The Life of Lol

by Andrew Birch

  Later, she realised the dress had been a mistake. Didn’t take her long to learn that. The Western USA trailer park was in the middle of the “Bowl towns” area. That was, various random collections of little shanties and towns spread about five miles apart from each other. The afternoon heat wore her down considerably, and made the cheap little dress cling with sweat to every inch of her body, emphasising every curve and inch of flesh. Nothing to be done now but walk. At least every so often there was a small farm or small holding. Signs of life. Mid-afternoon, she bugged an old woman who was sweeping out a path in front of her shack for a glass of water. Grumbling, the farmer’s wife came back with a pitcher of water and Tay had drunk it down eagerly. Further on, the shacks and farmhouses began to give way to abandoned grain silos and mine entrances, remnants of the old west and the gold rush, and further on into the baking desert and away from the coast there came the trailer parks, abandoned RVs and dilapidated things that just looked little more than sheds. Looks like the fucking zombie apocalypse had already happened, Tay reflected.

  The sun was beginning to fall in the late afternoon when she finally came to the Western USA Trailer park. ‘Plot four’ was all she’d read. That was where her DNA match lived. And suddenly she saw through all the dinginess of it all, suddenly she saw the beauty of it,

  “Lol has come home”, she thought, and her eyes began to feel moist at the sudden thought. Suddenly she couldn’t stop her body from shaking slightly. This was it. The missing fucking link. Whoever she was, the answer to her stupid ass fucking life was inside there.

  Of course, who the fuck was in there, she didn’t know, and why they would have left her behind? Probably knew she would turn out like an ornery bitch. With nothing to lose, she went to plot four, at the end of the small intersection. At one time, it had been a large trailer holiday home. Most of the paint seemed to have peeled off now, and a huge tarpaulin was stapled over the back end. A worn piece of decking was built up to the side, with a veranda over the top, with some garden furniture that had once been white, but were now baked to the same red colour of the earth. Her sneakers made no sound on the decking, though the rickety guard rail creaked as she put her hand on it. No one seemed to hear when she knocked on the metal door, and so pushing it slightly, she opened it,

  Chapter 24. Batshit crazy

  “Billy”, screamed a female voice from within, “I hope you’ve got my meds. I’m having an episode”

  He voice seemed oldish, though she could not guess how old. Tay went inside and stood there in the middle of the trailer. She ignored the filth, and the food cartons and evidence of drug use, and beer bottles strewn around. She stared open mouthed at the woman. She was getting old, sixth, Tay estimated. Long straggly white blonde hair. She wasn’t massive, but she looked out of shape, and a little fat about the face. She stared at the newcomer who had come waltzing into her trailer.

  “OH my”, said the oldish woman, “I’m having a fucking episode all right. I knew you’d come.”

  The woman stood, then leaned on the counter top,

  “I can’t fucking deal with you now”, she said, “I need my meds. Where’s that fucking son of mine, the no good piece of trash. He knows what I need.”

  Tay didn’t know what to say,

  “Are you my mom”, she said feeling about five years old.

  “I can’t deal with you like this”, the old woman screamed, growing agitated, I need my meds. I can’t just have you popping up like a fucking mole in the garden saying hi and now have something to take the edge off..”

  At that moment a man came in. Roughly mid-forties, he was wiry and gangly, with long straggly hair and a beard stubble about his face. Shirtless, he was wearing some kind of blue vest and jeans, with the oldest kind of sneakers Tay had ever seen.

  “Did you get my meds, you fucking lazy piece of trash”, the older woman shouted, “no! Of course you didn.t Too busy playing down that fucking bar, or shooting at shit with that dumb gun you built.”

  “I been workin, ma”, the man said with a gravelly voice”

  “MY son Billy, the crop duster” the old woman introduced to Tay

  Billy nodded,

  “Didn’t know you were having guests, ma” he said with puzzlement, “I’ll go get the meds now before the sun goes down. I was kinda hoping Winston would be able to help, but he says the plaster cast is a no go for him helping me for a bit.”

  “Excuses, excuses”, said the older woman, “you’re all the same”

  “I could help” suggested Tay helpfully, feeling a little out of place.

  They both looked at her,

  “With respect”, said Billy shaking his head, “I don’t think a little city blonde girl could handle my business. Or my precious mother.”

  He looked a little crazy to Tay. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but the eyes. A little too wide. He shouted, and seemed agitated.

  “It’s her mother too”, said the old woman quietly, sitting back down on the sofa holding her head,

  “I can’t deal with this now”, she continued, “fetch the fucking meds both of you. And then maybe I’ll feel well enough to talk”

  “Wait”, said Billy, stumbling towards Tay, “You’re Olivia?”

  “No”, Tay shook her head, “I’m Taylor”

  “Pale blonde hair and green eyes”, whispered the woman, “just get my fucking pills”

  Billy nodded,

  “Fine. We’ll get the fucking pills. Don’t get all strung out.”

