Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

by Benjamin Kerei

  I did as he instructed and a few seconds later my fingers brushed the troll through a gap in the stones. Its skin was hot, hotter than the stones from the fire. It was also baby-smooth and greasy, but I couldn’t tell if that was its natural state or the effects of setting it on fire.

  Well done, you have successfully defended your farm against a Troll.

  I held my right hand out and felt a cantaloupe-sized green crystal form.

  You have earned 47,682 farmer experience. Would you like to absorb it?

  Yes/No?

  Holy shit, Yes.

  Congratulations, you have acquired enough class experience to increase your Farmer level multiple times. Further growth has been blocked by your first threshold. Excess experience has been banked until you have passed through.

  Class: Farmer

  Level: 24

  Effects:

  +24% to farming ability.

  +24% to farming ability while on your farm.

  Your Strength has increased by 11

  Your Endurance has increased by 12

  Your Agility has increased by 11

  You Constitution has increased by 12

  You have 23 unassigned attribute points.

  Would you like to assign them?

  Yes/No.

  There was no rush of power and strength, probably because everything hurt like hell. The only noticeable difference was the burning in my limbs grew a little less pronounced and it wasn’t quite as hard to hold myself up. I selected No as I followed Salem’s voice back to the ladder.

  You have promotions available. Would you like to select your promotions?

  Yes/No?

  I selected No again as I gripped the ladder and began climbing.

  Congratulations, you have reached level 24 and have advanced enough to reach your first threshold. In order to pass this point, you must show your dedication to your class. Any experience you acquire from this point forward will be banked until you have succeeded in showing your dedication. Good luck.

  I dismissed the prompt.

  The trip up was worse than the trip down, and by the time I got to the top, all I could do was roll away from the pit and gasp like a fish, choking and coughing up my lungs.

  Several minutes went by where all I could do was exist, but eventually, my head stopped spinning, and I took an inventory of my condition. My right leg was broken and so was my left arm. I had several large lacerations on my legs which were slowly bleeding, and there was about two golf balls worth of flesh missing from one calf. I tore my shirt apart and started making bandages.

  I needed medical attention.

  Salem appeared after I was done bandaging myself up. “The troll has fled back to the forest. I suggest you kill the surviving caged wolf, loot the corpses so they vanish, do the same for the troll, and then go to the village for treatment.”

  I winced, fighting to stay conscious. “Can’t you get them?”

  Salem paused. “I could run with a note, but that would require bringing them here, and they would see your traps. If you are willing to let others know what you are doing, then I am willing to go and get them, but if you would like to keep them hidden, then I can hide your traps while you are gone.”

  I turned to the barn. The hay had almost burnt itself out and the fire showed no signs of spreading. By morning the smoke should have cleared. He was right. I could keep this all a secret if I chose. But I’d have to walk four miles on broken and chewed-up legs. For a second, I looked down at myself and wondered, was this really better than farming?

  Then I brought up my 23 unassigned points and dumped them all into charisma.

  Yes. Yes, it was.

  Chapter Eleven

  THE NEXT STEP

  I was lying in my old room in Gretel’s inn, dozing in the afternoon sun, when Salem came through the open window, waking me. I opened my eyes slowly, lazy from injury and exhaustion.

  Salem leapt onto the floor before sauntering over to the door and shouldering it closed. “We need to talk.”

  The last of my dream faded, taking with it the disjointed memories that plagued me. The walk to the village was an experience I’d rather not remember even in my dreams. The guard on duty had let me through the east gate, which they’d never done before, and he even ran ahead to wake Yaceb.

  The kind old healer saw to my wounds, but even with my new charisma I don’t think he completely bought my story of having been attacked by wolves. He saw too many broken bones and too much bruising in too many weird places for him to take my story at face value, but he didn’t push me either, quietly pretending I hadn’t lost most of my eyebrows.

  He gave me herbal tea to help speed my recovery and I slept for almost a day. I’d woken long enough to move into the inn and eat a solid meal and then I was out for the count.

  I moved aside The Farmer’s Guide to Farming that I’d been reading before falling asleep and gave Salem my full attention, trying not to look at my health bar which was still only a third full. “Did the troll come back?”

  “No, it fled deep into the forest. We will not see it again.”

  “Any idea why they showed up? There is nothing in here.” I tapped the book to emphasise my point.

  Salem shrugged. “It is plausible that the troll’s arrival was a complete coincidence, but it’s highly unlikely. If you remember back to when we began this endeavour, I told you that you may not have been the first to have come up with this method and that whoever came to the same conclusion may simply have been killed in the attempt. The arrival of the trolls and the lack of new level for your Wiseman title points to that possibility.”

  “No trolls showed up when we baited the fox,” I countered, though I had been thinking something similar.

