All of This Is True

by Lygia Day Penaflor

  I can see that. Did you meet Fatima’s father?

  No. But he called Fatima one day when we were at her place. She had him on speaker. The conversation got heated. We could hear him barking on the other end. Dr. Ro is not a subtle man. I cannot emphasize that enough.

  What did he say?

  He was expecting Fatima to have a new book already, reminding her of her deadline and her two-book contract. If she was serious about making a career of writing, she had to buckle down. We heard him calling her a hack, a one-hit wonder. He couldn’t understand what could possibly be taking her so long. She said she didn’t expect him to understand. As a doctor, patients come to him, they tell him what hurts, and he fixes them using the list of cures he learned in med school. It’s not the same as conceptualizing an entire world out of thin air. Nobody comes to a writer’s office and tells her what needs writing. He yelled that she had a mortgage now. “Grow up! You’ve nearly exhausted all of your mother’s trust money on that ridiculous house; it’s not going to last forever. I don’t want to support you again!”

  Yikes.

  She was curled up in her armchair with her hands on her head, yelling, “I am not lazy! I am working on it! That’s why I came here—to write this thing. No, I’m not sleeping all day and clubbing at night. And nobody says ‘clubbing.’” She said, “Don’t call me a teenybopper idol! I help my readers in ways you couldn’t possibly understand. I change people’s lives. Just because I’m not a cardiologist doesn’t mean I don’t help people. You have no idea of the good I can do.”

  Whoa.

  I know. Her father is an arrogant prick. Fatima told him that being called a hack and a one-hit wonder wasn’t helping her to write any faster, so if he wanted to call her and check in and be supportive, he was welcome to. But if he couldn’t do that, then he shouldn’t call her at all.

  Is that strange for you now, to know that the manuscript she was struggling with was about you?

  No! [sighs] It wasn’t about me. Good lord. Let’s all stop saying that it was about me and my friends, because the book is about Jonah. And Jonah wanted her to write it! Can’t you understand that? He was desperate to be rewritten. She was helping him.

  NEW YORK CITY MAGAZINE

  FOUR-PART SERIES

  * * *

  Stranger Than Fiction

  The True Story Behind the Controversial Novel

  The Absolution of Brady Stevenson

  SOLEIL JOHNSTON’S STORY, PART 3 (continued)

  * * *

  Journal Entry

  November 5, 2016

  Fatima’s house

  4:23 p.m.

  Fatima’s on the phone with her father. Her dad is a doctor. My mom is a doctor. We share this thing in common that only kids of doctors understand—our parents hold a standard of excellence that we can’t live up to unless we become doctors, too. Even if you’re successful in a different way, even if you’re Fatima Ro, in their eyes you still haven’t done anything as difficult or as important as going to med school. For Fatima and me, this is another thing that we get about each other. Seeing Fatima cry is a shock, but for me, not surprising. I understand more than the others what she’s up against. Fatima being a writer is a rebellion—the opposite of doctor. She’s standing up to her dad by doing it. And she’s far from a hack. She’s no one-hit wonder. She’s going to prove him wrong. I know she will.

  Penny

  Fatima was crying on the phone with her dad.

  That must’ve been awful.

  It really was, yeah. But it also kinda made me feel like we were real friends, you know? ’Cause she could be so inside/out with us.

  I can see that. She was comfortable around you.

  Uh-huh. She said that when she wrote Undertow, it was about her, so the only person she had to please was herself. Since nobody knew she was writing the first book, it didn’t matter if she finished it or not. It was a “flash of grief, a purging,” she called it. She said she was struggling with the new manuscript ’cause the book was about someone else this time. She had to do it right.

  That’s a lot of pressure.

  Yeah. I didn’t really get it, though. I thought that if you were talented, that stuff just sort of poured out automatically. And why did she have to write a second book? She should’ve just agreed to write one. Isn’t it cool just to say you did it once?

  It would be for me.

