Unspoken Love

by Lynn Gale - Unspoken Love

  “Indeed, it is,” Jenny agreed. “At least we have shelter and protection from the elements.”

  Fidgeting in her seat, Selma ran her fingers over a faded and worn cotton gown. “Preacher Johnson says he will treat us to ribbons and lace to make our gowns pretty for the sermons.”

  They left the wagon, and Selma escorted Jenny through the makeshift camp. The shy, dedicated women nodded their heads, speaking very little. An odd thought struck Jenny as she took in their appearance. They were all young and very beautiful. She dismissed her silly notions as she followed Selma through the woods where dense greenery shaded them from the sultry weather.

  The aroma of food permeated the air as Selma guided her to the campfire and picked up utensils for the both of them. Spooning beans and hash onto a tin plate, she passed it to Jenny, then she filled their cups with strong black coffee. She motioned for Jenny to follow, walked to a secluded spot, and sat down. During the meal, Selma praised Preacher Gilbert and their travels. “He is our master and knows what’s good for us,” she volunteered. “I fully believe in him.”

  Feeling uncomfortable with Selma’s statement, Jenny declined to comment. “How are your staples provided?”

  “We live on contributions from congregations that come to hear comforting words. We will stay here two more days and then travel to Natchez. Preacher Johnson says there are many lost souls there and we must help them.”

  After they had eaten, Jenny helped the women wash the utensils, then stack them in the space designated in the small food wagon.

  She and Selma entered the cramped wagon and bedded down for the night. They squeezed onto the cots, barely able to move in the tight quarters. Still, Jenny considered the alternative and gratefully accepted her temporary lodgings.

  During the night, Jenny awoke from a tormented dream about Nicholas. She couldn’t shake the memory of those haunting green eyes and his well-built physique. Through the opening, she saw the moonlight filtering through the trees and branches swaying in the midnight breeze. Glancing about the tiny wagon, she realized that Selma wasn’t there and assumed she had gone into the woods to relieve herself. Again, her thoughts drifted to Nicholas. She regretted living in a loveless marriage and was deeply sorry he’d deceived her father. Yet, she yearned to be by his side as he oversaw the plantation. She wanted to feel his sensuous touch bringing her to arousal like the night at her father’s house. He’d taken his time, gently trailing kisses down her neck, her breast, kissing her lips, touching her . . . She bolted into a sitting position. She admonished herself for letting her mind wander and wishing for his caresses. Her common sense seemed to vanish when Nicholas invaded her thoughts. Tears of frustration filled her eyes as she realized she would never again see his taunting smile or watch those sensual and beguiling green eyes.

  The following day, the group started for Natchez. They had gone several miles when, amid the dense forest, they came upon a large vacant house. Tall white pillars graced the two-story, red brick structure. Whitewashed shutters barely hung on the hinges beside the elongated windows.

  Gilbert assessed the situation. “We’ll stay here tonight. We can move about freely in this spacious dwelling and have some respite from the crowded wagons.” Glancing at the attentive women, he continued, “Spread news of our arrival. We’ll meet tonight around the campfire.”

  The women divided in groups of two and parted to do his bidding. Jenny stayed with Selma and, in preparation for the night, made the house presentable. Vigorously they cleaned away cobwebs and swept out the dust with a makeshift straw broom, then placed pallets on the wooden floors throughout the house. After they finished their work, Jenny and Selma strolled to the creek and bathed. The water soothed Jenny’s mind and revitalized her spirit.

  Trouble at the plantation had delayed Nicholas a few days. At Stops Landing, Nicholas dismounted and tied Dexter to the hitching post. Making fast strides, he stepped into the depot and addressed the clerk. “Has a woman traveling alone booked passage on the Marylou? She has black hair and captivating green eyes.” He held his hand in the air. “And she’s about this height.”

  The clerk met his gaze. “A woman fitting her description did, indeed, book passage on the Marylou. She’s heading to Natchez.” He scratched his head and continued, “I don’t see many women traveling alone. It’s not safe.” As an afterthought, he hastened to say, “If you’re looking to catch up with her, the boat will be stopping at Vicksburg to pick up more passengers before heading to Natchez.”

