Love Disregarded

by Rachel Blaufeld

“Hey, guys. Aston, Mara, and Little A are going to come for dinner. Is that okay?” I said as Piper and Tyler slid into the car.

  “Yeah, Mom. You don’t have to ask,” Piper said. “We know you like Aston. Dad said you’ve never stopped liking him, even when you were married to him.”

  Mentally, I growled, but I kept a smile plastered on my face. Seth had settled into a one-sided game of backhanded warfare. Problem was, he wasn’t lying, so I had no right to argue with his stance.

  “Guys, this is uncharted waters for all of us, and already unusual. We don’t have to make it more difficult. Let’s try to get along. I’m doing this so you can get to know Aston and your half siblings, Piper.”

  “Mom, we all get along. I’m getting to know Aston, and I know Dad doesn’t like it. It’s fine, okay?”

  Wishing my hair wasn’t pulled back, I plucked the ponytail holder out, allowing my hair to shield my face from the passenger seat where Piper was sitting. “You have every right to get to know him. Seth can be hurt, but it’s not his place to judge you. Only me. I mean, he can only judge me.”

  “Are you going to be a witch when it comes to video games later?” Tyler said, interrupting me. “Can we go to Aston’s? I bet you his house is bigger, and he probably doesn’t care how long we play.”

  “Sorry, bud, we’re hosting, and I don’t plan to be a witch except when it’s time to sit at the table for dinner.”

  With Piper sufficiently distracted, playing a game on her iPod, I drove us home in silence. I hadn’t wanted to go to Aston’s. Piper still hadn’t resolved her “are we rich?” issue, and I was certain seeing his house would only stir up those feelings again.

  Also, I wanted Aston to have a taste of what our life was like. His kids would probably be shocked and hate it. For a second, I wondered if I was self-sabotaging . . . and then we were home, and I had too much to do to worry.

  With the table set and fries in the oven, I was prepping some veggies to go on the grill before the burgers when the doorbell rang. Of course, Piper yelled she would get it, and before I knew it, four pairs of feet were running through the house, and a deep voice greeted me.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey, you.” I looked up from slicing veggies.

  “I wish you would have let me host. Denise could have helped, and you wouldn’t have had to go to all this trouble.” Aston came up behind me, pulling me away from the cutting board into his warmth, his lips traveling the nape of my neck.

  “Aston,” I whispered. “Stop with the PDA.”

  “No. I’ve waited all day to say hello to you properly.”

  He spun me to face him and kissed my lips. Tenderly at first, and then harder.

  “Piper took Mara to her room so she could braid her hair, and the boys are probably halfway to catatonic in front of a video game,” he mumbled against my mouth. “Kiss me.”

  So I did. On a breath and a sigh, my mouth opened, and his tongue slid in. With my back cutting into the counter, we kissed like long-lost lovers.

  Oh, right, that’s exactly what we were.

  Aston broke free first. “How was your day?”

  For a second, I was sad he ended the kiss, even though I’d initially fought it. “It was good. Busy. Yours?”

  “Great. I’m back to working big deals, and about to close a partnership with the largest cruise line sailing. We would handle all their business on a five-year contract.”

  “Wow.” Taking in the sparkle in Aston’s eyes, I said, “You know what? You were made to do this. Seeing you excited like this, I don’t regret you picking the company over me.” And I think I actually meant it.

  “I could’ve done both.”

  “Maybe. Maybe not.”

  “I also got a huge break in the case. We’re going to be in court next week in front of the judge for a preliminary hearing. I’m hoping he’ll dismiss the charges. Make it all go away.”

  “I don’t think I even want to know,” I lied, but I really did. My body and mind craved some type of assurance that Aston was going to beat this.

  “When I’m all freed up, I’ll tell you everything. Promise. But now, are you sure I can’t sneak you into a bathroom and take care of you? I’ll put my hand over your mouth to cover your moans.”

  “Aston.” Not sure if it was a need-filled moan or a scolding one, but his offer did sound appealing.

  “Come on. Let’s chop these vegetables.” He gave me the out and made his way toward the cutting board.