  He stared at Tay close up in the face,

  “Are you really my sister?” he said scrutinising her the way a child would,

  “I guess”, Tay shrugged, “I guess we’d better go get these meds first huh?”

  The two left the trailer, Tay following Billy.

  “I’m not sure about involving you in this shit”, he said, still shouting slightly, “It’s not exactly…”

  Here he whispered, gesturing with his hands,

  “legal, ya know. It’s kind of…quasi-legal, what Winston and I do”

  “Baby”, said Tay warming to Billy slightly, “I’m down with quasi legal. Anything that doesn’t get me shot or in jail again, I’m down with”

  “Jail again huh”, said Billy scrutinising her again,

  “Are you a whore?” he asked.

  “No I am not a motherfucking whore”, she shouted back in his face.

  “Good”, he nodded, “Though it’s not your fault if you are. The way this country treats its women and forces them into role of servitude with the government bullshit and the fucking republicans, nobody could blame you. We’ve bred a whole a race of whores and pimps”

  She smiled as she almost heard Groucho’s paranoia in Billy’s voice.

  “C’mon he said heading for his car, “let’s go get these meds.

  The car was a battered VW beetle, pimped out into a Baja buggy with wide tyres and no suspension. Tay’s short and by now battered dress billowed in the breeze created by Billy’s crazy driving, and showed her white panties.

  “You sure you’re not a whore?” he asked her conspiratorially.

  “Haven’t had sex for four years”, she confirmed airily.

  “Geez”, he explained, “what the fuck happened? You sew your pussy up?”

  “Jail happened”, she said, “My fucking virginity pretty much grew back”.

  He nodded,

  “Mom told me there was a blonde woman out there with green eyes making her way in the world with her blood in her. She figured she’d never know either way . I told her one day, the kid would come home. Kids always do, ya know. Something about roots. Like me, a fucking businessman with an international company, and I live at home with mom.”

  “An international businessman” she asked quizzically.

  “That’s a story for another day”, he said putting finger to his lips and winking, “Quasi legal. Right now we have to get moms meds.”

  As they passed the sign that said “Bowl Valley airfield
”, she wondered where the hell the meds were here.

  “What are we doin?” Taylor asked, puzzled. For the love of god, she was just literally out of jail, ideally she didn’t want to get involved in something risky straight away,

  “We’re getting moms meds, dumbass”, he shouted over the noise of the motor as he revved it, “

  You’re not gonna be one of those big sisters who go to Harvard and are real smart, are ya?”, he asked, “You’re one of those big sisters that has to be chained up to a fire hydrant outside whenever the folks go out so she don’t burn the house down”

  Big sister. She wasn’t used to the words yet. But she liked the idea. Like Billy too. He made her smile. Not a lot of people made Tay smile, and he did, with his intensity and his crazy. Part of Tay loved crazy. She realised that if these were her folks, then Crazy were in her blood,

  “If I’m being chained up outside”, she asked getting out of the car, “then who’s gonna git the meds cos Winston is in a plaster cast”

  “Fucking pussy”, shouted Billy as he went towards a small crop dusting helicopter at the side of the small airfield shack

  “Hey Will”, shouted a voice from the shack, “you taking her up?”

  “Sure””, shouted Billy, “we gotta go pick up moms meds, then I’ll go refuel her.”

  The old man inside the shack waved,

  “That’s Teddy”, he explained, “he works for me, helps me with the business sometimes.”

  “So”, asked Tay, “why the fuck can’t he come help get the meds and I could stay home and get to know my new momma”

  “He’s a fucking pussy too”, said Billy getting in the chopper, “says he’s too old to go jumping outta choppers. Besides, mamma is …strange without her meds. Poor girl gets all strung out, ya know. She’s spent years…ah, she’ll tell you herself.”

  “Just hang on”, said Tay with concern as the chopper lurched into the air, “what d’ya mean ‘jumpin outta choppers’?”

  He turned to her,

  “Well I can’t jump, can I? What a dumb suggestion, who the fucks gonna fly this heap if I’m leaping outta the goddamned pilots seat every five minutes?”

  “I have no parachute”, she said panicking, “what the fuck am I jumping out for”

  “To get the meds, geez you’re a dumb fuck.”

  “Well”, she said cocking her head on one side, “if I knew the plan, then maybe there’d be a chance?”

  He sighed,

  “Ok. The plan. Cops watch the intersection when the pharmacy deliver is coming through. The only place we can stop it is on old Highway 18. Trouble is, they stop cars at the intersections when the delivery is coming, they seem to suspect there’s a meth lab nearby in the hills for some reason. Heh!”

  He laughed at his own joke as the chopper rose higher and made its way across the late afternoon sky, the dust and the desolation seemingly tiny inside the small glass cab of the old helicopter.

  “So we’re doin a robbery?” said Tay exasperated.

