Love Disregarded

by Rachel Blaufeld

  Aston kissed my lips tenderly and muttered, “Beautiful, let me clean up, grab our clothes, and I’ll be back.” He didn’t take his eyes off of mine as he slid out of me, keeping his hand on the end of the condom.

  I watched as he padded off to the adjoining bathroom, only closing my eyes when he was out of sight.

  I couldn’t question what I’d done. It was as if a force larger than us drew us together. It had been perfect, special, earth-shattering. I couldn’t allow my overactive mind to ruin it.

  I only feared a force was working against us at the exact same moment.

  Aston

  Being with Bexley was more than I expected. Or deserved.

  The way she held me—it was if I were the only man she’d ever wanted to hold on to. That did something to me, especially since it had been way too long since I’d been held in a meaningful way. Probably since I was last with Bexley, to be honest.

  It made me want to roar and puff out my chest, but there wasn’t time for that. Past shit, ghosts from years ago, haunted us, and we needed to escape them for good.

  Her hands, fingers, toes, everything belonged to me. And there was no denying Bexley owned me.

  After I tossed the condom in the wastebasket, I grabbed our clothes and two waters, and made my way back to her. She was curled on the bed, her eyes closed, drifting off to sleep. I crawled in on the other side and curled up behind her, pulling her close and whispering, “Beautiful Bexley,” in her ear.

  She sighed, and her breathing evened out. She must have been exhausted. I never remembered a round of sex knocking her out. It didn’t matter if she was older . . . she was ragged with emotion and overworked.

  I closed my eyes, curled up close behind her, and must have drifted off to sleep myself.

  “Aston, wake up.”

  I felt someone shaking my shoulder.

  “Aston.”

  My eyes opened, and I found Bexley seated on my side of the bed, her ass next to my dick.

  “It’s almost six,” she said. “Your phone’s been buzzing up a storm for the last hour, but I let you sleep. You have to go. The kids get up soon, and I need to get them to school and myself off to work.”

  I pulled her down for a kiss, murmuring, “I don’t want to go.”

  “You have to. Plus, you have to check your phone. It’s been going nuts.”

  She stood and went over to the vanity and combed her hair. It was the type of domestic bliss I was sure she’d always imagined for us, just not under these sneaking-around circumstances.

  I rolled out of bed, semi-erect, willing myself to go down. Snagging my pants, I checked my phone. I’d missed three calls from my assistant and one from Doug Pyle. He’d also texted Call me.

  I shoved one leg into my pants and then the other, taking my time watching Bexley slip into a pair of flats. She’d already put on sexy-as-fuck pencil skirt and a white button-down.

  “Everything okay?” she asked, her words coming out shaky. I didn’t say it wasn’t okay; that I wanted to get back in bed and rip her skirt to shreds, enjoy my morning . . .

  “Why are you nervous, Bex?”

  “Because the last time I slept with you, you disappeared, and I . . . I ended up having a baby. Alone.”

  “And that’s because? You what, didn’t tell me?”

  “Forget it, forget I said anything. I was lost back then, feeling dejected. I thought I was doing you a favor. I knew the score. I’m just worried about now.”

  She thought she could blow off my questions, and I let her believe it.

  “Well, this time I’m not going to disappear. I’m going to be back again and again until I’m with you all the time. You won’t be lost ever again.”

  “Aston, I’m a big girl now, a grown-up. I can’t afford to get lost with two kids.”

  “I get it, but I’ll be damned if you do anything alone ever again.”

  Ignoring my threats, she walked out of the room without asking me to clarify what I meant, which was good. I didn’t know what I was threatening. Or promising.

  Stumbling down the stairs, I followed Bexley to the front door.

  “I don’t think we should say or do anything radical until you get your life cleared up,” she said as I stood in the threshold.

  “More bull. I’m not waiting much longer.”

  “We’ve slept together once, Aston. It hardly gives you reason to boss me around.”

  “Go have some coffee,” I told her.

