Flying Free

by Abigail Davies

Scrubbing my hands down my face, I sigh, knowing exactly who it is. I’ve avoided his calls for a couple of days now and deep down I knew he’d turn up at the apartment but I didn’t think he’d go to the bar. I should have known better. Of course he knew about the bar, he knows fuckin’ everything.

  “He give you a name?” I grumble down the line, turning the car around as I get to my apartment, glad that I live so close to the bar.

  “Daley.”

  “Figures,” I say, pulling up to the bar. I press the end call button and push out of my seat.

  Nodding at the two guys stood at the entrance, recognizing them from the meetings with Daley, I push through the door.

  “Daley,” I growl.

  “Ah... there he is. You can leave now, doll.” He turns to J and smirks. I want to knock his head off his shoulders for talking to her like that.

  “I don’t know-” I start to say, my hands clenching into fists at my sides.

  “Corey, don’t...” She shakes her head at me, a warning clear in her eyes. What the hell happened before I got here?

  “So, how’s the bar working out for you?” I squint my eyes at him, at the way he says it.

  I chuckle and walk behind the bar, needing something to separate me and this douche-turd.

  “What do you want?”

  “Nothing much.” He lifts up on to one of the stools and links his hands together. “Just wanted to check in.”

  I pull a bottle of beer out of the fridge and twist the top, taking a slow pull as I watch him out the corner of my eye. “No, you didn’t. Tell me why you’re really here.”

  He tilts his head to the two men at the door and signals them to leave. He never does that, they’re always within hearing distance. I have a feeling that whatever he’s about to say, I’m not gonna like.

  “Is that-

  “None of your business,” I growl, cutting him off as he points to the door J walked through.

  His eyes meet mine, squinting as they try to work out what I’m not saying. I don’t give anything away. If there is one thing I will do, it’s protect people from him. He already knows way too much about me and knowing about J, isn’t on his lists of knows.

  His eyes flick over to the door again, frowning and shaking his head as he turns back to me. “What was I saying?”

  I huff and lean back against the bar, folding my arms across my chest and widening my stance.

  When I don’t answer him, he clears his throat. “Right... there’s been some backlash.” He stands straighter, all business now.

  “Backlash?”

  “Yeah,” he mumbles and starts pacing the floor. “I need you to go back.”

  I chuckle at him and at how frazzled he looks. I’ve never seen him like this and if I really thought about it, I’d find it unsettling but as it is, I find it hilarious.

  His eyes meet mine again and I step forward, placing my hands on the bar. “There’s no way in hell I’m going back over there, not yet.”

  “You don’t understand.” He shakes his head, his jaw clenching as he steps towards me. “I need you. You’re the only one I know who can sort out this shit storm.”

  I look away from him, already knowing that I’ll go back. It’s become an addiction of sorts.

  The last couple of years, I’ve blamed him for not being able to leave, but in reality, I don’t think I would have left anyway. I had this idea that I’d come back and settle down but my heart is never in it when I come back stateside.

  I’m always itching to get back over there.

  “Fine,” I grit out. “On one condition.”

  “Name it.” He nods his head, a smile lighting up his face.

  “You give me three more weeks.”

  “No, I-”

  “Three weeks or no deal.” I shrug.

  He looks off into the distance, his eyes flicking back to the door that J went through and then back to me. “Fine.” Huffing, he pulls on the sleeves of his jacket and straightens up. “I’ll be in touch,” he says and saunters out.

  As soon as the door bangs shut, J comes out, looking around to see if he’s gone. “Ugh, that guy is...”

  “A douche-turd,” I finish the sentence for her. But the look in her eyes doesn’t go unnoticed. I let it go, not having time to think about what it means.

  If I only have three weeks until I go back, for god knows how long, I’ll be making the most of that time.

  I sit down at my desk Thursday night, squinting at the pile of papers that I have to type up. I hate Thursday nights with a passion. There’s only two of us that work on a Thursday now and Layla only works until six, leaving me on my own until ten.

