Unspoken Love

by Lynn Gale - Unspoken Love

“Sort of,” he mumbled, casting his eyes downward.

  “And?”

  “I-I promised Jenny that I wouldn’t tell.”

  Nicholas forced him to meet his gaze. “Where is Jenny? Did she go home to her father?”

  “No,” he replied, tears brimming in his eyes. “Don’t make me tell you, Nicholas! I’ve got to keep my word to Jenny.”

  Placing an arm around the youth, he gave him a reassuring hug. “I understand your loyalty to Jenny, Billy, but danger could be stalking her this very minute. Was she traveling alone?”

  “Yes,” he said, relaxing his stance a little.

  “Did she go to Greenville?” Nicholas coaxed. He saw the resolute look on Billy’s face and encouraged, “It’s okay to tell me where Jenny is.”

  The seconds slipped away until, finally, Billy shrugged his shoulders with resignation. “I took Jenny to Stops Landing. I think she was going by steamboat.”

  Nicholas looked into Billy’s sad eyes. “Do you know her destination?”

  “No,” he replied, wiping his tear-smudged cheeks. “I didn’t mean any harm, Nicholas. I just wanted to help Jenny. I want her to come back more than anything!”

  Nicholas attempted to put Billy’s mind at ease. “You did what you thought was right, Son. Go on home. Warren will be expecting you.”

  Billy started to leave, then stopped abruptly. An inquisitive look swept over his boyish features. “Are you going after Jenny, Nicholas?”

  “You bet I am, Billy. First thing tomorrow I’ll ride over to Stop Landings. The clerk will probably remember which ship Jenny boarded.”

  Preparing to leave at daylight, Nicholas strode to the house and packed a grip. In the silence of the night, he lay on the bed, Jenny’s comely face and bright green eyes engraved on his mind.

  With the storm behind them, the clouds parted, allowing the sun to welcome in a new day. Having slept off the effects of the wine, Jenny awakened. She rose from the bed and splashed water on her face, grateful she had finally become accustomed to the ship’s moving. Glancing about the quarters, she saw her garments lying in a heap on the floor. A frown creased her brow as she tried to recall removing them. She slipped into her petticoat and donned a mauve cotton gown. When she had dressed, she brushed her hair and pinned it into a chignon. Diligently, she sponged her soiled garments and draped them across the chair to dry before leaving the cabin to stroll around the deck.

  She came upon a conglomeration of people. Southern belles in all their finery announced to one another that they were going to visit friends or families while their personal slaves stood by to do their bidding. Northern merchants claimed they were on their way to Southern cities to see if they could become more prosperous. She overheard planters and their sons bragging that they had business to attend to but not before heading to a brothel to enjoy the pleasures of sensual women. Blushing at their brazen words, she moved on, noting that housewives and harlots alike were living on the deck. Her eyes fixed on adventure seekers from the frontier who flowed with the current, ready to do whatever it took to achieve their own ends.

  She passed the crowd and made her way to the dining room. Not yet ready to consume food on her delicate stomach, she asked the steward for a cup of tea. As she sipped the warm brew, she closed her eyes and thought of Nicholas. He would be working in the fields right now. She nearly booked passage back to Small Timbers as she fantasized about his caressing touch and imagined him speaking endearments to her. She envisioned him working on the plantation until a voice overrode her daydreams.

  “Hello, Jenny. I’m glad to see you looking well today.”

  Jenny looked up at Zachary with a blank stare. She recalled meeting him last night but little else.

  Zachary sought to jog her memory. “Do you remember who saw you to your room and helped you into bed?”

  Jenny felt her cheeks flush as she vaguely recalled someone tugging at her wet clothes, then placing her nude form under the sheets.

  Her eyes grew wide with embarrassment.

  “You undressed me? How could I have let that happen? I would not have let you in my room if my senses were intact.”

  Zachary flashed her a dazzling smile, and his eyes sparkled. “You are a beautiful woman, Jenny. I was glad to come to your assistance.”

  “No doubt!” she chortled.

