Oh Great! I was Reincarnated as a Farmer

by Benjamin Kerei

  We were in trouble.

  My gaze travelled down the line. I could see that the number of monsters had plummeted, but two barns where the komododiles had entered were already half torn down.

  Only the one directly in front of the barn I was currently in still seemed to be holding up.

  My barns weren’t going to work.

  Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 16.

  I dismissed the prompt, trying to ignore how brightly I was glowing as I continued to watch the monsters kill themselves.

  The first of the eight trolls who had been salivating at me while I freed the trapdoor was only fifty yards away. It and two of its friends were following my damn glow like they were the Three Wise Men.

  I turned and sprinted to the back of the barn, past the dozen goats trapped in the pens, and leapt into the concentrated granite reinforced control room, slamming the door closed behind me. I looked out of the stone box through the small viewing window, knowing the glow I was giving off would let them know exactly where I was, despite the entrance to the barn being almost eighty yards away. Two dozen levers were positioned in front of me ready to activate traps that would bring nothing but death to the barn’s invaders.

  Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 17.

  I dismissed the prompt.

  How quickly were they dying? I only received like, 1% of their experience for that skill, but I was leveling fast.

  The Three Wise Men showed they couldn’t live up to their name when they ran straight onto the trapdoor at the entrance. I grinned as their weight triggered the rotation, dropping them into the pit.

  Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 18.

  The next two trolls that showed up leapt over the trapdoor, having seen the danger, and landing inside. They looked around, quickly spotting where I was hiding because of the glow.

  Maybe they deserve to be called the Three Wise Men, even though there are only two. They seemed smarter than the others.

  They charged.

  Maybe not. If they were wise, they would run away.

  I didn’t activate anything. There were enough automated traps to deal with them.

  The first one got a quarter of the way into the barn before it stepped on a second trapdoor and disappeared. The one behind it stopped.

  Huh, maybe I was wrong. Maybe that one has what it takes.

  I pulled one of the two dozen levers at my disposal and watched as a swinging axe cut the troll in half. Blood went everywhere.

  The last three trolls tried leaping inside, but the first miscalculated the distance, trying to jump after stepping on the trapdoor. The rotating door hit the other two’s legs, causing them to flip end over end and fall short of the other side. They disappeared into the pit after their companion.

  Several seconds passed without any signs of a new threat. I had a bad feeling we were going to lose the village. We had built enough barns that several dozen threats could appear anywhere along the border and safely be taken out, but there were hundreds.

  I snapped my finger nervously. “Do I go and get the experience or do I stay up here where it’s safe?”

  I opened the door and started running, dodging the red highlighted areas.

  Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 19.

  I slapped my hand against the closest half of what might have been the wisest troll I’d ever seen.

  Then I turned and ran back.

  The experience crystal that formed in my hand was the like the ones that had formed when I touched the komododile. It held the maximum amount of experience a farmer experience crystal could hold. I tossed the crystal in my satchel as I ran through the door into the control room. A second one began to form.

  I wasn’t just getting the experience from the trolls in my barn, but all the trolls in every barn that had been killed by the traps I installed.

  An ogre roared before I reached the viewing window. I heard the trapdoor spin and it was gone by the time I arrived.

  I tossed the second crystal in my satchel and a third crystal started forming.

  Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 20.

  I glared at the prompt as I dismissed it.

  “Maybe setting up all the trapdoors myself wasn’t the best idea.”

  There was no one around to disagree with me.

  More ogres showed up, disappearing the same way as the first. I tried to shove another experience crystal into my satchel only to meet resistance. I stared at the bulging bag, realising I might have a problem.

  I grabbed the backpack off the hook on the wall and shoved the new crystal in. The backpack was there to hold the cloak and put my satchel in when I had to run. It wasn’t supposed to be used for a situation where all my experience didn’t fit into my satchel.

  I suddenly realised that the sheer amount of experience I had gained might be the thing that killed me. I put another crystal inside.

  Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 21.

  While I loaded what seemed like an endlessly forming series of experience crystals into the backpack, four of the massive apes approached the entrance to my barn. Their fur was tan like a deer and they walked on their knuckles.

  Unlike everything else that had shown up, these monsters didn’t rush. They walked up to the entrance and stopped. They looked at me through the viewing window, and then the biggest one stepped forward and put a hand on the trapdoor at the entrance, testing it.

  The trapdoor began to spin.

  All four started grunting and hooting. The big one caught the door and looked down into the pit. Then it looked back at me. It leaned forward, grabbed the edge of the trapdoor with its massive hands, and then leaned back. I heard screeching metal and then a loud crack as the trapdoor snapped free.

