The Life of Lol

by Andrew Birch

  Tay remembered the pistol Billy had given her.

  “I’m having a really bad day, baby”, she said breathlessly, pointing the gun, “you know how it is when us girls get stomach cramps, and the store was all out so…”

  Taking control of the van, she slammed on the brake hard.

  “Nice night for a walk, baby” she said waving the gun at the door.

  The man nodded, horrified, and got out. Tay gunned the van. What the fuck had that fool Billy said? Bike trail, up the bike trail. After a minute or two, there it was, up on the left, a tight twisting path clearly not designed for a van. Without even slowing, she slewed the van across the intersection, smashing through the wooden gateposts that marked the start of the bike trail and forced the van over the rough terrain. The bike trail, she was later to find out, led over the mountains and back into the city. But, like Tay now found out, the other trail led down to the railroad tracks a few miles north of Western USA trailer park, and back around the other side of the mountain. The trail, or track as it would have been better described, was hard going and bumpy. The noise from the van was not good, and several times she thought it wasn’t going to make it. Down the hill again was the worst, the brakes refusing to respond on the dirt. Tay increasingly felt like a tiny fucking pebble in a rock fall. Finally, with the van virtually breaking up underneath her, there was the Union Pacific railroad track that ran right next to Billy’s trailer park. She found the access road that ran straight along the track and gunned the van. Man, that was easy. Aside from a slightly grazed knee and some bumps and bruises, Tay felt great. What a rush! That was real fucking easy. And know what was better? It was for the family business. Her family. Billy was waiting for her at the trailer when the van arrived, wheezing and groaning, and there was Winston, with his plaster cast, ready to take the van away and dispose of the contents of meds and pills. He smiled at her,

  “Guess my replacement’s prettier than me, huh? Hi Taylor.”

  He held out his hand, a warm smile on his face,

  “Your jobs safe baby”, she said rubbing her bruised body, “Hell I need danger money to work for this fool”

  “Gratitude for ya, huh Winston”, shouted across Billy, “a good business opportunity, treated like an equal instead of leaving her at home barefoot in the kitchen like the convention says I should do, and what does she do? Bitch and moan!”

  “You gonna stick around honey”, said Winston still smiling at her, “time was around here, your momma never stopped talking about you”

  “Winston”, said Billy, stopping him, “that’s between the two of them. Let’s leave em to it, huh?”

  Winston nodded,

  “Good to meet you, Taylor”, he said with one last smile on his old lined face, “see ya round.”

  Chapter 26. Homecoming

  At first she panicked. Wonder where the fuck I am, she thought as she woke. Then she remembered. The meds. The van. Billy. Her mom. That word. Mom. Easing her aching body from off the floor where she had slept, she stood. This had at one time been the spare room of the trailer. Now there was just cleaning products and boxes in it, plus the blanket Tay had covered herself with as she slept, still in her clothes. She stood and tentatively opened the door.

  What the fuck?

  It was like Little House on the prairie. The woman who was apparently Tay’s mom had gutted the van, and made everything tidy and clean. Sure it was still shabby, but it was clean shabby and not fleapit shabby. The carpets had been swept, the tables and worktops had been cleaned off and the rubbish bagged up and put in the trash outside. Tay stumbled outside her little room,

  “I don’t remember ordering Martha fucking Stewart” she muttered.

  The older woman looked at Taylor for a long time, up and down, her eyes an inscrutable mask,

  “Just like your brother”, she said shaking her head, “no manners or decency. You know how old these carpets are in here?”

  Tay didn’t, but remained quiet. She’d expected questions, but not that one in particular. She stood there.

  “Twenty years”, said the woman, “Billy is just the same, trampling in here with those boots of his. No wonder I need medication. Here's the rule, guns, shoes and curse words get left outside.”

  Tay kicked the sneakers off and threw them in the direction of the closet that had become her room.”

  “Don’t you even have socks?” asked mom looking pointedly at Tay’s bare feet, “or a change of clothes?”

