Finding Beautiful

by Amanda Kaitlyn

  You still up, beautiful? I had a very interesting day with this gorgeous ballet dancer.

  I giggle, warmth erasing the shivers across my skin. I text him back as I lean against my pillows.

  Really? Do I know this dancer? She sounds wonderful.

  I wait, switching off my television and pulling red covers over me as I lie down and feel my eyes getting heavy.

  Then he answers me.

  I think you might. She’s your twin.

  Hmm, I don’t have a twin, Gavin. Could she possibly be me?

  He only takes a minute to answer this time.

  She’s definitely you. How was the rest of your day?

  Good, spent some time with my dad. He just got into town today. Hard to text when I’m this tired. Can I call you?

  Not even thirty seconds later my phone rings loudly in my hand. I smile, feeling giddy as I answer.

  “Hello?” I murmur, biting my bottom lip nervously.

  “Hey, beautiful.” My heart races at the sound of his husky voice.

  “How was your night?”

  He laughs, sending tingles over my body.

  “Busy. I’m actually just driving home. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

  “No, I’m just falling asleep now. Isn’t it a little late to be ending your workday?”

  He chuckles again. I recognize the sound of a car engine in the background.

  “It is, but I had a crazy day. Did I mention the dancer I met today?”

  My heart speeds up and I’m smiling widely, even if he can’t see me.

  “I think you did. I actually told my dad I met you,” I say, feeling a little unsure of how he’s going to react.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, he said you’re a billionaire CEO with high hopes.”

  “That’s true. Does my job bother you at all?”

  I’m surprised by his question, but I take a breath and answer honestly.

  “I’m not sure. It surprised me, but I already like you so much. For me, it doesn’t change anything between us.”

  I can almost hear his smile at the other end of the line.

  “Happy to hear that. You have any preferences for dinner tomorrow?” I think for a moment, but know it wouldn’t matter to me where we eat as long as I’m with Gavin.

  “No, I just want to spend time with you.”

  “Same here.”

  Then I yawn loudly and blush, embarrassed.

  “Get some rest, beautiful. I’ll text you tomorrow.”

  I smile, surprised by his thoughtfulness.

  “Yeah?” I ask.

  “Yeah. Goodnight, beautiful.”

  I giggle and snuggle deeper into my pillow.

  “Night, Gavin.”

  I hang up, placing my phone on the charger face up so I’ll hear the alarm at ten for my studio session in the morning. Soon I close my eyes, hoping for sweet dreams.

  Gavin

  The cup of steaming hot coffee meeting my taste buds could be described as the highlight of my day on most days I spend in the office. Today was different. Meeting Aria Morgan was the highlight, and if I could have spent more time with her today, I would have jumped at the chance. I haven’t truly thought about a girl or rather, a woman, in any way other than an easy fix at the end of a very long day in I don’t know how long. Back in college, it had been different. I was convinced that my girlfriend at the time, Jasmine, was the one. The one. As I think about it now, I have to laugh at myself. I didn’t know how naive that sentiment was. As if there was one woman that would stay by me through thick and through thin. As if there was a woman out there that could look past my name and the number attached to my bank account. Maybe even past the dollar signs on my paycheck each month. I’d thought she was that one woman. Shit, was I wrong.

  I sip my coffee slowly, closing my eyes for the briefest of moments and try to conjure up the memory of Aria from today. I’d never seen a pair of green eyes quite like hers. There were almost undetectable hints of gold in them, that I could only see when the light shone across her face. She had hair that reached past her shoulders and it settled there in big curls. My fingers had itched to reach through the space between us and sink into her curls. I knew they would be just as soft as they appeared to be. But those things weren’t what drew me to her. It was the way she spoke. I knew she was smart and the way she spoke told me she saw the world to be much darker than women I had met before. I didn’t need her to tell me to know that someone, somehow, had hurt her in her life. She had been disappointed, maybe mistreated, maybe overlooked. The way she carried herself was like the way she danced.

  Elegant.

