A Flicker of Light

by Roberta Kagan

  Aaron restrained her; he had begun to understand the power that the Nazi Party possessed, and what they could do if they so chose. He knew better than to allow her to go to the officials. The laws of the past no longer held any validity. Jews had lost all of their rights as human beings.

  Through much investigation, Greta learned that her parents and brother, along with many of the families she’d grown up with, now resided in a work camp somewhere in Poland. In an effort to find out more information, Aaron took Greta to see Dr. Blumgarten. “Sweetheart, it is best if we go and see my friends. The doctor is very influential. He knows lots of people. They may be able to help us find out exactly where your family has been sent. I don’t think it’s a good idea to go to the Nazis. They may take you, as well, and then I would have to fight them.” He smiled, trying to soothe her fears, but his heart felt heavy in his chest.

  Once she’d exhausted all of her other options, she agreed to go with him to see the doctor and his wife. Morris and Chaya Blumgarten had just finished packing when Aaron arrived. The doctor grabbed him, holding him tight in a warm embrace. Then Chaya hugged him, too.

  ‘This is Greta, my girlfriend.”

  “Hello, Greta. I’m Dr. Blumgarten, and this is my wife, Chaya.” The doctor patted her shoulder and his wife smiled.

  “Hello. It’s nice to meet both of you. Aaron speaks highly of you.”

  “Greta’s parents have been arrested. We don’t know why or where they have been taken. Do you have any idea of what is going on?”

  “You two children had better sit down,” Dr. Blumgarten motioned to the couple. “Yes, well, from what we hear, Jews are being sent to a ghetto in Warsaw, Poland, and from there they are deported to a concentration camp called Auschwitz. There is no way to help them escape. We have tried to get family members out, but have been unsuccessful. I’ve even offered to pay, but to no avail. I am afraid that we must leave Germany and try to save ourselves right now. When the war is over, we will come back and look for our loved ones.”

  Tears fell onto Greta’s black leather purse as she listened.

  “Young lady,” Dr. Blumgarten addressed Greta, “do you have any money? I ask because it costs a great deal to buy papers and the necessary transportation out of here. Even then, I am not sure you would be able to acquire everything you need. It is very difficult. It has cost me all I have. We leave here with nothing but our lives.”

  “This is terribly frightening, I don’t have anything. My parents had all of the money. Besides, I can’t just go. I would be leaving them behind,” Greta said.

  “I suggest that you get out if you can. I would help you if I had the resources. I am afraid that we had just enough for tickets for ourselves and Aaron,” he said. Turning to Aaron, his face genuinely saddened, he patted the manila envelope on the table. “We have been trying to contact you. I am so glad that you came. I have left countless messages at your dormitory and you never responded. We had decided to go to the school to look for you. In fact, we planned to go there tonight. It is good that you are here. Right here in this package are your papers. They are forged. According to the paperwork, you are now an Aryan male. Your new name is Gunter Voughen.”

  Aaron turned chalky white. He would not leave Greta behind. His mind whirled as he tried to comprehend the great danger that confronted them. He turned from the doctor, his hand on his head, and walked to the window, taking a moment to think. Rumors had spread and he’d heard them, of Jews being arrested and being sent to concentration camps, where the Nazis systematically murdered them. They faced grave danger. He had no doubt. Still he could not think of leaving her and saving himself. He stared blankly out the window at the heavy oak tree, its bare branches reaching up in desperation. If he left, what would become of Greta? She had no one, and he knew she’d never survive on her own. He’d been raised to fight, to survive. He knew what he must do.

  “Dr. Blumgarten, please take Greta in my place. I will find the money and join you in America later.”

  “Do you realize the risk you’re taking? You might not be able to get out later.” The doctor had aged since Aaron had last seen him; his hair had thinned and turned all silver. As he spoke, his hands trembled and the lines in his forehead deepened. “You must come with us now. I understand that you have a girlfriend you care very much about; however, Aaron, listen to me, your life is at stake here. You must come. Besides we have papers for you, not for a girl. There is no time for us to exchange your papers for hers now.”