  That’s what I thought. Her dad called her a one-hit wonder. But what’s so bad about that? One hit is, like, a goal for most people. Do you remember Carly Rae Jepsen?

  Sure. “Call Me Maybe.”

  See? She only had one big song, but you know her. Everyone and their grandmother remembers that song.

  [laughs] I know what you’re saying. Now I’ll have it in my head for the rest of the day.

  Sorry. Me too. But that’s the point.

  It’s a damn catchy song.

  I know! I got bangs cut because of her when I was a kid.

  [laughs]

  They were terrible. I looked like a Lego man.

  [laughs]

  It was the worst. [laughs] But anyways, Fatima said that people expected more of her after Undertow. It wasn’t just her dad either. Publishers and editors and her agent were waiting because her second book had to come out by a certain date. There was a lot on her shoulders. I thought Fatima was, like, super chill. I didn’t know she was so stressed out until that night.

  I can’t imagine working under those kinds of expectations.

  Me neither. No one expects anything from me.

  The Absolution of Brady Stevenson

  BY FATIMA RO

  (excerpt)

  “I need you guys to leave,” Thora said, wiping her tears. “I have to work on this manuscript, and I need to do it now.”

  “Thora, don’t let your dad upset you,” Marni said. “He’s not creative like you. He doesn’t get it.”

  “He’s talking like a doctor, that’s all. My mom gets like that all the time,” Sunny said.

  “This isn’t about my dad.” Thora rubbed her forehead. “It’s me. I’ve hardly written anything, and I have to get it right.”

  Brady carried his plate to the sink. He was flattered by how much trouble Thora was going through to write a character based on him.

  “How about we help you?” Sunny said. “Do you know the premise yet? We can brainstorm with you. Or we can come up with characters. I’m good with names.”

  “Yes!” Marni said. “This is perfect. After all, we are your target audience.”

  Thora snatched the remote from Marni’s hand and turned the television off. “This isn’t high school homework, Marni. This is my career. I’m the goddamn Author of Promise!” She picked her laptop off the table, pulling its plug from the wall. “All I have are notes! Can you comprehend that? And none of them make any sense. I don’t know where they’re going or what they mean! But by some miracle I have to pull a novel out of my ass in three months!” she yelled as she threw their backpacks and coats at the front door. “So go home, will you? There is nothing interesting happening here! Just leave so that I can concentrate for once.” Thora disappeared into the hallway and slammed her bedroom door.

  Miri

  Her laptop was open on the table. She left it out when her dad called. I didn’t mean to read her email, but it was right there. I couldn’t not see it.

  So, what did it say?

  It was from her literary agent, asking to see her first draft.

  Pressure.

  Believe it. And Soleil and Penny had the balls to be shocked when Fatima asked us to leave. I told them to get over themselves. It was her job to write, not to babysit us. At least Jonah understood. He didn’t want to be in Fatima’s way. But then again, he knew she was working on something important, didn’t he?

  I suppose he did.

  NEW YORK CITY MAGAZINE

  FOUR-PART SERIES

  * * *

  Stranger Than Fiction

  The True Story Behind the
Controversial Novel

  The Absolution of Brady Stevenson

  SOLEIL JOHNSTON’S STORY, PART 3 (continued)

  * * *

  FATIMA

  Sorry I kicked you out.

  SOLEIL

  No prob. I understand. How’d your writing go?

  It’s shit. I need something to distract me. Anything good happen after you guys left?

  Um. Sort of.

  Tell.

  Went to Penny’s house to play pool and listen to music. Jonah & I went into the pantry to get snacks . . .

  “Get snacks” means????

  Omg are you really going to make me text this?!!!!!

  Now that you’ve said that? YOU BETTER!!!

  Penny

  Fatima was mad at us.

  What do you mean?

  When she said, “Nothing interesting is happening here,” she wasn’t asking us to leave because she couldn’t concentrate. She was asking us to leave because we weren’t doing or saying anything interesting enough for her to write about.

