Naked Hustle

by Trey Parker

  He laughed. “What’s going to be there? It’s my little after party. More fun. More money. More living. More of me.”

  “I guess I’ll slide through. Can I bring one of my girls?”

  “Noooo. Just you. What’s your number, I’ll text you,” he pulled out his phone.

  “404-555-4203.”

  “Cool. I’m texting it to you now. I’m out,” he said as he stood up from the couch and gave her a kiss on the cheek. His whole entourage started walking towards the door.

  The security guards started helping her pick up the money. She then went to the back dressing room. She had made more money in one night, then she had made in a whole month—10K.

  While counting money in the back room, Toya could feel the envy in the room. A couple of girls walked by and smacked their teeth. She overheard others talking about how lame Lil Fresh was. Farren eventually walked in and came to her.

  “Girl! Look at you! See I told you! You’re making me proud! I created a monster. How much do you think you made?”

  “At least 10K,” Latoya said.

  “See. There’s nothing like the naked hustle. I didn’t get to see Lil Fresh up close. Is he as fine as he is on TV?”

  “Yes. He looks scrumptious! He gave me his number too.”

  “Oh shit! What is he doing afterwards?”

  “I don’t know. He told me to meet him at his place afterwards. I’m not sure if I want to go.”

  “Girl. Go! When will you ever get a chance to hang out with someone as famous and rich as him?”

  “It’s not that. I just don’t want to do something I’ll regret later you know. I know myself,” said Latoya.

  “Are you talking about fucking him? You don’t have to. Just go and hang out and vibe. If you don’t go, give me your phone, I’ll go in your place,” she grabbed at Toya’s phone.

  “Ok, ok. I’ll go and hang out for awhile,” said Toya keeping it way from Farren.

  She used the GPS to take her to his place. He was in a loft downtown. It was on the 56th floor. She took the elevator. She didn’t know what to think. She was sure Lil Fresh probably invited her over to have sex. She was determined not to have sex.

  She knocked on the door. He opened the door. He had changed clothes already. He was in a white robe. It was just him.

  “After party? Where is everyone?” Latoya asked looking around the loft.

  “I am the after party,” he said as he motioned her in.

  She looked around at his place. He had some of his albums and singles as plaques. However, the most breathtaking thing about the place was the view of the city. You could see all of downtown. It was as if they were on top of the world.

  “This view is amazing,” she said walking towards the window.

  “You like it? You think you can get used to it?” he asked.

  “Of course, I can.”

  “So, what are you going to do to show me that you deserve a view like this one?”

  “Nothing. Hey listen I like you and all, but I’m not here to have sex. Let’s be crystal clear.”

  “Who said anything about sex? I meant, living here.”

  “Living here?”

  “Yes. What part didn’t you understand?”

  “Ok. I’m not your girlfriend or wife, why would I live here?”

  “You’re right. You’re not. Not yet, at least.”

  “Why would you want me to be your girlfriend, you don’t even know me,” said Latoya.

  “Exactly, And that’s what you’re here for. So, I can get to know you better.”

  “Why would you want a girlfriend? I mean you have all the girls in the world at your fingertips? You have plenty of money, why would you want me as your girlfriend?”

  “You think I want a million hoes? Well I don’t. I want to share my success with one girl. A girl that I can trust. A girl that I can build with.”

  “Why consider me though? I mean, you just met me a couple of hours ago. You don’t even know me.”

  “Because there was something special about you. When we made eye contact the first time, I knew you could possibly be Mrs. Henderson in the future.”

  “Mrs. Henderson? That’s your last name?”

  “I thought you were one of my biggest fans. Francisco Henderson is my full name.”

  “You got me. I didn’t know.”

  “Well, if you want to have the key to this place, then you have to earn the key to my heart.”

  “How do I do that?”

  “First, you can start with taking a shot with me,”

  “A shot? As long as you don’t try to have sex.”