  “Dr. Blumgarten, you know how much I admire you, but I must now ask you to respect my wishes. Please sell these papers and have some made for her. It is my greatest wish, the only thing I have ever asked of you, sir. Take Greta; treat her like your own daughter. I will come as soon as I can. Please do this for me. You taught me the importance of a man’s character. I could not live, could not go on with my life, knowing I had left her behind in this dangerous place.”

  The doctor looked at his young friend, the boy whom he had considered a son for so many years, and he realized that he could not convince Aaron to change his mind. In a way, although he wished Aaron would join them, he found he could not help but be proud of him. Aaron had made up his mind, and would not change it.

  “If this is your wish, then so be it, Aaron. I just think that you should take the night and reconsider.”

  “I’m sorry sir, but I will not change my mind. Please, take Greta and see to it that she is safe. I will go to my father’s home. You can reach me there by mail. Please keep in touch, let me know how all of you are doing. I will go and do whatever needs to be done with the papers if that makes it easier for you. Just tell me who to see,” Aaron offered.

  “If you are sure this is what you want, I must take care of it. My contact would not see you. I will go now. Aaron, are you certain?”

  “I have never been more certain of anything.”

  Dr. Blumgarten’s shoulders hunched and his head hung low. Suddenly he looked like a very old man, haggard and tormented in body and soul.

  Smiling wryly, Aaron turned to Greta, “I would trust these people with my life. They have been a family to me. I now trust them with you, my precious love. Go with them to America. You will be safe there. I will come to you soon.” He touched her cheek, wiping a tear that had fallen beneath her eye. “Smile, Sweetheart, please, and stop crying. Trust me. It is important. Will you do as I ask?”

  She nodded, with tears running down her face as she put her arms around him, and he held her fast.

  They had three nights together. On their last night before Greta and the Blumgartens departed for the long voyage to the United States, Aaron made tender love to Greta. He held her as she slept, and although he had never been a religious man, he said a prayer asking God to keep her safe. He did not know if he would ever see her again, but he knew he would move mountains if that was what it took to get to America and back to his love. Late that night, Dr. Blumgarten knocked on the door to the bedroom where Greta and Aaron slept. She lay with her hair splayed across the pillow as her breath came softly. The doctor tapped lightly. Greta did not awaken. But Aaron had never fallen asleep. He’d spent the entire night lost in thought. So when the Doctor came to the door, he heard the knock immediately and stepped out into the hall to speak with him.

  “I have the papers for Greta. Once again, are you sure? I will gladly go back and exchange them for yours if you have changed your mind. It is no shame to want to live. You understand clearly, son, that you could be putting your life at stake?” The single lamp cast an eerie shadow across his face.

  “I know, and I understand the danger, but I must do this. She must be the one to go with you.”

  Nodding, the doctor hugged Aaron, and then, without a word, he turned, his head hanging low, and went to his room.

  Chapter 18

  T

  he following morning came all too soon. But instead of the sun introducing the new day, the skies appeared to be painted a dismal gray with scattered, angry c
harcoal-colored clouds. Waving as he stood on the shore, Aaron watched as the Blumgartens and Greta sailed off on a massive vessel headed for New York. He felt both miserable and relieved. He knew that he faced a daunting task - attempting to earn enough the money to leave - but he also knew that he could not go on living if he done anything less than to save Greta. The rain began at first as a drizzle, and then exploded into torrents, soaking Aaron from head to toe as he walked back to town.

  After spending the night in the abandoned Blumgarten home, Aaron headed back to the flat where he’d grown up. He found it unchanged. His father, drunk as usual, still showed indifference toward him. The rations allotted hardly fed the old man, or so he said, and he had grown brittle and thin. But he still managed to find the strength to complain constantly. Aaron wondered how many of his ration cards he’d traded for whiskey.

