later. Maybe.”

  “Later. Hopefully!” Brandon smiled and gave me a thumbs-up. Then he headed for the door.

  I shoved all of my stuff into my backpack and slowly walked up to my teacher’s desk.

  “Um, you wanted to see me?” I muttered. I was expecting the worst.

  “Nikki, I’ve noticed you’ve been really distracted lately. Yesterday you drew a cartoon on your quiz, and today you were disrupting class by giving out valentines instead of taking notes. Is everything okay?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m okay, I guess. It’s just that the Sweetheart Dance is tomorrow. I planned to ask Brandon yesterday, but we had that pop quiz. Then today you confiscated my card before I could give it to him. So things are just . . . cruddy!” I explained, trying to ignore the large lump in my throat.

  Suddenly Ms. Kincaid smiled and shook her head.

  “When I was your age, I thought I’d NEVER survive middle school! But I did, and so will YOU. Here!” she said, handing my valentine back to me. Then she winked at me. “Good luck!”

  I just stared at her with my mouth open. I was so shocked, I didn’t know what to say.

  “Thank you! I can’t believe you just . . . ! Thank you!” I sputtered.

  “Now, I’m warning you, Miss Maxwell. No more funny business in my class, or you’re going to be doodling crabs AND giving out valentines in DETENTION.”

  I did my Snoopy “happy dance” all the way to the library. Inside my head!

  My Plan A had failed. But now I had a Plan B!

  I would meet Brandon at Fuzzy Friends after school. Then, while we shared a yummy cupcake, I’d give him my valentine.

  SQUEEE !!

  He’d say YES! And by this time tomorrow my BFFs and I would be just hours away from our very first dates.

  A triple date! Just like we’d dreamed of!

  I texted my mom, and she said I could hang out at Fuzzy Friends, but only for forty-five minutes since it was a school night and I ha
d homework.

  Finally school was over! It was hard to believe that in just ten minutes it was going to be official.

  I’d actually be going to the Sweetheart Dance with Brandon! SQUEEE !!

  I was at my locker getting my coat when I got two texts barely a minute apart. I thought they were from my mom. But I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were from . . . BRANDON!

  However, I gasped in shock when I read them . . . .

  *****

  FROM BRANDON:

  Hey MacKenzie,

  What’s up! Wasn’t bio crazy today?

  3:07 p.m.

  *****

  FROM BRANDON:

  Sorry, Nikki! My bad. Wrong #.

  3:08 p.m.

  *****

  OMG! I had a meltdown right there at my locker!

  HOW COULD BRANDON

  ACCIDENTALLY SEND A TEXT

  MEANT FOR MACKENZIE TO ME?!!

  I don’t know if I was more angry or disgusted! It seemed like Brandon was ALWAYS talking to MacKenzie or working on some random newspaper project with her.

  And now it was quite obvious he was TEXTING her on a pretty regular basis too!

  All while inviting ME to hang out at Fuzzy Friends and eat cupcakes with him??!! I mean, WHO does that?!!

  I reached into my backpack and dug out that wrinkled magazine article, “How to Know if a Guy Is Just NOT Into You.”

  I read it over, then crossed off the last item left on the list:

  5. He’s spending way too much time with another girl.

  I sighed and blinked back my tears. I felt so STUPID!

  Brandon was NOT interested in me at all.

  And according to the EXPERTS, he’d done all FIVE of the things on the magazine checklist! I’d carefully documented each and every one . . . .

  I had to stop fooling myself.

  Brandon and MacKenzie were an item and were probably going to the dance together.

  And even if they weren’t, there was still NO WAY I could ask Brandon to the dance after receiving those last two texts!

  How could he be really good friends with MacKenzie when she treated ME so badly?

  And WHY would he want to be friends with her?! She was a mean, spoiled, manipulative, vain . . . DRAMA QUEEN! And those were her BEST qualities!

  Tomorrow I’ll break the news to Chloe and Zoey that I won’t be going to the dance with them. I know they’re going to be disappointed and all, but this whole Brandon thing is NOT working out.

  I just hope they’ll understand.

  It’s really sad losing a good friend like Brandon to MacKenzie. And the last thing I want is to lose my BFFs, too.

  Then I’d be all alone at this school again.

  I sighed deeply and slammed my locker door shut just as MacKenzie and Jessica brushed past me, giggling.

  “OMG! Jess!” MacKenzie gushed. “Guess who just texted me?!”

  She showed her phone to Jessica. Then they both squealed in excitement like two baby pigs or something.

  I didn’t want to fight with MacKenzie.

  I didn’t want to go to the dance with Brandon.

  I didn’t want to disappoint my BFFs.

  All I REALLY wanted to do was rush home and have a really good CRY!

  But first I had to stop by the girls’ bathroom.

  Only, it wasn’t for the most obvious reason.

  I sniffed and wiped away a tear that had trickled down my cheek.

  Then I ripped Brandon’s valentine into tiny pieces and flushed it down the toilet!

  !!

  FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14

  I had pretty much accepted the fact that I WASN’T going to the Sweetheart Dance. But I still felt disappointed, hurt, and just plain miserable.

  I must have been pretty traumatized by the whole thing, because I had the most horrible nightmare!

  It was the night of the Sweetheart Dance, and I was at home putting dishes in the dishwasher and feeling kind of depressed about my life.

  Suddenly my fairy godmother appeared and waved her magic wand. She turned my heart pj’s into a beautiful evening gown and my bunny slippers into glass slippers.

