Finding Beautiful

by Amanda Kaitlyn

  “You love me? You’re not just saying this because of the situation with Bryce?”

  Gavin shakes his head incredulously, taking my head in his hands gently. His eyes are filled with adoration, worry, concern, and the softness I’ve come to yearn for. Love.

  “I. Love. You. Baby. I’ve never been surer of anything in my entire life.”

  I gaze up at him, seeing the sincerity and love in his deep blue eyes. Then I grasp his hands that hold my head and feel the moisture in my eyes. His admission seems to banish all of the doubts and insecurities I’ve been feeling in the past few days. He loves me, all of me. I’d had no idea.

  “God, I love you, Gavin. I love you so much.”

  The words tumble out of me, my heart yearning for this man as he exhales, his eyes brighter now. He shakes his head once in disbelief before pulling me onto his lap, wrapping one arm around my waist and tangling a hand in my unruly hair.

  “Say that again, Aria.”

  I laugh a little, never taking my eyes off his.

  “I love you.” The words are wrenched from the deepest part of me. Then his mouth covers mine. He presses those lips urgently to mine, parting them to him and holding me. One of his hands caresses my cheek. I moan low at the back of my throat as I let go and give my heart to him, knowing he’ll forever be the man I love more than anything in this world.

  I wrap my arms around his back and lick into his mouth, needing more of him.

  “Jesus Christ, Aria,” he whispers against my lips as he sucks on my bottom lip, drawing another moan from my mouth.

  “Take me to your place, Gavin.”

  He groans and attacks my neck with soft and passionate kisses.

  “I’d love to, but we really need to talk about this. What happened with… ?”

  I put my hand over his mouth, stopping him, and shake my head.

  “We will, I promise. But right now I need you to take me back to your place and make love to me on every surface in your penthouse. Can you do that?”

  He chuckles, pulling away from me and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  He helps me up and wraps an arm around my shoulders as we head out of the house.

  * * *

  My mouth never leaves Gavin’s as he pulls me into his apartment only ten minutes later. He closes the door behind us, pressing me up against it. I wrap my arms around his neck and hitch my legs around his hips, moaning when he softly bites down on my lower lip. He then slips his hand under my shirt, touching my bare back and groaning when he comes in contact with the lacy fabric of my Victoria’s Secret bra.

  He pulls off my shirt and gazes down at me with blazing blue eyes.

  “I want you so much.”

  I smile, my blood heating in anticipation.

  “I want you, Gavin.”

  Without another word, he sweeps me into his arms and carries me to his bedroom. He flicks on the lights and sets me on the edge of the comforter.

  He steps back and slowly peels off his suit jacket, takes off his shoes, and undoes his navy blue tie. He steps closer to me and I hastily kneel on the bed, undoing one button at a time on his black dress shirt.

  “You’re so beautiful, Aria,” Gavin whispers, kissing my neck and covering my body with his once his shirt and dress pants are removed. He kisses me hungrily as he slides my jeans down my legs and leans back to look deep in my eyes.

  “I was so worried today. I can’t even think about something bad happening to you again, baby. I need you.” The vulnerability in his voice is my undoing as I kiss his chest and neck, not wanting to think about what he must have gone through today.

  “I’m so sorry, I had no idea, Gavin.”

  He kisses my forehead, his fingers threading through my hair.

  “I know. I’m not blaming you.”

  I tighten my arms around his shoulders and kiss his jaw eagerly.

  “I need you, too, Gavin. Now that I’ve had you, I know I’d be lost without you.”

  He kisses my lips softly and leans his forehead against mine for a moment.

  “I’m going to make love to you now, my beautiful.”

  My heart stutters as I open my legs to him, desire pooling in my core as I feel him at my entrance.

  “Yes… ”

  In every caress, every kiss, every softly murmured sweet nothing he shows me just how much he loves me. And I’m lost to him.

  Twelve

  MY LIPS GRAZE GAVIN’S CHEST as I feel my man stir, his mouth tipping into a smile.

  “Morning, baby.”

