Restrained

by Nicole Dykes

  I take a moment for myself, something I never do, and lean back against his strong chest. “I don’t want to.”

  I turn in his arms to face him, looking up at his handsome face. “You had something to tell me?”

  I watch his throat as he swallows, and then he shakes his head, leaning down to kiss the tip of my nose. “No. It can wait.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and tilt his head down to look into his beautiful eyes and look straight into his soul. They give a lot away even though he seems hard on the outside. His eyes say so many things. My gaze sweeps over cheekbones male models would kill for and a perfectly straight nose with the exception of a very slight bump I just noticed. “Are you sure?”

  His smile is lopsided as his eyes land on my lips. “I mean I’d love for you to stay.” His lips sweep across mine. “But not so we can talk.”

  I laugh against his lips and brush a light kiss over them. “I’d much rather be here with you.”

  He kisses me, pulling my body to his, making me feel safe and protected in a way I've never felt and didn’t even know I wanted until now. He doesn’t let go, and it feels good to be swept up in him as his lips hold mine captive.

  But all good things must end. I can feel his reluctance to let me go as we slowly part and he growls, his lips still close to mine. “Go see your family, but tomorrow, you’re mine.”

  I thought I’d hate the possessive alpha male shit.

  I was wrong. My thighs clench together, and all I want to do is climb in his bed and let him do whatever the hell he wants to do to me.

  “Tomorrow.”

  He kisses me, and I smile, going into the bathroom to fix my hair and lipstick, tucking my shirt in. He walks me to my car and gives me one last kiss to again mess up my cherry red lipstick and steal most of it.

  He stands in the driveway as I back my car out and begrudgingly drive to my beach house, seeing my mom’s car in the driveway.

  When I walk inside, Baz greets me happily shouting, “Aunt Lola! Aunt Lola! Uncle Asher is here! And Uncle Linc! And Aunt P! And Grandma and Grandpa!”

  I laugh as the little guy jumps up and down excitedly and Vivienne stands behind him, a great big smile on her face at his happiness.

  I look down at Baz, who I swear has grown a foot in the short time he’s been here. “I know, buddy. Are you excited?”

  “Yes! Excited!” He jumps around the living room and then runs off to the kitchen. I hear a “humph” sound and then moments later, see Baz is wrapped around Asher’s neck, riding on his back. I’m guessing that sound was Baz jumping on him.

  “Hey, Ash.”

  He holds onto Baz and nods. “Hey. Dinner’s almost done. Where the hell have you been?”

  “Working.”

  Vivienne eyes me with a slight smile, but she doesn’t say a word.

  Asher doesn't seem to pick up on anything out of the ordinary as he turns and carries Baz out of the room. I walk to Viv, keeping my voice low. “Are you okay?”

  She nods her head, but I can tell she’s unsure. “Baz is happy.”

  “Has he been an ass?”

  She shakes her head, a tiny smile on her lips. “He hasn’t said anything to me.”

  I wrap an arm around her, and she lays her head on my shoulder. “So, yes.”

  I hear her quiet laugh before she changes the subject. “So, working huh?” She lifts her head and grins.

  “Come on. Let’s get dinner,” I laugh as we walk into the kitchen together where I greet everyone else.

  Dinner is weirdly quiet. I expected at least one outburst from my brother, but he mostly just keeps his attention to Baz, who couldn’t be happier having Asher by his side at dinner. After we finish eating, Penelope, Viv, and I head out to the backyard while everyone else stays inside to play with Baz.

  We’re all lying in our own lounge chairs, wine in our hands, and looking up at the stars in the dark sky. I’m in the middle, when Penelope turns to look at Viv over me. “Baz was sure happy tonight.”

  I can feel Vivienne’s pain and internal struggle from beside her, but she just smiles. “Yeah, he loves Asher so much.”

  Penelope nods. “The feeling is definitely mutual.”

  Vivienne continues looking up at the sky, her voice soft. “I told Asher he can have the whole day tomorrow with Baz.”

  No matter how she feels about my brother or the shit they put each other through, she’ll always put her son first. “They’ll both like that.” I smile, looking up at the sky with her.

