Shadows and Stars

by Becca Fanning

  I swallowed a lump in my throat, nipping from my tea to lubricate my dry mouth. Her story felt far too familiar and I wasn’t sure whether that was or wasn’t a good thing.

  “I tried so hard, Marcus. I did everything right, all the time, every time. And I… I made myself into…” She paused, a pained look flashing through her eyes. She gestured to herself and I could see the self-loathing lathered onto her face. “This. I made myself into this.”

  “This?” I breathed, finally daring to speak, hoping I didn’t break the spell that seemed to have enchanted our time and space.

  “Perfect. I made myself perfect. And yet…”

  “You still didn’t fit in,” I finished her sentence, concluding the story of our two lives. She drew in a shaky breath and stilled her trembling hands. Raw emotion drew harsh and painful memories into her skin and I wanted to reach out to her. To let her know I understood, yet I didn’t know how.

  Her smile withered into a thin line and a bitterness I hadn’t seen before made its way into her voice. “No… I didn’t fit in. I stayed an outcast, a pariah. I wasn’t right, I didn’t fit, I wasn’t accepted. I just wasn’t… I just wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t good enough.”

  SEVEN

  I THOUGHT about Zara’s words all through dinner, even while she was laughing at me for burning myself again on the grill. I really wasn’t having a good time of it at this place. I’d make a vow never to bring a date here again, but then, I didn’t plan on taking any other woman on a date. Ever.

  “You okay there?” she asked before stuffing another forkful of food into her mouth.

  Somewhere during this date, the two of us really did seem to have gotten past the worrying how we were coming across phase and moved on to the comfortable phase. I wasn’t sure how that worked. By all logic, it shouldn’t work. This was only our second date and Zara didn’t want any commitment anyway. Not to mention we were both halflings. We didn’t get a mate even if we wanted one.

  “Sorry, just thinking.”

  “Fancy doing that on your own time?” she teased.

  “Sorry,” I repeated. “I’m with you now.”

  “I just wanted to know if you wanted dessert.”

  “How about we go have a drink somewhere, and then go for dessert? There’s this little café I know that serves amazing ice cream sundaes.”

  “Sounds good,” she replied, a smile lighting up her face and filling me with joy.

  “I don’t know any of the bars around here though,” I admitted. I hadn’t really been around here at all since my mum handed me over. Well, once on a stag night for one of my older brothers, but he hadn’t really wanted me there, so I’d spent most of the night in the corner nursing a pint.

  “I know just the place.” She smiled knowingly. “It’s where all the outcasts go.”

  “I thought you said you tried not to be an outcast?”

  “No, I said I changed things so I didn’t appear like an outcast. But you don’t think I completely forgot how they treated me?”

  “I wouldn’t have thought so,” I replied, thinking about the taunts from my own teen years.

  “And so, I learned the place where all the outcasts go.”

  “Sounds slightly ominous.”

  I caught the eye of the sour looking waiter, who somehow understood that I wanted the bill. He hurried over, clearly very keen to be rid of the two of us. I really wish I knew what it was he had against us. We weren’t hurting anyone. Nor were we taking up space without paying for stuff. His sort could just…

  “Your card, sir,” he sneered.

  I made a point of pulling out my wallet and handing him my bank card along with a smile.

  “Did you enjoy your food?” he asked, seemingly forcing the words out of himself.

  “Very much so, it’s a wonderful set up you have here,” Zara chirped in response.

  “Good,” the man snarled at her, even as I typed in my pin number.

  “What’s your problem?” I blurted out.

  “I’m sorry, sir,” he sneered again.

  “No, you’re not sorry to me. Apologise to her,” I replied, meeting his eyes and noting the hatred in there.

  “I won’t apologise to her kind.”

  A small hiss escaped from Zara but I stood up, putting myself between her and the waiter.

  “You will.” I bared a little bit of fang at him, but he didn’t look very intimidated. If my suspicions were correct, the man was a dragon. Probably not a water one, they all lived in their tight knit community as far as I was aware.