  Tay shook her head. Still her mom looked at her

  “I got this”, said Tay helpfully, showing her the envelope that Solomon had given her. Mom looked at it and nodded when she read the information inside.

  “Then there’s no question”, she said, standing there watching her daughter, “Come sit.”

  The two sat together. Mom seemed a little shell shocked, and neither woman made a move to be close to each other. Tay didn’t know what to think. In some ways, this woman had already begun being mom to her, but there was still a part of her that was closed off.

  “I was barely twenty”, explained the older woman, “Somewhat against my father’s wishes, a friend and I had hitch hiked to a music festival in San Francisco. We ended up stranded on our way back. I met this guy, and we….”

  “My father”, asked Tay quietly.

  She nodded,

  “Harlan was a Navy Officer”, the older woman explained, ready for retirement. In his forties. I think he was on leave. Anyway, I went home and found I was pregnant.”

  The woman’s eyes glistened slightly, and for the first time, she put a shaky hand out and placed it on Taylor’s grazed knee. She held it there, squeezing slightly as if to make sure Tay was real.

  “My parents were old school. Couldn’t stand the disgrace I’d brought on them. I had my baby, and was a virtual prisoner in our family home. Nevertheless, your father found us and said he had one more tour to do, then he was going to set up home with his new family. Had a smart trailer for us to live in right here.”

  She gestured around the trailer with her hand.

  “I lived here?” asked Tay quietly, longing to fling her arms round this woman already, but she did not.

  “No honey”, she said, you never lived here. Last night was the first time you slept here. That’s why I wanted you to wake and it would look like it used to look”

  “What happened”, Tay asked.

  The older woman sighed,=. It was a deep sigh, one that had been building up for years.

  “I’m sorry”, she explained, “this is hard. I’d pushed this memory away so long ago, save myself from going insane. It didn’t work, the amount of meds I need Billy to get me is proof enough. I explained to my father that I was going to shack up with my navy guy, and at first he went ballistic. But then he came around to the idea. After all, he said, a baby needs a mom and a dad, not just a mom locked in her room all the time. So I left you with my dad and mom, while I went to look over the trailer and move some of my things in. It was real smart in those days. Harlan and I were branching out on our own. It was exciting. Then I went back to the house.”

  She gripped Tay’s knee harder, her eyes beginning to moisten.

  “I never thought I would get to do this”, she said stroking Tay’s knee.”

  Tay turned to face her mom, holding both her hands in her own,

  “I’m here momma”, she said, “whatever happened, it’s gone, it’s past. I’m here now”

  “I got home”, mom continued shakily, “and you were gone. Some adoption agency, my father said. Best for all concerned, so he’d said. What life was I going to have, stuck in a trailer park with a kid at my age and no career and an unemployed ex-military guy in tow. So you were gone. He’d left your toys right there in my room, all your little shawls and clothes, your favourite teddy. But you, my little precious thing, were gone.”

  Moms voice was shaky now but she continued, as if she’d rehearsed this speech in her head for years,

  “I never went h
ome again”, she explained, “fuck them. I never forgave that judgmental bastard for taking the thing away from me that gave my life a spark. I looked around this shell of a home, the home that would never see the little green eyed one crawling around inside, learning about the world from off her mommas knee, and having cuddles when she fell off her trike outside”

  “Had a trike when I was a kid”, muttered Tay, “They used to kick me into the dirt”

  “I would sit here”, struggled mom, “and hug my pillow imagining that it was my little baby Olivia crying over a grazed knee. She ran her finger gently over Tay’s knee.

  “Anyway, Harland came home from the navy, but it wasn’t the same. I got pregnant again, with Billy, sometimes I swear that boy was dropped on his head, but he’s cared for me so. From before he could walk, we were combing the city, I knocked on every fucking door in every street, Billy did too, but my little green eyed bouncing one had gone. Dad had seen to that. The old bastard would never tell me. Eventually, your dad’s mind just couldn’t take it, his little precious girl gone. He blamed himself and that last tour of duty. I think he blamed the sea itself. His mind snapped and he just left one afternoon. Never saw him again. You might have noticed, but I don’t leave the trailer so much these days. Billy gets the stuff I need, or I shop online, it’s hard. Every blonde woman that walks by me in the street, I never knew.”

