Love's Falling Star

by B. D. Grayson

  “How long?” Her gaze returned to Vanessa.

  “As of now, they’re saying thirty days inpatient.”

  “But I didn’t mean to!”

  “I understand that, and it may be something you can talk to them about, but for now, once you’re released, you’ll be flown to LA and enter the program.”

  “What if I refuse?”

  “That isn’t an option, Loc.”

  “They are covering their own asses.”

  “I’d like to think that they’re thinking of you as well,” her mother said.

  “Can I talk to Vanessa alone for a minute?” Lochlan said. She waited a moment after they had left. “What do you think?”

  “About what?”

  “We haven’t spoken in months—”

  “Yeah, I know. That’s pretty much all you have said since you opened your eyes.”

  “I just—”

  “If it’s bothering you that I’m here, I can leave.”

  “I don’t want you to leave. Please don’t leave.” Suddenly, there were tears in her eyes. “I’m just saying, you found out and you rushed here? Tell me what you thought. Did you come here because you thought I was so depressed that—”

  “No! I came here because you were sick and we didn’t—” Vanessa’s voice cracked. “God, Lochlan, we didn’t know what the outcome was going to be. The news was so vague, and I couldn’t get in touch with Jamie. I had no clue as to what was happening. Jamie finally called me from your phone and made sure I was here.”

  “Jamie did that?”

  “She did. I hear that the two of you have been having a rough time lately.”

  Lochlan looked away from Vanessa. “I—I felt like she was to blame, I guess.”

  “You can’t put this on her, Loc. We had a choice, too.”

  “Did we? Do you think we really had a choice?”

  “I know that you two haven’t seen eye to eye lately, but Jamie loves you, Loc. She was trying in her own way to protect you. She sees that was wrong now, but at the time, she was honestly doing what she thought was the right thing.”

  Lochlan almost laughed. “Wow, Jamie getting you here, you defending Jamie…I must have really scared everyone.”

  “You did.”

  The sadness of Vanessa’s tone stopped Lochlan from teasing any further. “I’m sorry.”

  “Loc, I get that it was an accident.”

  “No, I mean I’m sorry. About everything.”

  “We can talk about all that later. Now probably isn’t the time. Right now, we need to work on getting your health issues figured out.”

  Lochlan took in a deep breath. “I have to do this, Vanessa.” Vanessa looked at her with knowing eyes. “It’s my story to tell, and no one gets to take that from me. I don’t want to brush this under the rug. I can’t sleep without you. I can’t eat without you.” She looked at Vanessa. “I would go out on that stage every night and perform like a good girl. Then, when the concert was done, the magnitude of what I had lost would hit again. I kept to myself until it was time to turn back into Lochlan Paige. It was like Cinderella. When I stepped on that stage, I was this untouchable star, but when the lights went down, I came back to reality. It didn’t make me want to take my life, Vanessa. It only made me want to be better—for you. You deserve someone who can hold your hand and kiss you whenever she wants. I want that for you.” She paused. “And I want that to be me.”

  “Whatever you decide to do, I’m behind you. No matter what happens, I will always be on your side. It’s a big decision that affects a lot of people and I understand that, but if you want to go public, I will support you.”

  “People will be in my business all day, every day. This could involve you too. You have to be ready.”

  “Lochlan, I am here for you, but this is something you have to do for you. This can’t be about us. You have to do this for yourself. Once that is done, we will talk about what that means for us.”

  “Just don’t give up on me yet.”

  “I won’t.”

  “I am going to kiss you in front of everyone one day.”

  “I definitely look forward to that if the moment comes.” Vanessa smiled at her. “I’m excited for people to see the Lochlan that I know.”

  “Not with me?”

  “Lochlan, nothing has changed.”

  “I want to be the person you deserve.”

  “You have to become the person that you deserve first.” Vanessa waited a moment before saying, “I got in.”

  Lochlan’s face lit up. “To Vanderbilt?” Vanessa only nodded. “That’s amazing. Congratulations.” Lochlan noticed the look of sadness on Vanessa’s face. “We’ll be in the same town.”

