Pieces of Me

by Jacquie Underdown

  And then I’d leave her.

  That was the one thing gnawing at my conscience. The one thing I couldn’t reconcile in my mind. Physically, I wanted her so much. But I also couldn’t leave her dangling.

  But what if Hannah is okay with a short-term arrangement?

  There. I thought it. What if Hannah was okay with a short-term arrangement? She wrote it on her bucket list that she wanted a one-night stand. Why couldn’t I be that one-night stand? Maybe one night would be enough to get it out of my system. We get down and dirty for a single night and then things might calm down between us. This panging in my chest and further down would cease, or at the very least, lessen.

  Hell, while we were at it, we could go for it in a public space, strike two off her list at the one time. And if she was going to do it anyway, I’d rather it be with me. I thought of Graeme. Yes. I’d definitely rather it be with me. At least I’d make her come.

  I met her blue gaze and grinned sheepishly. I took a deep breath. Screw it. I was just going to say it. Get it out there. If she wasn’t okay with it then we’d move on. Hopefully. ‘I was thinking about your bucket list.’

  Her eyes narrowed. ‘Oh.’

  I cleared my throat, trying to loosen up the nervous tension there. ‘Yeah. I was thinking about a couple of the points I read.’

  Her cheeks flamed. But she nodded.

  To hell with it. It was now or never. ‘I want you. I want to be your one-night stand. We can’t have a relationship. That’s clear. Not with me leaving. That’s if you’d even want one with me. I mean, you said you’re not ready anyway and I totally understand that. Completely. So if you want to have a one-night stand, I want you to have it with me. No strings. Just to ease some of this—’ I shook my hands, ‘—tension.’

  Her eyes were wide by the time I’d finished, but the rest of her face was giving nothing away. Oh god, that was too much truth right there. I felt like an idiot. I’d got it wrong. I’d read all of this … wrong.

  ‘I … um.’

  ‘It doesn’t have to be weird. It can happen naturally. We don’t have to force it. Just when the time’s right, we can—’ I peered at those lush lips, those big, beautiful breasts, her hips, ‘—check that item off your list.’

  Her chest was rising and falling sharply and I was getting hard just thinking about touching her, pushing deep inside her.

  ‘Give me time to think about it?’ Her words were breathy. Weak.

  I nodded as I ran a tongue over my bottom lip. ‘Sure. Of course.’

  She looked away, headed back to the table and joined the others.

  Oh my fucking God. Did that just happen?

  Chapter 35

  Hannah

  I was breathless. My heart rate had ratcheted. My head was light and tingling as desire pooled in the most sensitive areas of my body. I couldn’t concentrate on the conversation around me. Not when Bear’s proposition was intruding on every thought.

  ‘You want another drink, Hannah?’ asked Ryan.

  I shook my head. ‘No thanks. I’m fine.’ He stood and strode to the bar leaving me and Bear sitting opposite each other. Daniel was in conversation with Jasmine and Natalie, so that left the silence between us conspicuous.

  He caught my eye, no obvious expression on his face.

  ‘Would you mind dropping me home, Bear?’ I asked.

  ‘Sure.’ He frowned and rubbed his chin. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve … asked too much.’

  I shook my head. ‘No. That’s not it. I’m a little tired. That’s all.’ I wasn’t tired. I was buzzing. His question had stirred up an energy inside that had long sat dormant. When he had kissed me the other night, he had brushed over and swirled this energy around like wind with autumn leaves. I hadn’t been able to tame it since. Both exciting and scary. Right now, as this energy roared through me, I felt sexy and needed, the opposite of everything Allister made me feel. It was what I’d buried way down, afraid that if it had its way with me, Allister would hurt me more. Because that was the part of me that was powerful, and the part of me he was scared of and hated the most.

  It was unfamiliar feeling like this, yet it felt right. A dichotomy of pleasure and fear. Fear of where it could take me. Fear of what it used to mean. Yet pleasurable in the sense it confirmed that those pieces of me I thought were lost forever were finding their way home.

  We said goodbye to the others and Bear walked me down to the car park. I stood facing him beside his motorbike. We’d not spoken. The air between us was charged. I did want to say yes to his proposition, but a part of me still held back. It was hard to break completely free from old chains.

