Naked Hustle

by Trey Parker

  4:36 a.m.

  Farren and Latoya got to Booker’s condo building. They took the elevator up to the 31st floor. Then arrived at his place 3113. They stood outside of the door. They could hear loud trap music playing inside.

  Farren looked at Latoya. “You good?” she asked.

  Latoya took a deep breath. “As good as I’m gonna be,” she replied. Farren knocked on the door. Latoya’s heart started beating. The door opened.

  “Finally! Shit! I thought you had forgot about me!” Booker looked at Latoya. “Oh, and you brought me a gift! See, I knew our night wasn’t going to end on a bad note!” He said winking. Latoya couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

  They walked in. His clothes were everywhere. Random boxes. It smelled like they walked into a marijuana farm. She saw mini scales on the counter with mounds of white powder on them. There was stacks of money everywhere. There was a money counter. Other than the junkiness, it was a nice place, for a guy. He had a portrait of Scarface on the wall. The furniture all looked new. A 72-inch television was in the living room.

  Booker went to the counter. He put his nose to the counter and sniffed a whole line of cocaine. “Woo! I’m lit! Y’all want some?!” he said looking up with a white tip on his nose.

  “Hell no! I’m good on that right now,” Latoya said shaking her head.

  Farren bumped Latoya with her elbow.

  “What’s wrong with your friend?! She too bourgeois for me, huh?” Booker said.

  “No, she’s just quiet and shy. I’ll take some. Just get her some liquor, she’ll loosen up,” said Farren looking at Latoya with an agitated face.

  “How bout I pour all of us up. We bout to have a good night,” said Booker going to the refrigerator.

  “That’s cool,” said Farren. She then whispered in Latoya’s ear, “Don’t fuck this up. Just go with the flow.”

  Booker poured up three snifters of D’Ussé. Then he and Farren went to the kitchen counter and snorted a line together. They then picked the glasses up and started drinking. Farren and Booker gulped their drinks down all at once. Latoya refused at first but they then persuaded her to do the same. She finally gave in and finished the drink.

  “Y’all hurry up and go change. I’ll be in the room waiting,” said Booker.

  Latoya and Farren both went to the bathroom.

  “Relax girl. I can tell that you’re bugging,” said Farren as she changed into lingerie.

  “I just need to get this shit over with. I’m already regretting it. Not sure why I’m even here,” said Latoya just standing there fully clothed.

  “You’re here for this money! That’s why you’re here. And It will be over before you know it. He’s already fucked up. He’s in La La land right now.”

  “He’s not fucked up enough. Neither am I to go through with this shit.”

  “Ok. We just need to drink more and we’ll be good. Hurry up and change so we can drink more. I got you.”

  Latoya let out a deep sigh, and stripped down to her lingerie as well. They then went back into the kitchen.

  “Booker, my friend is sober. We need to make her comfortable. We need to get her more drunk. All of us need to drink more,” said Farren.

  “All right pour up! As much as you need. And bring me a glass,” he yelled from his room.

  Farren started pouring. She looked towards Booker’s room briefly. Then she dropped a white pill into his drink.

  Latoya’s eyes widened. Farren looked at Latoya with her finger to her mouth. “Shhhh,” she murmured. “Shut up. I got this.”

  Latoya was a second away from walking out.

  “It’s going to be fine,” Farren said. “Here, just take another shot.”

  Latoya listened and begrudgingly drank the liquor.

  They went to the bedroom. Booker was in bed with just his boxers on. He was laying there with the biggest wad of ones Latoya had ever seen. He could barely hold it with one hand.

  Farren handed him his glass. He took a quick sip. Then put it next to him on his night stand.

  “What music y’all want to hear? I didn’t update my music selection. I have some Old Young Jeezy. That’s cool?”

  Farren said. “I’ll dance to anything. It don’t matter to me.”

  He grabbed the remote to his sound system, then changed the music. Then he looked at Latoya. “It look like you need to drink more. You look scared,” he held his glass up for her to come get it.

