Promise to Obey

by Whitelaw, Stella

  ‘We’ll make all our plans, when we have come down to earth.’

  ‘I’ll never come down to earth with you. I’ll always be in some kind of heaven.’

  ‘Dearest love, sleep now. I’ll see you at breakfast. I may shock Mrs Harris when I sweep you into an ardent embrace.’ He grinned.

  ‘I think she would enjoy it. Your mother is more of a worry.’

  ‘Leave Lady Grace to me.’

  They drew apart, laughing quietly. Jessica went into her bedroom and twirled around the room, the chiffon floating round her like a pink cloud. They were going to be married. He loved her. Her dream was coming true.

  Daniel’s birthday tea was a picnic in the garden. September had decided on one more spectacularly sunny day. It was warm enough to spread a rug on the lawn and Mrs Harris had gone to town with birthday tea treats and the garden table was laden with goodies. Lady Grace had a garden chair, padded with cushions. Lucas had raced back from the hospital to be there for his son’s birthday.

  It was difficult to know if Daniel understood that it was his birthday. Birthday, years and age may not have any concept for him. A party was out of the question because he did not have any friends and would hate all the noise and confusion. But he seemed to like having tea in the garden.

  Jessica had spent half the morning blowing up balloons and hanging them from the trees. They hung from low branches, swaying and bobbing in the gentle breeze. Daniel loved them because they made no noise. He started to help, putting them in lines, from low shrubs and bushes. The garden began to look full of globes of colour. Although Daniel’s face did not change much, his body looked relaxed and carefree. His shirt had come un-tucked and he did not seem to notice.

  Lily raced around creating total confusion. That was her contribution.

  ‘When is it my birthday?’ she shouted. ‘Can I have balloons in the garden and a picnic tea?’

  Jessica didn’t know. How awful. She didn’t know Lily’s birthday. Mrs Harris whispered, ‘February 21st.’

  ‘It might be snowing,’ said Jessica.

  ‘Snowballs and snowmen?’

  ‘Perhaps. A snow tea, everything white.’

  Lady Grace came downstairs, wearing the silvery pashmina which Jessica had safely returned. It was her ownership statement. Jessica made her comfortable in a garden and brought her a glass of dry sherry.

  ‘You might like something a little stronger than apple juice,’ said Jessica.

  ‘Glad to see you have more clothes on this afternoon,’ said Lady Grace.

  Jessica was in indigo jeans and her flame red shirt. She called it her Brighton outfit. And she had tied her hair back with a matching scarf.

  ‘Last night was special,’ she said, but added nothing more. They had not told anyone yet. ‘What do you think about another swim soon? Would you like me to ring your friend, Arthur, and find a free afternoon?’

  Lady Grace seemed to think about it, gathering her strength, finding it difficult to be unpleasant. ‘Yes, I would like that.’

  ‘No barbed wire in their pool,’ said Jessica, without thinking.

  Lady Grace went white, her hand trembling. Jessica took the sherry glass from her, cursing her own thoughtlessness. ‘How did you … know?’ she whispered.

  ‘I’m sorry. Please don’t distress yourself,’ said Jessica, going down on her knees and stroking the old, veined hands. ‘Lucas told me. He was there when you came back from Brighton on that awful day. He saw all the cuts and tears on your legs. We know that the beach at Brighton was heavily defended during the war, concrete blocks, landmines and barbed wire. There could so easily have been some barbed wire embedded in the sand, unseen, waiting for someone to tread on it, to become entangled.’

  Lady Grace was gripping her hand tightly. ‘It was barbed wire, Jess.’ She choked on the words. ‘My feet were caught up. I went down in the water to free myself but I couldn’t do it. I ran out of air. I was struggling to come to the surface to breathe. The tide was coming in fast and the longer it took, the deeper it got. I panicked. Sea was washing into my mouth, choking me. I thought I was drowning and I nearly was.’

  ‘You were so brave,’ Jessica assured her.

  ‘I took a great, deep breath and went down under the water again. I could hardly see for all the swirling water and sand. The barbed wire was twisted round my legs and my ankles. I had to drag them free or I would drown.’

  ‘But you did,’ said Jessica. ‘You managed it. You are here now.’