  “Don’t change the subject.” She tried to look at me defiantly, her eyes squinting, her hair a wild mess all around her face. Instead, she looked ethereal.

  “You fell asleep in my arms, Bexley. Felt like you hadn’t slept that hard or content in a long time. You did that with me, and I’m pretty sure you haven’t done that with anyone else. So I’ll tell you again, go have some coffee.”

  She scowled and stared out the window.

  “You know I’m right, so I’ll gladly take charge of what I should’ve done a long time ago. You hear me?”

  Her head swung back toward me. “What about your kids?”

  “They’ll adjust. All of them. I told you, kids are resilient.”

  “What does that mean? Were you?”

  “It means exactly what I said. All the kids will be fine. And yeah, I was. I was just stupid.”

  “Go,” she said, lightly shutting the door in my face.

  Yeah, she wanted to slam it, but the kids were sleeping. Thank fuck.

  Bexley

  Much like the summer of my eighteenth birthday, Aston stealthily crept into my heart and my bed with little to no coercing. Despite my attempts to be strong, to stick to my firm resolve, he enraptured me . . . mind, body, and soul.

  Or perhaps I never let him go.

  Inside this older man—slightly more distinguished, complete with laugh lines—was the same younger man I fell for. Yes, he was still bruised from his parents’ divorce, beholden to his mom in some ridiculous sense of duty, but this version was trying to allow himself to love fully, something he didn’t let himself do way back when.

  We lay in my bed, our bodies twisted and spooned together, our limbs tangled as weak moonlight seeped through the window. His fingers walked down my back, touching each of my vertebrae, sending chills down my spine.

  “You need to get over this Seth thing,” I said, feeling the need to clear the air. For me, and for Piper.

  Aston pushed up against the headboard. “Um, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to bring up a strange man when you’re in bed with a different one. This one, may I remind you, being the one. The only one.”

  I sat up next to him and took his hand in mine. “First, Seth isn’t a strange man. He’s my ex-husband, so you need to get good with that. Second, we have to talk about this at some point, because if we don’t, Piper will feel it, and she won’t like the strife. She’s a sensitive soul, wise beyond her years. She’ll internalize this, analyze it, and will come to nasty conclusions. And, may I remind you, I tried to discuss this at dinner.”

  Tyler and Piper were at Seth’s for a movie night. Piper had arranged it, mostly to make Tyler happy. Mara and Aston Junior were at their mom’s with Denise. This was my new reality, as surreal as it felt, and I had to adjust to all the logistics.

  In reality, Seth didn’t care whether the kids slept over, and Aston’s kids didn’t care about going with Cass, but we were doing what was right. Or at least what we believed to be right.

  Aston turned his head toward me and his lips met my temple. Sliding his hand behind my rumpled hair, he pulled me close and kissed me.

  “You can’t just ignore me,” I mumbled against his mouth.

  “I know,” he said, looking into my eyes. “I’m reminding you that I’m the one. I don’t like Seth because he took my love away from me. It’s an ego thing.”

  I scoffed. “You gave me away.”

  “Okay, okay. But he also had my daughter for thirteen years when I didn’t, and I don’t like that. You
have to understand, Bex.”

  My lips fused to his forehead, where I gave him a long kiss full of promise for years to come. In typical fashion, I comforted Aston. It was a role I couldn’t seem to shake, no matter how independent a woman I became.

  “Look,” I said, “I’m trying to do right by him. He’s not been the best recently, but he was mostly there, and had a lot to accept when it came to Piper. Somewhere inside him, he’s a good guy, but he lost some of that along the way. Maybe because of me, I don’t know, but I have to be sensitive to it.”

  Aston’s mouth turned up into a half smirk, half smile, and he took my cheek in his palm. “Didn’t we have such a great night? Dinner, un-fucking-real sex, and I get to sleep over. Let’s not ruin it.”

  He tried to kiss me, but I pulled back.