  Huh.

  It makes sense now. She got frustrated with us when we were boring because we weren’t adding to her plot, but she would keep checking in just in case anything exciting happened later.

  You seem to be coming to a lot of new conclusions lately.

  That’s ’cause it’s all I do—think about the stuff that happened and worry about Jonah.

  Don’t let it drive you crazy.

  At least I found something I’m good at. [pauses]

  What else is on your mind?

  Uh. . . . [shakes head] Nothing. Never mind. I wasn’t going to talk about it.

  Well, you can’t drop it now. I’m intrigued.

  I don’t know. It’s kinda . . . embarrassing. [pauses]

  Embarrassing for whom?

  For all of us—me and Soleil and Miri. [takes a deep breath] Because we thought that Fatima was so wise with her writing and her, like, life-changing philosophy. We followed her around like her baby ducklings. But— [pauses]

  But what?

  Well, I used to read Fatima’s magazines. Sometimes I’d borrow them ’cause I don’t buy magazines; I look at fashion and celebrity news online, you know?

  Right. Same.

  Well, I found this. [pulls out Us Weekly magazine] [slides it across the table] It’s about The Bachelor, from Chris Soules’s season, season nineteen.

  Okay . . .

  It starts on page twelve.

  “How to fall in love on The Bachelor. 1. Look each other in the eyes like Sean and Catherine in the fantasy suite. 2. Use your partner’s name. It’ll make her feel like the only woman in your life, even if you’re on a group date with five other women, as seen here with Jake and his remaining hopefuls. 3. Mirror body language like Ben and Courtney. Notice how they walk perfectly in sync on the beach under the moonlight.”

  Wait. What the hell is this?

  Keep reading. There’s more.

  “4. Share intimate truths, like when Brad told Emily he was ready to be a father; seen here on her hometown date to Charlotte, NC. 5. Ask open-ended questions like Chris and Whitney discussing the pros and cons of life in a small (very small) Iowa town. 6. Share an intense experience that will raise your feel-good endorphins, like Jason and Molly bungee jumping.”

  Did Fatima circle these numbers or did you?

  Fatima did.

  Holy shit. So, you’re telling me that Fatima Ro got her theory of human connections from . . .

  The Bachelor. We worshipped her. Soleil had a relationship with Jonah, and Miri ran an entire student movement based on a theory Fatima Ro stole from The Bachelor.

  Oh my god.

  The Absolution of Brady Stevenson

  BY FATIMA RO

  (excerpt)

  One of the many attractions at Paloma’s house was the pantry. The big draw was that it was always fully stocked, thanks to a smart-home system the family called “Mr. Belvedere,” after a long-defunct TV sitcom about a butler. In Paloma’s pantry, family members simply say, “Mr. Belvedere? We need tortilla chips,” and the system automatically adds tortilla chips to the grocery list.

  “Hello.” Mr. Belvedere turned the light on and greeted Sunny and Brady when they slid the door open.

  “What the hell is that?” Brady asked.

  “It’s Mr. Belvedere, the smart-home butler.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Brady squinted at the touch pad on the wall.

  “No one kids about Mr. Belvedere. He organizes the pantry. Listen to this,” Sunny said. “Mr. Belvedere? Do we have chocolate-covered pretzels?”

  “There are four bags of Snyder’s Pretzel Dips on shelf number two,” the robotic voice answered in a British accent.

  “Whaaaat!” Brady said.

  Sunny grabbed a bag of Snyder’s Pretzel Dips from shelf number two. “Impressive, huh?”

  “Yeah.” Brady took the pretzels from Sunny and looked at the bar code on the bag. “So when you finish a bag, what do you do, scan the bar code?”

  “Yup. Mr. Belvedere subtracts it from the system. When they run out he adds it to the grocery list, which is linked to the delivery service Home Grocer.”

  “This is some Bill Gates shit,” Brady said.