  “We’ll be in the same town,” Vanessa repeated.

  The smile fell from Lochlan’s face as well and she rubbed her face. “It wasn’t supposed to be this heavy a moment. We were supposed to be happy about this.”

  “I can’t do this, Lochlan.”

  “I know.”

  “I can’t be with someone who values their career more than me. That values what that decision could mean for other people more than it could mean for us.” Vanessa sighed and took a deep breath. “I can’t be last in your world. The last person who you worry may be affected.”

  “You aren’t!”

  “It sure as hell feels that way sometimes.”

  “Just give me a chance to get this right.”

  Vanessa picked up her things and then turned to Lochlan. “I’m going to get Mia and Ty, and we are heading home. You’re okay now, so we need to go—I need to go.”

  “I’m going to be who you need me to be. I promise.”

  Vanessa walked over to the bed and wiped at the tear that was running down Lochlan’s face. She placed the smallest of kisses to Lochlan’s cheek. “I’m glad that you’re okay, and I wish only the best for you.” With that, Vanessa walked out of her life just as quickly as she had walked in.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Ty and Vanessa shared a birthday week each year. Ty’s birthday was the beginning of April and Vanessa’s was the twenty-fourth. During a weekend between the two, they always did something special. Tonight was no different. They were on their way to a large club outside of Charlotte, where it was open mic night. Ty thought of himself as a Justin Timberlake type; however, he was the only one who thought this. The club held a few hundred people and had a stage. There was a large open floor in front of the stage with tables lining the wall as well as an upstairs balcony full of VIP sections.

  They sat in their corner booth as always. Ty and Vanessa knew several of the regulars here and made small talk with them while receiving birthday wishes and shots. As the music started, they cheered on the first performers. A woman did one of Lochlan’s songs and Vanessa was instantly sad. She had only talked to Lochlan through texts since leaving the hospital. Mia placed a hand on her knee in comfort. The press had been relentless about Lochlan’s accident.

  As the song ended, the crowd cheered, and it brought Vanessa back to reality. What she wouldn’t give to see Lochlan right now.

  ✥ ✥ ✥

  Lochlan was snuck in through the back door with the help of the club manager. Once she was tucked away in a supply closet, Jamie stood guard as she warmed up her throat. She smiled as she heard a woman do one of her biggest hits. After several acts had been onstage, Jamie stuck her head inside. “Hey. You okay?”

  “Yeah. Did you get the statement out?”

  “I did. Lochlan Paige is now officially out as a proud lesbian.”

  “Remind me not to look at social media.” Lochlan laughed.

  “I wouldn’t. The trending hashtag is ‘I stand with Lochlan.’ That would completely upset you, I’m sure.” They laughed.

  “Okay, I’m a little less nervous.”

  “Don’t worry about anything tonight except what you’re about to do.”

  “I love her, Jamie. I have to do this.”

  “Okay then. She is stage right i
n a booth against the wall. Let’s go get your girl, shall we?”

  “I’m right behind you.” Lochlan emerged from the room and followed Jamie.

  ✥ ✥ ✥

  The show director came on the stage and asked, “Are we having a good time?” as the large crowd roared its approval. “Well, that’s good, because tonight we have one hell of a surprise for you.” The crowd cheered again. “We have a guest performer tonight that you all are gonna love! We have had some famous people in the building, but nothing like this woman.” The crowd just kept getting louder. “You ready?”

  The director spoke again. “No, I don’t think y’all are ready for this.” The crowd cheered again, even louder. “All right then. Please welcome…Lochlan Paige.” The crowd jumped to their feet and screamed as she walked out onto the stage. The building was literally shaking.

  Vanessa heard the “Oh my God” that came from Jenny and Deb. She looked over at her friends’ smiling faces as someone joined their table.

  Vanessa watched as Spencer squeezed in beside Mia. “What—”

  Spencer merely pointed to the stage. “We’re looking that way, Ms. Wallace.”