  ‘Someone helped me. I don’t know who it was. There was someone dark and slim, swimming, tearing the wire away with their bare hands. Suddenly I was free and I shot to the surface. I was in such a state of shock, I never stopped to thank them or find out who it was. All I could do was somehow stagger home. I don’t even know how I managed that.’

  ‘And you never went back?’

  ‘I couldn’t face them.’

  ‘So you don’t know who saved your life?’

  ‘My one regret is that I never thanked him. It’s been a heavy guilt to carry all these years.’

  ‘He must know,’ said Jessica. ‘He must know, in his heart, that he did a really brave thing and saved your life. He doesn’t need your thanks. Because he knows that you are still alive.’

  ‘Maybe he has gone, died, after all these years.’

  ‘He will still know,’ said Jessica. ‘Thoughts travel. Send him your thoughts. What do we know about how radio and television work? It’s all thoughts and words on invisible waves. Air that we can’t see.’

  The children were racing out into the garden with Lucas. Lily had dressed up for the occasion. She had added a net curtain train and tinsel in her hair. Floppy Ears was also wearing tinsel but not the train. Jessica gave Lady Grace back the sherry glass and stood to greet her family. For they were going to be her family now. Lucas, Lily and Daniel. Even Lady Grace.

  Lucas came straight over and kissed her lightly on her cheek. It was all she needed. No one seemed to notice the gentle embrace.

  ‘Hello, beautiful,’ he said.

  ‘Hello, Lucas,’ she said, no need for more words.

  The September afternoon swam into a sultry softness. Daniel loved his presents. He was in ecstasy with the pads of paper, the pencils, the books that he didn’t understand yet. Mrs Harris gave him a big cake made in the shape of an eight. Lady Grace gave him money. He wouldn’t know how to spend it.

  And Lucas had another present for Daniel. It was a rocking chair. Daniel loved it instantly, climbed into it, rocking himself, a sketch pad on his knee, drawing leaves, the trees, the clouds. He was lost in his own world.

  Lucas sat on the rug, eating everything in sight. He’d had no lunch. It had been a heavy morning. He shifted so that he was leaning against Jessica’s knees. She had one of the garden chairs. He looked up at her and took her hand.

  ‘I heard about yesterday morning,’ he said. ‘I want to thank you for saving my mother from falling and getting hurt.’

  ‘How did you find out? We weren’t going to tell you.’

  ‘I know, but Mrs Harris told me. She changed her mind. She said the man had to be stopped from returning at some future time. And I was the only person who could do that. She was right. I have made quite sure that he will never bother you again. You can safely forget him now.’

  ‘Thank you,’ said Jessica, so tenderly. The afternoon became saturated with warmth and light. ‘I’m glad you know. I never want to keep anything from you.’

  Lucas tapped his cup for attention. Everyone looked at him.

  ‘I think this is the right time to give you all some very special news,’ Lucas said, swallowing his mouthful of cucumber sandwich. ‘Last night Jessica did me the great honour of agreeing to become my wife. So we are going to be married. Jessica and me. Isn’t that marvellous? Hasn’t anyone noticed her ring? It’s big enough.’

  Jessica almost stopped breathing. Supposing everyone hated the idea? It was all so new. Lucas could change his mind.

/>   But Lily hurled herself at Jessica, a bundle of excitement and joy. ‘Are you going to be my new mummy?’ she shrieked. ‘Can I be a bridesmaid? And you will stay with us forever and forever?’

  ‘Forever and forever,’ said Jessica, taking the little girl in her arms. She was warm and cuddly and a little slimmer.

  Even Lady Grace looked pleased. She managed a nod of approval. ‘You can borrow my wedding veil,’ she said grudgingly. ‘It’s very old, Brussels lace, but mind you, I shall want it back.’

  ‘Of course, you’ll have it back. Thank you,’ said Jessica. ‘I shall be delighted and honoured to wear it.’

  Jessica turned to Daniel. He had tumbled out of the rocking chair and was standing near her, awkwardly, sketch pad dangling from his hand. He looked so like his father, it was devastating.

  ‘Would you like me to be your mummy?’ she asked softly.

  ‘Mummy,’ he said. Then he gave her one of his rare smiles.