  I smile, raising my head and climbing over him, my knees on either side of his body. I feel him hardening under me and I smile, feeling my desire for him between my legs also.

  “I love waking up next to you.”

  He grins, pulling me down to kiss me softly at first, but when I tangle my hands in his silky hair and he moans at the back of his throat, it turns much more passionate. I ravage his mouth with my own, tasting and reveling in the heavenly mint taste and smell of him. His hands glide down my back and squeeze my ass, enticing a loud moan out of me. I vaguely wonder why we decided to dress before bed last night. Gavin wanted me to be warm though I really wish we didn’t have so many boundaries of fabric between us. I want to feel him.

  “God, I want you. Now, here, right here, babe.”

  I slide my hands down his chest and push down his pajama bottoms as I settle my body on top of his.

  He pulls away and pulls the straps of my camisole off my shoulders, unsnapping the clasp to my bra next and tossing it on the floor. Those eyes are filled with his desire for me and it takes my breath away.

  Abruptly, he flips me onto my back and looms over me, his hands caging mine, and his blue-gray eyes blaze with excitement and lust.

  “I want to feel you, beautiful.”

  I moan as he teases me with nips on my neck and shoulder. His breath is enticingly warm against my skin and it makes me ache for him so badly that when he pauses at my entrance, I clutch onto him and my head falls back, hot desire settling in my core and my ever-present need for him knotting my stomach.

  “Aria, you’re so ready,” he whispers, taking my legs and wrapping them around his hips, spreading me open to him.

  “Yes, Gavin. I’m yours.”

  His mouth closes over mine and his tongue coerces my lips apart with impatient licks, his hips meeting mine in heady anticipation.

  “Please… ”

  His mouth runs across my jaw, licking at my neck and collarbone, covering my upper breasts with soft kisses that make my knees constrict around his hips in need. My body is humming.

  “Gavin… ”

  “Hmm?”

  He catches one of my nipples between his teeth and tugs softly, his tongue swirling around it ever so slowly. I call out with the tightening of my center, gripping onto his hair and closing my eyes as pulses of pleasure overcome by body.

  “I love the way I make you feel,” he whispers, moving to my other breast, licking as he goes. He adores my skin and finally, God, finally he pushes inside me with one full thrust.

  “Yes! Oh, God, yes, Gavin.” My voice is raspy with desire.

  My hips meet his as he slides into me again, his mouth coming back to mine where he cradles my face with his hands and my arms wrap around his taut shoulders. Tears build in my eyes with how gently he makes love to me, as if he can’t get enough of me. I feel exactly the same way. I hum softly when his lips come down to caress the sensitive skin of my breasts.

  “Gavin, I love you,” I whisper, flicking my eyes up to his all-encompassing blue-grays. They are filled with such emotion that it takes my breath away. Then he smiles slowly, that full mouth widening on his face.

  “Beautiful, come for me,” Gavin says, his breath against my neck.

  I feel the tightening and tug deep inside me as my head is thrown back. The waves of intense euphoria crashing out of me. I grip onto him as I shatter, longer and harder than I ever hav
e before. After, my lips press to his heated skin while my body hums with the depth of both my love for this man and the pleasure rocking me to the very heart of me. My eyes flutter open at the smooth sound of his voice.

  “I love you,” he whispers, his hips meeting mine once more. His body trembles and rocks inside me. His lips part when he finds his release within me, his head falling to the crook of my neck, my name the only words he can say.

  “Aria, Aria, my Aria.”

  I breathe him in and he does the same, our souls merging into one.

  * * *

  Three Weeks Later

  Excitedly, I open the UPS package from Grayson Dance Institute and grasp the pack of paper in my hands. Enrollment forms and a candidate handbook stare back at me. This is my dream. This internship could make my career. I skim through the first few pages as I feel Gavin’s arms wrap around me from behind. He presses a kiss to my temple and then turns my face up to his with a hand cupping my cheek.

  “Hi, baby,” he whispers and his lips press to mine, a sweet inhaling of a kiss that leaves me wanting more.