  “So, does that mean you’re spending the day with Sawyer then? Having some much-needed orgasms?”

  Of course, Penelope asks that question. I roll my eyes, smiling at my best friend’s question, and again, but I feel tension coming from Viv. “I’m not sure what I'm going to do while they have a boys’ day.”

  “Please tell me, that you’ve let that boy into your pants.” I turn to Penelope, shaking my head, and she laughs. “What? I love Asher as much as anybody, but he had a chance. We all can’t be sexual camels like you, my dear friend.”

  Vivienne laughs at that, and I turn to look at her. “Last time I defend you.”

  She laughs again, and so do I as I look back up at the sky. “I actually agree with Penelope though. I think Sawyer really cares about you.”

  The snort from Viv is not what I was expecting. “He likes the chase. The thrill.”

  I turn to look at her now. “You really believe that?”

  She shrugs her small shoulders, turning her head to look at me. “Yes because he’s like me.”

  “I used to think Linc was like that too.” We both turn to Penelope as her head tilts toward us. “But it was bullshit. It was love, and I’m glad I finally let him catch me.”

  I smile happily at her, so happy they’re settled. “Me. Too.” I turn back to Viv. “And Sawyer is a player and an asshole, but he cares.”

  “We’re friends,” she confirms what Sawyer told me.

  “Friends who bang.” Penelope grins.

  Vivienne is clearly tired of talking about this and shifts the conversation to me. “So how is work going, Lola?”

  She smirks into her wineglass, and I casually flip her off so Penelope can’t see it. Vivienne laughs, but Penelope picks up on her precarious tone. “Did something happen with Hayden?”

  I was going to tell her anyway. Might as well. “We had sex.”

  “What?” Penelope jumps to a fully sitting position in her lounge chair to turn to look at me. “You had sex with a client? You? Lola fucking Sterling?”

  “Penelope,” my tone says stop, but my best friend couldn’t care less.

  “Tell me everything. I mean, my God, the dry spell has ended!”

  I roll my eyes, and Viv laughs. “Oh good. So, she knew about the whole virgin thing.”

  She takes another drink of her wine, and I freeze. No. She didn’t. I turn to face only Penelope as she processes that information. “What?” She looks confused. “Hayden was a virgin?”

  “Oh shit.” That comes from the other side. “I’m sorry, Lola.”

  Penelope’s eyes connect with mine. “You?”

  I feel guilty when I see the hurt in my best friend’s blue eyes, but don’t have time to say anything before Asher appears through the patio door. “Sorry to interrupt girl time, but Baz wants you to tuck him in, Viv.”

  She nods, her hand brushing over my arm as she stands up. “I’m sorry.”

  I laugh and brush off her apology because there’s no need. To me, we’re sisters, and sisters tell each other’s secrets sometimes. “It’s not a big deal. Give my nephew a kiss from me.”

  She still looks horrified as she walks inside with Ash, and I cringe, thinking about them spending any time alone together with emotions still clearly high.

  “Not a big fucking deal?”

  I take a deep breath and turn back to Penelope. “It’s really not.”

  “How the hell did I not know this? We’ve been friends for years and years an
d you never told me?” She stops, looking guilty. “Or I've been that self-involved that I never asked.”

  She’s given me a hard time about getting out and dating, but I'm sure she assumed I’ve had sex with someone over the years. “I didn't’ tell you because I didn’t want it to be a big deal. I just didn’t want pressure to sleep with someone.”

  She seems to think that over. “I get that. And I'm an asshole so I probably would have.”

  I laugh. “No doubt.”

  Her shoulders shake with laughter as she leans back in her chair. “You bitch. I can’t believe you never told me. And with a client?”

  “Yeah. Hayden, but I don’t know what any of it means.”

  She rolls to her side, propping her head on her hand. “Was it more than once?”

  I nod. “Yes.” I bite my bottom lip, thinking about every encounter. “It’s like I’m addicted. Even now I want to be in his arms. I’ve never felt like this before.”

