A Flicker of Light

by Roberta Kagan

  For the remainder of the day, his teachers gave lectures - on mathematics, and then another on Latin. Watching the clock, he could not concentrate. He never even took notice of his philosophy professor’s recommendation that they all read Mein Kampf, a book by a man called Adolph Hitler, who proposed a New World Order with the Germanic race as the supreme power. Instead, Aaron thought only of the rain storm earlier that day as he stood with Greta under the shelter of a tree. In his mind’s eye, he recalled the lush green leaves as single raindrops trickled down their bodies, her hair as it blew in the cool wind, and the way her eyes beckoned, promising mysteries he had never known. Aaron could concentrate on nothing else. She had let him kiss her for the first time that day. He had known that she would accept his kiss because of the way that she had looked up at him, her eyes closed, her lips slightly parted. Still he had proceeded slowly as he took her lovely face into his hands and gently touched her lips with his own. The kiss enchanted him, like none before, and now for him it became an addiction. He longed for a taste of that extraordinary drug again. In fact, he yearned to hold her in his arms and to make love to her in a way he had never done to any woman before. Did he dare wish for such a blessing? If she would have him, he would marry her. He’d already decided, but he also knew he dared not ask yet. If he approached her too soon, he thought she might reject him. He refused to take such a risk. So he would be happy later that evening just to sit beside her and hold her hand as Wagner’s Teutonic Knights took the stage in song.

  Chapter 16

  A

  aron’s grades began to suffer, and Dr. Blumgarten tried to talk sense to him, but to no avail. The woman had become an obsession, and he could think of nothing else. She demanded that he be available when she wanted to see him, and he acquiesced. Dr. Blumgarten paid a substantial amount of money for his education, but Aaron also received a scholarship. If his grades continued to fall, he would lose his funding and be expelled. Even with this understanding hanging over him, if Greta asked, he agreed to miss classes to see her. Aaron could see that Greta had spent her entire life being indulged. She expected to have her own way. He didn’t mind giving her whatever she wanted. In fact, it brought him enjoyment. When happy, she would hum and sing little love songs to him, and that, in and of itself, brought him satisfaction. Never before in his life had he given in to anyone so completely, and yet now he did so willingly. Often he wondered what magic she possessed that caused him to feel this way. He didn’t know what it could be; he knew only that she did.

  She made him wait several more weeks before she took him to her bed. The night she chose, she asked her roommate to sleep in another room. After a quiet dinner at a small restaurant near campus, she took him back to her dormitory. Although excitement and desire rushed through him, he remained tender and moved slowly. Her pleasure was more important to him than his own, and he took the time and effort to ensure that she achieved fulfillment. Greta, not a virgin by any means, felt that before Aaron, she may as well have been. Until she lay with him, she had not achieved orgasm.

  He spent hours kissing her neck and breasts, unhurriedly moving down her body with his hot, eager lips and tongue, tasting the slight salty taste of her skin, basking in the floral aroma of her perfume and finding himself reborn within her womanhood. No man she’d ever known made love with as much tenderness or skill as Aaron. Her body trembled as she rose to new heights of ecstasy that she never even fathomed existed. When he buried himself deep within her, joining their two bodies and souls into one, his green eyes never left hers for a moment. His hand caressed her cheek, and he kissed her lips. With each gesture, she grew more certain of his undying love. He made love to her like he believed her to be a goddess. Throughout the night he worshiped her body, and from then on they were lovers. Now her appetite for him became insatiable, and she thought she could be falling in love.

  When the holidays approached and school closed, Greta invited Aaron to come home with her to meet her parents. They planned to stay for three days, and then return to school for the remainder of the winter break.

  The Zietlmans lived in a large red brick home on the outskirts of Berlin. Surrounded by large, well-established trees and a quilt of snow, it resembled a photograph or a picture postcard. Over the door, Aaron noticed a gold mezuzah and watched as Greta reached up, touched it and then kissed her hand. Dr. Blumgarten did this when he entered his home and office. Aaron thought for a moment about how excluded he’d always felt from his own people. His father had never taken him to synagogue on Saturday. There had been no special Sabbath dinners in his home. His first real encounter with Judaism had been with the doctor and his wife. There he’d experienced a Seder and had begun to understand the depths of his religion.

