Flying Free

by Abigail Davies

  I’d waited in the bar most of last night, thinking that she’d turn up but when she didn’t I had this feeling that I couldn’t quite explain.

  “We’ve just closed up,” J says when she pops her head around the door with a smirk on her face.

  Nodding, I push back in my chair and follow her down the hallway.

  Looking down at my cell, I head straight for the bar and frown when I still hear the music on low. Spinning around, my eyes widen at what I see and now I understand why J is smirking.

  Ava’s standing on the dance floor, swaying her hips with her head thrown back. My eyes trail her body as she dances, fuck me, I’ve never seen anything so sexy in my life.

  She stumbles slightly, catching herself at the last minute and giggling. “Is she drunk?” I growl at Jackson who’s stood behind the bar watching her.

  “Yeah,” he huffs. “Megan said she was like that when she came in.”

  “So she hasn’t been drinking here?”

  “A few, Megan served her.”

  I scrub my hands down my face, looking around to see who’s still here. “You two get off, I’ll close up,” I tell them when I only see J and Jackson left.

  “You sure?” J asks, a frown on her face.

  “Yeah.” I say and follow them to the door.

  “I can take her home,” Jackson says, his eyes not moving from Ava.

  I clench my jaw, hating the way that he’s looking at her right now but knowing I have no say in what either of them do. The only thing I do have a say in, is what happens in my bar, and as Ava is in said bar, then I say what happens to her and how she gets home.

  “Come on, Jackson, Corey will take her home,” J says, pulling on his arm and smiling back at me when they’re out the door.

  Pushing all the locks into place, I heave a breath and spin around, going to a bar stool and just sit, watching her.

  I don’t want to disturb her, she looks so peaceful swaying to the music and I’m captivated by the way that she moves. She’s hypnotizing; the way her hair flows down her back and the way her legs move.

  She turns to face me but her eyes are closed and I can’t stop my feet from hitting the floor and moving towards her.

  “Ava?” I whisper, trying not to startle her.

  She opens her eyes, a soft smile on her face. “I’m dancing.”

  “Yeah, I can see that.” I swallow. “You having a good time?” A good time? What the hell is wrong with me? What a lame ass question.

  “Dance with me?” she asks, fluttering her lashes at me.

  “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea-” I stop talking as her hands land on my arms and she moves forward, resting her head on my chest.

  “I just want to forget,” she whispers.

  “Forget what darlin’?” My hands wander to her waist automatically and I pull her closer.

  “Everything,” she mumbles, pulling back and looking up at me. “But you.”

  My heart hammers in my chest as she stares at me with those blue eyes, catching me in her web. My eyes track her tongue as it comes out and traces her lips, my breath catching in my throat.

  “I can’t...” I say, stepping back from her. Being this close isn’t good for either of us. Going there with her is a no-go but if she keeps looking at me like that, I won’t be able to stop myself.

  “Just this once,” she whispers, her soft voice raising the hairs on the back of my neck. “Let’s pretend we just met in a bar, like a normal guy and girl.”

  Her eyes beg me to go along with her, and it’s all I can do not to pull her against me and do everything to her that I’ve been imagining.

  “I just want to be normal.” She says, her voice cracking. “Just this once, please, Corey.”

  She moves into me and her hips sway against me again and when she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip I lose control and pull her forward, slamming my lips down onto hers.

  There so soft and at first I think she isn’t going to respond but when she opens her mouth up and swipes her tongue against mine, all my control vanishes and I pour everything into that kiss, a kiss that will probably be both our first and last.

  My hands wander all over her back, one resting at the bottom and the other one traveling to the base of her neck, allowing me to position her just how I want her.

  Never in my life have I had this feeling when I’ve kissed someone. Kissing for me is something that I only did as a teenager. It was too personal and girls read into it way too much but right here and now, I wish I never had to stop.