  Bear stepped closer and I looked up into his eyes. There was so much of his own pain hiding in them. We weren’t too dissimilar Bear and I. Both fighting our own demons. With every decision came the weighing and considering of possible emotional and physical impacts.

  He took my face between his huge hands. There was no fear in my mind where he was concerned. Despite the enormity of his frame and the strength of his body, he was the most caring man I’d ever met. He was good for me. He was helping me learn to trust again.

  His lips found mine and he sighed. He edged my mouth open and our tongues met, warm and soft. Sparks of lust flickered over my skin as he sank deeper into the kiss, and his body melted against mine.

  He broke off and peered at my face. His chest was rising and falling sharply. ‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Let’s get you home.’

  He handed me my helmet and put on his own.

  I climbed on his motorbike behind him. My thighs wide, wrapped around his waist, felt obscenely erotic. I circled my arms around his middle, noticing the hardness of his muscles, the deep inhalations expanding his ribs. All my senses were heightened. My awareness of his body and my own had amplified. I rolled my hips forwards as I edged closer on the seat and was flooded with such vivid sexual sensation. It was as though my body was feeling this way for the first time. My breaths were shallow, my limbs tingling. I had given myself permission to surrender to the sweet caress of what if and what could be.

  I leant forward so he could hear me. ‘Yes,’ I said.

  His muscles tensed then relaxed. ‘Tonight?’

  ‘Now.’

  He started the motorbike and we took off up the road. He drove past my street, headed to his house and pulled up in the driveway. He cut the engine and my stomach twisted—a pleasurable tension.

  I climbed off the bike and handed him my helmet. He left them on the bike, took my hand and led me up to his front door.

  He spun to face me. ‘You sure about this?’

  My heart was beating double time, but I didn’t care. ‘Yes.’

  He nodded. With a quick twist of his keys, we were inside and his hands were on my waist. He pulled me to him, while he kicked the door shut. Keys dropped to the floor with a tinny clang. His mouth found mine, warm, insistent, and so damn sensual I sighed.

  ‘Oh, Hannah, I’ve wanted to do this since I first saw you.’

  His admission jolted my heart, but I couldn’t think, couldn’t reply, too lost in the way his tongue moved with mine, the taste of him, the coarseness of his stubble against my chin. Swept away by his big, dominating body, so hot and hard, and his firm hands roaming over my arse, up my back, my neck.

  A tight coil of lust that had been building for so long, unravelled in my belly and spread its tingling presence everywhere. It had been too long since I felt this deep, throbbing need.

  He pulled away and I was bereft. I longed for those hands now. That body. He threaded his fingers with mine and I followed through the darkness to his bedroom. The lights were flicked on.

  ‘I want to see you.’ His voice was hoarse from arousal. ‘Taste you.’

  My breaths deepened. I had never had someone speak to me like this. Words fuelled by such want. Such directness. Could I handle Bear? Could I handle this intensity of man? I was suddenly unsure what to do. How to be. Thoughts had crept in, stealing my security.


  He peered at me with those pale green eyes. And I stared back. Just breathing. Unable to move, unknowing how to.

  He stepped closer. ‘Take your shirt off.’

  His voice soothed me, his control made me trust him more. I reached for my hem and pulled my shirt over my head.

  His gaze dipped to my breasts, nestled within my new bra. ‘Oh hell, Han,’ he growled. Such genuine adoration in his tone.

  ‘Your jeans,’ he said, words grainy and deep.

  I was unable to look at him as I kicked my slip-ons off, undid my button, the zip, and slid my jeans down. But I could hear his heavy breaths. When I looked at his face again, his eyelids were heavy with arousal, his gaze roaming over my body.

  ‘You’re so damn sexy.’

  I noticed his erection straining behind his jeans then. He tugged his shirt off, his shoes, jeans and underwear. No self-consciousness as he stood there before me and I took in every inch of his flesh. A body sculpted by hard work and kissed by the sun. His erection was so thick and long as it stood rock solid at the crest of his thighs.

  My god, was I able to handle that?