  “Thanks,” Nicholas said and darted outside. Mounting Dexter, he began the tedious journey to Vicksburg. If he rode hard he could catch up to Jenny before the Marylou headed to Natchez. He was concerned for her safety. She was independent but needed his guidance and protection. He swallowed hard. Who am I kidding? He was only making excuses because, in his heart, he knew he missed Jenny and wanted her back at the plantation. If only there was a way I could convince her to go home with me.

  When he arrived in Vicksburg, he learned the Marylou had come and gone. Damn! He had come so close to finding Jenny.

  He dismounted, walked into a tavern, and ordered food and ale. While consuming a tasty meal, he chanced to overhear two inebriated women discussing an incident.

  “The lady nearly knocked me over,” said the plump woman, slurring her words.

  “She was running scared,” piped the other. “Her ebony hair tumbled down her shoulders and blew every which way in the wind.”

  “She was like a whirlwind,” the other lady chimed.

  Nicholas set his drink down and joined their conversation. “Pardon me ladies, who is this woman that you speak of?”

  The women looked at him with bleary eyes. Finally, one of them said, “We don’t know her personally. She ran off the Marylou like the devil himself was after her.”

  “Which way did she go?”

  Both of the women pointed toward the woods.

  “Are you sure?” he asked.

  “We most certainly are,” the women said in unison. Hiccupping loudly, they gulped down mugs of ale, leaving their meals untouched.

  Nicholas nodded his thanks, finished his drink, and then went outside. Hoping the tipsy women hadn’t steered him wrong, he unhitched Dexter and headed for the woods.

  Riding along the path, he tried to make sense of Jenny’s behavior. What was she running from? Or rather, who?

  As evening came, the women gathered around the bonfire. Before Preacher Gilbert began the sermon, Jenny took her place beside the other women. She gazed into the crowd, amazed that a large following had gathered on such short notice. Her eyes swept over the people and came to fix on Nicholas. She gasped when he stepped forward.

  Gilbert approached her. He glanced from her to Nicholas. “Do you know this man, Jennifer?”

  Yes! He has come to take me home! Jenny wanted to shout. She looked to Nicholas for support, but his handsome face was empty of emotion. He stared at her without flinching. Is he angry with me for leaving? I abided by his rules. She wondered how could she explain Nicholas to Preacher Johnson without making it appear that she had wronged him. Once married, a woman became tied to her man or faced life as an outcast. “I refuse to speak of my private life.” The shock of seeing Nicholas had left her feeling weak.

  Gilbert pressed her for information. “We don’t keep secrets in our group, Jennifer. I repeat, do you know this man?”

  Jenny contemplated how she should answer him. She had told no one of her marriage, and now divorce. Society frowned on divorces, and she couldn’t very well claim him as her lover. She couldn’t figure out why Nicholas didn’t acknowledge her. The words tumbled from her mouth and, regretfully, she lied. “No, I don’t know him. Excuse me, Gilbert, I want to be alone.” She spun on her heels and hurried to the house.

  Dismissing the incident, Gilbert demanded everyone’s
attention. A silence fell over the crowd as the women harmonized, softly singing in the background. Gilbert began preaching, drawing the folks into his confidence. His voice rose as he condemned sinners and begged them to repent. Moved by his sermon, the crowd responded in kind, loudly agreeing with the charismatic evangelist.

  Once she made it to the loft, Jenny slipped out of her gown and prepared to retire. Clad in her undergarments, with shaking fingers she freed her hair and let it flow softly about her shoulders. Seeing Nicholas had completely unnerved her. His arrival had to be more than a coincidence. She spun around and saw him striding toward her, his expression grim. “Why are you here, Nicholas?”

  “I’ve searched for you ceaselessly only to hear you disavow me.” His cool eyes raked over her. “What drove you to lie, tonight? Deceiving people is cruel.”