  “Hi, how did you sleep?” I turn into him, leaving the papers on the kitchen island as Gavin lifts and sits me onto it, that boyish smile across his face. My heart races in my chest seeing the love and excitement in his eyes.

  “Very well with you in my arms. So your enrollment papers came?” He runs his hands up my thighs and his eyes captivate mine.

  “Yes, I’m so excited! I can’t believe I actually got the internship. It’s such a good opportunity for me.”

  He smiles wider and lifts my hand to his mouth, placing a kiss on my knuckles.

  “I’m so proud of you, beautiful. I do want to talk about a few things, though.”

  I nod, my fingers coming up to smooth strands of hair out of his eyes. He gazes down at me and I know where he’s going with this. He’s worried now that Bryce has been spotted around here. If I’m honest with myself, I’m afraid of coming face to face with that man again. The man that came so close to breaking everything I am. My soul, my very being, my hope for a future empty of pain and loss. Still, I don’t want Gavin to worry, not about this.

  “He isn’t going to come looking for me, Gavin. If he does, he’ll go back to prison. I’m sure he doesn’t want that.” Unless he is here for me, to steal me away. That dark thought causes a shiver to roll up my spine.

  Gavin pulls me into his arms, locking me against the firmness of his chest. He shakes his head and closes his eyes briefly, obviously conflicted. God, I hate this. It took me so long to move on from what happened with Bryce and now that I’m truly happy, he shows up again and causes more trouble for me.

  “I would feel much better if you stayed here with me, Aria. Please. Move in with me. If you are away from me, I’ll be worried nonstop. I live closer to the academy and the studio and we’ll be together. Isn’t that what you want?” His deep eyes meet mine and I see the hope and fear in them.

  I gasp audibly, happiness and uncertainty soaring through me. He wants me to move in with him? Am I ready for that? Yes. No. God, I don’t know.

  “Gavin, I don’t want you to worry about me and of course I don’t want to be away from you. But, I… Do you think we’re ready to live together?” I bite my lip nervously. Am I ready for this?

  He reaches up and cups my cheeks with his hands, grazing his thumbs along my cheekbones. My skin tingles from his gentle touch and the inseparable love I see in his blue-gray eyes. It’s my undoing.

  “Do you love me, Aria?” His voice reverberates through me, heating my blood and squeezing my heart with such need for this man. My answer isn’t even a thought in my mind. It’s not a choice for me to love him, he just takes my heart away with that smile and his gorgeous eyes that seem to read my every thought and emotion.

  “Yes, Gavin. God, I do.” I wrap one hand around the back of his neck, caressing his jaw with the fingers of my left. His stubble is rough against them, the contact fueling the riot of emotions inside me.

  Love.

  Desire.

  Need.

  He smiles crookedly, making my heart skip a beat in my chest. His hand goes to the back of my head, his fingers loosening the hair band holding my hair together until it falls to my shoulders and partially down my back. His eyes captivate mine as he runs his hand down my hair, to the base of my neck, and slips the strap of my tank top off my shoulder. His hand explores my skin. I gasp, my teeth closing around my bottom lip, desire churning in my core. His hand then runs down the length of my arm and down to the sliver of skin between the top of my yoga pants and the hem of the Miami Heat tank top I’m wearing. Kel got it for me on last year’s trip to Florida. Warmth spreads across my skin and I can’t help the low moan that slips out of my mouth.

  “Does my touch make you want more? Are you thinking about the other places you’d like my hand to touch your soft skin? Does this… ” He abruptly pinches my nipple through the cotton fabric, causing me to call out because of the arousal between my legs. “… make you feel the need to have me inside you, around you, consuming you completely?”

  “Aaah… Gavin, please… ” I whisper, my head falling back slightly as my eyes close in anticipation of his body pressing against mine. I can’t form thoughts right now.

  “Open your eyes, beautiful,” he whispers, and when I do, I see his gaze full with a heady mix of sincerity and love. I want him, I love him, this is right.

  He grasps my hips and pulls me against his chest, causing my hands to curl into his bare chest and my eyes to lock onto his blazing blues.

