Callisto

by Torsten Krol

  But I did have a friend. Agent Jim Ricker was my friend, he told me so himself. His little bird kept an eye on all his friends which I am one of, he said. So I took out my little phone and keyed the index and up popped Jim’s number. I pressed the call bar. You don’t even have to dial the number, the phone does that all by itself, which is digital technology which I am now a big fan of.

  “Hello, Odell.”

  He said that without me saying who I am because the caller ID number is flashing on his screen. Digital technology!

  “Hey, Jim.”

  “What’s on your mind?”

  “Oh, nothing much. The FBI come and talked to me about everything.”

  “Uhuh, and how did that go?”

  “Oh, fine, I guess. They were nicer than Chief Webb.”

  “Professional courtesy, Odell, it goes a long way.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Anything else?”

  “Well … I’m in the back yard and the sun’s going down. Wait … I’ll show you.”

  I sent him a little movie, sweeping the phone around so he can see the mound in the yard and the sunset happening behind it.

  “Is that the so-called empty grave I’m seeing there, Odell?”

  “Uhuh, with nothing in there but dirt, they checked it twice, the police.”

  “Good to know they’re being thorough.”

  “Yeah, but I had to do the digging-out the second time.”

  He laughed. “Is that why you’re sore at Chief Webb?”

  “No … well, maybe. Hey, Jim, can you see me?”

  “Why do you ask that, Odell?”

  “I’m just wondering. If those satellites are always going around and around the earth there must be times when yours is on the other side of the world, so then you can’t see me.”

  He chuckled very friendly then says, “Any system worthy of the name has got more than one arrow in its quiver, Odell. There are hundreds of satellites up there, so just as one is passing below the horizon another one is coming up over the opposite horizon, and chances are there’s one in between that’s pretty much over your head as we speak.”

  “So you can see me?”

  “The answer to your question is classified, Odell. You wouldn’t want me to break the rules now, would you?”

  “I guess not.” I had a great idea then and raised my left arm. “Just tell me which arm is lifted up right now.”

  He laughed again. “The left,” he said, and my mouth dropped open. He really can see me! “Wow!”

  He laughed again. “You’re right-handed aren’t you, Odell.”

  “Uhuh.”

  “Then that’s the hand your phone is in, which means you raised your left arm, right?”

  “Uh … yeah. So you can’t see me?”

  “I told you, that’s classified. You have a pleasant Saturday night, Odell.”

  He rung off. It was a disappointment about him not being able to see me after all. It made me feel good for a moment there knowing he’s watching over me like a big brother. But maybe he could see me and just can’t say so outright because that’s classified.

  I went inside and poured myself a shot of the Captain and drunk it down, then poured another. There is nothing like the Captain to settle me calm and peaceful. I surfed the channels and found one of those Nature shows about wolves in Canada or somewhere. All the wolves have gone from America except some they brung back into the national parks to cull the buffalo which we have not got very many of these left either, so why bring the wolves back to kill some more? Anyway these were not wolves from around here, about six of them living in a pack, but then tragedy strikes when one of the wolves goes blind with cataracts in his eyes.

  This poor wolf, he blundered around not seeing anything and acting weird because he’s blind, and the other wolves they couldn’t understand why he’s acting that way because they’re only animals so they don’t know about blindness, they only know this wolf is acting weird. And here’s the sad part, it pisses them off to have him hanging around and acting weird like he is. They have got no sympathy for this poor wolf and just snap at him when he comes blundering along to be close to them. They don’t want him around so they bite him to make him go away, and the poor fucking wolf he gets lonelier and lonelier and hardly ever gets anything to eat because he can’t hunt and only feeds on leftovers now and then that he finds with his nose. So after awhile he died and the other wolves wouldn’t go near him even then to give him a farewell sniff or something. It was just the saddest thing to see. Going blind was not the wolf ’s fault but he got punished anyway, not just by being blind, the worst thing was how the other wolves turned on him and run him off just because he’s different to them, that was the saddest part about this, and it made me start crying like a baby, it’s so sad. Ordinarily I don’t do that, cry, I mean, but I felt so sorry for that poor creature that didn’t do anything wrong but got punished anyway and then died never knowing why any of it happened. I was glad when it ended and I could watch something else.