  Sunny laughed. “What other snacks do we want?” She glanced up at the shelves. “Take anything. If you finish a bag you can scan it. Good times.”

  “Hang on a second.” Brady leaned against the counter and faced Sunny. She looked so cute in her tight little yoga pants and slouchy sweatshirt. “We don’t have to get back yet.”

  “What’s wrong?” Sunny asked.

  “Nothing’s wrong.” Brady set the pretzels down and gave a mischievous smile. Things had been feeling good between them lately. The awkwardness had faded. He could tell Sunny wasn’t thinking so much about South Carlisle anymore. “I’m just not very hungry.”

  “Shut up,” Sunny teased. “You’re always hungry.” She was right. Brady could eat anytime, anywhere, any food. When Thora wanted to clean out her refrigerator, she asked him over to finish her leftovers, and he did.

  “Not right now.” Brady shut the door with his foot. “Mr. Belvedere?” Brady said. “Turn the pantry light off.” The pantry went dark.

  “The pantry light is off,” Mr. Belvedere said. Brady reached for Sunny and pulled her toward him.

  Sunny giggled in the darkness as she raised her arms over Brady’s shoulders. “I’m not hungry either,” she said. Brady was right: she wasn’t thinking about South Carlisle. “Mr. Belvedere? We’re going to make out now.”

  They found each other’s mouths on the first try and kissed hurriedly, excited to continue where they’d left off at the castle.

  The smart-home butler responded, “I did not catch that command. Please repeat.”

  “You heard him,” Brady said. “Please repeat.” He leaned back and spread his legs apart. Sunny kissed him again and felt Brady’s hands slide down her back, around her waist, and even lower still. Sunny felt as if she were living inside a fantasy. Specifically, she felt as if she were in The Drowning, chapter eight, in which Sam leans against his bedroom wall and rubs Jules “hard and fast against his body until they were both sweaty and panting.”

  Brady had read chapter eight at least ten times and thought about it even more often. Lost in the sensation inside his jeans and the memory of Thora’s words, Brady gripped Sunny again and again and thought, Here, Sunny, here’s the fiction we both want to live, here and here and here . . .

  Miri

  Fatima ended up writing a whole scene that night.

  Did she?

  Yes. That’s what she told me. I knew she’d be productive once we left. We just had to respect her space and give her time to be creative. She’s very centered.

  I don’t doubt it. [pauses] Look, Miri, I wanted to show you something that Penny found. It might be of interest to you.

  All right.

  [A copy of Us Weekly magazine slides across the table to Miri] Penny
found this in Fatima’s house. Fatima marked up page twelve.

  [flips pages] “How to Fall in Love on The Bachelor.” So?

  Just take a look.

  [reads] [her face reddens] What are you trying to prove here? [closes the magazine]

  I’m not trying to prove anything. I just want to know what you think of this.

  I think you’re trying to make a fool out of me, and I think you should shut your camera off.

  What do you make of—

  Shut the camera off. Now.

  NEW YORK CITY MAGAZINE

  FOUR-PART SERIES

  * * *

  Stranger Than Fiction

  The True Story Behind the Controversial Novel

  The Absolution of Brady Stevenson

  SOLEIL JOHNSTON’S STORY, PART 3 (continued)

  * * *

  SOLEIL

  Jonah makes out like Wes in UNDERTOW.

  FATIMA

  WHAAAAT.

  He chapter eight-ed me!

  Gasp! In the pantry???

  Hahaha! Yes. And it was gooooooood.

  Penny

  She was a fraud, wasn’t she?

  Because of the magazine?

  Yes. Don’t you think she was a fraud?

  I don’t know. The magazine looks bad, no question about that. It looks ridiculous, actually. You saw my initial reaction. But does it make her a fraud? Not necessarily.

  What about her story about the old lady at the Amtrak station and the Conway Twitty song?

  Could’ve still happened. It might’ve solidified all of the concepts together in her head.