  He took a step closer. Another. Eyes intent on mine until he was so close I could feel the warmth from his body permeating my own. He cupped my breasts in his big hands and ran his thumbs over the nipples. His fingertips weren’t soft, but rough. And the friction this created was insanely pleasurable. He bent lower and sucked the flesh just above my bra into his mouth, all the while his thumbs kept rubbing my nipples through the fabric. I sighed. Couldn’t help myself. His touch was unbelievable.

  ‘Turn around,’ he whispered.

  I did. His fingers found the bra’s clasp at my back. He loosened the clip, pulled the straps down my arms and flung the bra away. His chest met my back, cock pressed to my arse as he cupped my bare breasts and kissed the curve of my neck. I could smell him, salt and man.

  My head was light. My stomach squeezed and pulled on those low pleasure strings.

  One hand still at my breast, he rolled my hard nipple between his thumb and finger, while his other hand drifted down my belly, under my knickers. My head lolled back to meet his shoulder, and I sucked in a gush of air as his finger found my clit. He circled gently, thoroughly, and I moaned.

  I had never been this aroused, where the slightest touch had the power to undo me. How bland every experience with Allister was compared to this big, strong man commanding my pleasure. His hands were gone and I thought I’d sink to the floor. Then I felt them on the waistband of my knickers. He spun me to face him again. His attention lingered on my breasts before he lowered downwards, sliding my knickers down with him. He caught a nipple in his mouth and sucked it into his warm, wet mouth. Lower he went, trailing kisses down my stomach, my mound.

  He focused right there, placing gentle kisses on that soft, intimate area, while I stepped out of my knickers. Naked. Exposed.

  ‘I can smell your need.’

  I rushed my next inhale. He was so honest. I’d never known honesty. I’d only ever had complete silence. Methodical sex.

  He parted my lips with his fingers and traced a path over my clit with his tongue. I reached out for something to hold me up but I only found air, so I held tight to his shoulders. Scared I’d fall if I didn’t.

  An unintelligible groan against me, sounded like, ‘Taste so good.’ Bear drifted back up my body, taking each nipple one after the other as he did. His hand sank between my thighs and he dipped a finger inside me, pulled out and when he entered again he pressed two in. Blood rushed to my sex, a slick rush of heat painting the inside of my thighs.

  ‘So wet for me,’ he said, voice low and husky.

  A soft moan sounded in the back of my throat. Where were these noises coming from? This wasn’t like me. I took a shuddering breath and peered down at his hand between my legs. I couldn’t avoid his cock so thick and hard. I ran my tongue over my bottom lip as I imagined wrapping my lips around the tight head. I blushed a deep red.

  ‘Han, do not make me imagine that, your mouth on my …’ Bear groaned and fisted the hair at my nape. He pulled me closer and crashed his lips to mine. Such voracity, urgency in his kiss; his tongue sliding across mine, penetrating my mouth. His energy crashed over me like waves of sensual needles, pricking every erogenous zone simultaneously. A fire ignited in my belly. I grabbed the back of his neck with one needy hand and tugged at his hair with the other. My knees wanted to collapse beneath me. They did, but Bear caught me like I was the weight of a small doll and hoisted me into his arms.

  I noticed nothing but him until my back butted against a wall, Bear’s dominating frame holding me there. My feet found the floor again. He grabbed my waist and kissed me like Earth, Heaven and all contained within it was about to burst into tiny shards.

  Bear broke away, only far enough that his forehead pressed to mine, his warm breath on my face. ‘I crave you.’

  I couldn’t answer him. His rawness shocked me into silence. All I could do was feel the moment. Words were impossible. I glided a hand over the taut muscles of his waist.

  ‘I need you near me. Your body against mine. You, Hannah,’ he growled. His sharp eyes were like blades, piercing me with their purity. Never in my wildest imaginings would those words have been uttered. I was gone. Past the point of no return. No shyness. No insecurity. The passion roiling inside my body, boiling my blood and bones, was unstoppable. Only Bear could slake this desire.

  My lips met his and I slid my tongue into his warm, soft mouth, and met his silky, sweet tongue. Greedy fists pulled at his hair. I needed him too. So much.

  ‘Take me,’ I whispered into his ear, hissing warm breath between my teeth.

  He hoisted me into his arms again. ‘I thought you’d never ask.’