  TWELVE

  Jessica had not been so happy for years. She could not remember the last time she had walked on a cloud. Her happiness was catching. Lily raced around the garden pretending to be a butterfly. Daniel drew a complicated picture of the close-up of a rose and gave it to her, without a word.

  ‘Thank you, Daniel,’ said Jessica. ‘What a lovely present. I shall pin it on my bedroom wall.’

  Even Lady Grace showed traces of a smile cracking her face.

  ‘It’s all right having you here, you know, permanently. I quite like the idea,’ she said. ‘But don’t think you will be running the household.’

  ‘As if I would,’ said Jessica, shuffling the cards for their afternoon game of cards. ‘I’ve more sense.’

  Mrs Harris was far more astute. ‘So you and Mr Lucas have been talking at last, have you?’ she asked. ‘Got things sorted out?’

  ‘Just talking,’ said Jessica, hiding a smile.

  ‘Come to your senses, have you?’

  ‘I don’t know what you mean, Mrs Harris.’

  ‘I wasn’t born yesterday,’ said Mrs Harris.

  Lucas had asked her to wait but only for a short while. There were still a few loose ends to tie up before they could be married. Something to do with his wife’s death. It had to be registered. Jessica did not understand. Surely after a road accident, her death would have already been registered?

  Work never stopped and Lucas had been called back to the hospital almost immediately after Daniel’s birthday. But he went with a lighter step, knowing that Jessica would be waiting for him when he got home, whatever the time.

  Jessica realized that she would not be the sole mistress of Upton Hall when she married Lucas. Lady Grace would still want to think that she ran the household. But it had been a long time since her hands were on the reins, and it would be Jessica and Mrs Harris making the decisions. Even if Lady Grace thought she was in charge.

  ‘We’ll agree to everything she says and then do it our way,’ said Mrs Harris.

  ‘Mrs Harris! That is positively revolutionary. You must have taken part in the Peasants Revolt.’

  ‘I’m not that old,’ said Mrs Harris with a grin.

  ‘When Lucas and I get married, we are going to have a honeymoon, but only a short one, somewhere warm and sunny. He doesn’t think the hospital can function without him. We would like you to stay here, please, at Upton Hall, overnight, and we will also arrange for a girl to come up from the village to help you during the day. Would that be all right?’

  ‘Perfect,’ said Mrs Harris. ‘I thought you would never ask.’

  ‘And when we come back, we want you to have a whole week off as a holiday. I don’t think you have ever had a holiday.’

  ‘A holiday?’ Mrs Harris looked taken aback. ‘No, I’ve never had any holiday time. But my Bingo friend, May and I would like to go away together. We fancy one of those Shearing’s coach tours.’

  ‘As soon as we get our dates, you can book your coach holiday,’ said Jessica. ‘You are owed a lot of holiday time.’

  Jessica made a note. She and Lucas would pay for Mrs Harris’s coach tour. The woman was a saint. But it was loving Lucas’s father that had turned her into a saint. And it hadn’t happened overnight.

  A few afternoons later, they were all in the garden, lolling about after tea, enjoying autumnal sunshine. Jessica was reading a new crime thriller, Lady Grace dozing in a cushioned chair, Lily was teaching Floppy Ears to do cartwheels. He was not getting on very well, a bit out of his usual orbit. Daniel was sketching as usual. No one was allowed to see what he was working on.

  Jessica heard a car coming along the drive. It was not a car she recognized. Not Lucas’s engine. Nor a delivery van. It drew up outside the front entrance, fired the engine again, and then it was switched off.

  Jessica wandered round to the front to see who was disturbing their peace. A woman was getting out of a bright red sports car. The red was an over-bright colour against the mellow yellow and browns of the autumnal trees. The woman was slim, wearing a dark emerald green trouser suit, her hair ebony, cut asymmetrical with one side wing longer than the other. Very Posh Spice. Only it wasn’t Victoria Beckham, it was Dr Amanda Burton.

  The woman turned on her heel, grinding the spike into the gravel. She smiled at Jessica, but it was not really a smile. There was no humour in it.

  ‘So this is where you are hiding out,’ said Amanda Burton.

  ‘I’m not hiding out. This is where I work,’ said Jessica.

  ‘Call it work, do you? That’s a new one.’