  “That’s not good.”

  The apes hooted in victory as their leader lifted the door above its head and threw it towards me. The creature was massive, but there were still almost eighty yards between us. The heavy trapdoor fell short by thirty yards, skidding across the ground, triggering a few of the traps it landed on.

  Axes swung and half a dozen swinging spears came free.

  The apes hooted angrily as they stared at the triggered traps. The leader looked up and down, checking the barn, and then stared at me and grunted. It turned to the right and started walking around that side of the barn, ignoring the entrance.

  “Yeah, good thinking. Going around the barn is a smarter option, but not the smartest.”

  Several seconds passed, and then I heard the sound of breaking wood, and several of them screamed out in pain. They’d fallen into one of the numerous pitfalls surrounding the barn.

  Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 22.

  Salem ran into the barn, jumping the open pit, crossing the distance in a few seconds, before leaping through the viewing window.

  I ducked.

  Salem flew over my head, jumping off the wall to stop behind me. “You have an ape problem.”

  “I noticed,” I said, tossing another crystal into the backpack. “How is everything going out there?”

  “As of my last assessment, a third of the automated barns have either been destroyed or are so chock full of dead monsters there is no room left to activate the remaining traps. That number has probably increased to half by now. I have warned Quilly. She has begun trapping the village.”

  “Good. What about the giant?”

  “It is still standing where it was when it arrived.”

  Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 23.

  I dismissed the prompt. This was getting more than just annoying.

  The apes hooting outside grew louder.

  “Any idea what I should do?
”

  “Wait it out. The giant is amusing itself by playing king but it will move eventually. Why do you have an endless supply of experience crystals forming?”

  “I figured we might lose the village, so I decided to take the experience from a troll’s corpse.”

  “Idiot.”

  “I’ve realised that. Now, if you are done complaining, do you think you could lure a few more of them in here?”

  “I’ll see what I can do,” he said and leapt out the viewing window.

  Intense light enveloped me as a crystal began to form in my hand.

  Well done, your farm has created 10,000,000 farmer experience in a single year. Earning this much experience qualifies you for your second threshold. Would you like to use this trial as your qualification for ascension? You have sixty seconds to make this decision or the opportunity will be lost.

  Yes/No?

  60, 59, 58…

  What the hell? I had been creating a lot of experience crystals, but I still wasn’t anywhere near reaching that quantity yet. That was an insane amount of experience. Who the hell was picking it up? We were in the middle of a fight, there wasn't time to be gathering experience right now—I’d taught them better than this.

  47, 46…

  Growls came from in front of me, reminding me where I was, and I pulled two levers. The ogres had made it three-quarters of the way across the barn. Two axe blades ended that threat.

  Months ago, back in Weldon, Ranic had taught me every known method for passing through a threshold. I’d forgotten most of them within a month, but I’d remembered them again once my intelligence rose. This was one of the methods for passing through your second threshold that Ranic had described as too good to pass up.

  I selected Yes.

  Congratulations, you have passed through your second threshold. Your speciality has grown stronger.

  Advanced Farm Manager

  You are a man of big dreams. You prefer to give orders and facilitate others in their work than do the work yourself.

  -You can now have 16 farmers under you who receive the same benefits of working on your farm as you do. These farmers can now also be other Farm Mangers, but they can only have the same number of farmers under them that a skilled farmer of the same level would have under them and their promotions do not apply to your farm.

  -Your promotions apply to everyone working under you along with yourself unless otherwise stated. (Identical promotions will default to the highest-level promotion.)

  -Work performed by farmers under you applies to your future thresholds.

  -Your attribute allotment will remain as constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma.

  I dismissed the prompt.

  Well done, you have passed through your second threshold and improved your Farm Manager speciality. Since you produced 10,000,000 farmer experience in a single year, you have received a legendary threshold boon.

  While on your farm, you automatically receive a 10% experience bonus from experience generated within its boundary. While on a farm that is not your own, you automatically receive a 10% experience bonus from experience generated by the farmers who are part of that farm. Experience gained through this method does not crystallize.

  As soon as I dismissed that prompt, another appeared.

  Well done, you have passed through your second threshold and gained access to your reserve of experience. Your reserve contained enough Farmer experience to increase your level multiple times. For passing through your threshold, you receive a 1 point increase to all of your base attributes instead of your regular attribute allotment.

  Class: Farmer

  Level: 74

  Effects:

  +74% to farming ability.

  +74% to farming ability while on your farm.