  Light.

  With purpose.

  Out of curiosity, I took my Blackberry out of my pocket and pulled up the text-messaging app. We had been talking back and forth and though it was late, I had an idea. I backed out of Aria’s texts and opened a new one to Liz, my sister’s friend and a close family friend. She had a very quaint, very well-known floral shop not too far from my office and I knew she would still be working, even at this hour. One thing we had in common was our addiction to work.

  I need a favor, Liz.

  It was barely five minutes before she responded.

  Anything for my favorite customer. What do you need?

  A dozen flowers, something bright and colorful. It’s for a friend of mine.

  Hm, I think I can do that. See you soon.

  I grinned as I moved to the counter of the coffee shop and handed the kid behind it my now empty coffee cup. I dipped a few dollars into the tip jar and slipped on my jacket as I left the shop.

  As I drove toward Liz’s store and smiled to myself, I shake my head in disbelief.

  What was I doing? I never did this. I never pursued a woman after only one day of meeting her.

  Yet, something in my mind told me that she was different.

  Aria Morgan was special and I fully intended for her to know that.

  I stepped into The Little Rose and grinned when I saw Liz arranging a bouquet for me. She really was a good friend.

  “Hey! How does this look?”

  “I love it” I hugged her as she worked and watched the different colors of daises, lilies and orchids blend and fit into a beautiful arrangement.

  “Thank you for doing this.”

  I smiled at the redheaded girl I’d grown up with as she carefully wrapped plastic and wax paper around the flowers, not jostling even one of them. She looked up at me and nodded, waving away my money when I placed it on the table between us.

  “Please, Gavin. You know better than that. It’s on the house.”

  Shaking my head, I came behind her and before she could protest, slipped two bills into the pocket of her apron.

  “Shh, I want to pay for it. I know this business doesn’t run on your love of plants.”

  She nodded, though I knew she wasn’t happy about it.

  I moved to my car and started up the engine, eager to see the mysterious dancer once again.

  Four

  Aria

  “MINE, ARI,” HE WHISPERS, sending terrible shivers down my skin as I writhe against his hold, finding myself trapped against his hard, heavy, unyielding body. His cold, hard eyes stare down at me. He grasps the button of my jeans, undoing it and roughly pulling them down my legs as I sob, feeling helpless against his weight and his greedy hands.

  “Please, stop. Stop, Bryce… you’re hurting me… no!” I whimper and scream fearfully as he holds me down, he’s having no mercy as I clutch the bed covers and sobs rack my body. The pain is relentless as I feel his hard lips against mine. I can’t get away. It hurts!

  “No! Get off me… It hurts!!” I writhe and scream, crying out for help as he slaps me hard across my cheek, making me whimper in pain. I yearn for it to stop, but it never does.

  “Stop… please… ”

  He chuckles, taking me again as I feel my sex spasm painfully against his punishment. I have no way of getting him off me with his death grip on both my ha
nds.

  “Shut up, bitch.”

  “Stop!! Please… no… please… ” I begin to beg.

  Then I hear a faraway voice filled with panic and fear.

  “Aria! Christ, please open your eyes, beautiful.”

  My eyes fly open, my hands grasping onto the sheets as the terror of my nightmare runs through my veins. My body shakes and trembles, aftershocks from the terror of the memories assaulting me.

  God, I can’t breathe.

  A sob escapes me, then another and tears fall down my cheeks as I remember his face and the pain. Oh, God, the pain. I’m shaking and it seems impossible to stop.

  “Aria! Are you okay?” I look up through my tears and see Gavin sitting on the edge of my bed. His ruggedly handsome face is etched with panic when he gazes down into my eyes, his hand holding mine tightly, anchoring me.

  I shake my head no. The sobs take over my body, my face falls into my hands, and my body shakes with the loud sobs coming from my chest. I can’t stop them. The agony swallows me whole.