  Her smile is bright and brings attention to her dark blue eyes. “That’s great, Lola. I’ve never seen you light up like that before.”

  “Yeah.” I stare into her eyes, eyes I've known for years.

  “So, is it just sex? Or have you guys had those intense, crazy talks in between where you learn everything about the person?”

  I’m lost in the golden flecks in her eyes. “Ummm . . .He’s kind of a mystery, but we’ve talked. He’s even from Kansas City.”

  “Huh. That’s kind of a crazy coincidence.”

  Is it? I stare into her eyes. “Your eyes have gold flecks in them.”

  “What?” Her eyebrow quirks up. “They do?”

  I nod dumbly. “Yes. How have I never noticed that before? I just thought they were blue.”

  She wags her eyebrows jokingly at me. “Maybe you just haven’t spent enough time looking into my eyes.”

  She’s being playful, but I'm starting to feel sick as I sit up, my hands gripping the edge of the chair, causing her to sit up and face me, our knees touching. “What’s wrong? Lola, it’s probably the patio light or something fucking up the way my eyes look. It’s okay.”

  I shake my head and look at her high cheekbones and then her nose. “Your nose.”

  “What about my nose?” She looks really freaked out as she stares at me, and my eye stay fixed on her perfectly straight nose.

  “There’s a bump.”

  Her eyebrows pinch together. “No there isn’t.”

  “Yes. There is.” I stare at the tiny, almost completely insignificant bump on the bridge of her nose, one I've never even noticed before. Not until it identically matched another nose I saw earlier today.

  One of a total liar.

  “Lola, you’re freaking me the fuck out. What is going on?”

  I stand up. “I have to go and see Hayden.”

  “What?” She stands to face me, looking concerned. “You’re acting weird because you need to get laid?”

  I shake my head, the nauseous feeling coming back. “No. I’ll see you tomorrow. I have to go.”

  I leave her there confused and probably annoyed, but I don’t care. I’m in my car and driving toward Hayden’s house before anyone can stop me.

  Because now I'm on a mission.

  The doorbell rings through my house and I glance at the clock, seeing it’s ten o’clock at night. I’m not expecting anyone, and I'm certain it’s not about business. My lips quirk into a sly smile as I make my way from my office toward the front door, hoping it’s Lola.

  I don’t bother to tug on a shirt, having been about to go to bed and wearing only black sweats. I smirk, seeing Lola through the glass, standing on the other side of my front door and pull it open. “I thought we said tomorrow.” She’s still dressed in the same skirt and blouse she had on earlier. My eyes trail from her heels up to her face. “But I'm definitely okay with this too.”

  Her hair is down, and her eyes are desperately searching mine with an expression that sends chills through me. She seems almost breathless, her lips parted as she stares.

  “Lola? What’s wrong?”

  “You.”

  I swallow the bile that rises in my throat. “What?”

  Her gaze stays glued to my face. “You’re Penelope’s brother? Or at least related to her?”

  Shit. No. “Lola . . .” I start and see the anger and hurt in her eyes. I reach for her hand, but she instantly jerks away.

  “Answer me.”

  “Come inside.” I want to touch her, to calm her down, to plead with her to understand.

  She folds her arms, staying put on the stoop outside my house. “No. Answer me, Hayden.” She closes her eyes briefly, and then they flutter open, landing on mine. “Are you related to Penelope?”

  No more lies. “Yes.”

  She looks like she’s going to be sick, and I want to hold her, but I don’t touch her. “Who are you?”

  I look in her eyes, begging for forgiveness for keeping this from her. “I’m her brother.”

  I think she’s going to slap me. I’d deserve it. But what I didn’t expect from the tiny, ultra-refined blond was for her fist to ball up and sock me right in the eye. Hard. I’ve been hit by a lot of men, and she packs a punch.

  My hand flies over my eyes, but other than that I don’t move while she remains in place, furious. Her breathing is rapid as she shakes her right hand that has to be on fire. “How could you not tell me that?” She grits her teeth. “How?”

  I drop my hand to the side, my eye already swelling. My jaw ticks with anger. Not necessarily at Lola, but at the whole fucked-up situation.