  Then she waved her wand again and turned Brianna’s Princess Sugar Plum Magical Flying Car (with real working headlights) into a life-size limo and Brianna’s Baby Unicorn into a chauffeur.

  OMG! It was like I was Cinderella or someone!

  And when I arrived at the Sweetheart Dance, Brandon was dressed like a prince and standing there waiting for me. We danced the night away and had a wonderful time together. It was SO romantic!

  Then, at the stroke of midnight, MacKenzie was crowned Sweetheart Princess and my fairy tale turned into a horror story.

  My gown and glass slippers turned back into my pj’s and bunny slippers. And my limo and chauffeur turned back into the Princess Sugar Plum Magical Flying Car (with real working headlights) and Baby Unicorn.

  OMG! I was SO embarrassed to be at the school dance in my pajamas with Brianna’s toys. Everyone was laughing at me. Even Brandon, Chloe, and Zoey!

  But this was the really scary part. Suddenly MacKenzie turned into this huge monster with pointy teeth, and she started growling and chasing me around the dance. I barely escaped by galloping away on Baby Unicorn . . . .

  It was probably the WORST nightmare I’d ever had in my entire life.

  I woke up in a cold sweat.

  But this is the crazy part!

  Even though I was wide awake and staring at the ceiling, I could still hear MacKenzie (or something) growling.

  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

  And it seemed to be coming from outside.

  I rushed to my bedroom window and cautiously peeked out, half expecting to see a glammed-up monster in a tiara terrorizing the neighborhood.

  OMG! I couldn’t believe my eyes . . . .

  IT WAS A TOTAL BLIZZARD OUTSIDE!!

  Overnight, we’d gotten a whopping nine inches of snow!!

  And the growling sound I’d dreamed about was actually Dad’s snowblower.

  ALL of the schools in the area were closed, including WCD Middle School.

  That’s when it hit me . . . . OMG! Our Sweetheart Dance was probably canceled as well!!

  I felt so sorry for my BFFs and all of the other girls at school.

  I’m sure they were SUPERdisappointed!

  I usually enjoy when school is canceled due to snow. But today I just felt kind of numb.

  So as a special treat to try and cheer myself up, I decided to make . . .

  HOMEMADE DOUBLE-CHOCOLATE FUDGE . . . !

  Luckily, I was able to cover up Brianna’s handprints by sprinkling those cute little Valentine heart candies over the top of the fudge.

  BTW, I called Chloe and Zoey to get an update on the Sweetheart Dance. They had good news and bad news! The bad news was that the dance had in fact been canceled due to the snowstorm. However, the good news was that it’s rescheduled for Friday, February 28. Of course, they were disappointed since they were all geared up to go to the dance TONIGHT! But I reminded them that the new date is ONLY two weeks away!

  Anyway, after lunch Brianna and I gave Mom and Dad their Valentine’s Day cards and some of the fudge I’d made. Of course they LOVED everything!

  I was a little shocked to receive a goofy text from Brandon: “HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!! Sitting here eating your box of chocolates and thinking of you !”

  In spite of the blizzard outside, the Category 1 hurricane inside (also known as Brianna), and my very dark and stormy love life, I actually managed to survive Valentine’s Day! I just wish I had some magical glue that could fix all of the broken hearts in the world!!

  SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15

  Today I agreed to watch Mrs. Wallabanger’s adorable little grandson Oliver for a couple of hours while she played bingo at the senior center.

  Okay! I admit I was wrong! I should NOT have teased Brianna about having a crush on Olive
r last week.

  And I don’t blame her for STILL being a little mad at me about that silly K-I-S-S-I-N-G poem.

  But I never imagined she’d go hide in a closet and refuse to play with him. Especially after they got along so well when they played together at Kandy Kingdom in the mall.

  Trying to coax Brianna out of the closet was a major headache. “Come on, Brianna! Why don’t you come out and play with Oliver? It’ll be fun!”

  Oliver smiled and nodded his head. “Brianna, do you wanna play Princess Sugar Plum Monster Truck?”

  Finally Brianna slowly opened the closet door and peeked out.

  BRIANNA, PEEKING OUT OF THE CLOSET

  I couldn’t believe Brianna was acting like such a little drama queen!

  She knew good and well that if Oliver wasn’t visiting, I’d snatch her butt out of that closet so fast she’d have a permanent wedgie.

  Brianna rolled her eyes at me and finally stomped angrily out of the closet.

  That little brat didn’t appreciate the fact that I’d spent fifteen minutes setting up the family room with assorted toys, games, and stuffed animals!

  I’d even managed to find some dinosaurs, astronauts, and wild animals for Oliver, thanks to Princess Sugar Plum’s Journey to Dino Island, Blast-Off Voyage to Mars, and Swinging Safari Adventure.

  But in spite of a room full of toys, Brianna and Oliver just sat there staring at each other like strangers.

  “Hey, Oliver! Look at this cool T. rex!” I said enthusiastically. “ROAR! ROAR!”

  “And, Brianna, why don’t you show Oliver your Princess Sugar Plum spaceship with real-life blast-off sound effects! ZOOOOOOM!”

  “No way!” Brianna grumped. “Boys have COOTIES!”

  Oliver looked sad and sighed. Poor kid! I felt really sorry for him. Then Brianna got really personal and started dissing MY babysitting skills.

  “Nikki! As a babysitter, you STINK! If Miss Penelope was watching us, we’d have lots of fun!”

  “Fine!” I said. “Then let HER do it! She’ll see how hard it is to watch a little brat like you.”

  “Fine!” Brianna yelled at me. “You’re . . . FIRED!”