  No matter how much I flicked from one channel to the next there’s all these political commercials even if the election is still a year and more away. They always do this, start telling you which way to vote a long ways before you need to be choosing. You just can’t get away from it even by hitting the mute button. Those flags just keep right on waving and those people keep right on smiling and looking proud to be American, especially the cute little girl waving this tiny Stars’n’Stripes, about four years old with a big grin and underneath it says Do It For Her.

  Senator Ketchum is in most of the Republican ads looking stern and wise and proud, saying things like, “America was built on hard work and the promise of Justice for All. That same promise works in other nations too if they’re given the chance. That’s why we’re there. Americans will never cut and run when called upon to help. That’s what makes us Americans.” The other team is saying stuff like, “When it’s broke – fix it. Let’s not go any further down the Wrong Road.” And they’ve got their own cute little kid waving a flag and saying, “Bring my Daddy home, we miss him so bad.”

  Whichever ad was on, that’s the one I liked, the party I intended voting for. But then the other team comes on saying the opposite thing and it seems like they’re the ones talking sense and I should go vote for them instead. Only then the first bunch come on strong about Holding the Line and Not Backing Down and I think they’re the ones have got the right message now, so I seesawed back and forth between them till I wished I could go hibernate like a bear and not hear another word about voting and let someone smarter than me decide which one should be in the White House.

  Now, my personal opinion, it should be Condoleezza Rice running for President and not Senator Ketchum. I would give my vote to her whichever party she was with regardless, I like her so much. And what most people don’t know, Condi is a very good piano player, not just political but artistic, and how many of that kind do you get in Washington? Not too damn many that’s for sure. If it was Condi got elected President the first thing she’d do, she’d tell the park rangers to bring in any blind wolf they saw out there in the wilderness and give him a cataract operation so he will not die lonely and not understanding why. Condi would do that because being a woman she is sensitive to the needs of others, which I am not so sure about Senator Ketchum.

  ELEVEN

  Sunday back in Yoder, Wyoming, was the dismalest day of the week bar none, I am not kidding. Sunday in Yoder is good for preparing you to be anything at all in any other place in the world, because you don’t want to be someone in Yoder on a Sunday anymore. This is true for everyone that lived there even if they tell you different. Feenie Myers one time told me nine out of ten Yoderites say outright they can’t stand the place and the tenth one is just a liar.

  But Sunday in Callisto was okay by me. I woke up on the sofa where I fell asleep drunk out of my mind with the TV hissing at me. I worked my way through to the kitchen and drunk some water then followed with aspirin
for a breakfast appetizer then went back and lay on the sofa again.

  I napped awhile waiting for my head to quit thumping like that, then got up a second time and made myself waffles and hash browns brung up from the freezer which has still got plenty of food in there. It’s surprising how much is left after a body has been removed from a freezer, but she was not a big woman.

  Along about lunchtime I’m feeling better and thinking maybe I should call up Lorraine and see if there’s anything I can do for her, maybe take a sixpack over to her place for lunch or something. She has never invited me over to see if it’s a house or an apartment or whatever, and you don’t truly know a person good enough to be called a friend without you have been invited over to see what kind of place, so this is not a good sign and I’m beginning to wonder about that, if she cares for me at all or what.

  Then I heard a car coming up to the house, but I knew even before I got to the door it isn’t her because of the engine sound, too big so I’m not surprised to see it’s Chet come back to visit. I was happy to see him because it’s Chet and Preacher Bob had the goodness of their heart to buy me that cell I am so crazy about. He waved at me and come up on the porch where I invited him in but he said it’s so nice of a day why don’t we sit on the rocker, so we did. I didn’t wait, I brung the new phone out right there to show him and explain all the things it can do.

