Callisto

by Torsten Krol

  “Yeah?”

  “Oh yeah. The way he broke you down and still got nothing, that makes him look real bad, professionally speaking.”

  “He didn’t break me down.”

  “You were tearful there in the end. I talked about it with Dan Oberst later and he says he never attended a worse conducted interview and polygraph. Dan’s very much a professional guy and he hates it when people butt in like the Chief did, that was inexcusable and he wrapped it up right then. He told me he never saw the like of your emotional reaction and you aren’t a good type for polygraphing in the first place, he didn’t say why exactly, but you can take Dan Oberst’s opinion to the bank.”

  “Well, I was just pretending.”

  “Uhuh, listen, you get many reporter types out here?”

  “Not now, but earlier. It’s all about Dean now, not me.”

  “Right. Dean, he’s hot news. News about Dean, that’d be worth plenty to the networks. They’d come up with the big bucks for news about Dean. New news, not the old stuff. How’re those lawnmowing bucks, Odell?”

  “They’re okay.”

  “Just okay? That’s too bad.”

  I saw now what he wants. He wants to dig something out of me about Dean and sell it to the TV news, only there’s nothing to dig out that I didn’t already say, plus a little more that didn’t really happen, so I’m already overextended with news about Dean so he’s out of luck. And why would I want to share any TV news money with Larry Dayton anyway? What’s it got to do with him?

  “It’s just I thought you might want a copy of the so-called interview and polygraph, you know, to keep for yourself, for your records or whatever. Maybe for your lawyer.”

  “I don’t have a lawyer, I didn’t do anything.”

  “I know that, only I’m thinking ahead to future times when a lawyer might do you a world of good.”

  “How?”

  “By asserting in court that you’ve been subjected to official harassment not to mention incompetence at the hands of Chief Webb, who deserves to get his ass kicked for conducting matters that way. Satisfy my curiosity, you weren’t expecting a polygraph when you walked in there, were you?”

  “I sure wasn’t. That was a big surprise.”

  “I could tell just by looking, Dan Oberst too, I bet. He’d be the kind of guy to get on your team to make the charge stick, as backup for the taped evidence, I mean. Oberst, he’d come across very cool and clean, totally professional, the kind of guy you want in your tent, not the other guy’s. You’d have a real tight case for prosecution right there.”

  “Prosecution? I didn’t do anything…”

  “No, what I’m saying, you’d be the one doing the prosecuting, I mean, your lawyer would. Against Chief Webb.”

  “Chief Webb?”

  “Right, because he abused your legal rights setting you up like he did, which is an offense big time, and then he went and screwed up the whole process anyway by not keeping his mouth shut. He really thought you knew where Dean is, that’s what made him blow it.” He took a swallow of beer. “But it wouldn’t even get to court.”

  “It wouldn’t?”

  “No way. The Police Department would have to spring for a lawyer to defend Webb because the offense took place on police property while police business was being conducted. The Department wouldn’t want to risk any of that bad shit getting out to the media, not after they see the tape they won’t. They’ll settle big just to keep your mouth shut and the tape away from those newshounds. You might get a hundred grand, maybe two, three times that, depending on how good of a lawyer you get. Get a shark is my advice. Only there’s no case without the tape. Your lawyer could litigate to get that tape from the Department and we’d have to provide it by law, only there’s a good chance that tape’ll disappear in the next twenty-four hours. Webb, he can go everywhere in the building, including Records. Two minutes in there and that tape’s gone, Odell. That tape is history, burned or dumped off a bridge, buried way out somewhere nobody’ll ever find it. No tape, no case. No case, no settlement. No settlement, you keep right on mowing lawns.”

  “Maybe he already did it,” I said, thinking out loud.

  “Maybe he did, which is why it’s a good thing I moved fast and made a copy.”

  “You made a copy?”

  “Yes I did. Would you be interested in owning that?”

  “I guess.”