  It’s a recent thing, ever since the person who used to lock up quit.

  I don’t mind the walk home so much now but when I have to lock up, it’s scary. I always thought I heard noises that weren’t there and most of the time, I’d scare myself for no reason.

  So when Layla leaves, I take off my headphones and listen to every little noise.

  The sound of the computer and the whirl of the fridge in the next room are so loud. I’m hyper aware of everything around me and for some reason, tonight is worse.

  Maybe it’s because I’m on edge after having a mysterious missed call from Ty. He rarely calls and when he actually does, it’s hardly ever good news.

  So I’m on edge and dying to leave so that I can call him back.

  Speeding through all of my papers, I finish over an hour early and with nowhere to go and nothing to do, I pull my cell out and click on Ty’s name.

  My heart pounds in my chest and the blood pumps louder in my ears as the ringing tone sounds. My eyes scan the space, looking everywhere and squinting at shadows I swore weren’t there a second ago.

  “Yeah?” I jump at his deep voice, my hand flying to my chest.

  “Ty?” I whisper, not wanting to be too loud because, well... I don’t know.

  “Ah... Ava.” I sense his smile over the line and my heart slows down its erratic beating. “You good?”

  “Me? Yeah. Are you good?” I raise a brow, even though he can’t see me, just wanting him to get the bad news over with.

  His chuckle relieves some more of the tension and I find myself leaning back in the chair smiling. “I’m good. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about-”

  “Oh God.” I lower my chin to my chest and squeeze my eyes closed. “What’s happened?”

  “What? Nothing. Are you sure you’re good?” The concern in his voice is loud and clear.

  I shake my head. “Yeah, sorry, I’m just, erm... distracted.”

  “Oh... well... I’ll make it quick. Eli is having a party for his birthday.”

  “Okay.” I smile. “When and where? I’ll be there.”

  I smile as he laughs again and I start putting my things in my bag so that I’m ready to leave. Having someone to talk to on my way home sounds like a good idea, so I grab my bag while I’m still on the line with Ty and switch the lights off.

  I’ll just say that I left early and make up an excuse if they ask. Not as though they ever do but I hate not being here until my shift ends.

  It makes me feel weird.

  But tonight is different. Something is in the air and I don’t know if I’m imagining things or just being paranoid.

  “Next Saturday at the compound. You good to get here?”

  “Yeah,” I reply as I push through the door to the building and out into the dark night. “I’ll come down with Jackson.”

  “Okay. Oh... I wanted to talk about... ah shit. I’ve gotta go, I’ll call you back tomorrow, okay?”

  “Erm... Yeah, sure.” I swallow and start to pick up my pace as I walk through the quad, scanning everywhere when a feeling like I’m being watched washes over me. “Bye,” I whisper and let the call drop, not hearing what he says back to me.

  I walk faster, my head swiveling around. My skin starts to get goosebumps and I hate the feeling that I get.

  It doesn’t help that the campus is
completely dead, not one person walking around. I don’t know why I still put myself through this, I should ask for earlier shifts again or at least one’s where I’m not on my own.

  I cross the road, practically jogging now and make a mad dash for my apartment building, pushing my key into the building door and slamming it closed behind me. I hide next to the door my hands flat against the wall as my breaths come in pants. Closing my eyes, I get myself under control and peer out.

  After several minutes, I don’t see anyone or anything, so I start to move towards the stairs until something out the corner of my eye catches my attention.

  I spin around, standing in the middle of the hallway, squinting into the darkness outside and trying to see what it is.

  I can’t make out any details but my stomach flips as I see the shadow of someone standing across from the building in plain view... watching me.

  I can feel their eyes on me and my stomach dips. I’m rooted to the spot for what feels like minutes but in reality, it’s mere seconds before I dash up the stairs and throw my apartment door open, putting the latch on after I’ve closed it and clutching my cell in my hand.