  “You cook? The surprises keep coming.”

  As he skillfully sliced the squash, I grabbed a pepper. For a few minutes, we worked in silence side by side, and I imagined this was what it would be like if we really ended up together.

  “One sec,” I told him. “Let me light the grill.”

  Making my way out the back door, I flicked the gas on the in-ground grill, watching the grates burst into flame.

  “Of course you know your way around a grill. You were always a girl with many talents.”

  “Um, we have to eat, Aston. The kids and me.”

  “Did Seth ever cook for you?” His question might as well have been plucked from the sky. Aston might be a lot of things, but jealous wasn’t one of them.

  “This was his,” I said, pointing at the grill. “Sadly, he didn’t use it much because we only got it shortly before he moved out. But no, he didn’t cook much. He worked.”

  I took in Aston, wearing another white shirt, dark jeans, pristine Adidas sneakers, and quickly glanced down at my jeans with the hole in the knee, and my black off-the-shoulder tee. We were a mismatch. I was grilling burgers, and he would probably call for delivery or hire a caterer.

  “Don’t do that.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “Mentally calculate all the reasons we don’t belong together. I can see your mind churning, Bex.” He didn’t get in my personal space, rather looked me dead-on, and waited until I settled down.

  Blowing out a breath, I finally spoke. “I can’t help it. This is so surreal.”

  “Enjoy it. Let’s toss those veggies on—”

  “I can do it.”

  “News flash, so can I. Let someone take care of you, Bexley.”

  Later, I yelled for all the kids, and they came tumbling out of wherever they were hanging out and gathered around the table. Mara stared with wide eyes at Piper, taking in every movement, every syllable spoken. To say she was smitten was putting it lightly. Little A and Tyler laughed and joked while wolfing down burgers.

  “These are good,” Little A said with a mouth full of French fries.

  “Hey, buddy, chew your food,” Aston said sternly.

  “We’re just boys,” Tyler said, defending his new friend.

  “Who should chew their food,” I said, chiming in.

  After swallowing and taking a swig of soda, Little A grinned. “The fries are good, though.”

  “We never have these at home,” Mara said. “It’s always broccoli, and more broccoli.”

  “Broccoli is important to stay healthy and grow. Tonight’s just a fun night. Like if we went out for pizza,” I said, defending myself.

  Aston squeezed my knee under the table, and if I weren’t so nervous, the squeeze would have made other parts of me flutter. “Mara, Denise always makes you a healthy meal. If you want fries, we’ll plan to get some, but I think you probably have enough when you’re at the mall.”

  Mara’s mouth dropped open. “Dad, that’s supposed to be a secret between Denise and me.”

  “Then tell Denise not to put it on my credit card.”

  This made Piper laugh, and I watched Aston take it all in. Her happiness appeared to consume him, and the smile stayed on his face. Then she proceeded to launch into a huge discussion about the mall—her favorite stores, the smoothies at the food court, and a jumpsuit she’d been wanting, but she was waiting for it to go on sale.

  This time, it was my turn to squeeze Aston’s knee when he leaped into asking where it was from. He’d buy
it for her at full price, right this second, if he could.

  “American Eagle,” Piper said.

  “Never heard of it,” Aston said.

  “Oh, it’s jeans and shirts and sweaters and socks. Ya know, everything. All the cool kids wear it. It’s expensive, though. Mom took me for my birthday last year because I got a gift card.”

  Aston pulled out his phone. “What’s it called again?”

  “We don’t usually have phones at the table.” Piper looked at Aston, then me, and back to Aston.

  “I’m sure we can make a quick exception. I want to make a note of this store. I’m getting to know Piper,” he said, turning to appeal to me.

  “American Eagle,” Piper said again.

  “Do you know it?” Aston looked at Mara while he typed.

  She nodded. “Denise goes there for her niece.”

  “Where have I been? I’ve never heard of it. Now that problem is solved.” He turned his phone so we could see he’d pulled up the website.

  “Piper, why don’t you show Mara the jumpsuit?” As he passed the phone toward Piper, I made a mental note to speak with him later.