  “That’s a nice one, Odell. I’m pleased for you. Now you have to advertise the number so new customers can call you up and get their lawn mowed.”

  “I’ll take care of that Monday,” I said. “No, wait … I have to cut into my lawn schedule Monday to go to the funeral service for Aunt Bree. I don’t even know what time yet. So I’ll take care of it Tuesday.”

  “It’s a nice gesture,” he says, “you going along for the service. Miss Lowry must be appreciative of that. You and she have gotten to be fairly close because of all this.”

  “It’s a terrible way to be introduced to someone, but there you go. Lorraine’s needing someone to lean on about all this.”

  “And you’re providing a sturdy shoulder. That’s good, Odell. That’s a Christian thing to do. You’re a fine example of the faith.”

  He must have seen me looking uncomfortable about a compliment like that which I don’t deserve, because then he says, “You are a Christian aren’t you?”

  Well, it would not have been a good thing to lie to him, a man that gave me cash money to buy a phone that I really like, but at the same time I hated to disappoint a churchgoing type like Chet by telling him I don’t believe all that about God watching over us like they say. If God was watching over us, all those little kids in Africa with raggedy clothes would not be carrying around AK-47s and dying from AIDS, if you want my opinion. So I wriggled around trying to think what to say, and Chet being a smart man saw what kind of trouble I’m in and says, “Just speak your natural mind, Odell. The truth is what the truth is according to the mind that gives it voice.”

  So I gave it to him in a plain brown wrapper. “Not really.”

  Chet patted me on the arm like some old uncle setting my mind at ease. “No need to sound that way about it, Odell. Not everyone chooses to let the light shine upon them, and there are those who come to the light later than others. It’s never too late to open your eyes to the special radiance that comes from the presence of the Lord.”

  “Okay.”

  We both sat quiet for a little while, then he says, “Odell, would you say that, taking everything into consideration, you might one day become a Christian?”

  Chet was worried about my soul, which was very decent and caring of him but a waste of time frankly, because there’s no way I would ever change my mind about what I think in regard to this hard question about Believing or Not Believing. I wanted to tell him I would, just to make him feel better about things, but then he might want us to get down on our knees and pray together to make that happen sooner, which I did not want anything so embarrassing to happen so I told him, “Not really.”

  I felt ashamed to give him that answer, and Chet, he just nodded slow and careful, not looking at me, then he said, “Things are the way they are for a reason, we sometimes just can’t see what that reason might be.”

  That sounded very wise so I agreed with him to smooth things over.

  He says, “I believe I need a glass of water, Odell, would you mind?”

  “With ice?”

  “Just as it comes from the tap. The prophets of old didn’t have any ice water to cool their thirst out there in the desert.”

  I got him the prophet kind of water and he drunk it down, then he stood up and shook my hand. “I’m going back to Topeka tomorrow, so this will be goodbye, Odell. It’s a shame about Dean being the way he is, but that’s no fault of yours, you didn’t know.”

  “I sure didn’t.”

  “Life is a mystery,” he says, “or it appears so to mortal eyes.”

  “Uhuh.”

  He gave my hand one last firm Christian shake and then went down the steps to his car. He got in and started driving away, leaving me with a sad feeling. He was a good man that saw things different to me so there could not be that special connection which is friendship. Watching his Cadillac drive away slow I asked myself who I ever had the special friendship connection with, and after kind of running everyone I ever knew through my head I had to admit it never really happened yet, I don’t know why, but then I’m young still and so have got plenty of time. I had high hopes for Lorraine regarding this. Maybe tomorrow at the funeral I’d get the chance to tell her what’s on my mind. Then again, a funeral day is something sad that you shouldn’t talk about your own problems in, just the relatives of the dead person, their problems are up for discussing instead, so maybe all of that about telling her how I feel will have to wait awhile yet.