  “Do not misunderstand, Miss Grant. You had imbibed far too much. You were physically sick, and your clothes were soaked clear through. I only did what a gentleman would do.”

  “A gentleman would have called a member of my own sex to come to my aid, Mr. Brown,” she replied haughtily.

  Zachary played with the rim of his hat and looked her in the eyes. “I am not a gentleman, Miss Grant. I am a gambler. I took my chances with a lovely lady. Besides, would you have the whole ship know you cannot hold your liquor? A woman’s tongue can be fraught with wickedness, especially when a beautiful woman is involved.”

  “I must admit, gossip travels fast, and it doesn’t take much to become a woman scorned, particularly one traveling alone.” It wasn’t her nature to drink so much alcohol. Perhaps the trauma of leaving Nicholas had affected her more than she realized and she had unconsciously tried to obliterate her sorrow. Still, she would be discomfited if anyone learned of her unbecoming ways. She desperately tried to recall Zachary in her cabin. She couldn’t remember if he had taken liberties with her or if she had allowed it, but she knew she had to find out. Heat crept into her cheeks as she carefully chose her words. “Did we? I-I mean, were you? Did you? Oh, this is coming out all wrong. I sound like a child just learning to speak!”

  Zachary’s warm laughter filled the air. “I can assure you Miss Grant, we were not intimate.” He leaned toward her and smiled mischievously. “If we had been, you would not have to ask.”

  Flustered at his boldness, Jenny blurted, “Are you bragging, Mr. Brown?” Immediately, she regretted her words. This conversation was taking her where she had no intentions of treading. Refusing to be less than a lady and grateful that he hadn’t taken advantage of her in her weakened state, she chose to dismiss the subject. What did disturb her was that Zachary had called her Miss Grant. She must have introduced herself as Jenny Grant last night, foregoing her marital status of Mrs. It’s probably of little consequence anyway, for surely, Nicholas is already having Jason Walker draw up the divorce papers. Oblivious to Zachary sitting beside her, she continued to dwell on Nicholas. The night they stayed at her father’s house, he had passionately fulfilled her needs. Deep down, she knew Nicholas held her heart. But they had continued to live a strained existence. Now she must forget him. Nicholas was no longer in her life, and she must move on.

  “Where are you heading, Jenny?”

  “To Natchez,” she answered.

  “Have you relatives there?”

  “No, I just thought it was a good place to make a new start.” She realized she might have revealed too much in their short conversation and didn’t want to discuss her private life. She chuckled inwardly, thinking how Aunt Thelma might scold her by saying, “If Zachary knew you were alone with no family, why, no telling what he might do to you.”

  “Have you ever played cards, Jenny?”

  “No, I never had the time. There was always too much to do at the plantation.” Oh dear, there I go again, another slip of the tongue.

  “Come with me to the gaming tables tonight. I’ll escort you there personally.”

  “I have little use for gambling,” Jenny replied, ready to turn him down. Rethinking his offer, she figured it would help pass lonely hours and reasoned it would take her mind off Nicholas. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I accept your invitation. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going on deck.”

  Leaving the dining hall, she spent the day roaming the decks and conversing with the other passenger
s, being careful to avoid speaking of herself.

  Later that evening, Zachary met Jenny at her cabin and escorted her to dinner. After a pleasant meal, he took her to the elegantly furnished casino.

  Jenny glanced about the room, charmed with its rich decor. Several gaming tables stood on the parquet floor; sparkling chandeliers hung from the painted ceiling. Her eyes shifted to mirrors that covered the walls, exposing the grandeur of the patrons. They were gathered around the piano and sang along as the pianist played familiar tunes. A haze of cigar smoke filled the crowded room as Zachary helped her to a seat, then sat down beside her and squeezed her hand.

  “Tonight, you will bring me luck,” he proudly declared, his voice rising above the noisy crowd.

  With reserve, Jenny watched his quick fingers shuffle and deal the cards. Loud music blared from the adjoining room as the minutes became hours. By the evening’s end, Zachary’s claim had come true. He was far richer then when he had arrived.