  “Well”, I don’t think they’ll sell you the stuff out the side of the van, sweetheart”, he laughed, “It ain’t an ice cream truck. So unless you’ve got the money for mom’s pills…”

  “No”, she said, “I don’t got no money. Cops either seized it or Jack took it all”

  “Who the hells Jack?” he asked, over the noise of the motor

  She didn’t answer. What the fuck was this now? A robbery! Only been out of jail a few days and a fucking robbery already! Still, she reflected, whatever they were going to do, they’d done it before, Winston had apparently been doing it a bit. And it was true, the cops were far less vigilant round here than they were in a city. Places like these were still law of the old west. Plus, she liked Billy. Liked the way he trusted her. After all,, he’d only known her a little while, and already they were falling into the roles of brother and sister like he’d been somehow rehearsing this role for a while, and was just waiting for her to pop back into his life. She suddenly wanted to talk to mom, to find out some facts.

  “You know this jumping out business”, she said hesitantly, “just what the fuck?”

  “Don’t worry about it. Guns there under the seat. Get on the running board, I’ll drop you down onto the roof of the van. Van stops, you get in and take it over the bike trail, past the police checkpoint at the intersection, turn left and onto the access road for the railroad, that brings you straight back to moms. NO cops, nothing.

  “I’m jumping down onto the roof of a fucking van?” she shouted, “this ain’t a movie?”

  “Sure isn’t”, he said, “or else there’d be a guy doing this, not a girl in a dress. Movies, all they do is emphasise the supportive roles that women have been persuaded into these last hundred or so years”

  “What”, she said, dumbfounded,

  “yeah”, he confirmed nodding, “I’m a fucking feminist. Can’t believe it, huh? A hard crazy bastard like me is joining the fight against gender stereotyping in the world.”

  “I think you’re nuts”, she said shaking her head

  “That’s what the navy doctor said”, he agreed, “when they examined me. But you know what, I passed.”

  “You were in the navy”, she asked, somewhat incredulous,

  He nodded,

  “Pilot”, he confirmed, “we bombed the fucking shit of that sand right there in the middle east. We sure showed that fucking sand, yes sir. I felt like that kid at the beach, ya know, kicking all the little kids sandcastles over. Boom. Another hole in the fucking desert”

  “lemme guess”, she said, “you got invalided out on account as how you’re fucking batshit crazy”

  “No”, he replied, “Mom was sick. Had to take care of her.”

  Just then he went quiet.

  “It’s time”, he said, “guns under the seat”.

  She reached under the seat. Her mind was screaming to her not to move, to not do this crazy bullshit, to not get sucked back in, but what the hell else did she have to do? Fuck all, that’s what. And he was family, after all. Grabbing the gun in one hand, and cursing the fact she only had on a light summer dress and flimsy sneakers, she opened the little door of the chopper and pinned it back. The wind buffeted them in the cab.

  Chapter 25. Abandon chopper

  Fuck they were high up. Billy brought the chopper down, and she could see the roof of the panel van. The small fucking roof. Tiny in fact. Not exactly a massive landing pad for a little girl jumping out of a chopper without a parachute for the first time. Juming out of a perfectly good chopper.

  Too late for that now, she was fucking doing this.

  “Part of the family business”

  She smiled. It wasn’t much of a family by some people’s standards, plus her mother was still an unknown quantity, but it was better than she’d had a couple months ago. At least if she ended up back in jail, there would be a few visitors this time. Tay looked back at Billy through the glass and giggled. Perhaps even a breakout attempt.

  She cursed the cheap sneakers she wore that just slid about on the choppers running board, and for a moment considered kicking them off, but she braced her legs and, holding onto the handle, edged her body out. The wind immediately took a hold of her dress and began to whip it up around her knickers. Billy brought the chopper lower. The guys driving the van appeared to notice and gunned the heavy van, not that it would do too much. The rest of the highway was quiet, evening was fast approaching. The chopper came down further, so as to almost rest on the van top. But she couldn’t do it. It was like ten fucking feet away. And she’d probably miss and be killed anyway.

  “Go”, Billie screamed, “I’ve never pilotted this well, ever!”

  She let go the chopper, aiming her body for the top of the van and closed her eyes. Shit shit shit shit shit! She hit the van roof hard. Man, that hurt like fuck! Then realising there was nothing to grip, she flattened herself against the van sides and Billy eased the chopper up. These fuckers were supposed to stop. They hadn�
��t stopped. Fuck. The wind billowed again and brought the little sundress up and over her head showing her pretty white knickers off for all the coyotes in the bowl area to see. Even the coyote that was probably wearing her old jeans and boots. Grabbing the side of the van with her fingertips, she inched her way forwards, still with her body flattened and wrestling with the errant dress. Finally, after what seemed like years, she jumped further down on to the running step and, feeling a surge of adrenalin, flung open the door, grabbed the lapel of the driver and tossed him out. He hadn’t been ready for the sight of a blonde girl with her panties on full display heaving him out the van, and he didn’t fight her. He shouted as he hit the underbrush at the side of the road hard. The van, now driverless, screamed as it fell out of control, and the drivers buddy tried to wrestle control from her,