Hate to Love Him

by Jody Holford

  Mia bit her lip, hard. When she felt like she could control her voice, she asked, “What are you saying?”

  “Do you want this, Mia? Do you want even part of the building to be converted?”

  She shook her head and then realized he couldn’t see her. Michael shifted on the couch, tilting sideways.

  “No. But I’m willing to make it work.”

  “You don’t have to. You have the upper hand now. Use it.”

  “By exploiting him while he’s drunk?”

  “Of course not. That’s not who you are. And for the record, not who I am either.”

  Mia paced in front of the couch. Slivers of moonlight were coming through the patio blinds. “I know. I’m sorry. That was out of line. I don’t know what to do.”

  “You tell him the deal is off. Conroy Hotels won’t be working with him, but if he lets you buy him out completely, you’ll make sure your father and the rest of his business circle never find out about this. Because trust me, your father is about the only person who would put up with these kinds of antics from Michael.”

  She froze. “I just told you I wouldn’t exploit him.”

  She heard her own lack of conviction. In her heart, she knew, without a moment’s hesitation, that if she had to choose between Brady and Michael, there was no contest. Somehow, Brady had worked his way inside her heart, under her skin, and Mia knew, she’d do anything to fix what she’d broken.

  “He’s seen another side of you. You don’t have to do it to make him think you will.”

  Mia’s breath hitched. She could get what she wanted through words alone. “I have to go. I need to call my grandmother. I don’t want to do what I’m going to do without letting her know.”

  “If you need anything…”

  “Thank you, Jonathan. You’re a good friend.”

  “Back at you. You’re a good person, Mia. And the right person to carry on the legacy your grandfather and his father left. Somewhere along the way, your own dad and brother forgot their foundation.”

  Mia hung up and sat in the chair across from Michael. She’d wanted so badly, growing up and as an adult for him to let her in—accept her. He never had. And after tonight, he never would.

  ...

  Mia didn’t sleep that night. She’d spoken to her grandmother, grateful to have one family member who supported her without question. She changed into more comfortable clothing and began making a list of things she would need to do. The first thing, as soon as morning hit, was to inform the tenants that everything was going to be fine.

  As Michael continued to sleep off his idiocy, Mia thought of Brady and had to stop herself from going to him. She wouldn’t beg anyone else in her life to believe in her. Yes, he’d been taken off guard, but she’d asked him to trust her and she’d needed him to do that more than she could explain.

  Instead, he let his vision of her revert back to what he’d thought at the beginning. Mia may have made mistakes, but she’d followed her heart and could honestly say, made decisions she was proud of. Brady hadn’t given her the benefit of the doubt. She needed a partner that would.

  As long as she kept busy and kept moving, she’d be okay. She contacted her lawyer—with what she paid him, he could do some work in the middle of the night. He arrived the next morning around eight, just as Michael was waking up. Mia opened the door to Jaxon McMillan and wished she’d thought to change into more businesslike attire. But her brain was running on empty and her heart had gone numb.

  “Mia,” he greeted in his deep, gravelly voice.

  “Thanks for coming, Jaxon. I appreciate it.”

  He had a wool coat over his arm and a briefcase in his other hand. She took the coat from him and hung it in the closet. She could hear Michael shuffling down the hallway toward the bathroom.

  “Does he know I’m coming?” Jax asked. His dark blue suit was tailored perfectly to his long, lean shape.

  “I haven’t spoken to him yet,” Mia said.

  She detoured to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee for her and her lawyer. He set the briefcase down and accepted it black.

  He took a sip. “You doing okay?”

  Mia stood straighter. “Of course. I apologize for my appearance. I changed out of evening clothes and haven’t dressed for the day yet.” She gestured to her Lululemon yoga pants and hoodie.

  Jaxon leaned on her counter and smiled. “You couldn’t look bad if you put every ounce of effort you had into doing so. I’d like to greet the tenants with you.”