  Closing my eyes, I lean against the door and try to catch my breath.

  It could have been anyone; it could have just been a shadow. No... I definitely saw someone. Didn’t I?

  What do I do now? I don’t want anyone to be worry about me, calling Charlie and telling him won’t serve any purpose but for him to worry. It’s probably just my imagination.

  Yeah, that’s what it is, just my overactive imagination.

  So I file it away in the back of my mind and make a cup of cocoa, then slip into bed after changing into a long t-shirt and try to tell myself that it was nothing.

  Friday morning, I couldn’t bear stepping outside; I could still feel the goosebumps that prickled my skin from the night before. I hated missing classes but walking out of my bedroom was hard enough at the moment.

  Then Friday night came and went, I was meant to meet Jackson at the bar but aside from not wanting to go out of the apartment, I didn’t want to see Corey again. The tension in the air when he dropped me off after pancakes the other day was unmistakable. I thought about asking him what was going on, whether it was just me thinking too much into things or whether he felt it too.

  In the end, I decided to leave it.

  Saturday, my cell started to ring constantly and there would be no one on the other end of the line when I answered. Jess came back to the apartment at some stage and I could hear her and Scott talking, that just made me feel even worse.

  Going out there wasn’t an option when he was here so I stayed in my bedroom. No matter how much Jess knocked on my bedroom door, calling my name, I still didn’t go out.

  I wasn’t going to open that door so I pretended to be asleep and listened for every little sound until they went back out of the apartment.

  When my cell rings for probably the hundredth time today, I press the answer button and don’t say anything, deciding to give them a dose of their own medicine.

  If I caught them off guard, they don’t show it and after a couple of what feels like minutes of nothing, I hear the chilling voice through the speaker. “Home all alone?” I shiver at how it sounds with the voice distorter.

  “W-what?”

  “Tell me, dear little Ava. Would anyone notice if you weren’t there?”

  My breathing starts to come in pants and I drop the call, running over to my bedroom door and sitting with my back to it.

  Why is this happening to me?

  My eyes scan the room and I notice a bottle of vodka that Jess left in here last week when I was doing her hair and makeup. I’ve never been a drinker but right now all I can think of is to drink as much of it as I can to drown out this helpless feeling inside of me.

  Crawling over to the table, I grab the bottle and then sit back by the door, unscrewing the cap and taking a swig. The liquid burns the back of my throat as it goes down and I wince, shaking my head.

  Ugh, how does she drink this stuff? It tastes horrible, but it doesn’t stop me from taking another swig.

  My whole body starts to hum the more I drink and I feel the warmth spread through me.

  I crawl over to the edge of the bed and sit against it; picking up my cell. Swiping to my messages, I see a new one from Jackson, asking if I’m coming to the bar tonight.

  The time stamp says it was sent a couple of hours ago.

  My hands start to tingle as the alcohol works its way through my system. I turn my head to look around my room but it’s all fuzzy and blurry.

  Dammit, why did I think it was a good idea to drink?

  What if I fall asleep and throw up? Oh god, this isn’t good.

  Maybe I should go to the bar, just in case? At least I’ll have people around me then.

  I look down at my worn black jeans, the holes in the knees getting larger as I lift my knees to my chest.

  I spot my boots at the end of my bed and push forward onto my hands and knees, crawling over to them and attempting to slip them on.

  After several attempts, I manage to get my feet in and use the end of my bed to help me stand. Holding my hands out, trying to balance myself, I stand still; waiting.

  Another swig of the vodka and another grimace and I’m all set. I don’t bother to look at myself in the mirror, if I did, I’d probably see a complete mess.

  My eyes wander over to my post-it note wall. I’ve pulled so many notes down and now I feel like I’m going back to what I was. Locking myself in my room for nearly two days, that’s not what I wanted and not what I’ve worked so hard for.