  “No, it doesn’t work that way, Aston. You can’t sweet-talk your way out of the hard discussions. Especially now, with all these kids. Who, by the way, you think are going to be just fine. Yes, dinner was amazing. I love DeGiorgio’s. The wine, the homemade pasta, and the sex, all of it was decadent, but we need to talk about this. You need to bury your feelings when it comes to Seth. Piper needs to know you support him, because he’s not going anywhere. He’s Tyler’s biological father. He raised Piper until now, and he took care of me.”

  “And now I take care of you. You get that, right?”

  “Aston! Come on, get with me here. Say you understand what I mean. This is about your daughter.”

  “If I do, can we have sex then?” Aston was smiling, and I knew he was joking, but I needed him to pay attention.

  “Ouch!” He yelped when I pinched his arm.

  “Say it,” I said. “We need to be clear on this. I need to be transparent, and you’re joking.”

  “I hear you. I’ll be nice to Seth. I’m only joking because this fucking hurts. This cracks my chest in half, Bex. All this disappointment and destruction was because of me.”

  “I get that, but when it comes to the kids, we have to put that all aside. Even if Seth’s not nice to you,” I said, needing to cover my bases.

  “As long as he’s nice to you, I’ll be nice to him. I swear. Deal?”

  “Deal.” Without waiting for him to ask again, I kissed him.

  “I love you. Always have,” he murmured. “You know you’re going to get anything you want for the rest of my life,” he said, stalling the kiss.

  “I don’t want much, and I don’t need a lot. You have to get that it’s not me. I understand why you needed the business, and keeping the life you were used to, but I wasn’t used to that.”

  “It was foolish. I sacrificed my happiness for my mom’s . . . I know this. All I’m left with is a shit show.”

  The palm of his hand grazed my naked back. We were front to front, bared to the depths of our souls. It was the most honest moment we’d ever had.

  “I’m sorry you felt you had to do that,” I said, running my hand through his rumpled hair. I loved that he left it a little longer. It showed his boyish side, but I had to remind myself that he was accused of a serious crime.

  Addressing the elephant in our lives, I said, “Scratch that I don’t want much. I want you to be free of this. I feel like I’m loving you on borrowed time.”

  “I didn’t do it,” he quickly said.

  “I know you didn’t. In my heart, I believe you wouldn’t jeopardize something you’ve given your whole life for. Your happiness, your being, everything.”

  “Exactly,” he said before fusing his lips to mine. “I knew you believed me.”

  “But what are you going to do? Yeah, the media has died down, but this is serious, Aston. How are you going to beat this while you’re wasting your time and resources on me?”

  “Hey.” He squeezed my butt. “I’m not wasting shit. I told you, I have a key person who’s going to clear me. I was going to share, but I can’t. It will compromise you and them. I’m not keeping secrets, but my lawyer and my PI are the only ones who know the details, and I need to keep it that way.”

  “Because your PI has so much free time now?” Now it was my turn to joke. It was similar to nervous laughter—if I didn’t make jokes, I was going to fall apart.

  “Yep. I get my intel on you firsthand now. It sure beats hearing from him.”

  “Ha-ha. Seriously, I hope this works. For your kids’ sake, and for Piper.”

  “And you,” he said. “It will, Bex. It will. Now, let’s try to focus on something good, like being in bed together, me staying the night, the kids all being busy so we don’t need to sneak around.”

  Our mouths found each other’s, and our hands busied themselves with exploring each other’s naked bodies. I felt Aston’s moan into my mouth all the way to my core.

  Raging with desire, I slid my hand under the blankets. Finding his already hardened length, I grabbed him tightly, firmly, the way he liked it, and jerked him.

  “Ugh, this is so fucking sensational,” he said, his head hitting the headboard. “Just like that . . . God, that feels . . . so fucking perfect.”

  Our lips fused tightly again, his tongue sneaking into my mouth, curling around mine, until his hand stilled mine. With his other palm on my shoulder, he urged me to get on top of him. I did as he wanted—after all, his wants mirrored mine. I seated myself on him, relishing the burn, the friction, the desire curling in my belly.