  Mia frowned. “I’m more than capable…”

  Jaxon held up a hand. “You absolutely are. I admire you, Mia. I have nothing but respect for you. But having your counsel at your side is going to reassure your tenants. From what you said, I gather there’ll be a few rumors floating around and people are always invested in gossip. We want to present a united front and assure them that no one has to go anywhere.”

  No one except Brady, who would leave now because he wanted to, not because he had to. Don’t think about him. Not now. Her heart thawed enough to cause a stitch of pain.

  “Who’s this?” Michael asked, coming into the kitchen with bed head and a scowl.

  His clothes were rumpled and more than a little five o’clock shadow covered his jaw.

  Jaxon set down his coffee and extended a hand. “I’m Jaxon McMillan, your sister’s legal counsel.” The casual tone of his voice took a hard edge.

  Michael looked at Mia and eyed her coffee. Even now, after everything, he didn’t take her seriously. “You got enough to give me a cup of that?”

  Mia sighed and poured him a cup. When she turned to pass it to him, he was trying to stare down her lawyer. Jax looked unaffected and unconcerned.

  “Shall we move to the table?” Mia asked.

  “For what? I’m going home. I need a shower,” Michael said.

  “I think you’ll want to make time to hear what I have to say,” Jax said, picking up his briefcase and walking through the opening that led to the small dining area.

  “Oh yeah?”

  Mia glared at her brother. “Sit down, Michael. You’ll want to learn about this from me rather than secondhand.”

  Michael rolled his eyes and took his coffee to the table. He sat like a grumpy child. “What? You going to sue me for an apology?”

  Jax pulled some papers out of the case and slid them over. “No. She’s going to pay you out of your remaining thirty-three percent ownership.”

  Michael’s eyes widened comically. “I know I had too much to drink last night, but is this guy drunk now?” He hooked his thumb toward Jaxon.

  Mia started to retort, but Jax sent her a look. They’d agreed to let him take the lead because that made it more business and less personal. Mia wrapped her fingers around her cup in hopes of warming her icy hands.

  “I’m not. Here’s what you need to know, Mr. Kendrick. Look at me now, not your sister. Last night you rendered your contract with Conroy Hotels null and void by sharing confidential information to someone other than the parties involved.”

  Michael pushed his cup away and leaned closer. “Who? Her boyfriend?”

  “A Mr. Brady Davis who is listed as a tenant of Kendrick Place Apartments. Now, not only have you voided your contract by breaching it, you’ve also put yourself in a tenuous position. In essence, you’re screwed.”

  Mia’s eyes flew to Jaxon and she could tell by set of his mouth, he was enjoying this.

  Her brother was not. “Excuse me?”

  “You’ll sell your remaining shares to Ms. Kendrick for the amount listed here,” he said, pointing to the paperwork. “If you do so, without conflict, Ms. Kendrick has agreed to keep your behavior and poor decision making skills confidential. As in, she won’t tell your father, your business partners, your board, or any media outlet. However, if you do not sign over your portion, she will release a statement to all the aforementioned parties. And I will encourage Mr. Davis—who was a witness to your actions—to do the same.”


  Her brother stood, knocking his chair back, but catching it before it tipped into the wall. “What are you doing, Mia? I’m your goddamn brother. This is extortion.”

  Jaxon looked at Mia and gave a slight nod. Though her throat felt thick and her chest was heavy, she met her brother’s gaze and spoke evenly.

  “This is business, Michael. It’s not personal.”

  ...

  Jaxon agreed to return the following morning. He’d drafted a letter to every tenant that explained they were required to attend an brief, yet, important meeting the next day. When he left her, she all but sagged into her bed and lay there, unmoving. She stared at the ceiling and waited for elation, sadness…anything to overtake her. When nothing did, she decided to take a shower. By the time she got out of the shower, her phone had over a dozen messages and someone was knocking on her door.

  She couldn’t avoid the tenants or what she had to accomplish that day, no matter how much she wanted to. When the knocking continued, she checked her reflection and decided whoever was there would have to see her makeup free or not at all.