  She shook her head no.

  Booker looked at the cup. Then Latoya again. “Come on now. Don’t be like that.”

  Latoya shook her head no. “I already took a shot in the kitchen. I feel good.”

  Booker looked closely at the cup. “Y’all ain’t trying to poison me. Are y’all?” Booker looked at Farren with a side eye. Farren looked at Latoya.

  “Of course not! Just drink some Latoya, you’re killing the vibe right now,” she said.

  Latoya walked slowly to the cup with her arms folded. She unfolded her arms and took the smallest sip possible. She barely even swallowed. Kind of let it swoosh around in her mouth. Then she attempted to give it back.

  “No! Drink more of this shit. I have to make sure y’all ain’t trying to poison me. I ain’t stupid.”

  Latoya took the glass and drank half. Then she gave it back to him.

  “Now, you drink the rest!”

  Booker looked at the cup, then looked at Latoya and smiled. “Ahhhh. You’re a feisty one aren’t you. I like that shit,” he then finished the glass.

  Farren started dancing. Then Latoya started. To Latoya, it was the most awkward and uncomfortable situation she had ever witnessed. Uncomfortable doesn’t even start to describe how she felt. Farren on the other hand, was in a zone. She was dancing like normal. It was as if she had done this before.

  After awhile, Latoya settled in. And she was feeling really good. She felt like she could fly. Booker was throwing mad money. There was at least 5K on the ground. Latoya just had to pretend that she was dancing for her future husband in his boxers. But of course, her husband won’t have to throw her money. She actually started enjoying it a little.

  Whatever drugs she had taken had her feeling like she was superwoman. The problem was that Farren had got way too comfortable. Booker motioned her over to come closer. Now she’s giving him a lap dance in his bed. Scrubbing on him.

  Latoya is still dancing on the foot of the bed. Somewhat of a sexy slow twerk. Latoya felt like she was dancing for herself because Booker was all over Farren. She feels left out and stupid. She didn’t know what to do. She edged a little closer to Farren as she danced on his lap. Then she saw him take Farren’s bra off and followed by sucking on her nipples. Latoya started to hear Farren quietly moan. Latoya was shocked. But she guessed it was part of the plan, so she just ignored it.

  Then, Farren’s dancing motions started to change a little. It looked more like thrusting. Farren and Booker were having sex. She was riding on top of Booker. Latoya could tell because he started moving his hips to hers and she started moaning louder.

  Latoya was disgusted. She didn’t know that Farren got down like this. It was seamless. She barely even knew Booker. Her perception of Farren changed at that moment. The girl she had looked up to was having sex with a random drug dealer for money. The funny thing was that she couldn’t judge because she had done the same. But watching someone else that she looked up to, gave her a different perspective. Especially since she told herself that she would never do it again.

  At this point, she felt so out of place. But she started to feel horny and drowsy. Farren and Booker were having sex for at least three minutes. Latoya laid on the bed next to them. She didn’t know what else to do. She then felt Booker feeling on her breasts while he had sex with Farren. Latoya didn’t even care. She just laid there.

  Latoya was dozing off when she heard a loud bang sound coming from the front of the condo. She thought she was dreaming at first. She looked up and saw three bodies in all black run in. They had on
ski masks. They had big guns.

  “Get the fuck down!” they demanded, pointing their guns.

  Latoya dropped to the floor screaming!

  “Shut the fuck up bitch! Before we kill you!” one said getting closer and pointing the gun directly to her face.

  Latoya shut up quick.

  Farren hopped off Booker and wrapped her naked body in the covers.

  Slurring his words badly, Booker speaks, “You niggas fucked up booyy...you robbed the wrong nigga. I’m gone kill you fuckers. Musa’s going to kill you and whoever sent you.”

  Gunshots rang. Latoya and Farren both screamed.

  “Shut the fuck up bitches! Get in the fucking closet before we blow your brains out next,” they said pointing their guns.

  They both got up and ran to the closet. One of the guys had a red bandana wrapped around his neck.