  I straddled his waist. He was rock solid, nudging against my mound. I rocked, pressing him hard to my soft flesh, and he growled deep in his chest. I reached down and gripped his engorged cock. It throbbed in my fist, so big and as hard as steel. I guided it to my entrance. Without hesitation, Bear thrust deep into me until I was full of him. I gasped, sensation rippling through me as I adjusted to his size, these sensations.

  Bear moved inside me, long determined thrusts. Hard and deep. My back bumped against the wall, my breasts bouncing as his hands clutched my arse.

  ‘So … good … you gripping me …’ His lips fell to my neck and sucked at my flesh as he filled me over and over. I’d never felt, nor seen, such unrestrained hunger. I was flooding with wet warmth. I could feel it all over my thighs, smell my scent and his in the air.

  He pulled out, and I groaned. Needing him there. He knelt before me and lifted a foot onto his shoulder. He pushed my knees out, spread me wide with his fingers and lapped his tongue along the length of me.

  ‘I need to taste you again. How sweet you are.’ He licked again; long laps like I was a delicious treat. I dared to look down at the carnality, his head between my thighs. Oh hell, that scene was too damn hot. And the feel as he circled his warm, wet tongue over my clit. Delicate movement. I gasped in breaths. I was standing on the edge of a cliff ready to freefall into its rapturous waves.

  Sensing my imminent undoing, he slowed, stood, and I was in his arms again, legs around his waist, spread so wide. I loved that sensation, the naughtiness, and the dirtiness of being so exposed to him. He nudged inside with urgent, desperate strokes until I forgot how to breathe, how to talk, how to form a thought.

  Oh, god, I was going to come already. And as those waves rippled over me, my sex clenched and pulsed, my nipples tightened, I free fell into that ocean of ecstasy, soft whimpers and crazed groans sounding from me.

  ‘Han, you … sexy …’ He plunged once more, twice, jerking movements, another and another, a deep, grainy rumble in his throat, as his seed was spent.

  Bear’s breaths came hard. ‘I couldn’t wait a moment longer to be inside you.’

  Chest rising and falling, limp against his body and the wall, I said, ‘I can see that.’


  He grinned with half his mouth, so cheekily. ‘We’re going to do that again a bit later. But slower.’

  I wasn’t going to say no.

  Chapter 36

  Bear

  I woke as the sun was snaking through the cracks in the curtains. Hannah was lying on her side, back to my chest. She felt so good, her naked little body in my arms. And I was so damn hard again.

  I rolled my hips, pressed my cock against her lower back. I bit back a low groan as pleasure stung me like a wasp. I wanted her again so bad. I smoothed my palm over her soft stomach up to those big, beautiful breasts that fitted perfectly between my hands and gently pinched at a nipple.

  Again I rocked, my body taut with pleasure. There was resistance this time, a pushing back and I couldn’t stop moaning low. I tugged her shoulder, turning her onto her back and covered her body with my own. I caught her wrists and held them above her head with one hand. Her sleepy eyes, as she peered up at me, made her all the more gorgeous.

  Her lips tugged at the corners. ‘Hi,’ she whispered.

  ‘Hi.’

  My dick was so hard as it nudged her stomach. I trailed kisses down her neck, eager for her breasts. I drew a tight nipple between my lips and sucked. I swelled more. How could I get any harder than I already was? I tickled the hard nipple with my tongue, loving the sound of Hannah’s gasps filling the air. I cherished the other breast, tongue flicking, swirling over her sensitive puckered buds, sucking, teeth grazing. Hell, I could come already.

  ‘Oh, Bear,’ she moaned and that eagerness in her voice had me wanting her so bad, hard and fast, enough to satiate this gushing pleasure making me ache with need.

  I freed her wrists and held my erection at her entrance. She bucked, wanting me inside, but I held back. Hannah raised up and caught my neck, dragging me down to her. She took my bottom lip and traced her tongue across the length, a salacious sigh sounding in her throat. I wanted to plunge in hard and deep right then, but I held back or it was going to be over too soon.

  Her fingers caressed my shoulders, down my biceps. She gripped my arse with both hands and pulled me down on her as she rocked, trying to tease me right in where I needed to be the most. A guttural growl rumbled from my throat and with a long, single stroke, I filled her completely.