  Gabby and Shay stood side by side when Mia answered. Brady hadn’t wasted any time. Did she greet them as friends? Tenants? Were they there to yell at her? Give their notice? She really couldn’t afford to lose more tenants. Especially such good ones.

  Before she could find words, Shay stepped forward. “Are you okay?”

  Mia stepped back, startled by the question. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  What had Brady told them? They took her retreat as an invitation to let themselves in. She shut the door behind them and wondered how many more tenants he’d talk to today and how many more would show up on her doorstep.

  Gabby slipped off her flats and invaded Mia’s personal space. She wrapped her arms around Mia and gave her a hard hug. Mia swallowed the lump in her throat and patted Gabby’s back. Confusion swirled along with a sensation she didn’t recognize.

  Mia stepped back. “What’s going on?”

  Shay walked farther into the apartment and inhaled deeply. Heading to the window, she pushed it open as she answered. “Brady said your brother was here drunk last night when you got back. I can still smell the alcohol.”

  “God, what a jerk. Sorry, I know he’s your brother, but to wait for you like that, to scare you and to confront you while he was drinking?” Gabby said, taking a seat on the couch.

  Mia stood almost in the center of her living room, looking back and forth between Shay at the window and Gabby on her couch. What was happening?

  “I don’t understand,” Mia said. Her voice felt rough, like she was catching a cold. Probably just overtired.

  Shay walked to where Mia stood. “We were all going to go for brunch this morning. When Brady arrived, he looked horrible and told us about what happened last night. Though I’m guessing he left some things out.”

  Her heartbeat quickened. “Oh?”

  Gabby cleared her throat and crossed her legs under her on the cushion. “Well, he said he gave his notice, which means something happened. Something bigger than your brother being a complete jerk. Because if that was all that happened, Brady would have stood up for you and tossed him out.”

  It was hard to swallow. Maybe she really was coming down with something. “He didn’t tell you about what my brother said?”

  Shay put a hand on Mia’s shoulder. Warmth seeped through the thin blouse she’d changed into after her shower. “No. He wouldn’t say much at all, but I’ve seen that expression before.”

  Mia’s head was spinning. “What expression?”

  “I think she means the forlorn, heartsick expression. I’ve seen it, too. On Owen and Wyatt. Something happened between you and Brady?”

  Why wouldn’t he tell them? Why would he protect her instead of turning his friends against her? She wouldn’t have blamed him if he had. Mia shook her head and walked toward the couch, sinking down next to Gabby.

  “My brother said horrible things. Upsetting things and Brady had no reason to defend me to him. Because while my brother is, as you said, a complete jerk, my behavior was no better. Not toward Brady anyway.”

  Gabby put an arm around her shoulder. “Aw, don’t beat yourself up, hon. We all screw up when we fall in love.”

  A strange sound got stuck in Mia’s throat. She covered her mouth with one hand and tried to breathe through her nose. Gabby squeezed her shoulder. “Hey. It’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

  Mia’s vision blurred but it wasn’t until she felt drops of wetness on her thighs that she realized she was crying. She was crying. She never cried. It hurt. Her throat was thick and uncomfortable and her eyes burned. Her chest screamed through a tightness she’d never felt before.

  She felt Shay come to her other side and then both women had their arms around Mia’s shoulders and were holding her tight, like they were literally keeping her together. Her body shook as tears flowed too fast to try stopping them.

  These weren’t delicate tears. They were large, unladylike waterworks accompanied by harsh sobs that ripped through Mia’s body. One hand rubbed her back in slow, hard circles and another smoothed her still damp hair from her face. Either Gabby or Shay kept saying it was okay while the other made a soft shushing sound.

  As the tears slowed and her breath hitched in and out, she tried to pull herself together. Swiping at her damp cheeks, she shrugged off their supportive touches. Her shoulders stiffened, partially from the strain of crying, but mostly with mortification. She’d bypassed professional and dropped right down to pathetic.