  Zachary stuffed the money into his pocket. “Will you stroll with me on deck?”

  “Sure,” Jenny said, relieved to leave the hazy, tobacco-scented room.

  Carefully, they skirted the sleeping passengers who could not afford a private cabin.

  Eventually, Zachary walked her to her cabin. He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it lightly. “May I have the pleasure of your company for breakfast?”

  Jenny wanted to refuse him on principle, yet she found him delightfully entertaining. Besides, loneliness gnawed at her every time she thought of Nicholas. On impulse she said, “Yes, we’ll dine tomorrow,” then stepped into her cabin and closed the door.

  Zachary stood alone, affected by her charm and bewitched by her beauty. He knew that he could easily fall in love with Jenny. A vagabond at heart, he flirted outrageously with women and courted them at will. Taking what they offered, he left them brokenhearted. Yet now that he had found Jenny, he saw women in an altogether different light and knew she was a lady of virtue. He felt guilty for plying her with wine that first night, for if she’d been accustomed to the rolling ship and not gotten sick, he would not have been able to so easily persuade her to allow him into her cabin. This only served to increase her problems. Why was she traveling alone? he wondered. Was she running from someone? Perhaps a former lover? It didn’t matter. Soon, they would be in Natchez, and he knew that he must win her heart before they arrived or chance losing her for all time.

  Nakao watched Zachary saunter down the corridor, noting how his eyes twinkled with admiration since leaving Jenny. This is not good, he surmised. Jenny was married to Nicholas, and Nakao had seen the love in her eyes. He didn’t understand their love as stubborn pride forced them apart. He recalled the time he met Nicholas at Small Timbers and how he harbored a fierce jealousy. Jenny did not appear taken with Zachary, but she seemed to be encouraging his attentions. He felt that he needed to watch them closely since a virile man could only withstand so much temptation.

  Chapter 13

  Anxious to see Jenny, Zachary finished getting ready for the day. He’d thought of little else since he had met her. He couldn’t claim to be in love with her and certainly didn’t have marriage on his mind. Still, he dearly loved the pleasure of her company and hoped she would not refuse his proposal. Slipping into his jacket, he gazed into the mirror and donned a stylish black hat. He left the stateroom in search of Jenny. He found her on deck watching the waves as they moved downstream. Together, they went into the dining hall for breakfast.

  “The steward says we’re entering Vicksburg,” Jenny said excitedly.

  “Yes, and in a few days we’ll be in Natchez,” Zachary replied. He leaned forward and grasped her hand. “Will you come to my cabin, Jenny? I’d like to speak with you in private.”

  Instinctively, Jenny drew her hand away. Disheartened by one man, she vowed not to let it happen again. “What do you have to say that you can’t tell me here?”

  Zachary motioned at the people running to and fro. “There are too many disruptions here.”

  Jenny gazed into his eyes and mulled over his request. He could have taken advantage of her the first night they met, but he didn’t. “If we must talk, let’s do so quickly. I want to be on deck for the boarding and loading at Vicksburg. I’ve never been this far south and I’d like to watch.”

  “As you wish, Jenny. We’ll only be a moment and then we can go on deck together.”

  Jenny followed Zachary into his quarters. She glimpsed the unmade bed, the gilt-trimmed looking glass, and rose-colored furnishings. She placed her hands on her hips. “Now, Zachary, what is so important that you whisk me away to the seclusion of your chambers?”

  Zachary flashed her a grin, removed his hat, and tossed it on the bed. He grasped her hands and held them firmly. “You must hear me out fully.”

  Jenny stood rigid, her breathing shallow. “Go, on.”

  “I want you to live with me. I’ll give you all your heart desires and dress you in finery. Together, we can ride the steamboats up and down the Mississippi.”

  “Are you asking me to become your wife?”

  “I want you to be my mistress.”

  Jenny’s lips quivered. “You are asking me to live in sin!”

