Death of a Lobster Lover

by Lee Hollis

  “Just keeping it real, as the kids say,” Hayley said.

  “They don’t say that anymore, Hayley. You’re about five years behind the times,” Liddy said.

  “Thank you for reminding me just how out of touch I am, Liddy,” Hayley said, annoyed.

  Suddenly a scream flew out of Liddy’s mouth, startling Hayley and Mona.

  “Liddy, what’s wrong?”

  “That’s my makeup bag on the floor. I must have been in such a rush to leave this place I forgot to pack it! I knew I left something behind!” she cried, still clutching the doorframe and refusing to come all the way inside the cabin. “Mona, would you mind picking up my lipstick over there and putting it back in my makeup bag, oh, and I see my mascara in the corner, it’s very expensive, I bought it in Spain, and I don’t want some rat running off with it!”

  “I am not your housemaid, Liddy! Why don’t you come in here and pick up your own junk?” Mona bellowed.

  “I can’t,” Liddy said quietly.

  “Why not?” Mona asked, throwing her arms up in the air.

  “I . . . I’m . . . s-scared,” Liddy stammered.

  Hayley walked over to Liddy and took her gently by the arm. “It’s okay, honey. I know it’s a shock to come back here and find the cabin looted.”

  “Looted? It doesn’t look like they actually took anything, I mean, seriously, what kind of thief wouldn’t bother to take imported mascara from Spain?” Liddy scoffed.

  “A thief who doesn’t give a whit about your stupid expensive makeup!” Mona yelled.

  “It’s not like you have to worry about someone stealing anything of yours, Mona,” Liddy sniffed. “You own nothing of real value, least of all that ridiculous sweatshirt you insist on wearing to bed that belongs to your husband, the one with the picture of a lobster and the phrase, ‘Just looking for a good piece of tail!’”

  Mona chuckled. “He loves that sweatshirt. He’d kill me if he found out I took it from his drawer and brought it with me. But it’s just so comfy.”

  “Well, when you wear it, it sends an entirely different message,” Liddy reminded her.

  Mona’s eyes went wide. “Damn! You’re right. I never thought about that!”

  “Liddy, whoever broke in here is clearly gone, so there is no reason for you to be afraid anymore. It is perfectly safe now,” Hayley said.

  “You really think so?” Liddy said, eyes darting around the cabin.

  “Look around. It is just the three of us, and if it makes you feel any better, Mona and I will take turns staying up tonight to keep watch just to make sure no one tries to come back,” Hayley assured her.

  “Okay,” Liddy said, before slowly, hesitantly, with Hayley’s help, stepping inside the cabin.

  Mona marched past her and outside to the car to carry their bags back inside since it looked like they were going to be stuck in Salmon Cove at least one more night, if not more. She came in struggling with Liddy’s luxurious four-wheeled Louis Vuitton suitcase with cowhide leather trim.

  “Thanks, Mona, you can just put them over by the closet,” Liddy said.

  “You do it! I got at least two more loads in the trunk I’ve got to get in here,” Mona growled, walking back outside.

  Liddy sighed, and pulled the suitcase by the handle over to the closet before setting it down on the floor and unzipping it. “I want to hang a few of my tops so they don’t get more wrinkled than they already are from being packed in here all night!”

  She removed one red silk number from the suitcase, stood up, and opened the closet door while Hayley grabbed a broom and began sweeping up the broken glass on the floor.

  As Liddy absentmindedly reached for a hanger, her eyes suddenly went wide and she let out a bloodcurdling scream, which caused Hayley to jump.

  A large man, over six feet, in a black T-shirt and jeans and wearing a nylon stocking mask over his face, lunged out of the closet and wrapped his hands around Liddy’s throat. He shoved her forward as Hayley watched in shock before coming to her senses and rushing over to help her friend by pummeling him on the back with the edge of the broom handle.

  Hearing the screams from outside, Mona rushed back from the car, appearing in the doorway, shocked to see Hayley frantically buffeting a man over the head with a broom as Liddy’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as he squeezed his giant hands around her throat!

  Mona sprang into action, and raced over to them, leaping onto the man’s back and getting him into a chokehold.