  “Beautiful,” he says, and without another word, he pulls me into his chest, lifting me as he sits against the headboard, his arms wrapped tightly around my trembling body. He sets me in his lap, holding me tight and I bury my face in his neck, clutching his shoulders for support. I let my emotions take over my body, feeling the pain and the terror and the relief of being held.

  “I can’t… ” I stutter, trying to talk through my tears. His hand runs up and down my back, banishing away the cold, dirty feeling that lingers on my skin from the dream.

  “Shh, baby, I’m here. Just breathe,” he whispers, kissing my forehead and tucking me close to him, his chin resting on the top of my head. I take in a breath, then slowly let it out.

  “Again, Aria,” he continues to whisper, watching me while I take another full breath and release it. I feel myself calm down from his warmth and that intoxicating scent of mint that only Gavin can make both calming and exciting at the same time.

  He lifts his chin and places his palms on my cheeks, tilting my face up so his eyes meet mine. He gasps, seeing my disheveled state. I see his forehead crease with worry as he wipes my tears away with his thumbs and showers my face with soft kisses.

  “How? When did you get here?” I whisper, finding comfort in his never wavering eyes and gentle touch upon my lower back and shoulder. One of his hands comes up to rest on my cheek, his touch so light it’s as if I’m imagining it.

  “I was on my way home and I wanted to bring you flowers to surprise you. When I got here, your sister let me in to give them to you. I found you in a nightmare. You looked so scared, so helpless, I had to wake you. I can’t stand to see you like this, hurt and afraid, Aria. Are you okay? Please be honest with me.”

  I can’t seem to form words so I rest my forehead against his, taking a deep breath to steady myself. I’m okay, it was just a dream. I’m okay.

  “I’m okay. It was horrible, but I’m okay,” I finally whisper.

  Gavin exhales, not letting go of me. He traces a pattern across my thigh, calming me.

  “What do you need, baby?” I get butterflies despite my nightmare at the sound of him calling me that. I might even like it better than Beautiful.

  “I don’t know, Gavin. I can’t fall back asleep after that. Can you just hold me for a while?”

  He leans back, smiling warmly at me. My chest feels a bit lighter when he does that.

  “That I can do.”

  His arms wrap around me, his hands gliding up my back to soothe me. Pressing my face to his chest, I focus on breathing in and out. God, he feels so good.

  * * *

  “Do you remember your nightmare?”

  I lift my face from the solace of his warm skin as Gavin presses soft kisses to my forehead and temple. His warmth and voice and, oh, his touch, is so comforting, and even though I’m sure I won’t see him after tonight, I can’t bring myself to let him go just yet.

  “I don’t think I can talk about it right now, Gavin. I’m sorry, I just can’t.”

  He gazes down at me and nods with understanding in his gaze.

  My face flushes in shame and I realize what he must think of me.

  “You must think I’m a basket case, Gavin. I’m so sorry; I didn’t mean to break down on you like this.”

  He runs his fingers through my hair soothingly, and despite my embarrassment, I relax into his chest.

  “Don’t think that, beautiful. I like you. I want to be with you.”

  * * *

  “Morning!” I hear Kel say as she sprints down the stairs with Lucas closely behind her. I’m sitting on a stool at the kitchen island and Gavin is looking ruggedly sexy, as always, standing next to me, drinking a cup of black coffee.

  “Hey, sis. You remember Gavin, don’t you?” She gives me a knowing smile, walks up, and hugs me while Lucas steps up to Gavin and they shake hands.

  “Of course, it’s great to see you again. Would you like an omelet?”

  She begins to get out the ham, eggs, American cheese, and milk along with a pan and four plates.

  “I’d love one, thank you,” Gavin says, his voice smooth, and then his phone begins to ring. I still can’t believe that he stayed here all night with me. We watched the news and talked about our favorite movies and music. It felt so natural to be with him without any pressure. When he leans close to me and my eyes dart up to meet his, the smile he gives me makes me weak in the knees.

  “I have to take this. Do you mind if I step outside for a minute?”

  I shake my head and pull his mouth down to mine. He smiles just a little bigger.