  “I thought you might. That’d be a sure thing, that settlement. You might get a half mil, maybe more, and all because I had the foresight to do what I did, which will wreck my career with the PD when it comes out I made that copy. They’ll know it was me, probably subpoena me to say so outright, and there goes my job down the toilet, all because I wanted to help out a fellow human being.”

  “Thank you.”

  “So bearing that in mind, the wrecking of my career, I’d have to have compensation for that risk.”

  “Money?”

  “Or gold bullion if you got it,” he said, then laughed real loud.

  “How much?”

  “Well, now, wait a minute. I’m gonna presume you don’t have a whole lot of cash lying around the place or you wouldn’t be doing lawnmowing for a living, am I right?”

  “I’ve got another job lined up.”

  “That’s fine, but it isn’t running the Bank of America, is it.”

  “No, it’s out at the prison.”

  “The prison? You’re kidding me. What, in the kitchen? I think the trusties do that, don’t they?”

  “Prison guard.”

  He laughed again like that’s so funny, then he stopped but he’s still got a big grin on his face. “Look, Odell, you don’t want a job out at that place. It’s the lowest kind of work you can get. Forget that, they wouldn’t hire you anyway.”

  “Why not?”

  Larry sighed like he’s running out of patience, and not smiling anymore. “You’re not the right type. They need tough nuts to run a dump like that. You aren’t tough, Odell.”

  “I’m big.”

  “Right, but that doesn’t mean tough. What I’m offering is more than you could make in a lifetime as a guard, provided you get the right lawyer. The tape will provide a bright new future for you, guaranteed.”

  “I don’t have any money, not a whole lot.”

  “And knowing that, I’ve come up with another arrangement – a percentage of the take, which is what your lawyer will be taking his cut from too, so there’s his motive to go in hard and win big, the high six figures at least. Interested?”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “You guess. Okay, this would involve drawing up a legal contract for the sale of the tape to you or your representative for a certain percentage of whatever your legal counsel can get for you from the PD. Which will be plenty, believe me, more than enough to make everyone happy.”

  “It wouldn’t matter to you if you lost your job and they didn’t like you anymore, the other cops?”

  He set his can down, serious again. “Are you kidding? It’s only a job that I got to put me through school. This way I can trim years off my courses by doing them full-time, and the tuition’s all taken care of .”

  “What kind of school?”

  “The best, dude – Law School.”

  “Uhuh.”

  He got up. “So do we have an agreement?”

  “I guess.”

  “Get yourself some legal counsel and get back to me, I’m in the book.”

  The phone started ringing, the kitchen phone.

  “No need to see me out,” says Larry, heading for the door. I went to the kitchen.

  “Hello?”

  “Odell, it’s Lorraine. They were just here and now they’re headed out to you.” She was all excited and breathless.

  “Who is?”

  “The F-B-I, Odell. They just got done grilling me about Dean and now they’re gonna do the same to you, so get yourself ready.”

  “Oh, okay, I was expecting them.”

  “
Expecting them?”

  “I got told they might be doing interviews today. That should’ve happened sooner. The Bureau has been slow on this, way slow. Heads will roll for that.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “A little bird told me.”

  “Odell, have you been drinking?”

  “Yeah, just a beer.”

  “Well, quit right now, you’ve got to be sober when they come and start asking questions. You know what not to talk about, don’t you?”

  “Uh …”

  “About him being gay, we went over this.”

  “Yeah … but now somebody has got a movie of Dean in that Okeydokey place.”

  “Which does not mean he’s gay, doesn’t prove it. It doesn’t prove anything except where he was on Saturday night, which you’ve got to say you were confused about that, Odell, Sunday not Saturday, that’s when you met him, okay, or they’ll get suspicious of you like Andy Webb. And you know what other thing to say nothing about, right?”

  “Uh …”

  “The package, Odell, the freaking package that never got delivered and there’ll be no further packages on a Tuesday because those packages Do Not Exist. Got it?”

  “Okay.”

  “Go rinse your mouth out and put that beer away. Do it now.”