  “Leave it, Marcus, let’s go,” Zara said, rushing to her feet and grabbing her jacket as she did.

  “Not until he apologises,” I said again.

  “No, Marcus, leave it,” she almost pleaded.

  It wasn’t until she grabbed on to my arm and dragged me away that I relented.

  “What was all that about?” I asked after five minutes of walking in angry silence.

  “He was a dragon.”

  “I got that much.”

  Zara sighed. “He could tell what I am.”

  “Really?” That surprised me.

  “Yes. Can people not tell you’re a ha…”

  “Halfling?” I offered when she couldn’t seem to finish the word. “No. Not generally. I got teased a lot about it. But that’s because my sister told everyone.”

  “Oh, it’s easier for dragons. We can sense it on one another.”

  “That sucks,” I said.

  “Well and truly.”

  We lapsed into silence and on a whim, I grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. I didn’t let go either, though I half expected her to pull away.

  “We’re here,” she said, waving towards a large metal door which looked like it hadn’t been used in months. If not years.

  “Are you sure?” I asked, studying the surrounding alley more carefully. Nope. There really was no sign of life here. Maybe she was really the murderer in this almost relationship. It would be a somewhat amusing role reversal if that was true.

  “No, I brought you to a dingy alley so I could have my way with you against the wall and completely ruin the back of my dress.”

  “You could always take it off first,” I offered.

  To my surprise, Zara laughed. “Wouldn’t taking it off be the way to make you disappear?”

  “Only if you agreed to see me again tomorrow.”

  “Maybe I just won’t leave tonight.” Her voice was hoarse as she twisted and pressed herself against me.

  It’d be rude to refuse that invitation. So, I leaned down and pressed my lips against her.

  Zara kissed me back willingly, her soft lips moving against mine in a dance only we knew. A dance I’d try and convince her to keep playing with me for the rest of her life.

  I’d be a very lucky man if she consented. We’d have a great life. There’d be no need for us to live with the other dragons, nor around other vampires. We could be normal. Have jobs, dinner dates with Ayra and Devon or Tate and Sian…though that would mean cluing her in on the whole body swapping thing.

  Then again, I’d have to tell her anyway. She needed to know if she was going to be in my life. And one day even my wife. Hey, I was a poet and I didn’t know it. At least in my own head.

  Zara broke away from me, making me mourn the loss of her closeness.

  “Ready to go inside?” she asked, her breathing slightly ragged. More points to me. I’d call them man points, but I didn’t believe in anything so sexist. Maybe I should call them Marc points. Yes, that sounded good. Marc points it was.

  “Sure.” I sounded a little shaky, but so would anyone in my position. I was a vampire going into yet another nest of dragons. Was nest the right word? I wasn’t sure. But nest sounded like a good word, I was going to go with it.

  She opened the door in a surprising feat of strength. That thing looked heavy, and I was saying that with increased strength myself, and waved for me to go through. Immediately, the décor hit me: dragons. I wa
sn’t sure what I expected, but really this should have been it. Dragons decorated with dragons. That was just the way they rolled. Or flew.

  “Definitely in the right place then,” I muttered.

  Zara beamed. “Oh yes.”

  In front of us was a circle created from the silhouette of a dragon curled up around itself. I could only see one of the wings, but it was folded up around its back, flush against it so as not to break the curve.

  “That’s not like any of the dragons I’ve seen before.”

  “It’s not supposed to. Apparently, the circle is meant to stand for unity or some crap like that,” Zara replied, walking past it as if the whole thing didn’t matter.

  “Okay then…” I had no idea what she meant, but I didn’t want to come across as an ignorant fool and say that.

  “All kinds of dragons end up here. Dragons like Tate, dragons who just don’t like the way things are run, dragons like…”

  “You?” I asked.

  She nodded before pushing open another door and leading me into the weirdest bar I’d ever seen.

  The bar itself ran almost the entire length of the wall opposite, except for the random doors that seemed to break off it. In one of them, I could just about make out the glow of monitors, and people in headsets going about their deal. That must be something to do with the Realms&Rebels game Tate enjoyed. She’d told me it was a dragon only server.

