Beautiful Illusion

by Jacquie Underdown

  I stopped and started to stalk toward him, wiping the tears from my cheeks and under my eyes. Trust tonight to be the night I chose to wear mascara.

  “What happened back there?” he asked breathlessly when we reached each other.

  “I’m sorry. I had to go.”

  “Don’t apologise. Please, tell me what made you so upset.”

  I looked at his anxious blue eyes and stupidly started to cry again. He pulled me in close against his broad chest. Cuddling me. “Leah, what are you crying for? Please tell me.”

  I edged away and wiped my eyes. “Joanne said some hurtful things to me while you and Alex were buying food,” I said, crossing my arms.

  “Joanne? Alex’s Joanne? Said hurtful things to you? Like what?”

  “That I’m a ditzy blonde, and you’re only interested in me for a quick fling. She said I’m not your type.”

  “What the fuck? She said that to you?”

  I nodded.

  “What, what would she—not my fucking type?” he said, neck tense. “I didn’t even know I had a type. I’ve only ever had two girlfriends.”

  “She said you like ambitious, high maintenance, successful type women, and the fact that I’m a PA wouldn’t be good enough for you.”

  He shook his head, his mouth gaping. “My last girlfriend was a part-time bank teller. The girlfriend before that was a secretary in a small publishing firm. Hardly ambitious, successful types.”

  “Well, that’s what she said. Why would she do that, Brennan? Why would she lie? Or is there some ounce of truth to her words?”

  Brennan stepped back, his jaw clenching. “You know me enough, surely, to know there is no truth to any of what she said.”

  I sighed with relief. “Then why would she be so nasty to me? I barely know her.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know. She’s always been lacking in confidence. Very self-conscious. Perhaps she was intimidated by you.”

  I glared at him. “How the hell can you be intimidated by someone within thirty seconds of meeting them?”

  He smiled. “You really can’t see how stunningly beautiful you are, can you?”

  I lowered my eyes, silent.

  Brennan grabbed my hips and pulled me in close, my body touching his. He framed my cheeks with his hands and looked into my eyes. “And just so you know, I don’t do the fling thing. Never have, never will. And even if I did, I would be stupid to only want you in my life for a short time.”

  My heart skipped hearing the honesty of his words.

  “I’m attracted on every level to you, Leah.”

  “I feel the same way.”

  He kissed me then, and I delighted in the sensation of his lips as they moved so delicately against mine, tasting his tongue, his warmth, his fervour. I was lost; what had happened with Joanne no longer existed.

  After a long moment he said, hushed, “Did you want to go back in?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t think I can face Joanne again, but if you want to go back in and watch the game I can take a cab home.”

  “Hang on a tick,” he said. He pulled his mobile out of his front pocket and dialled a number.

  I eyed his phone. “What’re you doing?”

  “I’m going to give Alex a quick call.”

  My stomach churned. “I don’t want to cause any trouble.”

  He pressed the phone to his ear. “You’re not the one who’s causing trouble, Leah.”

  “Alex, mate… Yeah, I have her here… We’re out the front… That’s what I was ringing for,” he said, temper elevating. “Joanne decided to say a few nasty untruths about me. And about Leah for that matter…

  “You can ask her exactly what. But mate, it’s not okay. It’s bullshit; I told you how much I like her and then Joanne goes and does this. What is she trying to prove by it all?

  “Yes, we’re coming back in, but if Joanne so much as looks sideways at Leah… I don’t care mate, I don’t need this shit and neither does Leah.” He was silent for a long while as Alex talked down the phone. “Yeah. Yeah, okay, I’ll put her on.”

  I shook my head. “No, I can’t.”

  “Alex only wants to talk to you quickly.”

  I took the phone from Brennan and tentatively brought it to my ear. “Hello.”

  “I’m really sorry about all of this,” Alex said with perceptible sincerity.

  “I’m not sure you’re the one who should be apologising.”