  Your Strength has increased by 1

  Your Endurance has increased by 1

  Your Dexterity has increased by 1

  Your Agility has increased by 1

  Your Constitution has increased by 13

  Your Intelligence has increased by 13

  Your Wisdom has increased by 13

  Your Charisma has increased by 13

  You have 24 unassigned attribute points.

  Would you like to assign them?

  Yes/No?

  I selected charisma and dumped all 24 points into it.

  My body began to change.

  You have promotions available. Would you like to select your promotions?

  Yes/No?

  I selected No.

  Congratulations, you have reached level 74 and advanced enough to reach your third threshold. In order to pass this point, you must show your dedication to your class. Any experience you acquire from this point forward will be banked until you have succeeded in showing your dedication. Good luck.

  I dismissed the prompt and opened up my interface, going down the list to my fifth-tier promotions as I pulled a lever killing a troll. A prompt appeared.

  Congratulations, you have reached level 50 and advanced your farmer class. You may now select your fifth promotion from the list. Remember, you can only select one promotion and all decisions are final.

  Farming Bonus – You and the farmers that work under you on your farm receive 5% more farmer experience.

  Skill Bonus – You and the farmers that work under you on your farm receive 5% more skill experience.

  Special Promotion requirements met: Reach level 50 using experience predominately gained from defending your farm.

  Advanced Farming Bonus – You and the farmers that work under you on your farm receive 10% more farmer experience.

  Special Promotion requirements met: Master a skill

  Advanced Skill Bonus – You and the farmers that work under you on your farm receive 10% more skill experience.

  I selected the advanced farming bonus.

  Congratulations, you have selected the Advanced Farming Bonus. To increase the level of this promotion, you must use five farmer promotion crystals.

  I dismissed the prompt and pulled another lever.

  I knew focusing on the present was important, but gaining an additional 10% experience for what we were doing was something I simply couldn’t ignore. If the village survived the night, that 10% would change someone’s life.

  Well done, you have gained a new level in your Trapsmith skill. You are now level 24.

  Stupid prompts.

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  POOR DECISIONS

  Dozens of dead ogres and trolls littered the barn floor, creating a corpse bridge that the cyclopes were now using to safely navigate their way towards me. The goats in the pen were dead and the chickens were nothing but piles of bloody feathers. The surviving apes were tearing their way through the right- and left-hand sides of the barn in time with the rhythmic chanting of the cyclopes, but the most frustrating part of the whole situation was Salem was yelling at me.

  “You cannot take the experience with you,” Salem said. “With the extra weight, you will not be able to outrun the apes.”

  I pulled three levers in quick succession and watched as the axes swung towards the cyclopes, keeping an eye on the poorly-thrown spears that were hurtling towards my control room. “I’m not leaving it here for the monsters to absorb.”

  “Maybe you should have thought about that before getting greedy?”

  “I’m not giving it to them and that’s final.”

  “Then absorb it yourself.”

  I scowled. Technically, level 100 wasn’t the maximum level of a class, just the level where you got access to a second class. As far as anyone knew, there was no level cap. There was, however, the small issue of each level past 100 costing a hundred times more experience, and there were still thresholds that you needed to pass every 25 levels.

  It would literally take two of the melon-sized crystals of experience to get me a single additional level. That was twice the experience needed to reach level 100. And there were 18 crystals more than I could comfortably carr
y. That was 9 levels for me, but enough experience to get nearly 1800 people to level 10 or at minimum 45,000 crowns when sold. It was enough gold to get me out of debt.

  “There has to be another way.”

  “There was. You could have put your attributes into strength and been able to carry it, but you chose to be a little prettier instead. You have thirty seconds to make a decision. You can save the 10 in your satchel or die trying to save all 28.”

  “Damn it,” I said as I picked up the first crystal and focused on it.

  You have found 505,000 farmer experience.

  Would you like to absorb this experience?

  Yes/No?

  I cringed as I selected Yes, hating how wasteful I was being.

  The crystal vanished. There was no light showing that I had done something great. It was as if the world that had celebrated every achievement understood that what I was doing wasn’t something to be praised. I repeated this 17 more times, not bothering to pull the crystals out, just letting my hand brush against them one after the other.

  I shouldered the much lighter backpack onto my back and pulled the big red lever before grabbing my war pitchfork and climbing the ladder against the wall at the back of the control room. Unlike the big red lever from my second iteration of my trap barn, nothing immediately happened. The whole running out of a burning building experience was not something I wanted to repeat. It was not as epic as I imagined. All this lever did was change my manual traps to automatic.