  He was big and strong, but quickly got spooked by the all-out assault. He released his grip on Liddy’s neck and tossed her aside, catapulting her halfway across the room. She smacked face-first into the battered and dusty icebox, before slumping to the floor, dazed.

  Mona kept her arm fastened tightly around the robber’s neck, and he stumbled, as she squeezed tighter, cutting off his oxygen supply. This just made him madder and more determined to shake her off before he got too light-headed and passed out. Meanwhile, Hayley kept up the blows with the broom handle, whacking his arms and legs.

  The assailant jerked his body back toward the wall, slamming Mona against it, one, two, three times, hoping to dislodge her. But Mona was in the zone, hooting and screaming like a mother gorilla protecting her young.

  But on the fourth try, he gave it his all, and the impact knocked the air out of Mona, and she stopped hollering, and let go. She fell to the floor, but managed to reach out and grab the man by the foot as he tried to run.

  Hayley aimed for his groin, but he anticipated the move and threw his hands out in front of it and grabbed the broom handle, wrenching it from Hayley’s grasp. He then wielded it like a baseball bat and bashed the side of Hayley’s head. She saw stars and stumbled back, maintaining her balance but disoriented.

  The man, in one final violent act, used his free foot to swing it around and kick Mona in the face. Blood spurted from her nose and she instinctively let go of him and covered her face to avoid any further blows.

  The masked man bolted out the door and disappeared into the woods.

  Hayley raced over to Mona, who waved her away. “I’m fine. It’s just a nosebleed.”

  “Liddy? Liddy?” Hayley shouted, jumping over the debris on the floor to get to her friend, who had crawled to her knees, a hand pressed over her forehead.

  She glared at Hayley.

  “It is okay to come in, Liddy! It is perfectly safe, Liddy! Don’t be afraid, Liddy!” Liddy yelled, mocking Hayley’s reassuring tone.

  Hayley had an overwhelming sense of relief. As long as Liddy was giving her a hard time, that meant she was not seriously hurt.

  But Liddy had been right about one thing.

  There was no reason to feel safe in Salmon Cove anymore.

  Island Food & Spirits by Hayley Powell

  Part Two

  The best summer camp week of my life turned into one giant epic fail after the sudden and surprise arrival of Sabrina Merryweather on the scene at Camp Pine Tree. It started on a rainy Monday when we were stuck in our cabin during a downpour, and I decided to cheer up my fellow cabinmates by sharing my weekly care package from my mother including her delicious, gooey, can’t-miss homemade brownies. I was a hero to the girls for approximately two minutes until Sabrina presented us with her own care package from her parents—a large cooler stocked with chilled containers of fresh lobster dip and boxes of expensive gourmet crackers! She began handing them out to her fellow campers to dramatic “ooohs” and “ahhhs.”

  Seriously? Fresh lobster dip?

  How could my mother’s brownies compete with that?

  One point, Sabrina! And me? A big fat zero!

  It was all downhill from there.

  Any activity I signed up for like archery, or swimming, arts and crafts, whatever it was, Sabrina signed up too and made it her personal mission to outscore me or, outswim me, or simply make me look bad. The adorable finger puppet I made from chenille stems and feathers paled in comparison to her detailed diorama of the JFK
assassination made from a cardboard box, crepe paper, and Legos.

  The final straw was on Wednesday when I showed up late at the dining hall because I had to talk my brother, Randy, out of mailing our mother yet another note threatening suicide if she didn’t come pick up him up ASAP. I strolled into the hall and stopped in my tracks, my face contorting into a mask of horror when I saw Sabrina sitting in my usual spot at the dining table right next to my camp crush, Nate Hall, who stared at her like a lovesick puppy, hanging on to every word that was pouring out of her big, fat mouth! In fact, the whole table of diners were enthralled with whatever story she was spinning at that moment. She glanced over at me in mid-sentence, smiled and winked at me, and then turned her attention back to Nate, who as of that moment, was Sabrina’s new summer camp crush!

  I was hurt and humiliated and I ran back to the cabin, threw myself on my bunk, cried into my pillow, and then pretended to be fast asleep when everyone came back to the cabin at curfew.