  “There has obviously been a misunderstanding of some sort. Joanne has called our driver and is going to go home. It would have been better she stayed so we could sort out whatever the miscommunication was, but she’s adamant she doesn’t want to get in the way. She feels terrible, though. Either way, it’s not right that you miss the game, so please come back in and let’s try and have a good night.”

  Misunderstanding, my arse.

  “Um. Sure. I don’t really want to have to go home in a cab by myself.”

  “Brennan would never have let that happen. I’ll see you when you get in.”

  “Thanks, Alex.”

  I handed the phone to Brennan and he put it to his ear. “Thanks mate,” he said and then hung up.

  He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. “Will you be fine to go back in there? Because I’m more than happy to do something else if you’re not up to it.”

  “No. I’m okay.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure. Joanne is going home. Besides, I want to watch a field full of Adonises. And my beer is probably getting warm.”

  “That’s a girl,” he said with a laugh.

  We had only walked a few steps back towards the stadium when my curiosity got the better of me. “Alex said that Joanne had called their driver. What does that mean?”

  “It means they have a driver on call. Twenty-four hours a day.”

  “What is it that Alex does again?” I asked.

  “He built, owns, and runs the biggest sporting-goods chain in Australia.”

  “What? Like Lee Super Sports?”

  “Bingo.”

  ***

  The Lions lost by only a few points, which was disappointing for Brennan and Alex, but such a close score made for an exhilarating game. After the match, on the way out of the stadium, the men chatted about their favourite moments, the biggest marks, the biggest hits and best plays. The conversation swung then to the referees, the countless mistakes they made, and how biased they were. I zoned out at that point.

  Out the front, the night air was cooler than I anticipated. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to keep the cold at bay. Brennan extended his arm around my shoulder and pulled my body in tight next to his.

  “Thanks for your company tonight. It was a lot of fun,” said Alex as we reached the road where his black Jaguar was waiting for him.

  “No worries, mate,” said Brennan, shaking his brother’s hand.

  “It was good to see you again, Alex,” I said.

  “You too, Leah. See you next time.”

  With driver waiting, Alex stepped into his Jag and accelerated up the road.

  Brennan walked me to his car and we drove to my apartment. He parked out the front of my building and cut the engine.

  “I’ll walk you up,” he said.

  He held my hand as we climbed the two flights of concrete steps, meandered along the dim corridor to the door, and hesitated outside. Even after twelve years of dating experience, I still did not know what to do at the end of the date when I was walked to the door. I fumbled around in my purse for my keys. I had no idea what Brennan was expecting from me and I didn’t feel confident enough to lead the way.

  “Thanks for joining me tonight. I had a fantastic time,” he said.

  “Yeah, me too, except of course for the whole Joanne thing. That wasn’t at all pleasant.”

  He turned a grimace into a warm smile. “No.”

  A brief silence fell over us before Brennan said. “I have something to
give you.”

  A goodnight kiss?

  He plunged his hand into his pocket and pulled out something. He took my hand and thrust the contents of his hand into mine. With a twinge of disappointment, I recognised the hundred dollars I had given him earlier.

  “Tonight you’re my date,” he said. “I don’t expect any money from you.”

  “Thanks.” I pushed the money into my pocket and shoved the key in the lock. “Thank you again. For tonight,” I said.

  He grasped my hand and drew me to him, a generous smile touching his lips. If I had guessed wrong before about him going to kiss me, I was certain of his intentions now. I remained completely malleable as he grasped my hips, holding me firmly against him. Oh, god. He kissed me and I succumbed, flooding with sensual tension, my mind reeling with dizzy desire. Too soon, the moment was over. Brennan took a step back and ran his hands through his hair.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “You’re so difficult to be close to.”

  This puzzled me. “What? What do you mean?”

  “I have so little self-control when I’m with you, Leah. Your taste, the way you feel, smell. Once I start kissing you, touching you, I don’t want to stop.”