  “Relax. No one is trying to have sex. I’m just trying to get the after party going.”

  “Ok. Just one.”

  He went to turn on some music, then he went to the kitchen and poured up two shots. They took them both.

  “Let’s play a game called Mercy.”

  “How do you play?”

  “So. The theme of the game is, the first one to say mercy loses. We are going to time each other as we perform some type of act on one another. For example, I’m going to suck on your neck, until you say mercy and then I’ll stop. The longer you hold out without saying it, the better chance you have of winning. We’ll time each other. And then you have to do it to me. Whoever says mercy in the shortest amount of time loses.”

  “How many different girls have you played this game with?” she asked.

  “Does that matter?”

  “Yes. To me it does.”

  “You’re the first girl that I’ve told about the game.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “Uggghhh. Do you want to play or not?” he said.

  “Ok, I’ll play.”

  “Good! Do you want me to go first or you to go first?” he said.

  “Uhh. You go first,” Latoya responded.

  “Ok. Remember, the goal is to go as long as you can without saying mercy.”

  He motioned her closer and then started caressing her neck with his tongue. He was slow and steady. Very patient. She was melting inside. Her panties were becoming moist. He knew it to, and that’s why he reached down there and started caressing her pussy too. At that point, she didn’t care about the game.

  He started taking her clothes off. She helped him. She laid down and he got on top of her. She could not believe what was happening. She was about to have sex with her biggest crush, Lil Fresh the famous rapper. He eased inside her… And to her surprise, his dick was just that: little. However, once he started stroking, she realized that his stroke game compensated for his lack of size. He had really good rhythm. She figured that came with him being an artist. He went up and down, and in circles. They were in motion together, slow, and steady. It was good enough to make her cum all over his sheets. Shortly after, he did the same and they fell asleep.

  The next morning, she woke up. She looked to the right of her and saw Lil Fresh in a deep sleep with the sheets halfway on top of him. He was snoring. Loud. Latoya was parched and hungry. She needed something in her stomach ASAP. She hopped up to look in the refrigerator to see if there was something to eat. Nothing. As empty as could be. She figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea for her to sneak out to the grocery story to get him some breakfast. There was a Publix like a minute away. Plus, it would be a good way for her to surprise him with breakfast in bed. He would probably fall in love after that. She left the door unlocked. He wouldn’t mind.

  At 8:45 a.m., she was on her way back to his condo. She wanted to cook a big breakfast so she had a good amount of groceries. Eggs, bread, cheese, waffles, sausage, grits, orange juice, water, bacon, syrup, fruit to name a few items. She was sure he was used to eating really good so she figured she couldn’t slack. Plus, she didn’t know exactly what he wanted.

  She got to the door with all of her groceries in hand. She tried to twist the door knob. The door was locked. She gently but firmly knocked on the door just loud enough for him to hear it but to not wake the neighbor
s. Knock, knock, knock! Again, no answer. Then she started banging. Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! She rang the doorbell. She stood there for a second… No answer. She pulled out her phone and called him. Three times. No answer. She was concerned. She stayed there for about 10 minutes, groceries in hand, until she finally decided to leave. As she walked away, something told her to look on Instagram. She went to Lil Fresh’s page to see a picture of him, fully dressed, driving a Bentley, and telling everyone he was on his way to the airport to head to New York.

  1

  NAKED HUSTLE

  1

  NAKED HUSTLE

  23. Guns and Roses

  There were always guys that were in love with Black Vanity. These guys just didn’t get it. The guys forgot that it was Latoya’s job to dance and flirt with them. Of course, Latoya didn’t mind them coming back and spending their money on a consistent basis. They are good clients. But sometimes, the men really were in love, and thought they had a chance to date her… especially Edwin.

  “Edwin… You know I love you, but you know that I’m not going to give you my number. I have a boyfriend,” said Latoya sitting on his lap.

  “Farren said you don’t have a boyfriend. I asked.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Farren doesn’t know everything about me, you know. I have a personal life, too.”