  Jessica refused to answer. She was remembering the last time they met when this woman deliberately spilt her wine down Jessica’s dress and then her beaded bag caught in the frills and ruined it.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ Jessica asked. ‘What do you want?’

  ‘I was going to ask you the same thing,’ said Amanda. ‘What are you doing here? Up to some mischief, obviously. But one thing for sure, you are not getting my husband.’

  ‘Your husband?’ Jessica almost choked on the word. ‘Fraser? I wouldn’t touch him with a bargepole, or anything longer or shorter. He’s the most repulsive creature I have ever had the misfortune to come across.’

  ‘Come now, that’s not what you used to think,’ Amanda mocked. ‘You used to think that the sun shone out of his arse.’

  ‘I never said that.’

  ‘It’s what you thought. You adored the man. You thought he was a very fine catch for a student nurse.’

  ‘I was very young and foolish. I knew nothing about men, especially ones like your husband.’

  ‘Yet you spent the last two nights with him at the Double Cross Inn, outside Brighton. And I’ve got the receipts in my hand, and a photocopy of the registry book with your signature. You can’t deny it. It’s here in black and white.’

  Jessica was speechless. It was all a total prefabrication. She had been here at Upton Hall, sleeping in the yellow bedroom. She would never go anywhere with the despicable Fraser. Yet, Amanda was waving bits of paper at her, and was now striding towards her.

  ‘Don’t think you are going to get away with this, trying to steal my husband. I’ll make sure you are never employed anywhere, ever again. And certainly not at Upton Hall, looking after Lucas Coleman’s children. You can’t be trusted. You’ve no morals. Does he know where you were these last two nights?’

  Lucas had not come home. There had been some awful flat fire and he had to deal with burned children, rebuild their skin, their faces. He had not been home for two nights. But they had spoken briefly, on the phone, reaffirmed their love for each other, knowing they would be together soon.

  ‘You don’t scare me,’ said Jessica. ‘I suggest you leave and go back to whatever miserable life you have with Fraser. I don’t want anything to do with him or with you.’

  ‘I’ve already faxed copies of these documents to Lucas Coleman. I’m sure he’ll be interested to know what you do with your spare time when he is not here.’

  ‘The way o
ut is that way,’ said Jessica, pointing down the drive. ‘And don’t come back here again, ever.’

  ‘Don’t think you are getting rid of me that easily. I know you are after my husband, but you are not going to get him. I’ll fight you every inch of the way and I have a lot of weapons in my arsenal. I’ll get you struck off the Nursing Register, so that you will never work again.’

  Jessica felt an overwhelming tiredness. Amanda Burton was a vindictive woman and Jessica could not understand why she was acting this way. It was as if the nightmare had returned. Now it was Amanda who wanted to humiliate her for no reason at all.

  ‘Willdo? Willdo? Where are you?’

  She heard Lily’s voice calling her. Jessica turned away and went through the rose garden. She heard the car engine start up and drive away with a burst of acceleration. It sounded as angry as its driver.

  ‘Floppy Ears can’t do cartwheels. His ears get in the way,’ said Lily. ‘Shall I get some ribbon and tie them up?’

  ‘I don’t think that would be very comfortable for him,’ said Jessica. ‘Would you like to have your ears tied up?’

  ‘No, I wouldn’t,’ said Lily firmly.

  ‘Why not try hand-stands? Floppy Ears could probably manage a few hand-stands if you help him.’

  ‘Hand-stands! We’ll do hand-stands all over the garden.’ Lily raced away.

  ‘It makes me quite tired just watching that child,’ said Lady Grace, who had woken up. ‘What do you feed her on?’

  ‘Not sugar and spice, for sure. She’s beginning to lose weight which is a good sign. But I think poor Floppy Ears is due for a relapse. I shall have to go to Brighton pier and win another one.’

  Lady Grace’s face changed with what occasionally passed for a smile. ‘You might not be so lucky a second time.’

  ‘I might come back with a camel. I suppose he’d be called Humpy.’

  Daniel had been listening but said nothing. Jessica had lost her place in her book and she had lost interest in the plot. The unexpected visitor had upset her more than she cared to admit. She wanted to see Lucas. She wanted to find out if Amanda had been bluffing.