  I lowered my eyes to my feet. His forthrightness was alluring and I couldn’t always confront it head on. I looked back up into his lustful blue eyes. “I feel the same way, Brennan.”

  He groaned, pulling me against his body again. He ran his mouth along the curve of my neck, his warm breath almost enough to make my knees buckle beneath me.

  “I want to be the gentlemen, Leah, I do. But I want you so badly.”

  I couldn’t answer him. I was afraid if I opened my mouth I would tell him not to be a gentlemen. That I didn’t care if it was only our second date. That I wanted him to lose control. But I couldn’t.

  Brennan pressed me gently back against the door, his mouth trailing up the length of my neck and to my lips again. A tormented sigh passed his lips as he drew away and held my cheeks between his hands.

  Breathing heavily, he said, “I better be going and let you get a good night’s sleep.”

  Would it be so bad if I were to tell him to stay the night? Was the world going to end and crumble around me because I couldn’t resist any longer? Perhaps I should let him in. But then again, he obviously expected that I was the type of woman who wouldn’t sleep with him on the second date.

  “Sure,” I said, barely a whisper. “When will I see you again?”

  He kissed me, once, twice on the lips, the jaw line, my neck, then lingered at my ear, long enough for me to have to forcefully exhale.

  He stood back, resting his hands on his hips. “I, um, have a family reunion thing up at my parents’ property over the weekend. My dad wants me to help him with a few things on the farm so I’ll be going up tomorrow morning and won’t be back before Tuesday morning.”

  I shrugged, but inwardly I was succumbing to relentless waves of disappointment.

  “Whenever you’re free, give me a call and we’ll do something.”

  He breathed in deeply. “I don’t want to wait that long to see you again.”

  “Then don’t. Do you have to go?”

  He nodded. “They’ve been planning it for ages. I’ll never be forgiven if I miss it.”

  “Then go. Have fun. I’ll see you when you get back,” I said. “I’ll cook you dinner on Tuesday night if you like?”

  Again, another long breath in and out. “I don’t want to wait that long,” he said. “You don’t realise what you do to me.”

  Believe me, I’m starting to realise.

  He lifted the back of my hand to his lips and kissed it before placing my palm against his freshly shaven cheek. “How would you feel about meeting my parents?” he asked, his crooked smile nervous.

  I felt a fearful pang contemplating it. “Do you want me to go with you?”

  He nodded slowly, the grin still on his lips. “Yes, but only if you want to. We don’t have to say we’re dating. I’ll say you’re my friend or something, completely platonic. We can sleep in separate rooms. It’ll be like two friends having a weekend at a farm-stay.”

  Except with sexual tension so tangible you could run your tongue along it. He must have known exactly what I was thinking because he stepped back one pace. I couldn’t help laughing at him standing a good two feet away from me, my hand still in his, his hair dishevelled, trying to pretend that the intense infatuation between us could possibly be perceived as platonic.

  “Yes,” I eventually replied. “I’ll come with you to the farm.” If I was being honest, it would be harder being away from him for three days than it would be to meet his family and pretend that we were nothing more than friends.

  He smiled. “Excellent. I’ll pick you up at seven in the morning.”

  “That’s fine. But, um, when you say family reunion, do you mean lots of your family will be there?”

  He nodded, smiling.

  “And does that mean that Alex will be there?”

  His smile dissipated. “Yes. And so will Joanne.”

  “Oh.” That definitely changed things.

  “But they won’t be there til Sunday mid-morning, and we don’t even have to go near her,” he said. “Will you still come with me?”

  I thought about it. “Yes,” I said, after some time. The prospect of meeting his parents, pretending we were just friends and seeing Joanne again was still better than spending three days without Brennan.

  He leaned in and kissed me one last time. “I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow.”