  Looking out from the porch at all that Kansas emptiness made me anxious to be doing something, only I couldn’t figure out what that certain thing might be, which I know sounds peculiar but that’s how it was, kind of like having a plan and then getting knocked on the head and you lose your memory of the plan, but you remember that there was a plan, which now is running around in circles like a record inside your head wanting to get made into reality, only you can’t do it because you forgot what it is. It made me restive and unhappy to be that way, but what can you do about that – nothing.

  And then I knew what it was I wanted to do. It was just as plain as plain can be. I wanted to tell someone I killed Dean accidental and he won’t be sneaking up on Senator Ketchum with a gun to kill him like everyone expects. The whole country is in an uproar about Dean because I have not told what I know, and the Big Secret is weighing me down like a hundred pound sack of flour set across my shoulders. I wanted to tell Condoleezza Rice the whole truth. I would not want to tell anyone else. I only trust my friend Condi to understand what happened and be forgiving about it, knowing none of it was intended to happen that way. And now that I knew what it was that I’d been wanting to do all along, nothing could stop me now from going ahead and doing it.

  I went through the house till I found a pen and some paper and a box of envelopes that had one of those little rolls of stamps inside of it, then I sat down at the kitchen table with a shot glass of the Captain to steady me I’m so excited about this. And I wrote her a letter, which this is it here.

  Dear Condoleezza Rice,

  You do not know me but maybe have seen me on the news about Dean Lowry after he murdered his Aunt Bree last week. Dean has been in the news about that, also his connection to Muslim Terrorists that he knows. Only here is the actual fact about that – He does not know any Terrorists, only thought about being a Muslim to make his aunt mad at him, nothing serious, but she must have yelled at him too loud about this and drove him over the edge as they say. And that is where he killed her, in the state of madness not like his Regular Self at all. But yes he did that terrible thing. But now everyone is thinking all this about Dean killing Senator Ketchum, which he did
say but was not serious. And even if he was serious, nothing could happen about that because Dean is gone from Among Us. I have killed him with a baseball bat but I swear it’s accidental what happened. He woke me up with a gun in his hand and I panicked I think and hit him with the bat before even thinking if I should do that. He was okay until next day when he died, but at first I thought he’s sleeping. Then I found out he is dead. I have got him buried in the back yard here, so you can tell Senator Ketchum from me there is no danger about this, Dean is gone now. I swear to you I did not mean this to happen. And now I confessed to it I am hopeful you can forgive me the lying which was something I had to do, I’m sure you can see why. So that is why I have sent this to you dear Miss Condoleezza Rice.

  Yours truly,

  Odell Deefus

  I checked it two times looking for mistakes but there aren’t any, so I put it in the envelope and sealed her down with a lick, then the same for a postage stamp up in the corner and Condi’s name, The White House, Washington DC. I left off the zip-code not knowing it, but the Post Office knows where Washington DC is, they are not idiots. Then I put the envelope all stiff and flat up on the mantelshelf between the brass Indian chief head and the seashell ashtray Souvenir of Florida. Then I sat on the sofa and stared at the letter like it’s a famous picture hung on the wall. I wanted to mail it right away, but it’s Sunday so there’s no point, it wouldn’t get emptied out of the mailbox until Monday anyway. What I would do, I would mail it after I went to the funeral.

  It was so much of a relief knowing I have done the right thing at last. I think one reason I didn’t do it yet is because I would have to get interviewed by Chief Webb who I do not like and he doesn’t like me, which would be a bad experience to happen. This way it’s Condi Rice who gets told the truth and she is a gentle person even if sometimes she has got to be very firm with those leaders of other countries that don’t think like we do, but very fair-minded above all so I have done the smart thing here telling her and not Chief Webb. Condi will invite the top guys from the FBI and Homeland Security and Senator Ketchum around to her place for coffee and cake and explain to them that I did not mean it about Dean and not to throw me in jail. I felt like crying I am so happy about this relief I gave myself.