  “I understand. But if you really have a boyfriend, why is he letting you do this? If you were my girl, I wouldn’t let you do this,” said Edwin.

  “But Edwin. How? You don’t make enough for the both of us, baby. Not with that job that you have working for the city. I’m high maintenance, baby. You don’t want me. I require too much. I gotta get my own money anyway. I don’t need any man to provide.”

  “Come on. It’s tough for a black man that’s been to prison.”

  “You been to prison, Edwin? For how long?”

  “Twenty years.”

  “Twenty years?!! What’d you do?”

  “When I was 18-years old, I killed someone.”

  “Edwin, I couldn’t see you killing someone! You’re the nicest person I know.”

  “I’m like this now. But back when I was young and stupid, I made terrible mistakes.”

  “Wow. That’s insane. How does it feel to have killed someone?”

  “I felt numb. Didn’t feel anything. But I had to kill him or either he was going to eventually kill me. So, in my head, it had to be done.”

  “Well, you don’t have to worry about killing anyone anymore, ok,” said Latoya rubbing his back.

  “You never know, If I have to again, I will,” said Edwin taking a sip of his Coors Light.

  That’s when the conversation got awkward and scary. Out of the corner of Latoya’s eye, she saw Farren waving for her to come over. Usually when she did that, there was a big spender in the area. She wanted to wrap up her convo with Edwin quick before the other girls eased their way over there. She patted Edwin on the shoulder, “Edwin, I’ll be back.” She walked Farren’s way.

  “Hey. Come here let me introduce you to a good friend of mine,” said Farren.

  “Ok. What’s his name?”

  “Poison.”

  “Uh uhh. Poison? What kind of name is Poison?”

  Farren laughed. “You ask him. Don’t worry, he’s a really nice guy. He has a crush on me but I don’t give him the time of day.”

  “Why? Is he ugly?” asked Latoya.

  “No. Too much drama, he’s a shooter.”

  “Shooter?”

  “Yes. Shooter. Like bang, bang. Big drug dealers hire him to shoot people. He does all of their dirty work.”

  “Ummm. So, he kills people? Oh, hell no! Why would I want to meet a killer?” asked Latoya stopping in her tracks.

  “Girl, come over. I’ve been knowing Poison for years. He’s harmless to us. He’s someone that can protect you, not hurt you. Actually, just knowing him will have you pretty much untouchable because every guy is afraid of him. No guy would ever even look at me the wrong way because I’m cool with Poison. But he’s probably the sweetest dude you’d ever meet.”

  Latoya stood there hesitant. Farren grabbed Latoya’s arm and they walked over to Poison.

  “Poison. This is my friend Toya,” said Farren.

  “Nice to meet you. Why do they call you Poison?”

  “Because when I’m around, usually a situation is about to turn toxic.”

  Farren nudged him. “Don’t scare her! He’s just being silly.”

  “I’ve just been called that since I was a child,” said Poison smiling.

  “Ok. Well, nice to meet you,” Latoya said walking away.

  “I’ll see you around,” said Poison with a wink.

  1

  NAKED HUSTLE

  24. Robbing the Hood

  It was a slow day when Farren asked Latoya for a favor. The last couple of weeks had been slow at Dreamville. It was winter so business had slowed down tremendously.

  "Toya. You wanna make some money?" asked Farren.

  "Of course, I do. My pockets are dry. What's up?"

  "It’s this dude name Booker that's coming here tonight. He just texted me. He's a super big spender that is a complete wreck. He's always drunk and high and he talks a lot of shit. He always carries lots of cash on him. He's like one of those drug dealers that don't know how to handle money. He’s sloppy."

  "Ok. Sooo, what does that have to do with me?" asked Latoya.

  "He's always telling me that he wants to have a private party. I always tell him no because I know he's an asshole. But now that I have you around I was thinking that maybe we can have a private party for him and take all his money."