  “Are you coming over later?”

  “I’ll give you a call. No, you call me after they’ve gone and we can compare notes.”

  “I have to take notes? They’re gonna think that’s weird.”

  “Mental notes, Odell. Call me when it’s over, and don’t mess this up or they’ll keep coming back and poking their noses in.”

  She hung up. I went and brushed my teeth and combed my hair which was a waste of time because it’s so short it doesn’t need combing, but now I felt like I’m ready for the FBI. I went to the front door to wait for them. Larry Dayton had already driven away so the yard was empty. I waited a long time before they arrived in a big blue Ford.

  There was two of them in neat suits, one with glasses. They come up the steps and said they’re Agent Kraus and Agent Deedle, he’s the one had the glasses. I brung them in and sat them down and they started in to interview me, which I will not go into detail here because I told them everything the same way I already told the police which is boring to say it all again. Only I made sure I said this time it must have been Sunday the Monte Carlo broke down, not Saturday. They asked all the same questions the cops did and I took them to the back yard so they can see the dirt mound, which I made sure they know all about how the cops have had it dug out twice now to show there’s nothing there, and Agent Kraus said they know that, it’s in the report. They stayed an hour maybe and then they thanked me for my cooperation and drove away, which was a big relief that it’s all over now at last, so I called Lorraine’s number on the new cell.

  “How did it go?” she wants to know.

  “It went fine. They just now left.”

  “And you didn’t talk about things you shouldn’t talk about?”

  “Nope.”

  “That’s good. My god, this has been an exhausting day, and it’s the weekend. I’m supposed to relax on the weekend, not get into arguments with the Chief of Police and give interviews to the FBI and go to funeral homes to make arrangements for my aunt that got murdered. This is so stressful I’m falling apart here.”

  “Want me to come over?” I’m thinking maybe she could use a back rub that’ll lead to other things.

  “No, I need to take a long hot bath and try to relax about all this.”

  “I could maybe scrub your back.”

  “I’ve got a loofah for that, genuine sponge. You take a long bath too, Odell, you’ve had it hard today like I have. You know, this kind of pressure is gonna keep up until they catch Dean, I know it is. I bet 60 Minutes calls me for an interview about what it’s like growing up with a terrorist for a brother. Only I don’t think they pay for interviews.”

  “Some of those other TV people do. I got offered fifty bucks.”

  “The other shows don’t have the prestige, Odell. It isn’t just about money, it’s about setting the record straight about Dean.”

  “Except about the gay part.”

  “Right. Andy Webb better not splash that Okeydokey thing around. I guess he won’t, I mean, it’s official police property, he can’t just sell it to the highest bidder. It’s got nothing to do with Dean being a terrorist anyway, and it doesn’t prove a thing about his sexuality in any case. The Muslims, they’re very down on gays. Shit, they don’t even like drinkers, which Dean is a big fan of along with dope and you name it, so he’d make a lousy Muslim. But that’s nobody’s damn business. The terrorism thing alone is gonna get him locked away forever when they catch him. Are you listening to me, Odell?”

  “Uhuh. Do you know any lawyers?”

  “A couple, but they’re no good. Dean’s gonna need someone high-powered to try and get him off, that is, if he gets caught before he kills Ketchum. If he gets caught afterwards it won’t make any difference who his lawyer is, he’ll get the needle.”

  “No, I mean for me.”

  “What do you want a lawyer for, in case Chief Webb drags you down to the station again?”

  “Kind of.”

  “Wait and see if he does that. Maybe all the interviewing is over and done with now that the FBI talked to us.”

  “It’s just … I don’t know, maybe I’m not right for being a prison guard.”

  “Sure you are, I told you, and the word is in with Cole so all you need to do is show up for the interview Friday and prove to him you can tie your own shoelaces and the job’s yours. Don’t let me down on this, Odell.”

  “Only I’m thinking I might not be …you know, tough enough.”