  Other than that, there seemed to be a poker game going on in one of the others. I really hoped Zara wouldn’t drag me along to that. I was a terrible poker player, my bluffing game wasn’t strong. Even Ayra could wipe the floor with me when she had baby brain, which said a lot.

  “What do you want to drink?” Zara asked, breaking through my perusal of the room.

  “A Bloody Mary?” I asked, a twinkle in my eye. Or I hoped there was. In reality, I probably just looked like I had grit in there and was trying to get it out.

  “I don’t think they’ll make them like you have them,” she retorted, clearly catching my drift.

  I chuckled. “I didn’t think so.”

  “What do you really want to drink?”

  Oh good, she didn’t seriously think I wanted a Bloody Mary. I’d have drunk it if she’d ordered it, but eww, tomato juice was not for me. I considered for a few moments. Was now the time to act all manly and order some kind of scotch on the rocks? Or a pint maybe? Or would it be better to have something I actually liked to drink.

  “How do you feel about sharing a bottle of something?” I asked.

  Zara’s eyes lit up, clearly I’d chosen correctly. “Prosecco?” she asked.

  “If that’s what you’d like.” I pulled my wallet out, and went to retrieve my card, only for a perfectly manicured hand to stop me.

  “You paid for dinner.”

  “Not the point, I’ve brought you out on a da-“

  “No,” Zara said stubbornly. “That’s not how this works. We’re on this date together, so we both pay for things.”

  “So it’s definitely a date?” I teased, focusing my attention on her admission. If this was a date, and it was in my mind, then it was our second. Not bad for a woman who just wanted a casual thing.

  “Yes, this is a date.” She sighed but didn’t look too put out by the revelation.

  Progress. This woman would be mine. I mean, I’d be hers too. But she would be mine. And even if she was in denial, she was coming around. Slowly, but surely.

  “Hi Hec!” She waved to get the bartender’s attention and he turned around with a smile that made jealousy bubble up in my gut.

  “Zara, lovely to see you again,” he greeted her warmly, rather affectionate even if she was a regular. Maybe he had an eye on her. Well, too bad. She was with me now.

  I briefly entertained the thought of curling my arm around her waist to make it clear to this ding dong that we were on a date, but I figured Zara wouldn’t like something so possessive and old-fashioned. Instead, I gave the darker guy a big smile and decided to keep my jealous tendencies for myself.

  “It’s been a while. How’ve you been?” Zara asked, clearly knowing him well.

  “Not too bad, not too bad. Just getting ready for the local Realms&Rebels tournament to start.”

  “Aha, so that’s what all the fuss is about.” Zara gestured around and I just noticed the two men fumbling and fidgeting with the computer station.

  “Yes, we’re looking for someone to replace Gavin. He bumped heads with his mate two weeks ago and has been very preoccupied ever since.”

  Zara’s smile faltered ever so slightly from the word mate, but she masked it so well. Someone who didn’t share the same feelings about matings would never have picked up on it.

  “That’s lovely for him. Anyway, could we have a bottle of Prosecco?” she asked, putting down her card on the bar and cutting the conversation short. It was slightly odd having her pay for me, but I couldn’t let it bother me too much.

  “Claro. Anything else?” He nodded, not in the slightest deterred. He probably was used to all kinds of conversations. He quickly shone up two flutes and I held back a snicker. An underground bar hidden in an old warehouse, with gaming computers in the corner and what looked like a boxing ring in the back. A poker table where I was sure they were rolling chips and betting more than a fiver and the scary man stationed near the vending machines had his own little tattoo shop set up. The bartender looked tough and not someone I wanted to get in a fight with, and yet, here he was polishing delicate flutes. The wonders hadn’t left the world.

  “Marcus? Anything else?” Zara turned to me, the question dancing around her lips.

  “No, I’m good.”