  “Except when you have something to gain,” Jenny countered defensively. “You could have told Preacher Johnson that you knew me. Instead, you left me feeling awkward and afraid to admit the truth.”

  Nicholas drew her to his chest and wrapped his fingers in her hair. Holding her firmly within his grasp, he focused on her. “Will you ever let me forget that I married you without love?”

  “I was reminded for a year, Nicholas. I can’t even go home to Father least I break his heart!”

  Nicholas was consumed by Jenny’s beauty. He’d been possessed with finding her and vowed to lay open his heart, but he could not live with the woman he loved when she wouldn’t let go of the reason he married her. Her voice broke into his thoughts.

  “I think you should leave, Nicholas.”

  Choked with pride, he answered, “I’ll abide by your wishes. I shouldn’t have come tonight.” Drawing on all of his strength, he spun on his heels and withdrew from the room.

  Racing to the window, Jenny searched for him in the darkness. A throng of people mingled near the flickering firelight, but Nicholas wasn’t among them. She had broken off any chance of reconciliation by disavowing him, no doubt causing him embarrassment and widening the wedge of misunderstanding between them. She sank onto the pallet, feeling great despair, and knew it would be days before she could put this night behind her.

  Nicholas made his way back to the tavern. A broken man, he was in a quandary as he hashed over the evening. He thought it would be simple to convince Jenny to go back to the plantation with him, but he couldn’t speak his mind while she was distraught over his arrival and reminding him of the life he’d imposed on her. Loneliness tore at his heart as he thought about the woman he wanted but couldn’t have. It occurred to him that at the very least he should be celebrating the fact that he’d lived up to the terms in his uncle’s will and inherited the plantation. He’d regretted the marriage at first and felt saddled with a wife he didn’t want. But now, he craved Jenny’s affection. Somehow he had to forget her, but in his heart, he knew it was impossible for she had become a part of him.

  Chapter 14

  A slight breeze caressed the air, gently rustling the autumn leaves as the ladies disrobed and waded into the water. Jenny sensed lurking eyes upon her. As her imagination ran rampant, she sank lower into the frigid water and scanned the woods for trespassers. Seeing no movement, she inwardly chuckled. She recalled her unyielding trust in others before leaving the plantation. Fearing she was just paranoid, she disregard her instincts quickly lathered her body, and rinsed in the water. Shivering from head to toe, she dressed and returned to camp.

  The women were preparing the morning meal.

  “Let me help,” Jenny said, stirring the ashes and adding kindling to the fire. She dropped bits of smoked pork into a kettle of beans that had been simmering since the night before. Adding a pinch of seasoning to enhance the flavor, she gently stirred the soupy mixture.

  Selma brought flour from the food storage and made bread dough. Kneading the dough thoroughly, she placed the mixture in a pan and put it over the hot coals to bake. “It’s not a typical breakfast, but it is food,” she told Jenny as they gathered around the campfire to eat.

  The rising sun radiated down on the small group, drying the dew that covered the ground. Gilbert approached them, a smile lighting up his face. “Ah, my dear sweet ladies, it’s so nice to have your presence on this beautiful morn.”

  Pleased at his compliment, the women giggled shyly.

  “Preacher Gilbert is a man of few words except when he is in the pulpit,” Selma whispered to Jenny.

  Intrigued, Jenny watched the women rush to please him. One lady filled a plate with food, another poured hot coffee into a mug. Yet another found him a comfortable place to sit. Why did the women tend to Gilberts every whim? Were they so dependent on him that they had to treat him like royalty?

  When everyone had eaten, the women washed the utensils and stored them, then spoke amongst themselves.

  Gilbert waved his hand in the air to hush their silly chatter. “We’ll stay one more day and then continue to Natchez. Ladies, please divide into groups and scout the area for lost souls. Tell them of our meeting tonight and encourage them to attend.”

  Gilbert glanced at Jennifer. She returned his gaze, noting his gray eyes darkening as he studied her. She became uneasy. Why does this handsome man disturb me so? Does he hold some sinister secret? She averted her gaze and joined Selma. She had gone but a few steps when Gilbert called her back.