  Regardless of his extensive experience, without a medical degree, Aaron found himself denied work at a hospital. Still, he loved to help the sick, so he made himself available to the needy. When they could, they paid him. When they lacked the funds, Aaron waived his fees. He saved everything he earned for his departure to America. Several months went by without a letter from the doctor or from Greta. He prayed that they had made the journey to America safely. Perhaps, he hoped, only a delay in the mail delivery held up the communication.

  One night a neighbor knocked frantically on his door at a little after one in the morning. “Please come quick. We hear you are a doctor. Is that right?”

  “Well, I am a medical student, but I guess I’ve had enough training to be considered a doctor. Why, what is it?’

  “My wife, please - she has gone into labor, and we fear something is wrong. This is not the first time, but this time is different. She needs a doctor. She is bleeding very badly, and the baby doesn’t come. She has been laboring for two days now.”

  The man appeared to be in his mid-twenties, lean and pockmarked. Quickly gathering his equipment, Aaron dressed and went to the man’s home. He saw instantly that the baby had not turned and the delivery would be breech. The mother had struggled, and Aaron worked for hours to bring the baby into the world. In the end, both survived.

  He returned to the flat late the following day, exhausted from the ordeal, to find an envelope on the kitchen table. Addressed in Dr. Blumgarten’s handwriting, and covered by unusual stamps, he knew it had come from America. Relieved to receive word, Aaron ripped it open and began to read:

  Dear Aaron, my friend and my son,

  It is with great pain that I write this letter to you. The voyage proved to be rough, but we have all made it here to New York safely. It is a wonderful place, so full of people, life and opportunity. Every day I wish that you had come with us. It grieves me to tell you this, but something has happened. When we first arrived, all seemed well, but then Greta became bored and despondent. She showed an ill temper and refused to speak to anyone. We promised her that you would come soon. I told her I knew how hard you would work to earn the money, but she did not seem to believe it. She sent you a letter, and when you did not answer she assumed that you did not care anymore. One day she informed us that she met someone else. I am so sorry to tell you this, but she has married a man here in New York. I don’t know how she could have given up so easily. I told her that she must wait and give the mail a chance to arrive, but she is a spoiled girl and has no patience. Please, don’t let this stop you from coming to America. You are still young; you will love again. I know that this sounds harsh, but it is war time; things happen, and you must understand that your life is still of great value. In the short time that Greta stayed with us we came to care for her. Now she is lost to all of us, but we do not want to lose you as well. Here in New York, you can finish your studies and then go on to be a well-respected doctor. The anti-Semitism so prevalent in Europe does not seem as strong here. Please write; let us know when you are coming. I will try to send as much money as I can to help you pay for papers and passage out. I have gone to various organizations here and am trying to make a connection to an underground organization that will help you. Please let me know where you stand with your finances. The price now is 10,000 reichsmarks. I have acquired 3,000 American dollars, so we are on the way. Write soon, Aaron. We miss you.

  Your family always,

  The Blumgartens

  Aaron sunk into the chair beside the table. His breath was ragged as he held the letter in both hands. The pain swallowed his heart. It engulfed him, but he could not cry. Greta had betrayed him. He loved her, had sacrificed his own safety for her, and she had forgotten him without a thought. All of the work and saving had proved to be for naught. His head in his hands, he sat staring at the wall. Then he got up and poured himself a drink from his father’s whiskey bottle. To Aaron, Greta died that day. When he spoke of her, he would refer to her as dead, and he would think twice before he ever gave his heart again.

  Each day Aaron saw or heard about another arrest taking place. Friends told him of those sent to the ghetto in Warsaw. One afternoon while he tended to a sick child, the Gestapo came and took his father. When Aaron returned to the apartment and found him gone, he felt a wave of nausea. The gentile neighbors from upstairs sneaked down, careful not to be seen, later that afternoon to tell Aaron what happened. But they needn’t have; he already knew.