  “Oh, that’s pretty.” Mara sighed at the screen once Piper had found the jumpsuit, and Aston reached for the phone.

  “Let me see.”

  Tyler rolled his eyes. “Mom, can we go play games? This is so boring.”

  “Let them,” Aston said. “They ate. Loved it.”

  “Clear your plates,” I said to the boys, and Little A gave me a confused look.

  Uh-oh.

  “Come on, let’s toss our dishes in the sink.” Tyler stood up, either not noticing Little A’s confusion or was pretending not to.

  Little A watched Tyler, following suit, and off they went.

  “Done!” Aston exclaimed, and I realized I’d missed the whole phone interaction while stalking Little A’s movements.

  “Oh my God! Thank you!” Piper jumped up from her seat and threw her arms around Aston’s neck from behind. She leaned forward and planted a kiss on his cheek, the messy bun on top of her head falling forward, meeting Aston’s mussed hairline.

  Aston closed his eyes as soon as her lips met his skin. A moment’s peace rolled over his face, smoothing all the lines in his forehead. He’d waited years for this. At least, that’s what I imagined.

  Deciding to let the impulse purchase be for the moment, I told Piper, “I can’t wait to see it.”

  “Mom, I can wear it to the dance! Misty Crawley is going to be so jealous.”

  “Piper, that’s not a reason to be excited.” This type of attitude I wouldn’t tolerate. “Remember what I told you? I grew up wanting for everything, and it’s never fun to be that person.”

  “Yeah, but Misty isn’t even nice.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” I said, giving Piper a disapproving look. “You don’t know what’s going on in her life, so take it easy.”

  Piper nodded and went about gathering her plate and Mara’s. “Bring the glasses,” she told Mara, who complied, although I suspected she’d never been told what to do.

  “Let’s go paint your nails,” Piper said to Mara, and then turned to Aston. “Can we?”

  “Sure,” he said. “Let them dry, Mar.”

  With all the kids back to their earlier pursuits, Aston and I were left alone with the dirty dishes. I headed for the sink and turned the water on, and was rolling up my sleeves when he came up behind me, his arms sliding around my middle for the second time this evening.

  “Let me do it,” he said, his voice rumbly.

  “When was the last time you did dishes?” I turned to face him, and he swallowed my words with a kiss.

  “It’s been a while, I admit,” he said, his lips brushing mine. “I’d like to get you someone to help here. This is all too much for you.”

  “Stop. This is my life, my kids’ lives. Pitching in is how we do it.”

  He brushed a strand of hair off my face and stared at me. “I don’t deserve you. I know I don’t. But I want you, all of you, nonetheless. And I’m going to have you.”

  “Aston . . .”

  “You’re good for me,” he said softly. “Great for my kids. I know you can’t or won’t replace their mother. But you’re all good, Bex. I want to be as good for you.”

  He didn’t allow for a reply on my part. He kissed me, close-mouthed, making a promise to be good or better without saying it. Then he simply said, “Move over,” and loaded the dishes in the dishwasher.

  It was a sloppy and imperfect job, but it was done while I sipped the rest of my wine. It had been a while since I’d been cared for, and this small action plugged a hole in my heart I didn’t know was there until this moment.

  “See? You gotta let someone do something for you sometimes. Now I’m going to take my kids home to get ready for bed with Denise, and then I’m coming back to get you ready for bed.”

  I opened my mouth to argue, and Aston held up his hand.

  “I’ll be discreet.”

  Bexley

  My hand shook as I opened the front door. Here I was, a living and breathing cliché, getting ready to sleep with the former love of my life while my kids were asleep down the hall. My long-lost ex-boyfriend stood in my doorway, waiting for me to invite him in for a secret late-night rendezvous. A freaking booty call.

  I was everything I’d never wanted my daughter to be—other than in love. I’d truly been in love with Aston for forever, and in this moment, I didn’t care how long we lasted. I needed to feel him, give myself to him, even if for one last time.

  My job was to console him, to take away his hurt and ease my own. My happiness should be first, but at the moment, I was all about him. My heart beat Aston, Aston, Aston.