  “Jennifer, I would like a word with you. Please stay.”

  “And Selma?”

  “No, let her go with the other ladies.”

  Jennifer watched the women leave with Selma bringing up the rear. Selma sent her an encouraging nod, silently conveying to Jennifer that she should feel privileged that Gilbert had asked her to stay.

  Gilbert broke into her thoughts. “I have need of your services today. Please step inside.”

  Jenny followed him into the red brick dwelling. “What can I do for you Pastor Gilbert?”

  Gilbert quickly closed the gap between them and drew her into his embrace. Catching Jenny unaware, he forced her to the floor and fell atop her. “I saw you by the stream this morning. Your beauty is captivating.”

  Jenny choked on her saliva as Gilbert forced kisses on her and tugged at her garments. As his lips touched Jenny’s, she sank her teeth into his skin, then lashed out and slapped his face.

  “Get off me, you brute!”

  Gilbert’s eyes blazed with anger as blood trickled from his lip. Straddling her, he pressed her head against the floor and pinned her in place. He grabbed her chin and forced her to meet his gaze.

  “I will kiss your sweet lips again!”

  Jenny refused to comply and clamped her mouth shut.

  “You will obey me!” Gilbert shouted. “The women always do as I say.” Suddenly, a look of confusion crossed his features, then he toppled to the floor.

  In shock, Jenny gazed up at Nakao. He looked like a giant from where she lay. She felt his strong hands helping her to her feet. Grateful for his intervention, she trembled as he steadied her. “Where did you come from?”

  Nakao’s deep voice calmed her. “I have been following you since you boarded the Marylou. You are far too beautiful to be unchaperoned, Jennifer. Bound by your kindness, I wanted to watch over you.”

  “I never felt completely comfortable in Gilbert’s presence. Until today, he’d kept his dark tendencies hidden beneath his saintly actions. I’m grateful for your protection.” She tried to bring some semblance to her appearance by straightening her clothes and her hair.

  Nakao removed his bandana and gently wiped Gilbert’s smeared blood from her face. His dark eyes bore into her. “So what is your wish, Jennifer? Where would you like to go?”

  “I was on my way to Natchez,” she replied thoughtfully.

  “Then I will be your guide and stay with you until you are safe.” Nakao led her to his hor
se and helped her mount. When she sat comfortably in the saddle, he jumped up behind her. Jenny felt Nakao’s hard-muscled chest against her back as he slid his arms around her and reached for the reins. She had experienced less than cordial encounters with Zachary Brown and Gilbert Johnson, but she was glad for Nakao’s company and knew she was safe with him regardless of their proximity.

  The sun warmed them as they rode through the woods. Brilliant leaves of orange, red, and yellow dropped to the ground as the breeze intensified. Hollow trees housing chipmunks and other forest creatures caught her attention. Occasionally a snake slithered across their path into the shrubbery while squirrels scurried across the woods, storing nuts for the coming winter. They traveled a good distance, stopping as night descended. Nakao slid from his mount, bringing Jenny with him. “I must rest my horse. The forest is black. We cannot find our way until morning.” He searched his saddlebag, brought out two corncakes, and offered one to Jenny.

  “Thank you, Nakao.” Hungrily, she ate the bland tasting food. “Were you aware that I ran from the Marylou?”

  “I overheard some women complaining about a woman running from the ship and realized it was you.” He let out a deep breath. “I saw you go to Zachary’s cabin willingly. So I grabbed a bite to eat and washed. I did not know you were unhappy or I would have protected you. I let you down.”

  “Oh no, you didn’t, Nakao. You came through when I needed you the most.”

  Tired from the day’s journey, they bedded down for the night. Nakao covered them with his only blanket and shared the warmth of his body. Jenny lay beside him, feeling protected from the dangers of the chilly night. As she recalled Gilbert’s attack on her, she sat upright as a thought struck her. “Did you kill Gilbert, Nakao?”