  “Correct. And I do agree with you to a certain degree. Trolls are fast, but they are also noisy, which scares away most prey. It is possible that the trolls were using the wolves to hunt, stealing food from them once they made the kill. They can’t outrun wolves in a forest. However, once the wolves have brought down their prey, the carcass is an easy target, and the wolves would not be foolish enough to fight the trolls for it. Perhaps when we lured away the wolves, they followed, thinking they would steal an easy meal. In which case this whole incident might have been a horrible run of bad luck.”

  “But if it wasn’t…then luring out one predator might always lure out a second,” I said. “We might have to face a similar scenario each time.”

  Salem nodded. “There is also the possibility of a limit. Weaker monsters like the fox might be safe to lure, while stronger monsters like the wolves are not. We need to do further experimentation.”

  “For that, we need to improve the traps significantly,” I said, suppressing a shudder. I’d been prepared for one troll, but not two. I’d been lucky. Really lucky. I never wanted to have to be that lucky again.

  “Agreed. Now you should probably consider going outside Blackwood to have these new designs constructed. The villagers here talk too much and serious improvements will be impossible to hide from them if they are the ones making the equipment.”

  “Yaceb said it will be six weeks before I’m fully recovered, so we’ve got the time. Now we just need a plan.”

  “Your math is wrong,” Salem said several hours later. “There is no way you can fit that in the barn.”

  “My math is perfectly fine. I’ve measured this out twice.”

  “There is your problem. You should have gotten someone competent to measure the space, not someone who insists upon using your stupid units of measurements.” Salem leapt off my bed onto the windowsill, stopping me from giving a scathing reply.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To measure the barn. There is no point in us planning any further until we have accurate measurements.” With those words, Salem leapt from the window and was gone.

  I scowled at the vacated space, muttering darkly. His condescending attitude was really annoying, even after all these months. I knew the dimens
ions of my own barn. I turned back to the sketch I’d been making and my mood didn’t improve. I was far from dumb, but there were still rules I didn’t know about in this world, and I didn’t want to waste time making plans that were impossible.

  I put the sketch aside and looked around for something to do. I was on bedrest for the next couple of days. My gaze landed on the book I’d been reading before I fell asleep and I dismissed reading it as an option. I’d read it enough times to almost repeat it verbatim. The only reason I’d been reading it at all was I thought I might have missed something.

  I hadn’t.

  I opened my pack and pawed through, looking for something to pass the time. I’d thrown a lot of items inside before heading for the village. I quickly found my deck of cards. As I tried to pull them out, my money pouch spilled open and the green experience crystal I received from defending the farm against the wolves fell out, touching my skin.

  You have found 6397 farmer experience. Would you like to absorb it?

  Yes/No?

  I pulled my hand away and selected No. Another prompt appeared.

  You have promotions available. Would you like to see your promotions?

  Yes/No?

  I stared at the prompt for a few seconds. In my haste and then injured state, I’d completely forgotten about my promotions. I selected Yes.

  Congratulations, you have reached level 10 and advanced your Farmer class. You may now select your first promotion from the list. Remember, you can only select one promotion and all decisions are final.

  Horticultural Care- Crops that grow on your farm are 5% less affected by pest and disease.

  Quality Fertilizer- Crops that grow on your farm require 5% less fertilizer.

  Special promotion requirements met: Reach level 10 using experience predominately gained from defending your farm from monsters.

  Special promotion: Monster Bane- Monsters are 10% less likely to enter your farm.

  Promotions were something all classes received every ten levels. They had several different effects depending on your class and many of them literally defied the laws of physics. The first two options were in the book beside me. They were the standard promotions every farmer could choose. The third special promotion was not.

  I picked up the book just in case and skimmed through the list of promotions. The list went all the way up to level 100 and included dozens of special promotions and their requirements, but I didn’t see any called “Monster Bane.”

  I pulled out a sheet of paper and made a note copying the special promotion word for word. I had no interest in the promotion, but I didn’t doubt there would be someone out there who would want it. And it would be a total waste not to record it. I wrote it down on the paper and then put everything aside and looked at the options again.

  My gaze hovered over “Horticultural Care.”

  Sure, there were people out there that produced amazing quality crops through skill, dedication, and commitment, but I wasn’t one of them. My two crops had come out as barely edible, which hadn’t bothered me until now.

  I hadn’t expected to hit my first threshold this quickly. But now that I had, quality was an issue. There were numerous ways to break through the level 25 threshold listed in the book, but the fastest of all of them revolved around quality. All I had to do was grow 100 crops of exceptional quality food and I would be able to pass through the threshold.

  Usually, farmers that reached this point had most of the requirements met in one way or another and would only have to do the last little bit that put them over the edge. However usually didn’t apply to me. I was going to have to start from square one. Basis crops like squash allowed you to magically grow one field to begin with, but added another one every time you gained five levels in the farmer class or skill, so I could now theoretically plant out five fields at once, or six with the 18% productivity buff I received from Jeric being in charge of the village That meant six months of hard farming to level further at the very soonest and it would require I make no mistakes. And that was about as likely as me waking up one morning and looking forward to farming.