  Lochlan walked out and was the most nervous that she could ever remember being. She didn’t see Vanessa for the sea of standing, screaming women and men. Once they calmed, she walked across the stage and brushed her hand against the fans’ outstretched hands. From closer to the edge of the stage, a booth over in the corner came into view and revealed Vanessa, who was still seated. Lochlan was pretty sure it was shock that kept her still. Lochlan couldn’t help but smile as she took in the dark-rimmed glasses, blue button-up blouse, and hair that was on point, as curls fell around Vanessa’s face and down her shoulders. There she is.

  Speak, Lochlan, was her next thought. “How are we doing?” The crowd screamed with people yelling “I love you” and “Good.” “I heard that it was someone’s birthday coming up, so I thought I would just stop in to help her celebrate.” The crowd cheered.

  Mia looked over at Vanessa. “You need to breathe because if you pass out before I get to see how this shit plays out, I’m gonna be seriously pissed.” Vanessa’s eyes were glassy as she looked over at her. “Breathe, honey. It’s really happening.”

  “I thought I would come out here and sing the birthday girl a song.” Lochlan paused a moment. “Time is a funny thing. I’ve spent the majority of my adulthood spending every moment doing what I was supposed to, what someone wanted me to, what I thought people expected me to, or what I thought I needed to do to protect the people around me. The last few months I’ve had a lot of time on my hands. Time to think, to reflect on those things. What it showed me was that I lived a life that was for everyone but me. So, I decided to stop that.” The crowd cheered. “So, here I stand, guitar in hand, just trying to impress the girl.”

  As she strummed the guitar the first time, the crowd quieted. The song was the one she had written the night of the accident. It spoke of love and the power it had to heal the most broken of souls.

  Just before the song ended, Lochlan stepped to the edge of the stage and was helped down the stairs. She walked over to Vanessa’s table and sang the final words as the music slowed. “The me I am with you is the only me that I need.” She slid the guitar down to her side, took Vanessa’s face in her hands and said, “If you don’t mind, I would like to kiss the girl in front of all these people.” Vanessa smiled and nodded her approval and Lochlan kissed her. The crowd erupted into cheers.

  Lochlan tried to talk above the screaming. “Do you have any idea how in love with you I am?”

  As a tear ran down Vanessa’s cheek, she said. “I love you too.”

  “I promise you will never have to hide again.”

  Vanessa kissed her again. The deafening screams from their table and the crowd around them faded away, along with all the flashing cameras.

  Chapter Seventeen

  As Lochlan stood in the shower of her hotel room, she thought about the night. She and Vanessa had a quiet dinner while they had talked about everything that had gone on. Vanessa now had three weeks before graduation, and she and Lochlan talked about Lochlan’s schedule and how they could work around it. Lochlan had decided to take this tour season off and spend the time with Vanessa. She had lost fans and sponsors, but it wasn’t surprising to her.

  During the time that she had off, Lochlan had agreed to do something new. While with Mac, she had met one of her friends, Marcus, who was a playwright. He had approached her with an offer to star in a play that was coming to Broadway. It would only be for the summer but would fall during the time Vanessa would have the summer off as well. Vanessa was so excited to see Lochlan on Broadway. It was something she had never thought about but was willing to try.

  As rumors started to swirl that Lochlan was taking her shot at Broadway, offers started to come in for guest roles on some of the top-rated television shows. She was even offered a guest role on Mac’s show, Blue Line. Lochlan couldn’t believe that she was ever worried about her career. The name Lochlan Paige was on fire.

  “You okay?”

  Lochlan opened her eyes to see Vanessa standing outside the glass shower.

  Lochlan smiled. “I’m just thinking about everything.”

  “Need some company?”

  “In my thoughts, or the shower?”

  Vanessa dropped her robe and opened the door. “Hmm, maybe both?”

  Lochlan didn’t have time to answer before Vanessa was in the shower and kissing her. Vanessa placed her hand flat against the wall of the oversized shower and Lochlan kissed her way down her body. Her head was thrown back as the water cascaded over her and Lochlan was settled between her legs. The things this woman did to her were unlike anything she had ever experienced. Lochlan seemed to worship every part of her body.