  "Take his money as in rob him? Hell no. Girl, you are crazy."

  "No silly! Just take the money that he's going to offer us. When he's drunk and high, he'll spend whatever on whomever. He really has a lot of money to blow but he's not going to spend it all here. I know he has at least $250,000 probably sitting around his house somewhere."

  "So, you want to go to his house, get him super drunk and high to the point where he's incoherent, then get him to spend way more money on us at his house then what he would at the club?"

  "Yes."

  "No. I can't do that, sorry."

  “Ok. I can respect that.”

  Later on, that night, Latoya walked around Dreamville seeing if anyone was interested in a dance. She saw someone flag her down from the corner of her eye.

  She walks over to see a gentleman that was draped with gold chains and smelled like a ton of weed.

  “Ayy! You fine as hell. What’s your name?” said the guy.

  “Black Vanity? What’s your name?”

  “Everybody calls me Booker…”

  Recognizing that this was Farren’s guy that she was referring to. She started to kid with him.

  “So, you’re the guy that everyone is talking about, huh?”

  “They talking about me? They should be since I spend so much damn money here,” he said looking at his friends sitting next to him.

  “Well, I haven’t seen any money that you speak of yet… I’m new here,” said Latoya flirting.

  “And you ain’t gone see none of my money if you don’t shut the fuck up and start dancing. I didn’t call you over here to be flapping your gums, I called you over to shake that ass,” he said hitting her on her behind.

  Latoya didn’t know how to respond. She stood there for a second, and then walked away. She couldn’t handle that level of disrespect. While walking away she heard him say, “Ayy Black Vanity I was just playing! Damn, you can’t take a joke? Come back!”

  Farren was entertaining a guy on the other side of the club when Latoya walked up to her. She whispered in Farren’s ear. “About that favor you asked for earlier...count me in.”

  It was after 4:00 in the morning when Latoya hopped in Farren’s car. She buckled up.

  “You ready?” said Farren looking at her.

  “Yep,” she said.

  “Ok, this is how it’
s going to go down. We’re going to get him fucked up. And I mean fucked up! But we can’t be obvious about it. We have to act like we’re kind of drunk too. So, I’m going to be drinking. You too. And then we’re going to start dancing and shit. Play along with him. Get him horny. Then, when he’s pissy drunk, we’re going to take whatever we can.”

  “Wait. But isn’t he just going to wake up and notice that his shit is gone. And he’s going to know that it was us. Am I missing something?”

  “By that time, we’re going to be gone! And plus, if he ever comes back we’ll just say that’s how much it cost. He’s going to throw mad money since we’re making it a private party for him. He’s a careless-ass nigga. A sloppy drunk. He doesn’t give a shit about money because he gets so much of it. Plus, he’s a bit of a duck, he’s weak. He’s not going to do shit to us, I promise.”

  “But someone he knows probably will. I don’t know Farren. He knows where we work. How much are we trying to take? How much money is not noticeable to him?”

  “He’ll spend 50K in one weekend on stupid shit. So, we can at least get that out of him tonight if we do it right.”

  “At least 50K?! No. I can’t do that. He’ll definitely notice. What if he catches us in the act? Hell no. I’m out! Drop me off here. Let me out,” she said while reaching for the car door to get out.

  “Wait, Latoya! Just wait. Do you think I would put you in harm’s way? Like seriously?! I love my life too. You don’t think I thought this through? I have killers on standby just in case shit hits the fan. We’re protected. Look, I can’t do this by myself. This is going to be the easiest money you would ever make. Trust me. You’re not going to leave me hanging are you? I need you on this one. I would do it for you.”

  Latoya sat there for a minute. A part of her wanted to leave immediately. The other part of her wanted the money and wanted to do Farren a favor.

  “Ok.”

  “Ok. What?” said Farren.

  “Ok, I’ll do it. But only if you promise me that we will take only cash, and no one gets hurt!”

  “I promise. Let’s go.”