  Tay was quiet, and held her mom’s shaking hands,

  “And now here you are”, she said sadly, “My little green eyed cuddly. You’re too big to need a mom any more, I guess. But just seeing you here has made my whole life feel like it was worth something again.”

  Tay thought for a moment,

  “I ain’t never had a momma”, she said quietly, “so I dunno if I’m too big or not. But I can tell ya this. That piece of shit father of yours that took me away from you, made me live in that home and have the life I’ve had, instead of the one here with my mom and dad, he’s not gonna spoil any more of my days. I got my mom back.”

  Mom smiled through the tears,

  “I’m going nowhere”, Tay said, “I come home, momma”

  The two hugged. Tay had always wondered what a hug from a mother felt like. Now she knew. It was like nothing else in the world. It was a hug from someone who would, and in her case had, given up everything in the world for her. It didn’t matter at that moment that they’d spent thirty five years apart, now they were together.

  Mom smiled,

  “My Olivia has come home”, she said her face beaming, “I said that in my head so many times to an empty trailer, and now you’re here. You’re really here.”

  “I’m staying”, laughed Taylor, “somebody’s gotta keep Billy in order”

  Mom smiled,

  “Besides”, she laughed, hugging her daughter, “if you try to leave we’ll just do what we used to do to the babies that ran off across the highway”

  “What you do to the babies?” asked Tay slightly worried, rubbing her sore knee.

  “Aw it’s an old woman’s thing”, laughed mom, “smear their feet with jam, and let em go. If the sharp stones sticking to their feet don’t bring em back, the flies biting them will”

  Tay laughed, mocking a horrified look,

  “You wouldn’t do that to me?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

  “I have the jam right her” laughed mom, getting up, “c’mon, let me take a look at that knee before Billy has you bruising something else”

  Chapter 27. Building

  A few days later, and Josh was only halfway done. It was only a small contract, but every little helped. Josh had never been any good at school, and so, he did the only thing he was good at. Figuring that he’d always done chores in the garden for dad, raking leaves and cutting bushes and the suchlike, he set up his own business. Josh’s mother had died a few years later, and with his dad on the road a lot as a trucker, Josh managed to scrape enough together for a little apartment in Bowl towns district, in particular at the side of Kenny’s kebab emporium in the centre of the hamlet of Rathsburg, only a few moments from the Ventura highway that ran all the way into LA. It was a tiny one bedroom place with an outside staircase that was covered only with a dirty Perspex screen. Inside was the typical male pad. Nothing fancy, but it was all he could afford. He was a good gardener, but business around here was slow, and he just couldn’t afford to move to LA. And so he just survived. This particular lunch time, was leaning on the bonnet of his pick up taking a break, while at the same time filling in the insurance document for the small truck that was his sole vehicle. Complaining to himself at how costly the premiums were for a small businessman, he was startled to hear a sudden commotion from near the Klondike’s Burger bar and grill a little further up the street near the intersection. He looked up as he heard shouting, and he saw a blonde woman running his way as fast as her legs could carry her. A holdall bounced around at the side of her. In the distance came a siren. The girl approached him as she suddenly heard the siren

  “shit shit shit shit shit”, he heard her curse.

  The sirens grew louder. A few patrons had come to the door of the Klondike Burger bar and grill, but she was now too far from the door. She approached him, and he could see the open holdall was stuffed with money and what looked like purses.

  “Hi sugar pie”, she said smiling, “I’m just gonna hide out in the back of your truck for a while. Just act like I ain’t here, ok baby?”

  “What”, shouted Josh, “No. Hell with that! I’m not harbouring robbers!”

  “That’s slander, baby”, she said with a mock look of hurt in her voice, “innocent until proven guilty, that’s the way it is in this great land of ours”

  “The moneys in your fucking bag!” he said pointing, as she shimmied down among a tarpaulin.