  Latoya was whimpering in the dark. Farren hugged her crying. They could hear the guys talking.

  “Get all the fucking money. Every fucking dollar. Get the coke. Look for jewelry! Get the safe too! We’ll break that shit open later!”

  Latoya just knew that she was going to die that night. She just envisioned seeing her sister Leah in heaven.

  Farren grabbed her hands. Then she started praying quietly. “God just let us make it out alive, just let us make it out alive. Forgive us for our sins.”

  The closet door slammed open and one of the men pointed the gun at both Farren and Latoya.

  “Please don’t shoot!” said Latoya.

  “Shut up!” the guy yelled. He turned to the other men. “What about the bitches!?”

  “Fuck it. Just leave them,” said another.

  The guy turned and slammed the closet door back shut, startling Farren and Latoya.

  After five minutes, it got really quiet. Latoya was afraid to move.

  “You think they gone?” whispered Farren.

  “I hope so,” Latoya said.

  They peaked out the closet. It appeared as if they were gone. They got up. They looked at the bed. Booker was slumped over. The bed was painted with red like something out of a horror movie. His eyes and mouth were wide open.

  “They killed Booker! Should we call the police?” yelled Latoya in a panic.

  “No! Let’s just go! They’re going to think we did it! Let’s just get out of here!” said Farren.

  1

  NAKED HUSTLE

  1

  NAKED HUSTLE

  25. Peace of the Pie

  Two weeks later

  Latoya was paranoid about Booker. The TV in the dressing room was showing the story on Booker’s murder. It was just her and another dancer in the room.

  “They’re still talking about Booker’s murder, huh?” said the dancer.

  “Yea. That’s a sad story,” said Latoya.

  “Are you going to the funeral?” asked the girl.

  “Oh no. I didn’t know him at all,” Latoya rebutted.

  “Oh really? He was always here. Throwing all his money. Damn Poison, is a rich man right now. Him and whoever else was involved,” said the girl.

  “Poison? Poison killed Booker?” Latoya was intrigued.

  “Yea, girl you didn’t know? Well, let’s keep that between me and you. I heard that it was Poison and Farren that was in on it. Farren always wanted to rob Booker. Because he was an easy lick. Sloppy. Belligerent. Rich. That’s an easy target for her and Poison. I’m sure there were more people involved. But whoever was involved, they got some real money,”

  “Oh, really. Well that whole situation is fucked up. Excuse me girl, I need to make a phone call real quick,” said Latoya.

  Latoya went outside and dialed Farren immediately.

  “Sooo. Why didn’t you tell me?” said Latoya.

  “Tell you what?” said Farren.

  “Tell me that everything was planned all along. You, Poison, and Booker. You were going to do it your way.”

  “Toya. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am not going to entertain you trying to convict me of something that isn’t true.”

  “Stop the lying Farren. You bought a new car. You haven’t been to work in two weeks. Don’t fucking lie to me.”

  “So, you’re watching my pockets now?” Farren asked.

  “Where’s my cut?”

  “Toya…”

  “I want my cut of the money that was stolen. I was there. My life was put at risk because of you. I want to be compensated for my trouble.”

  “Or what, Toya? What are you going to do? Go to the police and tell them that you were involved in a murder heist that you want compensation for?”

  Toya was silent.

  “Exactly. Nothing happened that night. I don’t know what you’re talking about. All I know is that Booker was killed. I have no clue on who killed him. If anyone asks you, I WAS not there. And it would be in your best interest to say that you were not there either.”

  “So, this is the real you huh. You’re willing to cheat a close friend to get a couple of bucks. Thank you for showing me your true colors.”

  “It’s business Toya. Nothing personal. Once you learn that no one is ever going to give you shit in this life, you’d be better off. Now let’s not talk about this ever again.”

  Livid, Latoya still went back inside to work.

  After her shift was over, Latoya was walking to her car when, suddenly, a black Camaro pulled up beside her. The tints were super black, she couldn’t see in. She was afraid for her life. The window rolled down slowly. It was Poison with a fitted cap on and you can barely see his eyes.