  Moving slowly, Aston buried himself as deeply as he could possibly be inside me. I tipped my head back and let out a long moan. I didn’t know how badly I’d missed this type of passion and human connection.

  Yet, despite it feeling incredible, small anxiety butterflies flitted in my chest. I sat up and watched the two of us connecting, Aston sliding in and out of me as I moved.

  I was falling hard—incredibly hard—for this man again, and besides the kids and exes, the criminal charges still loomed. Even though he’d said to relax, that he had this, I couldn’t. He kept saying he had a plan, but I didn’t know what it was.

  “Bex, don’t think so hard. It’s all going to work out, babe. Ride me, make yourself feel good,” Aston said, reading my thoughts.

  “How do you do that?”

  “I just do. It was what I was meant to do.”

  He pulled my face down for a kiss, and I let myself get lost in him. He was meant to be with me—I wholeheartedly believed this. If not, we wouldn’t burn so brightly. We wouldn’t be so intimately connected.

  My body moved faster with his, sliding up and down his length.

  Aston was pushing up into me, friction setting a fire between the two of us. Of course, he was hitting all the right places. It had been years since we’d innocently groped and learned our ways around each other’s bodies. As an adult, Aston seemed to know exactly what to do with me, which buttons to push.

  Within moments, I began to unravel, my entire body shaking with pleasure.

  “That’s right, Bex, let yourself go.”

  Aston didn’t need to encourage me. I wanted this. Needed this. Had to have this.

  When I fell apart, Aston drove furiously into me, finding his own release. I’d never loved anyone’s pleasure as much as his. Seeing him climax and then come down was a secret pleasure I didn’t know existed.

  Once again, we lay sated and sweaty in each other’s arms. This time, we lay there quietly, enjoying the moment.

  Until Aston’s phone rang.

  “Get it,” I told him. It was after one in the morning—only emergencies happened then.

  My heart raced as fast as my runaway thoughts. What if it was his lawyer? Something happened with the witness? He was being taken from me again . . .

  “Calm down, Mara. Tell me slowly,” Aston said into the phone.

  My pulse began to calm, and then I mentally slapped myself. How selfish was I? My heart only calmed when I realized nothing was going to happen to Aston. If he’d dismissed my children, or just Tyler, in that way, I’d be furious.

  Moving closer to Aston, I wrapped my arm around his b
ack as he listened, nodding and murmuring uh-huh into the phone.

  “What did Denise say?” he finally said. After more nodding and murmuring, he said, “Let me speak with her . . . Hey, Denise . . . No, no, she can call anytime . . . I know you have things under control.”

  He spoke calmly, but I could feel his body tensing.

  “I think that’s fine. Yes, you definitely should, if that’s what they want. I’ll call Aidan in the morning and let him know about this.”

  He listened a while longer, nodding to himself, taking my free hand in his and squeezing. If he only knew how insensitive I’d been, dismissing his kids and worrying about myself. Shaking myself free of those thoughts, I pulled Aston a little closer to me.

  “Yep, that’s good. I’ll be on my way in a few . . . No, don’t worry. You didn’t ruin anything.”

  I tightened my grip on his shoulder. He was leaving, but for his kids. Not running.

  “Oh,” he said. “I could, but maybe I shouldn’t. I’ll check and text you, okay? In the meantime, you get on your way.”

  He listened for a beat longer and then disconnected the call.

  When he turned to me, he looked pained, his brow furrowed and emotions rippling over his face. I’d never seen this side of Aston before, the emotionally wounded one. The last time his kids called, he’d grown angry and frustrated, but this was something entirely different.

  With his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, he blew out a long breath. “This isn’t going to work,” he mumbled.

  I jumped away from him so quickly, I became light-headed. Bracing myself on the night table, I looked directly at Aston, resolving to be strong.

  “Not us,” he said, looking ashamed. “That came out wrong. Not us. We’re going to work. I meant this thing with Cass. Trying to have her in the kids’ lives isn’t working.”