  “Ah”, she said crestfallen, “I guess it doesn’t look good, does it. Would it help if I said I had six orphans to look after, and if you tip their momma into the cops, they’ll starve?”

  “If you’re their momma, then they’re not orphans”, he returned, a smile on his face.

  “You just think of everything don’t ya”, she said, “look, I have this wicked evil stepfather who makes me do all the chores all the time, and I’m just trying to earn enough to get away from him”

  “Earn?” he said, “how is robbing a restaurant earning?”

  “It’s not exactly a robbery”, she explained, “more like a hold up.”

  At that moment, the cops came running down the street towards Josh.

  “I bet you haven’t earned a cent in your life”, he hissed.

  “Fine”, she said, just don’t tell on me. I’ll do whatever ya want.”

  “Hmm”, he said, the cops coming closer, “work for me. I have this job to finish in town with the gardens. Ten dollars a day”

  “That’s slave labour, baby”, she exclaimed.

  “Enjoy jail”, he whispered, a twinkle in his eye. Christ knew why, but he liked this girl. Liked seeing her squirm. She seemed like fun. He thought of his last girlfriend Christina and her serious demeanour. Always keeping up appearances and trying to better themselves. This woman seemed like a whole different world.

  “Fine” she hissed, “I’ll work for ya, finish this damn job, but if it kills me, then you get to pay for my funeral. And I want horses and a glass carriage and…”

  “Shaddap”, he hissed.

  “Hiding under the tarp, she began to think of a witty rejoinder, but stopped in her track as she heard the cops voice,

  “Haven’t seen anyone like that sir, sorry”, Josh’s voice said.

  After a few moments, he pulled the tarp back and she smiled at him, sticking out her tongue playfully,

  “Nicely done, baby”, she said sweetly, “I guess I owe ya”

  “Yeah”, he said, “two days labour”.

  She grimaced,

  “I’m not really built for that sort of thing”, she said miserably, “whatcha got here?”

  She grabbed
his insurance document,

  “Hey leave that”, he said, I have to fill that in, tell them how much I can’t afford to pay them.”

  She grabbed his pen, and began to fill the form in,

  “Hey”, he shouted again, “what did I just say?”

  “You said ‘please just let me be a pussy and do whatever the government says I should you’. Well, I owe ya, and so I’m gonna show you something real smart”

  She showed him what she’d filled in on the form.

  “Failure to fill these forms out properly is a felony”, he exclaimed.

  “yeah baby, I know”, she said, “I know all about felonies. Here’s the thing, the guy who works at the DMV hates his boss, cos his boss is screwing this twenty year old girl and he’s like ‘why the fuck doesn’t my luck run like that?’. Anyway, he thinks ‘screw this, I won’t do my job properly, fuck him. I’ll just put all these forms through and not look at any of them’.

  “I’m not committing a felony” Josh stated.

  “Well here’s the thing baby”, she said. I owed you. And so I just showed you a way to save yourself five hundred dollars. Now seeing as I’m a nice generous sort of girl, I’m only asking half the money back in return. You hand this in today, say around four pm when old Charlie at the DMV is ready to be going home and you’ll be as high and dry as a sperm whale in the arizona noon day sun. I’ll see ya tomorrow for my share.”

  “I’m not doing this”, Josh said again.

  “Well then that’s a problem, cos I guess now you owe me two hundred and fifty bucks. I’ll see ya tomorrow anyway”

  And with that, the girl slung her holdall over her shoulder and walked off down the street,

  “You don’t know where I live”, he yelled at her disappearing form,

  “Written on the van, baby”, she shouted back without turning her head.

  Of course it was. What a dumb fuck he was. What the hell was he gonna do now. Had the crazy bitch been joking? He supposed not, after all she’d just held up a diner in a robbery. The cops were still swarming all over the place, and he wondered just how she’d slipped away so completely. What the hell was he gonna do now. Commit the fraud like she’d written on the insurance form, or just ask dad for two hundred and fifty bucks in case she did show up. If she didn’t, he could always pay dad back.