  Greta’s parents greeted them. They removed their snow-covered boots and left them on a mat at the door. Original oil paintings hung from the walls and the hardwood floors were covered with hand-woven Persian rugs. Mahogany furniture was tastefully scattered throughout the spacious rooms. Aaron found the lavishness of the décor wasteful. His sense of righteousness flared as he thought of the poverty-stricken people he’d treated at the medical clinic. The Zietlman family employed two maids, a cook and a butler to serve the husband and wife who lived alone in this massive home. Greta’s older brother had married the previous year and moved to Frankfurt.

  “Come in.” Greta’s mother wore an expensively tailored burgundy dress. Aaron watched as she turned from Greta without a hug or warm greeting. This, he knew, spoke volumes about their relationship. Gesturing to Aaron to follow, Mrs. Zeitlman called out to her husband, “Simon, Greta’s here and she’s brought a friend.”

  “Greta,” her father said as he hugged her tightly, kissing her forehead.

  “Papa, I’ve missed you.” Smiling, she turned to Aaron, “This is my friend, Aaron.”

  “Hello, Aaron.” Simon scrutinized him for a moment. Then, dismissing him, he turned his attention back to his daughter, he asked, “So, how is school?”

  Greta’s father made no secret of his disdain for the boy whom he felt had been raised beneath Greta’s station in life. By the look in her father’s eyes, Aaron knew he would never offer his blessing to a marriage proposal.

  “It’s good, Papa. It’s also good to be home for Hanukah,” Greta said.

  “It’s good to have you home. Tonight, just like when you were a little girl, we’ll light the first candle. I have such glorious gifts for you.”

  Later, after dinner and the kindling of the Hanukah lights, Aaron and Greta sat alone by the fire place in the living room, as Greta told him a little about her life. “I grew up here. I wish we had come in summer so that you could see the ivy that grows on the building. It’s my favorite thing. It climbs up the walls with green leaves and always looks so pretty.” She sipped her hot chocolate and smiled contentedly.

  “It’s a beautiful home,” Aaron replied.

  “I just realized, I’ve never asked you about your home or your family.”

  “And it’s probably better that you didn’t,” he smiled wryly.

  “Why? I want you to tell me. After all, Aaron I really should know. It’s important.”

  “Is it? Does it really matter?”

  “Well, it makes you who you are today, doesn’t it? Besides, I hate secrets.” She got up from the sofa and moved away from him lighting a cigarette.

  “I wish I had something good to tell, but quite frankly, my past is a bit of a mess, except for Dr. Blumgarten, my friend and mentor.”

  “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s all right.” She inhaled deeply from her cigarette, and he saw the disappointment in her eyes. He felt if he revealed his past, she might find him crude and undeserving of her affections. “I just wondered if you’d had another girl in your past - someone as pretty as me, or perhaps, prettier?” It seemed that Greta had gotten over her initial petulance, and she smiled at him coyly.

  “Is that it? Is that what you’re worried about? Oh, Sweetheart, t
here has never been anyone like you, never in my entire life. Besides, there is no one prettier than you.”

  “Really? You promise?”

  “Of course I do, I love you. I want to make you my wife. I want to live my life to make you happy. To do all of the things that you would want a man to do.”

  Tears trickled from her eyes, and she went to put her arms around him just as the maid entered the room carrying a tray of cookies and a thermos to refill their hot chocolate.

  “Your father thought you might like something to snack on, miss. He told me to bring this fresh mondel bread in to you,” the maid said, laying the tray down on the table in front of the couple.

  Aaron smiled inwardly. Clever old fox, he thought. The old man sent the maid in just in the nick of time. He had probably been listening at the door. Well, no matter, he would propose again.

  That night Greta slipped into Aaron’s room after her parents had retired to their bed for the night. They were careful to be very quiet as they made love. When they’d finished, she lay, contented, in his arms.