  “Yes or no, Aria?” he whispers, repeating the words he said that first night he kissed me. My head swims with so many reasons for me to say no, but when I see the determination in his deep blue eyes, I nod and whisper my assent.

  “Yes, Gavin.”

  Without another word, he carries me into his bedroom and lays me down onto the bed, his eyes lit up with such joy.

  “I’m going to love you now, beautiful.”

  A hand traces across my cheek, trailing down to my jaw, and the sensation of it feels so good that I just want to enjoy it, revel in it, but instead I open my eyes and gasp when I see the depth in his. His mouth is only inches from mine. Those eyes have such sincerity in them that it makes it impossible for me to look away from them.

  Thirteen

  MY EYES OPEN TO SEE sunlight pouring in, casting shadows across the bed, and Gavin is hovering over me, that ruggedly handsome face only inches from mine as he holds my face in his hands. A smile lingers on his lips, those lips that undo me so easily.

  “Hi,” I whisper, placing my hand against his chest and gliding it through his light chest hair before linking it with his hand across the teal colored sheets.

  My eyelids close heavily as Gavin nuzzles my temple and spoons me from behind. His warmth almost lulls me to sleep, his hot breath against my tingling skin.

  “You tired, beautiful?” he whispers huskily, his barely visible stubble gliding across my bare neck.

  “Hmm.”

  I feel his smile against my neck and he draws me closer, kissing down my skin and moving to my shoulder.

  “Is that a yes?”

  “Hmm… ”

  He pulls my hair to one shoulder and tips my chin up so I meet the intensity of his gaze. His smile lights up his face as he gazes down at me.

  “You’re so beautiful, Aria,” he whispers.

  “You always say that,” I laugh at him, moving closer to him still. I don’t think I can ever be close enough. Gavin narrows his eyes at me, cupping my cheeks. His gaze turns more serious.

  “It’s true, Aria. Once I saw you I knew there would never be anyone else for me.”

  I lean back, my legs straddling his, my hands coming up to touch his jaw.

  I love him so much.

  “Gavin… ”

  I lift my mouth to his as if from gravity, kissing him passionately. I want him to feel all the emotions that simmer inside of me. Immediately he groans,
grinding his hips into mine and grasping the back of my head with an urgent hold. His tongue lashes into my mouth hungrily then he traps my bottom lip between his teeth and it entices a low moan from my throat.

  “You are perfect, baby,” he whispers, pulling his mouth from mine and trailing it down my jaw, moving it to my hair and pressing a soft kiss on the top of my head.

  “Hmm,” I sigh, closing my eyes tiredly. With Gavin’s arms cocooning me and his lips in my hair, I find sleep again,

  * * *

  Adrenaline pumps through me as Peter Piers and Justin Scott, the top coordinators in the program at Grayson Academy, flip through their clipboards and face me along with about twenty other dancers around me. Over the last three weeks I’ve gotten to know most of them, but now they’re my competition for a position in this company. My dream job. I hold my breath as I wait for Peter to begin.

  “Our decision hasn’t been an easy one to make because all of you are such talented dancers. But unfortunately we can’t take twenty-two of you. We can only take three. So we’ve chosen twelve of you to perform individually in our Summer Showcase. We will judge each of you on your performance and will then choose the three lucky ones to join our company as dancers.”

  It felt like I was suspended in air as I waited to hear the names. My name, please, my name.

  “If I call your name that means you’ll be one of our twelve finalists for a position with Grayson. If not, please know that all of you are incredible dancers and these decisions weren’t made lightly.”

  We all nodded as Peter flipped a page over on his clipboard and cleared his throat. I pressed my lips together, holding on to hope and crossing my fingers behind my back.

  “Dianna Ramirez, Jessica Lawrence, Sarah Kennedy.”

  The first three names were called and we all clapped for them as a few hugs were exchanged between the two slender blondes and a redhead that I learned trained in Paris, of all places.

  “Ella Marley, Georgia Calvin, Kasey Phillips, Maya Scott.”