  “My hasty actions must seem appalling to you, since most gentlemen court ladies long before they become sweethearts. But time is of the essence. I want your answer before we reach the next port. I couldn’t chance letting you slip through my fingers.” He pulled her into his embrace and kissed her profoundly.

  Jenny was not immune to his masculine charm and kissed him back. But she couldn’t do as he asked. Regretting her naiveté for coming to his room, she broke free and bumped into the washstand. The pitcher and washbowl tumbled to the floor. “I can’t—”

  Zachary pulled her back into his arms. His hot breath caressed her ear.

  “Let me love you,” he whispered. With one finger, he traced sensuous circles along her jaw-line. “Then you won’t want to leave me.”

  “How dare you take liberties with me? You are treating me like a common trollop!”

  “I can’t help myself Jenny! You’re driving me insane with passion. Women flaunt themselves at me, but it’s you I desire.” Again his lips sought hers.

  The steward stepped into the room unannounced, his eyes widening as the surprised pair returned his gaze.

  “A thousand pardons, Mr. Brown,” he uttered. “I didn’t realize the room was occupied. I came to clean your cabin.”

  Grateful for the steward’s intrusion, Jenny broke free of Zachary’s embrace and ran from the cabin as fast as her legs would take her. Off the ship she ran, trying to dodge the crowd but knocking some of the people off balance. They eyed her with contempt.

  Skirting the town, she dashed into the woods so that she could collect her troubled thoughts. She sat down on a nearby tree stump, her heart pounding unmercifully in her chest. What have I done? With no money or clothes, where will I go? Mortified by Zachary’s actions, she had thought only of escape. Now she might be in worse straits.

  She caught her breath and sprang to her feet. In the distance, she heard singing. Thinking it peculiar to hear music in the forest, she silently approached a camp. A group of young women sang hymns as an evangelist welcomed someone into his fold.

  The handsome preacher, somberly dressed in a black suit and tie, caught sight of Jenny and moved toward her, his arms outstretched. “Are you fraught with despair? Do you need a friend, my dear? Won’t you join us?”

  Jenny was mesmerized as he encircled her. Uncomfortable with his familiarity, she broke free from his embrace.

  The women continued to harmonize, their beautiful voices filling the air.

  The preacher’s voice dripped with charisma. “I am Gilbert Johnson, and these fine ladies are my followers. They travel with me from city to
city and camp along the way to sing their praises. Will you stay with us?”

  Gilbert’s hypnotic and persuasive manner soothed Jenny’s tangled thoughts. She averted her gaze. If only father was well, she reasoned, I could go to him and seek refuge. Fearing the shock would be too much for him, she decided not to return home just yet. When he was stronger, she could tell him everything. Meanwhile, desperately needing lodging and food, she decided she had no other choice than to stay with her new acquaintances. She looked at the tall, brawny preacher who awaited her decision. “Thank you for your generosity, sir.”

  Gilbert gently squeezed her hand. “Set your troubles aside. You are welcome to stay with us as long as you like.”

  Jenny raised her head with pride and her shoulders became erect. “I don’t have any money, but I want to do my fair share. I’ll earn my way and help where I’m needed,” she promised.

  “And you shall,” said a woman who appeared to be in her early twenties. The woman approached her. A breeze gently caressed her long golden tresses as she looked at her with friendly brown eyes.

  Gilbert released Jenny’s hand and stepped back. A look of satisfaction crossed his features. “What is your name?”

  “Jennifer.”

  “Selma, see to Jennifer’s needs.”

  “Yes, Preacher Johnson.”

  The two women walked toward a covered wagon.

  “We only go by first names here, except for Preacher Johnson. He goes by both names,” Selma volunteered.

  Selma took her inside where two cots ran the length of the wagon.

  “You can sleep here,” she said, pointing to the bed on the left. “Sit with me while I fix my hair.” Reaching into a small chest wedged between the beds, Selma removed a hairbrush and stroked her yellow locks. “You may use my brush anytime,” she offered kindly. Setting the hairbrush aside, she moved some blankets and clothing out of their way. “There isn’t much room in here, but it’s a place to rest your head.”