  “I would like to ask your father for his permission to marry you, but first I would like to know if this is what you want.”

  “Yes, of course it is what I want, but you don’t know my father.” She sat up in bed and turned to look at him as she lit a cigarette. “Aaron, I don’t know how to say this.”

  “Go on.” He felt his heart pound in his chest. He knew instinctively what she would say.

  “My parents are from a very, well, you know…an old, well-established family, and…” she swallowed hard, “Do you understand?”

  “So you’re saying you don’t want to marry me?”

  “No, that’s not it at all. I am saying that I will marry you, but my parents may not approve. They probably won’t give us their blessing. But that’s never stopped me before. I do as I please; no one dictates my life.”

  “What do you want, Greta? I don’t want to do anything to make you unhappy.”

  “I want you, and I always get what I want.” Her matter of fact, self-assured behavior made him laugh.

  “Do you want to elope? Would you rather I never asked them at all?”

  “Yes and no. Somehow, I want to give them a chance to say yes, but please, Aaron, don’t be hurt if they say no.” She touched his face.

  “As long as you love me, nothing can hurt me, and I want to assure you that we will need nothing from them. I will practice medicine and take care of you myself. I’ll make sure you never want for anything.” He reached for her, taking the cigarette out of her hand and putting it out in the ashtray. Then he enfolded her in his arms and kissed her long and hard.

  Greta’s parents looked mortified when the couple told them of their plans. Her mother’s eyes grew so large that they looked as if they might fall out of her head, while her father just sat there, arms folded across his chest with a deep scowl on his face. They forbade the marriage and told Greta she must forget Aaron. Her father insisted she put this boy out of her mind when she returned to school. He demanded that the relationship be terminated immediately. When Greta refused and gathered her things to leave with Aaron, her father told her that, as of now, he no longer had a daughter. To him, she had died at that moment. Then he took a knife from the kitchen drawer and cut the lapel of his shirt. This, Greta explained to Aaron, meant that a Jew was in mourning.

  Chapter 17

  G

  reta laid her head on Aaron’s shoulder as he held her in his arms during the train ride back to school. Tears wet her cheeks. “I am so angry I could scream. How dare my father think he can tell me what to do, or how to live my life?” The others on the train looked on, their faces masks of disgust. Such public displays of affection had been deemed strictly forbidden in the New Order of Germany.

  Meanwhile

  News of Kristalnacht, or the Night of Broken Glass, that occurred in Berlin, spread to Jewish communities throughout Europe. It had begun when the Nazis had made an accusation concerning a Jew in Paris. The Nazis claimed that this Jew had assassinated Ernst VonRath, a German diplomat. In order to fan the fires of anti-Semitism, the radio stations broadcast propaganda about the evils of the Jewish population, and how they intended to destroy Germany. Many suspected that the crime had actually been carried out under Hitler’s orders. The consequences, as predicted by the Third Reich, were catastrophic. On this night, November 9, 1938, which came to be known as Kristalnacht, Jewish businesses suffered at the hands of vandals. Synagogues were burned to the ground and Jews were beaten in the streets throughout Germany. From that date, forward, it became a requirement for all Jews to wear an armband with a yellow Star of David whenever they walked outside. The college expelled Aaron and Greta due to the new law. No more Jews would be allowed to attend the universites. Restrictions extended to the parks and restaurants. Open persecution of anyone of Jewish faith became acceptable and commonplace.