  What was first rushed, becomes slower and gentle. Exploring each other in ways that I never thought possible, sinking my teeth into her bottom lip causes her to moan and I move her backwards, towards one of the booths.

  I catch her as she stumbles, wrapping my arms around her tighter and lifting her feet off the floor.

  Pulling back when we’re at the booth, I sit down and open my arms as she slumps down next to me and rests her head on my chest. My erection straining so hard against my jeans that it actually hurts.

  After a while of her not saying anything, I look down and watch as her chest moves up and down, she snuggles closer and I wish I could watch her sleep like this every night.

  But my time is limited and as much as I want her, starting something with her right now just wouldn’t be fair on either of us.

  But, for tonight, I’m going to just relish in being able to hold her.

  I’ve never had a hangover before so when I woke up with a sore head and dry mouth, I swore I would never drink again.

  Jess found it hilarious and rattled off something like, ‘that’s what we all say’, before spending most of the morning making as much noise as possible. I swear she’s doing it on purpose.

  I spend most of the day on the couch watching crappy reality TV and feeling sorry for myself, begging Jess to bring me painkillers and water.

  She tells me to fill her in on everything that happened last night so after filtering through my foggy memory, I tell her everything that I can actually remember; apart from the calls I’ve been getting.

  Those are going to be put to the back of my mind because if I focus on them, I’ll just end up locking myself away again.

  “You kissed?” She squeals when I get to the part about Corey. I grimace at how loud she is and put my hands over my ears.

  My face heats as I remember the way his lips felt against mine and how my skin tingled when he held me.

  I can’t help but think it was a mistake.

  It isn’t that I didn’t want to kiss him, because I did... I really did. I had since that day at the lake but I know that from his side it was a pity kiss and that isn’t what I wanted.

  I wanted him to want me as much I wanted him to need me.

  “It was nothing. It’ll never happen again,” I say, waving my hand in the air and watching as baby carries a watermelon.

  Jess had said that the best hangover cure was a tub of ice-cream and a movie afternoon so dirty dancing came out and we snuggled on the couch sharing a blanket.

  “Say what? How do you know that? He could be head over heels for you!”

  Snorting, I roll my eyes at her. “Yeah, not likely. He still sees me as that broken girl from two years ago.”

  Grabbing the remote, Jess presses pause and turns dramatically to me. “Girl... if you knew how absolutely stunning you are.” Shaking her head, she clicks her tongue at me. “He’d be crazy not to want you.”

  I chew on my bottom lip, contemplating what she said. Could he like me?

  I know that I like him, the butterflies that take flight when I think about him or when I’m near him tell me that. But would it even work?

  “I can see you over thinking... Stop.” She points at me and lifts up off the couch, wandering over to the table that sits in the corner with my cell on charge.

  Picking it up, she hands it to me and raises a brow. “Message him.”

  “What?” I squeak and pull my blanket tighter around me.


  “You need to go on a date with him. You’ll never know what could happen if you don’t at least try it. Just this once.”

  “No.” Shaking my head, I lift up off the couch and stare at my cell like it’s an alien. “I can’t do it... I won’t.”

  I hear her huffing at me as I walk out of the room and back to my bedroom.

  Rejection scares me. I’ve gone through it so many times that I know I won’t be able to handle it again. Especially not from him.

  He’s was my anchor at a time that I needed someone the most and I would always be grateful for that but I can’t help wonder if it’s even a good idea to be doing anything like this.

  Maybe we should just go our separate ways? Just be friends.

  He’ll always be a reminder of that time in my life when I was a shell of a girl and I’m starting to think it’s better for everyone if I just leave it alone and try to forget about him.

  Flopping down onto my bed, I bury my head into the pillow. Jess is right, I am over thinking everything.

  If something is meant to happen between us, then it will... eventually. I don’t need to go out on a limb and ask him out.

  Besides, I have a feeling that he wouldn’t want me to make the first move anyway. That’s how most men work right?

  I’m clueless, I have no idea what I should or shouldn’t do.