  Pushing my shoulders back, I pull the hair tie out of my hair and shake it out then grab my cell, calling for a cab.

  I sit next to the window, waiting for it to pull up. I may be a little drunk but I’m not stupid. There’s no way I’ll be standing outside on my own, in the dark.

  When the cab pulls up, I grab my keys and purse and head outside, jumping straight into the waiting car, not bothering to look around me.

  I’ll only make myself more paranoid and tonight I don’t want to think about that, I want to be a normal college girl, go out, get drunk and then wake up with a hangover.

  It doesn’t take long to get to the bar and after several attempts to open the door, I finally get out and stumble against the side of the cab. Everything spins for a second and I pull in a deep breath, centering myself, and walk straight to the person on the door. I can’t make out who it is but they seem to know me as they wave me in without a second thought.

  I don’t bother to look for Jackson, or even Corey, instead, I go straight to the bar and order a double shot of vodka, to which the girl behind the bar raises her brows at but pours anyway. I tell her to keep them coming and after drinking another three, I start moving to the music that’s playing and venture onto the dance floor.

  Another post-it note I can pull off my wall.

  I’m in my own little world and everything here is rainbows and unicorns. I don’t want anything else. I refuse to think about everything that normally whirls about in my head. I just want to dance and it’s exactly what I do.

  I shake my hips to the song and move away every time someone comes too close.

  People are way too hands on, thinking that because I’m dancing that gives them the right to touch me. After the fourth time of the same guy grabbing at my hips, I turn around and slam my hand up into his nose. Something that Kay taught me a long time ago that I’ve never forgotten.

  Blood sprays everywhere and I step back so that it doesn’t get on me. My hands fly to my mouth and I’m in shock that I just did that. What the hell is wrong with me?

  “What the fuck?” he rages, covering his nose with his hand. His eyes bulge and he steps closer to me.

  “I’m sorry,” I squeak, looking around for someone, anyone, as he grabs at my arm, pulling me flush to his front.

  “You’re going to regret that,” he growls. I look up into his
eyes, the pupils as small as a pinprick.

  “Dude,” I slur. “Get away from me.” I push his arm off me, well, I attempt to anyway, but he doesn’t let go and my movements are sloppy. His grip gets stronger and for a second, I fear for what’s about to happen as he pulls me out of the crowd and passes the bar.

  My eyes scan for anyone who can help me but when I don’t spot anyone, I know that I have to do something. This can’t happen, not tonight, not here. The bar is meant to be one of my safe places.

  Grabbing an empty beer bottle off the bar, I hold it tight in my hand by my side.

  Once we’re in the hallway that leads to the restrooms, he spins me around, his fingers biting into my shoulders as he tries to back me up against the wall. I can’t let him cage me in.

  His lips curl up into a sneer and I watch as his tongue swipes his bottom lip, licking the blood off.

  One, two, three...

  I swing my arm up, the bottle smashing off the side of his head. His eyes go wide, right before he falls to the ground in a heap.

  Not waiting to see if he stirs, I step over him sloppily, using the wall to guide me to the restroom.

  As soon as I’m in there, I run into the last stall, locking the door behind me and sitting on the closed toilet seat.

  What the hell is the matter with me?

  I was at the bar most nights now and I usually flit between being in the office and out in the main area. Tonight though, I stay in the office to catch up on all of the paperwork.

  Not knowing how long I’d be gone for this time was annoying but I was used to it. I wanted to make sure I knew as much about everything as I could so that when I came back, I could pick up from where I left off. That was the plan at least.

  Picking up my cell, I scroll through my contacts and hover over Ava’s name. I haven’t seen her since I took her for pancakes and even though I’m trying to stay away, that doesn’t stop me from thinking about her. Wondering what she’s doing and knowing that she’s so close by, is a lethal combination.

  I asked Jackson earlier if he’d heard from her and when he said he hadn’t I didn’t know how to feel. From what I could gather, they spoke all the time.