  Thank you, life, for fucking me once again.

  “I didn’t fucking know you. What was I supposed to say, Lola?”

  “How about when we first met at the coffee shop instead of the line of bullshit you fed me? You could have said, ‘I know Penelope. We share DNA.’”

  I growl, thinking about that day, being taken by Lola and her throwing off my plan of getting to know my sister. “I wanted to know who she was first.”

  She shakes her head. “That’s why you hired us? It was all a scheme.”

  “No.”

  “Bullshit, Hayden. You made me look like a fool.”

  “It wasn’t about you.” And it wasn’t. Lola was a curveball, something I should be used to but didn’t see coming.

  “Right. It was all to trick Penelope. What do you want from her?”

  “Nothing.”

  She moves closer to me, her chin tipped up, fire burning fiercely in her eyes as she glares at me. “If you hurt her, so help me. I’ll cut your balls off and toss them into the ocean.”

  Jesus. A threat shouldn’t be so fucking hot. “I don’t want to hurt her.” I can smell her honey and lavender scent. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “She’s my best friend. You lied to us both.” Her chin trembles. “You slept with me.”

  “That had nothing to do with it.”

  “No? It wasn’t just to get closer to her?” She’s searching again. “Your taking of my virginity was just part of a fucking scheme.”

  Her teeth are clenched again, but now I’m pissed. How the fuck can she think that? “We didn’t know each other. You didn’t fucking tell me the truth either, remember?”

  She winces but only slightly. “Fine. I didn’t tell you that I’d never had sex before I gave it up to you. And you’ve lied to me since day one about your identity. Totally the same thing.”

  “The two have nothing to do with each other, Lola. I was attracted to you from that first day, but I didn’t know you enough to confide in you.” My hand wraps around her waist, and I chance pulling her body closer to mine. “When we had sex, I thought it was a hot hookup with a pain in the ass I was working with. Not defiling a fucking virgin.”

  She shoves me away with her hand on my chest. “Fuck you and your defiling. Fine. I didn’t tell you about being a virgin because I wanted you in that moment and I didn’t want to have a very awkward, very personal conversatio
n. And you didn’t tell me you were Penelope’s brother for pretty much the same reason.”

  This has to be a trick leading to my downfall. “Yes.”

  She doesn’t cross the threshold of my house, but she’s right at the line as she edges closer to my body. “But every time after? After we told each other so many personal things and shared our bodies with each other? You still didn’t tell me.”

  “I was trying to find a way.”

  “Yeah, well sticking your dick in me was definitely not it.”

  I cringe, knowing everything we had, whatever it was, is now gone. She isn’t going to look at me the same way.

  “It was sex, Lola. It had nothing to do with the fact that I’m related to Penelope.”

  “Even you don’t believe that, Hayden. You know it was a betrayal. Every touch. Every kiss. Every single pleasure filled moan . . .” Her eyes are deadly serious, and I feel a loss greater than any I've ever experienced. “It was all a lie.”

  “Lola, you’re a smart woman. Come inside and we can talk about it. I’ll tell you everything.” I reach for her hand, and again, she pulls away from me.

  “No.” She raises her hands, and I see tears in her eyes that threaten to kill me. “I need . . .” She puffs angry air from her mouth, and I see her shoulders tremble with anger and sadness. Her eyes linger on my swelling left eye. “I have to go.”

  “Don’t.” I’ve never begged anyone in my life, but I hear it in my voice. That’s exactly what I'm doing.

  But it doesn’t work. She turns and leaves, her heels clicking on my driveway as she runs to her car.

  I watch her leave, wondering if this is the last time I’ll ever see her. I’ve had so many people leave in my life. I’ve left a lot of people behind.

  But it’s never felt as bad as this.

  I’m so angry I'm shaking as I pull into my drive, not even pulling into the garage. I climb out of my car and walk into the back of my house.

  I should be surprised to see Penelope and Linc right outside of my property line on the beach, sitting together in the sand and looking out at the ocean.

  Penelope must hear me approach because she turns. “Lola. Thank fuck. What is going on?”