  “Get in,” Poison said not looking at her.

  “Why. Where are you taking me?” said Latoya full of fear.

  Poison looked her dead in the eye and rolled the window down further to show her that he had a Glock 19 in his lap. “I’m not going to ask you twice, Latoya.”

  Terrified. Latoya proceeded to the passenger’s seat. She was shaking in fear.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Poison said.

  “Nothing’s wrong.”

  “Then why are you shaking like that? You are so damn scared. There’s nothing to be afraid of when you’re with me. When you’re with me you should feel the safest. Remember that,” said Poison looking at her shivering thighs.

  “Ok. Then what do you want from me?”

  “I got something for you,” said Poison reaching in the back of the car.

  He pulls out a duffle bag and sets it on her lap.

  “We’re doing this out of the kindness of my heart. It’s $25K in the bag. Keep your mouth closed. You didn’t get this from me. I don’t know you, you don’t know me. Ok?”

  “Ok?”

  Poison then reached over Latoya and opened the door. “Goodbye.”

  1

  NAKED HUSTLE

  26. 21 Questions

  Although Booker’s murder was still on her mind, It didn’t take long for Latoya to go shopping. Two days after she had received Poison’s package to be exact. Shopping was a way to take her mind off that situation. It was liberating. She went to Phipps Plaza and got all the clothes that she wanted. Gucci, Prada, and Jeffrey… any brand she wanted, she got. She also redid her whole condo. Well, not her whole condo, really just the new couches for her living room and a new bedroom set.

  She had just got home from shopping. There were at least 10 bags full of new merchandise in the living room. She was exhausted so she plopped down on the couch. She knew she had to stay up though because the delivery people were going to drop off her new couch and her new king-sized bed any minute. Forty-five minutes later she heard the doorbell. She ran to open the door.

  “Y’all are a little late huh?”

  The two gentlemen at the door looked at each other confused.

  “Y’all were supposed to be here at 3:05 p.m. and it’s 3:45. I may want a discount on the delivery since y’all didn’t arrive on time. And where’s the couch? Is it in the truck?” she said looking for a truck.

  “Latoy
a, my name Detective Roger Snells from the Fulton County Police Department and we want to ask you a couple of questions. Is that ok?”

  Latoya’s heart dropped to the floor.

  “Oh. I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else. I apologize. What questions are y’all asking about?”

  “The death of Brandon Carr, aka Booker,” said the investigator.

  “I don’t know anything about that…” said Latoya.

  “Well looks like our visit will be quicker than expected. We just want to know exactly where you were at 4:00 am Sunday December the 21st.”

  “I don’t know. Probably in my bed. Sleeping.”

  “Well we have some conflicting information. We have some intel stating that you were in Booker’s condo during this time, along with another young lady. Minutes before his murder.”

  “We just need the truth. Please don’t fabricate anything with us or else you can be in some big trouble. I don’t like wasting my time and I’m sure you don’t like wasting yours. So, let’s start this again. Where were you on the date of Mr. Carr’s death?”

  “I was there. With a friend. I’m a dancer. We were supposed to be drinking and dancing for him. That’s all.”

  “Who was your friend?”

  “Honestly, aren’t I supposed to have a lawyer to help answer these questions. I don’t feel comfortable speaking with you about this. Am I under arrest?”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “So technically, I can go back in my house without talking to y’all if I don’t want to. Correct?”

  “Technically, yes.”

  “So, in that case, I have somewhere to be so I’ll be on my way. Thank you, gentlemen.”

  Latoya closed the door and immediately called Farren.

  “Are you with the police?”

  “No, I just closed the door on them. They’re outside my door,” said Latoya.

  “You didn’t tell them anything did you?”

  “No.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes, Farren.”

  “Girl this shit is getting crazy. I want to apologize for putting you through this shit. We’re innocent but the fact that our names got somehow tied into this shit is crazy. We should be good.”