  Lochlan felt Vanessa’s legs shaking. She softly laughed and spoke. “You need to sit down before you fall.”

  “Who are you telling?” Vanessa moaned.

  Lochlan stood and took Vanessa’s hand. “Come on.” She stepped out of the shower and Vanessa followed her. As they got to the bed, Vanessa was suddenly over her. “I thought your legs were weak.”

  “Don’t you worry about my legs.” Vanessa smiled into the kiss as she pulled her center toward Lochlan’s. They rocked together until Lochlan was ready to explode. Lochlan’s breathing changed. “Don’t you dare just yet.”

  “I can’t do this much longer.”

  Vanessa ran her hand between them and quickly took Lochlan. Within moments, they both moaned into a kiss. Once Lochlan’s breathing evened, she started to laugh. “What the fuck do you do to me?”

  “I told you earlier that I would deal with you later.”

  “You have kept to your word.”

  Lochlan looked over to the nightstand to see the clock that read 11:15 p.m. “It’s almost midnight.”

  “Got somewhere to be?”

  “Nope.” Lochlan slid out of the bed.

  “Says the woman who is exiting the bed.”

  “Hang on a second,” Lochlan said as she ran out of the bedroom. When she came back into the room, still void of any clothes, she sat on the bed. “Sit up.”

  “Why?”

  “Sit up.” She looked down at Vanessa who hadn’t moved. “I haven’t given you your birthday present yet.”

  Vanessa sat up. “You’re here. You didn’t have to give me anything—” She stopped as she saw what Lochlan was holding. It was a small velvet box. “Loc—”

  “I remember that night I met you. I thought, ‘Here is this smart girl who is making sure that everyone follows the library rules.’ You stood over me in those dark-rimmed glasses and that stern look that was trying not to turn into a smile. You shielded me that night and have always tried to do what you thought was in my best interest. I’m pretty sure that I could have told you that I loved you that night you were at the benefit for the Smokeys.” She smiled. “I don’t think there has ever been a moment that I didn’t l
ove you.” She took a deep breath. “I’m a lot to deal with. I come with one hundred million Twitter and Instagram followers. I have an army of employees who demand my attention at times, and my schedule can be insane. Not to mention that you may be the focal point of a song, or possibly an entire album.” Vanessa laughed. “I love you more than anything and I want to spend the rest of my life hearing that laugh. I am a lot, but I want you. I’ll take your feelings regarding any of that into consideration and try to do what is best for the two of us. Just like in the pool, I want to be in all of this life with you.” She opened the box to an amazing five-carat cushion cut ring.

  “Here’s the thing, Vanessa. For a year, I woke up every day thinking that today was the day. Today was the day that you were going to look at me and say that you had been through enough, that you had waited long enough. I chose my career over you from the beginning. Time and time again. All the while, you stood by me. I was so scared of losing what was important to me, what I had worked so hard for, that I lost the only thing that ever truly mattered. I love you and want to marry you. So, Vanessa Wallace, will you do me the honor of joining my insane life and marry me?”

  Vanessa was stunned, only nodding her head vigorously. “Yes. Yes!” She kissed Lochlan. It was soft and spoke volumes as to what she felt for her. She could feel the tears that were running down Lochlan’s face as they touched her own.

  “Did anyone know?” Vanessa asked.

  “Just a couple of people.” Lochlan counted them off on her fingers. “Your family, my family, your friends, Jamie and Spencer—”

  Vanessa laughed. “I will kill them.”

  “Nessa, honey, it was a surprise.”

  “Well, congratulations, I’m surprised.” Vanessa smiled.

  “Also, your parents are patiently waiting on grandkids. Do you know this about them?”

  Vanessa laughed and kissed her softly. “I love you, Lochlan.”

  “I love you too.” Lochlan squealed. “We’re talking about marriage and kids right now.”

  “Oh my God, we need people to be screaming with us.” She jumped up and grabbed her phone, calling Mia.