  I press my lips against his again with a slow and tender kiss. He groans, tucking my hair behind my ear before he pulls away.

  “No need to rush; I feel like I’m taking too much of your time anyway, Gavin. Last night was wonderful, but you didn’t have to stay.”

  Gavin shakes his head and leans forward to press a soft kiss to my cheek.

  “I wanted to and I’m glad I did. I would’ve just gone home, and I really wanted to see you again, beautiful.”

  I smile, satisfied with his answer as he steps away and heads toward the door with his phone pressed to his ear.

  “You guys are so cute, honey. What happened last night?” Kel asks, sitting next to me while the pan heats on the stove.

  “He brought me flowers, he held me, and we talked. It was my best night so far, Kel.”

  She smiles approvingly and hands me a glass of orange juice.

  “That’s really great, Aria. Did you guys… ?” Immediately, I know where she’s going. I jump forward and put a hand over her mouth, hastily shaking my head.

  “No! No, not yet. We just talked and kissed and watched TV, had coffee. He’s so much more than I could have imagined. I mean, he listens, and I think he really gets me. Which is crazy because I’ve only known him, what? A day?”

  She just shakes her head and goes to start the omelets.

  “I knew Luke here three hours and I knew he was different. There isn’t a rule saying you need to know everything about a guy to start falling for him.”

  Lucas looks up from his tablet and narrows his eyes at Kel.

  “You’re such a liar, sweetheart. You were a goner from the moment you laid your eyes on me.” He gives me a wink as my sister turns around, sets the burner on low, and walks over to Lucas. She sets herself in his lap and smacks his arm.

  “You’re so full of yourself!” Nuzzling her face into his neck, she smiles up at him.

  He grins wider, chuckles and kisses her on the head.

  “You know you love me, sweetheart.”

  “I do, smart ass.”

  As they begin to kiss I head over to the door and Gavin comes in, his brow creased with worry as he pushes his cell phone back into his pocket.

  “Everything okay?” I ask, walking into his arms as he kisses my cheek.

  “Just a problem that I need to fix. We’ve been trying to merge with Alcatraz Industrie
s for the last quarter and it just fell through. I’m sorry, baby, but I have to head into the office for a few hours.”

  I can see the stress on his face and I hastily nod, not wanting him to feel bad for leaving.

  “It’s all good, Gavin. Thank you for staying with me. You didn’t have to, though. You hardly got any sleep… ”

  He grabs my hand in his and lifts it to his lips, kissing my palm. I’ve found he only does this when he’s worried.

  “Hey, I loved spending time with you, Aria. I actually got better sleep here with you on that sectional than I do in my own bed.”

  I doubt that’s true, but I smile and wrap my arms around his shoulders. He kisses my forehead and I find my eyes closing contentedly.

  “Dinner tonight?” I whisper. Gavin pulls away and smiles, nodding his head.

  “Absolutely.”

  Five

  AS I SLIP MY BALLET FLATS on and fasten the ribbons of my leotard, my cell rings. I skip over, almost falling as I’m reaching for it. I see Gavin’s name on the screen and smile. It’s been about a week since the night he held me, comforted me after that horrible dream. We’ve gone out to lunch almost every day, growing closer and I’ve found so many things I like about him. His laugh when I try to impersonate my family members or friends as I’m telling a story. His passion for the work his father has done in the technology world, the fierceness in which he speaks when we talk about his sister, Callie. I’ve learned he’s very protective of the only daughter of James A. Thomas. I’ve learned he will only drink when in the company of people he trusts, for some people will stop at nothing to get close to him and his family. When he told me that, I was intimidated. The lavish life style he has is something that is not new to me and though it is a lot to take in, Gavin is much more than a billionaire or a CEO or even the owner of a very large, very reputable technology development company.

  He is more.

  “Hi”

  Gavin’s husky laugh makes my heart beat faster in my chest, loving the sound of it in my ears.

  “What are you up to, beautiful?”

  “Just stretching before my dance session with Eli.”