  “I am so sorry. Please excuse me for a moment,” Mia said, squeezing her way out from between them and rushing for the bathroom.

  She turned the water on cold and splashed her face. “What is wrong with you? You have everything you wanted. It’s yours. It’s all yours,” she said into the mirror.

  Her eyes were blotchy and red, her cheeks puffy. Cooling a cloth, she pressed it to her face. She was just overwhelmed with the joy of knowing she would get to run Kendrick Place. But it didn’t feel like joy. It felt…lonely. Incomplete. She’d alienated her brother, which by extension meant her mother and father would feel the same.

  “Stop it,” she told her reflection. Why was she standing here crying when she should have been celebrating?

  Because you haven’t had a chance to tell the one person who will be just as thrilled about this as you are. And when you do, it’ll be too late because you’ve already lost him. Hope still flickered uncomfortably like a dying firefly in her chest. Was it too late to make him see what she’d been willing to do for him? It didn’t make her proud to know she would have dragged Michael through the mud to find a road back to Brady.

  Mia applied some makeup, trying to hide the crying jag. When she’d done the best she could, she returned to the living room and saw Shay and Gabby had stayed.

  “I’m very sorry for that. I don’t know what came over me.”

  “Uh, you were human?” Shay smiled at her.

  “I don’t cry.”

  “Often?” Gabby asked.

  “Ever.”

  Both women’s mouths opened and shut without a word. Then Gabby laughed. “Well, no wonder it hit you so hard. You’ve obviously kept everything to yourself and that’s what happens.”

  Not to her. Or at least, not before today. She started to apologize again, but Shay sent her a look that cut off her words.

  “Mia, are we friends?”

  Mia’s heart lurched, like it was jumping up to say yes. “I’d like to think so.”

  Apparently Brady hadn’t stomped all over that possibility.

  Shay stood. “Then stop apologizing. Whatever is going on, you can tell us. Or not. You can cry or yell or stomp your feet. You can say bad words and drink too much wine. Or you can curl up on the couch and we’ll watch a movie that makes you laugh. Or you can kick us out and tell us to mind our own business. Whatever you choose, we won’t judge you for it.”

  “She’s right,” Gabb
y added. “We like you. We want to keep you, whether Brady messed up or not.”

  Mia almost laughed. “He didn’t. He truly didn’t. Not entirely. I’m largely to blame for his feelings toward me.”

  Gabby made a dismissive sound. “Brady can own his feelings. If you’ve messed up, you fix it. If you want to. If you don’t want to, you put it behind you.”

  “What if I don’t know what I want?”

  “Then you take some time to figure it out.”

  They made it sound so easy, but it didn’t feel simple.

  Mia took a deep breath and decided it was time to stop thinking she had to behave a certain way to prove she was worthy of being a Kendrick. The two women in front of her had just given more acceptance of who she was than her family had ever shown her. “I have an announcement to make to the tenants tomorrow, but I’d very much like to share it with the two of you first. In confidence?”

  Both of them smiled and Gabby rubbed her hands together, making Mia laugh. Instead of just summarizing the basics, she sat between them again and did something she couldn’t remember ever doing: she shared everything.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Brady tried to avoid everyone but Justin, who was giving him plenty of space without being asked. Perceptive kid. He hadn’t slept after storming back to his place the night before. Unable to get out of brunch, he’d fully planned to tell his friends exactly what he’d learned. But the memory of Mia’s voice, pleading with him, asking him to trust her, stopped the words. He wanted to protect his friends and give them advance warning, but despite being furious with Mia, it felt like a betrayal to say anything.

  “She made her bed. She can live with having to tell them.” Which she obviously would tomorrow. Some lawyer in a high-priced suit and too-shiny shoes had shown up and given him a notice. After verifying the time, he’d crumpled the paper and tossed it in the recycling.

  He tried to get some paperwork done after Justin went down to the exercise room to work out, but the words kept blurring on the page. How could he have been so wrong about her?