  With the door closed behind us, Aston spun me toward the banister and worked his mouth over mine again. His left hand held me still as the right traveled down my back and up again. On its second descent, he tugged at the hem of my tank and pulled it over my head.

  “Adore this, missed it so much,” Aston said as he dropped to his knees in front of me.

  He kissed my stomach while his hand came over my breast, his thumb moving slowly over my nipple. His tongue lingered around my navel and then journeyed south. He used his free hand to unbutton my jeans and toss off his jacket. Guiding me toward the third or fourth step, he gently set me down and shimmied my pants off, and I heard my flip-flops fall to the floor. My panties followed next.

  Dazed, I sat there, the carpet rough against my bare ass, thinking I’d never done anything like this with Seth in the house we bought together. Not even remotely close, even though we’d been sort of happy at one point.

  Giving my head a slight shake, I pushed thoughts of Seth far out of my mind as I watched Aston shrug off his shirt. He knelt before me, revealing a tattoo of a crest covering his heart.

  That’s new. With a trembling finger, I traced the outline. It was filled with ancient symbols and letters within letters, but in the center was what looked like an A and a B entwined.

  “For you,” he said when he saw me staring at it.

  “Aston . . .” A tear fell from my eye.

  “Don’t,” he said. “Not now.”

  With a stroke of his thumb, the salty drop was gone, and his lips were back on mine.

  His mouth began to move down my body for a second time until he was crouched between my thighs. He covered me with his hot breath before bringing the tip of his tongue to my most sensitive spot. I nearly shot off the step on a long moan. I’d definitely never done this before—on the stairs, bare for anyone to see. The kids could wake up and want a glass of water. Unlikely, considering they slept like the dead, but still.

  “Shh,” he said, stilling me with a hand on my hip and continuing his assault on my most sacred part.

  I came fast and hard, a long-awaited moment of ecstasy after over a year with just my vibrator and hand.

  I needed to remember this, savor it, because it might never happen again. Aston could disappear f
rom my life as quickly as he’d reappeared. Prison. His father. Everything was stacked against us, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I’d held out long enough.

  I’d wanted to draw out my release, but as soon as he slid a finger inside me, I was nothing more than years of want and desire bursting, huge waves of ecstasy and emotion roiling inside me. The stair digging into my back was nonexistent, didn’t matter. My mind only calculated how many hours we had until the kids woke up.

  There wasn’t enough time to get my fill—not even close. There never would be.

  Aston kissed me, my taste on his tongue, and I found myself wanting him all over again. I needed him inside me. Everywhere, touching every nerve, stretching and filling me.

  “Let’s go to my bed.”

  I tried to stand but wobbled when I finally made it to my feet. Aston steadied me, his hand on my hip, and took my hand to lead me upstairs.

  “On the left,” I told him.

  In my room, I heard his zipper being undone and then his pants hit the hardwood. My back landed on the bed, and I watched as he squeezed his length, pumping his hand up and down before sheathing himself.

  And then he was inside me. Deep, perfect, snug . . . it was as if he’d never left.

  He knew what I needed, and he did it without prompting. Our bodies moved in sync, finding all the spots and the exact speed we needed, loved, and had discovered years ago. My hands ran down his back and scratched their way back up as he pumped into me. He sucked on my earlobe and moaned words meant only for me.

  I wrapped my leg around his waist, digging my heel into his ass. He braced himself on one hand and dove deeper, taking long, leisurely strokes in and out. His pace quickened, and my heel dug harder, encouraging him. Sweat lined his brow and gathered in the small of my back.

  The room swirled with lust and smelled of passion. Moans cascaded against the walls, and we came. Hard, together, as one, like we had so many times in the past.

  It was a while before Aston stilled on top of me, still pulsing inside me. When he tried to slowly pull out, I kept my foot in place, digging a little harder.

  “One more second,” I asked of him. “Stay.”

  I didn’t know if I’d ever feel this satiated again. Whether Aston wanted to face it or not, he was in trouble. Not to mention, I was sure his father was about to freak the fuck out. If he wasn’t on his way here already, ready to tear us apart. He might do it himself or send someone. Who knew how many people he had watching us?