Noble Hearts

by Jerry Cole

  “Perhaps for you to learn to become sociable, but I must learn independence,” Theodore said. “Can I learn to be independent if I never am alone?”

  Edmond scratched his head lightly. “I may be too intoxicated to understand that. Or maybe you are speaking utter nonsense.”

  "You did not become so stern, so serious, so strong by studying someone. You developed those abilities alone, without support. I think the lack of support is the key," Theodore said, avoiding Edmond's gaze.

  Edmond seemed confused. "So, you shall not come with me, for you wish to be more like me? Have you not seen the results of being as I was, as I still am? Nothing good comes from who I used to be.”

  "You and I are two extremes. We each have our good sides and our bad sides. We only saw the bad side in you and the good side in me, but there are two sides to each coin, Edmond," Theodore insisted.

  "There is nothing good about me!" Edmond exclaimed. "There never was!"

  "No, that is part of your problem," Theodore said, looking out the window. "I need to show you to see the good in yourself. But I also need to learn to become more self-critical. I do not think I can learn that from a man who despises himself and worships me."

  “I do not want you to learn to hate yourself,” Edmond replied, stepping up.

  Theodore shook his head and raised his arm between them. “I do not want to hate myself either. I simply want to see my flaws and correct them.”

  “Could I not help you?” Edmond said, stepping back a little.

  "No, I can only see the problems with my own mind if I do so alone, as you did," Theodore said. "And that is final. Now, you need to rest. The alcohol is clouding your mind and if we must continue this discussion, I would rather do it when you are sober."

  Theodore had expected Edmond to put up more of a fight, but he did not. The Earl sighed, nodded, and left the room without another word.

  Theodore knew that Edmond would not entirely understand it. But Edmond was not the only one who needed to learn new tricks. And even if it was only for a night, he needed to try and curb his own passions and think for once. On his own.

  Edmond understood Theodore's desire to change and improve. He also resented that it was separating them.

  Lying awake in bed, Edmond tried to will himself to sleep, but his mind raced with the intensity of every emotion Theodore stirred in him.

  Had this discussion taken place several weeks ago, there was not a doubt in Edmond’s mind that Theodore would have leaped at the opportunity to live together. And now Theodore put up a barricade of seriousness and coldness that Edmond would never have thought the tutor was capable of.

  He had to admit, Theodore was getting good at this. He was so serious, so calm, so much more like a respectable adult than like the boyish man he had been when they first met. Which was a positive in most ways. Edmond liked this new, serious Theodore. At least a little. There was something undeniably sexy about him like this.

  ***

  "Let us go for a walk," Edmond said, adopting his usual mask of everything being normal, of being relaxed and content no matter what.

  Edmond knew how to break that perfect composure, of course. Edmond was the expert on introversion and awkwardness, and Theodore was barely a few days into this experience. He would be easy to break.

  He held Theodore's hand, seeing the young man flush in excitement already. It was going to be too easy to wind him up.

  Theodore tried to wrestle his arm free, but then seemed to realize that resistance would attract more attention than just letting things be.

  Edmond nodded. "The gazebo may be a good place to regroup. If you wish to appear dignified, sometimes you need to step aside and take a deep breath or two."

  "Feeling any better?" Edmond asked. He knew that Theodore would be, of course. He knew that this was the perfect chance to break his composure even more.

  "What if we are caught?" Theodore gasped as Edmond pushed him against the walls of the gazebo. "What if they see us here, doing this?"

  Theodore was weak against this sort of social pressure, against his own instincts and desires. Edmond was allowing himself to be weak too.

  Being weak felt good. It was like turning back to nature, becoming a simple beast in the arms of its mate.

  "You are such a wreck," Edmond said with a laugh. "You are so very, very bad at being a good, respectable young man, I am sure you are aware."

  "Do you want to be with me, or do you want to stay here and have this fancy gazebo all to yourself?" Edmond asked.

  "I will. I will join you under your roof." Theodore's lips met Edmond's eagerly.