  “What are you talking about, a guy as big as you? Don’t start doubting yourself. Self-doubting is a negative force that eats away at you from the inside, I read a book about that and it made a lot of sense, so you quit that right now.”

  She hung up. I forgot again to tell her I’m using my new phone. Next time. One thing I kept thinking about is how she thinks official police property like the Okeydokey DVD can’t get sold. My interview tape is official police property and it’s already on the market. But Lorraine has got enough to worry about without that on top of all the rest.

  That French food was not enough to satisfy the inner man, so I went down to the freezer for something real to eat for a late afternoon snack or maybe early dinner, and made a selection of Tater Tots and corn on the cob plus Sara Lee cheesecake, only I’ll have to let the cheesecake thaw in its own sweet time before eating, so that will be a late dessert to be having. Then I settled down to do some thinking about what Larry Dayton has told me, his offer about the tape. I turned it over and over for a long time while the Tater Tots and corn were cooking, and by the time they’re ready to eat I still couldn’t make up my mind about that, so I decided to sleep on it as the saying goes and maybe make a decision tomorrow. It was good American food I dished up for myself and it went down easy, after which I napped awhile in front of the TV with the sound off, very comfortable there on the sofa. I had been sleeping in Dean’s room after spending that one night in Bree’s. I had expected nightmares in both rooms, but that didn’t happen, so I have not got a guilty conscience or anything like that, this is the proof.

  But now on the sofa I did have a nightmare that happened this way – I’m in my car which is running smooth and strong for once and Dean is next to me toking on a joint and watching the world speed by, only I can’t really see the landscape so it could be anywhere. Dean looked exactly like I remembered him except he’s wearing this bright orange jumpsuit like prisoners wear, only he’s not in prison he’s in my car.

  He turns to me and says, “I only did it to piss her off, you know, for a joke.”

  “Piss who off?”

  “Bree, who else. She’s been beating me up over not going to church since forever, and I got so sick and tired about the way
she’s shoving Jesus down my throat I got hold of some Muslim books and said to her I’m gonna go to the mosque, not to church. And I would’ve done if we had one around here but we don’t. Man, did she have a shitfit about that, got real upset and says my soul’s in danger. Well, I was only kidding, but I started reading those books and it seemed to me like there’s truth in there, you know, wisdom. I needed some of that, everyone does. So I’m thinking okay, I’ll quit drinking which I know is a bad thing, and quit with the pigmeat and see how I go with that, baby steps, see what I mean? Starting to be a Muslim but only a little bit, like I’m still not sure but I’ll go along with it awhile and see what happens, you know?”

  “And what happened?”

  “You killed me, man, so now I’ll never know if I had it in me to be a good Muslim. That might’ve been all I needed to turn my life around, only you went and fucked it up for me, Odell, you son of a bitch prick-eating fuck!”

  He reached across and grabbed the steering wheel and we went over a cliff that I didn’t even know was there, and on the way down he starts singing at the top of his crazy voice, “I’m a little teapot short and stout, Here is my handle, Here is my spout …” That cliff was a long, long drop. When we hit the ground it woke me up so sudden I flew up from the sofa like it’s a bed of red-hot nails. I fell on the floor with my throat all closed off and struggling to breathe, then it opened up and I pulled in air like a pump, with sweat rolling off me like I just got out of a pool or something and my heart racing budumbudumbudum.

  I stunk like a dead fish I sweated so bad. After a shower I felt better, but not much. By then the cheesecake was thawed and I ate half to calm myself down and put the rest in the fridge for tomorrow. After that I was okay, it was only a dream after all and nothing to get weird about.

  It was sundown by then. I went out to the back yard and stared at the mound, telling Dean to back off, it wasn’t my fault and he never should’ve woke me up with a whisper in my ear about some bullshit intruder he thought he heard, especially not with a shotgun in his hand even if it had no shells. It was Dean’s fault what happened, not mine, him and his fucked-up personality! I felt like I didn’t have a friend in the world.