  Thankfully, this would be the only time I’d have to farm my way through a threshold myself. Once I became a farm manager, the next three thresholds could be achieved by employing people. But this one was going to be all me.

  I looked at the promotion options one more time, knowing that I could upgrade the promotions further with farmer promotion crystals. But I’d need to buy those from the adventurer’s guild as there was no way to do it through leveling. Knowing all that, I wasn’t happy with the options I saw or what they meant.

  However I looked at it, this was going to be expensive in either time or money.

  Sure, high quality produce sold for more in places like the capital, but most people got by on decent quality food or lower. So I wouldn’t make much extra money by having better quality food, only get to my threshold faster. So anything I spent to improve the quality of my crops was just going to be an extra cost.

  But if I didn’t pay that cost in money, I would have to pay it in time. It would take me almost twice as long to break through the threshold if I focused on yield rather than quality. At the end of the day, I wanted out of the farmer class as fast as possible. If I was going to choose anything, Horticultural Care would be it, and I’d have to spend the money.

  However, I wasn’t entirely sure that was the right decision so I dismissed the list. The moment the prompt vanished, another appeared.

  Congratulations, you have reached level 20 and advanced your Farmer class. You may now select your second promotion from the list. Remember, you can only select one promotion and all decisions are final.

  Animal Husbandry- Animals that grow on your farm are 5% less affected by pest and disease.

  Animal Fertilizer- Animals that grow on your farm produce 5% more fertilizer.

  Special promotion requirements met: Reach level 20 using experience predominately gained from defending your farm from monsters.

  Special promotion: Monster Terror- Monsters are 10% more intimidated when on your farm.

  I picked up the book for a second time and skimmed through the area with the promotions, looking for the Monster Terror promotion. I didn’t see it or expect to. I grabbed the sheet of paper and copied down the new special promotion word for word. I still had no interest in the promotion, even though I knew how much it would have helped with the troll. Maybe if I had had this promotion then the damn thing would have seen the one in the pit and run.

  Again, I wasn’t sure what the right course of action was, so I dismissed the list.

  As the prompt disappeared, yet another one appeared.

  Congratulations, you have reached level 24 and have advanced enough to reach your first threshold. In order to pass this point, you must show your dedication to your class. Any experience you acquire from this point forward will be banked until you have succeeded in showing your dedication. Good luck.

  As there was no question to answer, the prompt eventually faded on its own.

  I pulled up my stats.

  I’d certainly grown a lot in a short amount of time. Though I couldn’t really tell from examining my body. There were no bulging muscles or rock-hard abs. I didn’t suddenly feel healthier or faster. The only profound change was my teeth. They were straighter. As a kid back home, I’d had braces to correct them. The guy who had my body before me hadn’t been so lucky. My teeth had been a bit of a mess and were a minor annoyance. However, now my teeth were nearly as good as they used to be.

  A knock at the door pulled me from my navel-gazing.

  “Come in,” I said.

  Jeric opened the door, took one look at me, and froze.

  I’d never seen someone see a ghost, even though I lived with one, but I imagine they would have looked like Jeric. The blood left his face as his skin turned pale, immediately aging him. It took several seconds for him to gather himself before he could finally splutter, “It worked.”

&
nbsp; “Not exactly,” I said.

  My reply seemed to shock him further because he stumbled to the chair in the corner of the room and collapsed.

  I leaned over the bed, picked up my crutch, and pushed the door closed with it.

  The slamming door seemed to startle Jeric out of his state a bit. He glanced at the door and then back to me. “Sorry, what…how…so many levels.”

  “Wait, what level do you see?”

  “Twenty-four,” Jeric replied.

  “Damn. Okay, don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to have to explain how it grew so fast.”

  Jeric nodded numbly. “I won’t, but Redcliff and the captain will see your level as easily as I can, and the villagers might notice the slight change in your appearance. Your exploit worked.” He said it as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying.

  “Ah, kind of.”

  Jeric’s eyes went wide. “You were meant to be higher?”

  “Lower, actually.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

  I sighed and waved for him to close the window. “I can trust you, right?”

  Jeric nodded as he walked across the room and shut the window. “You can, but I would be willing to take an oath, under the circumstances. I’ve never seen anyone level so quickly. What you’ve found could change the world.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think so. Not unless I can get it to work properly.”

  Jeric growled as he sat back down. “You keep insisting your exploit hasn’t worked despite your level. I need some sort of explanation or this conversation will drive me mad.”

  I stared at Jeric for nearly a minute, and then I reached into my pack and removed the experience I received from the quilled fox, but never absorbed, dismissing the prompts as I handed it to him. “That was my first success.” Jeric wasn’t a farmer, so I didn’t fear him absorbing the experience, but giving it to him would allow him to see the amount.