  “The Gestapo came in a big black car; they took your father yesterday. I’m sorry Aaron. You have always been such a good boy,” The old lady with skin like parchment said as she stood trembling. She could be killed for being a Jewish sympathizer, and he knew that she knew it. But still she came.

  “Thank you for coming and telling me what happened,” Aaron said.

  “Oh, I remember when my husband, my Earl, had that stomach problem and lost so much weight. We were so worried. Then you came, and you helped him and didn’t take any money from us because you said that you knew we didn’t have it.”

  “Yes, I remember, but still you should be careful. It is probably unwise to talk to Jews. It is best you don’t put yourself at risk. You and your husband are getting on in years. It would be wise to take care,” Aaron said.

  “I talked about this to Earl, and we would like to offer you a place to hide in our apartment. We are old and poor. The Nazis would never think to look for you there.”

  “I am touched, truly. But I would not feel right about putting you in danger. I have places I must go. I’m sure you understand,” Aaron lied. He had nowhere to go, no one to turn to.

  “Yes of course, but if you ever need us you will come to us, please?”

  Aaron smiled and nodded as the old woman closed the door behind her. He thought about letting himself be caught and ending the whole thing. His will to live had slipped away with the letter from America. However, he could not bear the idea of being controlled by Nazi thugs. There was no doubt in his mind that he would fight back, and it might cost others their lives. Many times when one person acted out against the Gestapo they would shoot several other people to set an example. Instead of subjecting a whole group to his punishment, he decided to leave. He would venture out into the forests of Germany until the war ended, killing as many Nazis as he could to pay them back for the loss of his Greta.

  Aaron had lived most of his life with few material possessions, so packing a small knapsack did not pose much difficulty. He knew he would no longer come into town to use his ration card, so he ripped the yellow star from his armband and threw it in the trash with the card. From now on he would survive on his wits. He would not go to the camp where he’d heard that they tattooed numbers the arms of Jews. Aaron would not allow them to brand him like property. He took the pistol and the bullets he kept in his nightstand drawer for an emergency, and the knife that he had owned since boyhood. Then, including a change of clothes, he flipped the pack over his back and left without even bothering to close the door.

  With a heavy heart and a strong determination, he headed out to the country, to the outskirts of Berlin, where he would be less
likely to be detected. The thick forest would hide him. He planned to steal food from barns and from farmers’ fields. Aaron knew that in order to stay safe, it would be essential to keep moving. Staying in one place too long increased the probability of being caught. Nimble and strong, he managed to elude the authorities by staying off of the main roads. From his hiding places, he watched as the Nazis rode by with open wagons, filled with prisoners from the camps to act as free labor to the German farmers. Dressed in striped uniforms with arm bands, the prisoners looked out with empty stares. He saw that many wore the yellow bands with the Star of David, but others wore pink or black bands. Aaron wondered what those meant.

  Always staying off the main roads, silent and observant, Aaron witnessed the cruelty of the SS first hand. He watched, sickened, as a group of officers with their perfectly black and eagle pins stood over a group of emaciated, naked people, and made them dig a deep hole, shouting, “Mach schnell!” Then Aaron observed in horror as the officers shot the people from behind and pushed their bodies into the makeshift grave. He slammed his fist into his hand in an effort to contain his fury. The desire to run out and fight grew with each passing minute. But he knew that they outnumbered him, and that he would certainly be killed. Although he did not fear death, he wanted to take as many of them with him as possible.

  Over a six-month period, Aaron’s body dropped any semblance of former softness as it morphed into lean, hard muscle. He learned to hunt small animals using his knife, saving his bullets for emergencies. Sometimes he ate the meat raw when it was too dangerous to start a fire. During the light of day, he remained hidden deep in the brush, but at night he stretched his legs as he made his way towards Munich. A part of him longed to go into the city with its art museums and restaurants, but he did not. In the forest, he felt as if he had become a part of the earth, and he had thoroughly adapted to his environment.