  Scribbling down what the lecturer, Thomas, is saying on Monday morning has become a skill that I’m mastering. He always talks so quickly that most people have taken to recording the whole thing on their cells. To me, that’s twice the work and I’m not going to do that to myself.

  Slamming my notebook closed, I look up as people start to file out of the room and I stay behind, needing to talk to Thomas about our assignment.

  It doesn’t go unnoticed that this is another thing I wouldn’t have done two months ago. See? I’m getting better.

  “Can I talk to you about the assignment?” I ask as I come down the stairs to the podium that he stands by. His dirty blond hair is slicked back again today and although his dark blue eyes hold kindness, there’s still something about him; the way he looks at me sometimes creeps me out. I can’t put my finger on it and he hasn’t done anything to me so I let it go, not wanting to think too much about it.

  “Sure... walk and talk?” he asks, grabbing his messenger bag and flashing his wide smile at me.

  “Erm... yeah, okay,” I say just above a whisper, clutching onto the strap of my own bag.

  We walk out of the room and through the front doors as I ask him what I need to include in the assignment. He fills me in on what he expects and what sort of things I need to research, finishing just as we get to the bottom of the steps.

  Turning to face him, I offer him a slight smile as a thank you and I’m about to say bye when his hand reaches out and touches my arm.

  I swallow at the look in his eyes as he stares at me, his mouth pulling up on one side as he steps closer.

  One, two, three... Four, five, six... Seven, eight, nine...

  I’m frozen to the spot, not able to form any words or even step away from him.

  Ten, eleven, twelve... Thirteen, fourteen, Fift-

  “Ava, I know-”

  “Hey, baby.” An arm comes around me from behind and I’m pulled into a hard chest. I close my eyes briefly at the sound of his voice and take a deep breath, just breathing him in. “Hey, man.” I feel him nod at Thomas and for a second, I imagine what it would be like to be greeted like this every day by Corey.

  Then my mind catches up with my body and I try to pull away.

  “Don’t,” he whispers in my ear, his lips skimming my skin causes me to shiver. I keep still and look back at the lecturer.

  Clearing my throat, I say. “Thanks for the information, I’ll erm... see you next Monday?”

  “Yeah,” he grunts, his eyes flicking to Corey before he walks away, leaving us stood here.

  “Is he your lecturer?” he asks when I pull away. I’m glad his arms aren’t around me anymore but I still miss the way they make me feel.

  “Yes,” I whisper, looking around. “What was-”

  “He was about to ask you out,” he grits out between clenched teeth, his eyes burning with anger but he’s not looking at me, he’s watching Thomas as he walks through the campus.

  My mouth snaps shut at the way he speaks to me and the way he’s standing. His jaw ticks as he clenches it and his eyes shift to mine, boring all the way through me.

  “So?” I ask and spin around, walking off in a huff.

  “What do you mean... so?” he asks, catching up to me as I walk through the quad.

  “What’s that got to do with you?” I roll my eyes and walk through the parking lot, spotting his car and walking towards it. “Whether he was or wasn’t, it really has nothing to do with you,” I throw over my shoulder to him.

  “Ava,” he pleads. Ignoring him, I shake my head and wave to his car.

  “If that’s all you came for then you can be on your way.” My breathing picks up as I look at him, I can’t believe he did that. Who does he think he is showing up like this?

  “Birdie-”

  “No!” I shout then slam my hand over my mouth, my eyes widening at how I’m reacting. I take a deep breath, then say, “You can’t do things like that, you can’t step in to save me all the time.” I keep my eyes on him and watch as they flash with so many different emotions that it’s hard to keep up.

  Frowning, we stand and stare at each other, neither of us saying a word.

  After a few silent minutes, I huff and turn around, walking back to my apartment. There’s no reason for him to have done that. He insinuated things that aren’t there and not only that, now I can only imagine what the lecturer thinks of me too.