  Her blue eyes glimmered as she caught my gaze and I grazed her hip with my hand. Even if I had no idea how it was to be mated, the way I felt drawn to Zara came as close to how Ayra described her bond with Devon. Maybe, maybe I would have a chance of something I never thought I would get.

  “That’s all, Hec.”

  “De nada. Enjoy!” He nodded, delicately pouring the bubbly in the glasses and pushing the ice bucket towards us. Zara reached out, but I quickly took the heavier of the two. Just because she insisted on doing everything fair, didn’t mean that I couldn’t be a gentleman.

  “This is an interesting bar,” I noted, brushing the crumbs from my seat. Interesting, for sure. Clean, not particularly. But it all added to the charm.

  “It’s my favourite spot to come to. Nobody stares. Or well, if they do, they do it only once. Todd may look scrawny, but he is the best bouncer in town.”

  “You seem to know the staff well?” I asked, keeping any animosity out of my voice. Zara seemed to really like it here and I had a feeling it was an honour being invited in. I didn’t want to ruin that by being a jealous shit.

  “The staff? Hector and Todd are the owners. Well, together with Martin. But yes, I like it here. Everyone is friendly and nobody treats me like I’m worthless.” Zara smiled, lights flickering in her eyes. Yes, she was a lot more at ease here than in the restaurant. Especially with the rude dragon waiter. I should really ask Ayra for a half-dragon approved guide in town so I didn’t bring Zara to any other bad places. Or hmmm… She probably didn’t know either. I kept forgetting she hadn’t always been a dragon. I should give Tate a ring, she would know.

  “It’s a cool place, alright.”

  “Yes, Dragon Soul is the best. It’s what we all needed.”

  I looked around, quickly counting heads. “It’s quite empty in here?”

  Zara laughed dryly and rolled her eyes so far back, I wondered if she could see the inside of her skull. “It’s a High holiday. One of the few most of us still celebrate.”

  “Oh, okay?”

  “But later tonight, it’ll be jam packed. But I don’t think you’ll see that,” she flirted, brushing her fingers over the back of my hand. She batted her eyelashes and I regretted wearing jeans on our date. They were becoming a little tight and adjusting wouldn’t be very easy. Maybe I should t
ake her up on her offer and see where the night brought us.

  But then again… Maybe that would convince her that this was really all I was after? And I couldn’t risk that.

  Still…

  My mouth dried as her foot brushed past my ankle and up my leg. She was anything but subtle and resisting was proving hard. Very hard, indeed.

  “Zara…” I warned her, the blood rushing through my head and clouding my mind. Why was I not sleeping with her again? Why shouldn’t I? She was giving me clear signals, she wanted it. She wanted me. And damn it, I wanted her.

  I threw the last of my Prosecco back and intertwined my fingers with her. She chuckled breathily and lust clouded her eyes.

  “Should we get out of here?” she suggested sultry, a cheeky smile dancing around her lips. There was something so irresistible and adventurous about her, I wanted to explore it all. I wanted her.

  “Let’s,” I decided, getting up from the booth and grabbing the bottle by its neck. We hadn’t finished it yet and I wasn’t about to waste it. Zara curled her arm around my shoulder and pressed her warm self into me. I held her by her waist and noted how perfectly she fit me.

  Yes, she was right.

  EIGHT

  I SHOULDN’T BE THINKING about Zara. Well I should be thinking about Zara. But not in the way I was. Sweaty limbs, tangled sheets, her body pressed against mine as she…

  No, Marc. Focus on the damned road before we both ended up dead. That would decrease the odds of the night ending in sex rather drastically.

  “Are you okay?” Zara asked.

  “No,” I replied. “A little pent up.”

  “I could help with that.” She moved her hand from her lap, and drew it up from my knee, getting dangerously higher.

  “I’d stop unless you want to end up as part of a car wreck,” I said through gritted teeth.

  “Probably a bit of a mood killer,” she responded.

  “A little.”

  She stopped moving her hand. But that was all. She didn’t take it back onto her own lap, it seemed quite content on mine. Well, as content as a hand could be.