  Edmond pulled back. "And what if people pass comment? What if they ask for an explanation?"

  "What is there to comment on? I am your tutor," Theodore replied, leaning in for another kiss.

  Epilogue

  Three days later, they were both packed up and ready to go. The Elridges took it surprisingly well, they seemed oblivious to what was actually happening.

  "Do you think anyone knows what we are doing?" Theodore asked, sliding up next to Edmond. "Or even suspects anything?"

  "We are freer than I had believed," Edmond said with a warm smile. "I had forgotten one key aspect to all social interactions, and I am not sure how."

  "So even if they have suspicions, they would never dare say anything?" Theodore asked. "That is... incredible. And also, ridiculous. But incredible."

  Edmond could not believe how simple, how easy it was. During their journey back he could not help but wonder how many other people around him were engaging in similarly unapproved activities.

  Once home, the servants wordlessly took their luggage as the two young men discretely walked up to the guest room and adjoined study.

  Perhaps that was precisely what such a room arrangement was designed for? To allow for indiscretions to become discrete, for sins to become secret, for life to carry on away from the watchful gaze of society.

  Theodore was right. It was only the judgment of man they were hiding from. And no man was there to judge them.

  He pulled Theodore onto his lap. The young man laughed in a combination of shock and humor as Edmond kissed him.

  He wrapped both arms about Theodore's body, pressing their bodies hard together, relishing the feeling of Theodore's heat against his own. "I need you. I need you now," Theodore gasped. "Take me. Have me. Use me."

  Edmond did not need to be asked twice.

  Theodore's body felt so good to the touch. All the servants were downstairs, tidying. Edmond had made sure of that. They could be as loud as they liked here and now.

  Edmond sighed and began to slide out of his boxers, feeling the sweet release and the cool air around him.

  Edmond pushed Theodore back into the bed and kissed him. Edmond could feel Theodore's cock pressing against his belly, throbbing, a little damp, ready.

  The solitude of the room, the heat of Theodore's body, the pleasure of their skin touching... If this was wrong, and suffering in silent solitude was right, then Edmond was happy to be wrong, now and forever.

  Theodore pressed up against Edmond's body as they both moaned and gasped in ecstasy. It was too perfect. He could scarcely believe he was there.

  Edmond gripped Theodore's cock and pumped harder and faster, making Theodore buck up into his hands. Theodore felt his mind growing hazy.

  It had been a reckless act. But the rewards were so much greater than any risk. The hatred of society was one thing, but to be without love was as bad, if not worse, than being shunned by the general population.

  Theodore thrust up, feeling both their bodies shudder at the same time as they released on top of one another.

  Theodore could not believe what he was doing. It was ridiculous. Dangerous, possibly. Against all that society expected of him. But he also knew many others were out there doing the same thing. How could there be any harm in it?

  There was no consequence but what mankind forced on one another. And Theodore was confident t
hat he would be able to avoid the judging eyes of other men.

  Yes, he would rather be shunned by all of society here, in Edmond's bed, than loved by all of society and sleeping alone.

  "I am so glad you agreed to come and live with me," Edmond said, gazing into Theodore's eyes with nothing but pure love.

  "You shall still need to teach me how to be a polite, dignified man," Theodore said with a nervous smile. "I must learn to hide all of this."

  He caressed Edmond's robust, hairy chest, feeling how soft and at once hard it was, wanting to explore every inch of the man's body, to relish their days together.

  "What happens when they ask why we never marry?" Theodore asked. "What do we tell them?"

  "We shall work it out," Edmond said. "I had never realized, until today, the power that my position gives me. I had seen it as being under the scrutiny of a million eyes. But now I see, I own all these eyes."

  Theodore kissed Edmond's chest, taking in the scent of musk, salty sweat, and sweet cologne.

  "I love you," he said with a sigh. "I love you more than words could ever express."

  Nobody would ever need to know what was actually taking place behind closed doors. After all, it was for them and them alone to know and experience. There were many more sinners out there than just the two of them.