  Several weeks following their return to the campus, Dr. Blumgarten sent a letter to Aaron. Busy with Greta, Aaron had left it on his desk for several days. Finally one afternoon as he retrieved his Latin text from the shelf, he’d noticed the envelope and opened it just one hour before the dorm master appeared with papers forcing him to evacuate his room. The dorm master said that all Jewish students were being expelled from theuUniversity. Aaron was stunned. The letter from the doctor bordered on hysteria, which was unusual for Dr. Blumgarten. The doctor said he had secured enough money for Aaron, himself, and his wife to leave Germany and go to America as soon as possible. Dr. Blumgarten felt sure that soon the Jews would be unable to leave and find themselves trapped in the hatred spreading through the land. This was much more than speculation, the doctor assured Aaron. Things were going to get very ugly. Many of the wealthier Jewish population were already missing, arrested without reason. They were followed to their homes by the Gestapo, the dreaded secret police, who confiscated their possessions. The unfortunate Jews simply disappeared. The medical clinic where Aaron had been employed, the one Dr. Blumgarten had lovingly established for the indigent, had been burned by thugs on Kristalnacht.

  Aaron read the letter twice. The students had already begun to feel some of the effects on campus, but not strongly, at least not until his expulsion. That night he’d been scheduled to work. When he presented himself to fulfill his obligation at the Fassbinder bakery, he found Anke in tears as she told him that she and Ludwig had to terminate him. He finally accepted the severity of the situation. At that point, he went to Greta to discuss their future plans. When he arrived at her dorm room, he found her clearly distressed. She too had been expelled, and just like his, her papers demanded that she be gone by midnight. The dorm master brought a letter to Greta from her hometown along with the expulsion papers. It had been sitting on the dorm masters desk for several weeks and she had forgotten to deliver it until now. The letter was from Mrs. Schouserman, her childhood neighbor, who had been kind enough to send a note informing her of the arrest of her parents. It had occurred the week after their visit. From what the letter told her, the Gestapo arrived early one morning. Within minutes, the Zietlmans were taken away, handcuffed, in the back of an SS wagon. Just that simply, Greta had lost her parents and everything she knew. The house that she grew up in now belonged to the Nazi Party, and she had no idea where to begin to look for her family. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

  “I want to go see my brother. I want to find out what he knows. Maybe he has had word from my parents. Will you come with me?” Greta asked, gripping the letter in her hand as she looked at Aaron.

  “Of course I will, Sweetheart. I would never let you make this trip by yourself. Don’t cry. Come on. Come here and let me hold you. We’ll figure out what to do. Please stop crying.” He held her until her body stopped shaking and the tears no longer fell. Then he made arrangements for them to go by train to Frankfurt to see her brother.

  Travel was difficult. Every stop found them presenting their papers to guards who would sneer when they saw the Star o
f David brand in the center. One whispered, “Christ killer,” under his breath as he handed the papers back to Aaron.

  They arrived late in the afternoon, just as the sun had its last bright moment of the day before it set. They knocked at the door. A tall, slender woman, with almost white-blonde hair escaping from her bun in tufts, hunched as she opened it just a crack. She could be no more than twenty-five years old, but she had the demeanor of one far older. The wrinkles in her brow and the slight hump in her back gave her the appearance of poor health.

  “Yes, what do you want?” She spoke with the impatience of someone who’d lived a life of hard labor.

  “Hello, my name is Greta Zeitelman. You must be my brother’s new housekeeper. David Zeitelman, your boss?”

  “I have no boss. I don’t know any Zeitlman.” The faint cry of an infant came from the back of the house.

  “He lives here. My brother?” Greta said. She had begun to turn pale.

  “I live here with my husband, and I don’t know who you are or what you’re talking about; and quite frankly, Fraulein, I don’t care.”

  The door slammed with a thud in Greta’s unsuspecting face. She grew frantic, running up to strangers and asking everyone that she could find on the street if they knew the fate of her brother and his family. Finally, a man wearing a gray hat with a short brim that had been pulled down to cover his balding head stopped. “The people who used to live here are gone now.” His voice was abrupt and harsh.

  “Gone where?”

  “I don’t know, and I don’t want to get involved. I think it would be wise, Frauline, if you stopped asking so many questions. They’ve been taken away. That’s all I know. That’s all anyone knows. Goodbye.” He hurried down the street as Greta stood helplessly watching him. Panicked, she began screaming wildly and stomping her feet. Then she told Aaron that she planned to talk to the SS at their headquarters. “How dare they do this? They can’t just take my family and everything that we have. They just can’t do this.”