  Brennan waited until I had retreated inside and shut the door behind me before he left. As I walked to my bedroom it felt as though each step was taken on the wispy surface of a cloud.

  Chapter 8

  Brennan and I made the two hour drive to his parent’s property in the Gold Coast Hinterland in a recent model four-wheel-drive ute. The landscape, as we climbed the hillside, was wonderful: vast countryside, lusciously green, which extended out like an unending canvas until it met the blue, cloud-dappled sky.

  As we pulled off the road and onto his parents’ dirt-track driveway, I gasped. At the end of the long track was a palatial home, architecturally designed, amicably fusing contrasting materials of timber, colourful corrugation, brick and render, and intertwined with angles, elevations, levels, and windows—many, many windows. I knew, as I saw the view extending from and beyond the house, why their home was predominately glass—it took every opportunity and advantage, no matter how minute, to allow its occupants glimpses and frames of the sloping grassy planes that transformed seamlessly some distance away into an immense gorge.

  “Oh my God. This is your parent’s property?” I asked breathlessly, completely in awe of the beauty surrounding me.

  Brennan smiled. “Yes. It’s not bad, hey?”

  “It’s far beyond anything I have ever seen before.”

  Brennan pulled in to park beside the house. His parents were waiting out the front to greet him and I was filled with stomach-clenching nerves. Even though they had been told that Brennan and I were only friends, I knew differently, and still wanted things to go well.

  Brennan stepped out of the car, came to my side and opened the door. He flashed me a comforting smile and whispered “Don’t worry, they’ll love you.”

  “I hope so,” I said, in equally hushed tones. Brennan took my hand and walked me to the imposing timber porch where his parents were waiting.

  He threw his arms around his mum and cuddled her, while I stood back watching them, watching his Dad, and watching the ground. Brennan exchanged cheerful greetings with his parents, then walked to my side and laid his arm affectionately around my waist, a proud grin on his face.

  “Mum, Pop, this is Leah,” he said.

  So much for just friends.

  “Lovely to meet you,” his mum said, a wide, knowing smile. His mum looked about the same age as my dad and I could immediately see where
Brennan got his dark hair and skin. However, his height and blue eyes were obvious gifts from his father. Brennan’s mother stepped towards me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, kissed me once on the cheek. “I also have a name besides Mum,” she said, narrowing her eyes at Brennan. “Kerri.”

  “Nice to meet you, Kerri.”

  “Hi, Leah,” said his dad, repeating the same hug and kiss.

  “He also has a name,” said Brennan, getting the formalities right this time, “Jack.”

  “Hi, Jack, nice to meet you,” I sputtered nervously.

  I threw a sideways glance at Brennan who had returned his arm around my waist.

  “Brennan, why don’t you grab Leah’s gear from the car and show her to her room?” said Kerri. “And then we’ll meet you out on the veranda for breakfast.”

  “No worries,” he called over his shoulder, jogging towards the ute.

  “It’s lovely for you to join us this weekend, Leah,” said Kerri.

  “Thank you for having me.”

  “It’s our pleasure.”

  Kerri and Jack retreated to the house to finish their preparations for breakfast while Brennan and I followed behind a few paces. The inside of the house was as incredible as the exterior. It was wide, open-planned, timber-floored, and unexpectedly for a country home, ultra-modern, with sleek furniture, rugs, wall hangings and splashes of bright colours on the angular walls. It was my type of house, alive and full of cheer.

  From the windows, which extended all the way from the floors to the cathedral ceilings, I could see for kilometres across the lush countryside. Brennan took my hand when we reached the bottom of a timber staircase that sat imposingly in the middle of a room five times the size of my entire apartment.

  “Up here,” he said, leading the way up the stairs.

  The second floor of the house was entirely different to the ground level. It was a large space with many bedrooms and bathrooms, a sitting room, a library, and an office. We veered left at the top of the stairs and down a long hallway to the end, which I assumed would be my bedroom during the stay.