  It’s beside the point that, as my teacher, he shouldn’t have been asking me out on a date but he never did say anything. Yeah, so he touched my arm, that doesn’t mean he was going to ask me out.

  Pushing through the apartment building door, I let the door swing back and start to climb up the stairs.

  “Ava! Wait!” Ignoring Corey, I turn my key in the door and push it open. “Please, don’t be like this. I was only trying to help.”

  I have no idea why I’m so angry with him. If I’m really honest about it, it’s probably nothing to do with what just happened and more to do with the fact that he never called after the bar incident and then just chooses to show up out of nowhere on campus and act like he owns me.

  “Go away,” I whisper as I’m closing the door, averting my eyes, not wanting to look at him right now.

  “Please,” he begs, making it to the door just before it closes all the way. “I’m sorry, I don’t...”

  I wait for him to finish but when he doesn’t say anything else, I huff and go to close the door the last couple of inches, but his hand comes out to stop me. “Can I come in?” I look up into eyes as they plead with me to let him in. Giving in, I nod and turn around, letting him follow me inside.

  I don’t have the energy to fight, not with Corey.

  Dropping my bag on the kitchen counter, I open the fridge and pull two bottles of water out, offering him one silently.

  He takes it from me and butterflies swarm in my belly as his fingers graze mine, I look away, clearing my throat and shuffling my feet nervously.

  I watch as he twists the top off his bottle, his lips wrapping around the top. My mind can’t help but think back to when we kissed; the way his hands gripped at me and the way his mouth fit against mine perfectly.

  “Ava? Did you hear me?” My eyes move to his and I frown.

  “What?”

  “I said, I’m sorry for doing that. I don’t know what came over me, when I saw him touch you, I just...” He scrubs his hands down his face as he leans against the counter.

  “You can’t do things like that,” I say, repeating my earlier statement to him, placing my bottle on the counter and wrapping my hands around it.

  “I know.”<
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  We both stand there, the tense atmosphere making me uncomfortable.

  “But...” he says, lifting a brow as a smirk rises on his face. “He was shocked though.” He chuckles, but I don’t find it one bit amusing.

  “I can’t even... just forget it and go, I have a paper to do.”

  He studies me, his eyes scanning my face. He pushes up off the counter and I instinctively move backwards, my back hitting the fridge. His eyes burn with... is that hunger? They flick down to my lips making my breaths come harder and faster.

  “You’re so beautiful, I don’t know if I can stop myself any longer,” he whispers, his deep voice making my eyes flutter closed. He places his hands on my waist and I gasp, my skin burning wherever he touches.

  “Corey? What are you-”

  “Don’t tell me you haven’t felt it,” he says as I open my eyes. He shakes his head and licks his bottom lip. “It can’t be just me.”

  “Felt what?” I whisper, afraid to talk too loud.

  “I never stopped thinking about you, Birdie. Every fuckin’ day over there I thought about what you were doing and how you we’re feeling.”

  “You never called me,” I say, my voice breaking.

  “Fuck,” he says, leaning his head back as his hand grips me harder. “I didn’t know whether you wanted me to call you, I... I thought I was doing the right thing.”

  “Of course I did,” I say, my brows pulling down into a frown. I longed to hear his voice and see his face for so long but after a year, I gave up hope.

  He brings his head back up, sucking in a breath as he meets my eyes. “I tried to tell myself that this shouldn’t happen.” He shakes his head. “But, fuck, I can’t hold back anymore. Not since we kissed. All I’ve been thinking about are your lips, that sweet fucking taste. Tell me you haven’t thought about it and I’ll walk away right now.”

  “I... I...” I scan his face, moving my hands up his arms and over his shoulders, placing them either side of his neck. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it either.”

  His eyes flare just before his lips slam down onto mine.

  I shouldn’t be doing this. I really shouldn’t be doing this but, fuck, I can’t stop myself. Her coconut shampoo invades my senses the closer I get and once she tells me that she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it either, I can’t stop my lips from slamming down onto hers.