  Sabrina was giggling as she entered the cabin with the other girls and as she climbed up on the bunk above me and slipped under the covers related some flirtatious remark Nate had said to her. It took every ounce of willpower not to shove my feet so hard up against the bottom of her bunk she would fly up and fall right to the floor in a big splat! Maybe she would break a leg and be forced to go home! I could never do it, but just the thought of me doing it made me feel a little better.

  I tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep, and that’s when I saw Sabrina quietly make her way down the ladder next to the bunk. She tossed on a hoodie, grabbed her small flashlight, and went out the door. She was obviously heading to the “outhouse” as we lovingly called it, which was actually a basic bathroom situated behind the cabin outfitted with a few showers and commodes.

  A few minutes later, the camp bell that summoned us to all activities and meal times began ringing loudly, startling my other cabinmates awake. Outside there was lots of shouting and screaming, and then we heard one of our camp counselors ordering everyone through a bullhorn to get out of the woods!

  We all scrambled out of bed and grabbed the first thing we could find for our feet as our own counselor, Sarah Jane, rushed us out the cabin door. Once we were outside, we could see the entire sky lit up like the Fourth of July! My heart leapt into my throat as I quickly realized the air was thick with smoke and flames engulfed the trees, quickly spreading toward the cabins!

  Dozens of firemen raced onto the scene yelling at us to evacuate the woods immediately! We all turned and ran in the opposite direction as fast as our legs could carry us past the cabins as the fire raged behind us. Our counselor found an old trail that led to the main road and we headed in that direction.

  A sick feeling soon settled in my stomach as I glanced around and realized Sabrina wasn’t with us. She must still be in the outhouse. I shouted for our counselor, who was ahead of me herding everyone to safety, but she was too far away to hear me. I was scared, not sure if I should go back, but my instincts kicked in, and I turned and raced back toward the fire.

  I passed a group of boys who were running down the trail in a panic, and even caught sight of my brother, Randy, who had a big grin on his face, thrilled that this disaster probably meant we would have to go home early! I just prayed he didn’t have anything to do with how the fire started!

  I reached the outhouse, screaming for Sabrina as loud as I could over the roaring of the fire and the husky voices of the firemen yelling to one another as they fought the blaze. I raced inside and checked every stall and the shower area but there was no sign of her! I hurried back to our cabin, calling for Sabrina, but didn’t see her there at first. I hoped she had found a means of escape and was with another group or had caught up with ours. Then, suddenly, I noticed a light coming from underneath my bunk. I dropped to my knees and peered under it, and sure enough, there was Sabrina curled up in a tight ball, crying, scared to death, the flashlight lying beside her.

  I reached under the bed and pulled her out, and she grabbed me, sobbing, and hugged me tight as I led her back down the path. Behind us we heard a loud explosion and I looked back to see our cabin shaking violently as a large tree landed on the roof and sparks flew everywhere.

  Sabrina screamed hysterically, unable to move, and the air was now so thick with smoke neither of us could see anything! So I gripped Sabrina’s hand even tighter and just ran blindly into the night, dragging her along behind me, until we ran smack into the arms of a fireman, who finally led us both to safety.

  Our parents were notified, and by the next morning, our mother arrived to take us home. She was happy to see us alive and well, but mortified at the sight of Randy, who had refused to shower for the whole two weeks and was caked in dirt. He ran past her and jumped in the backseat of the car and refused to come out until we were home. He promised me he had nothing to do with the fire, and luckily, a few weeks later, we heard a couple of hikers had camped out nearby and not properly put out their campfire, so Randy was officially in the clear.

  Sabrina spent the rest of the summer showering me with gifts of lobster dip to show her appreciation, and even presented me with a lovely friendship bracelet and matching necklaces where each of us had half of a heart on a chain and mine said “Best” and hers said “Friends.”

  Sabrina and I met every day at a popular café in town and she introduced me to mint iced teas that were so refreshing and delicious, we would sip them for hours rehashing the dramatic events of the summer to anyone who was willing to listen, embellishing the details to make ourselves seem like true movie heroines!

  On the first day of school that fall, I rushed into the cafeteria at lunchtime. I had been looking forward to this all morning when finally I would be seated at Sabrina’s table with her posse, feeling the warmth from all the attention I would surely receive from her clique as she told them how the two of us had almost perished in a roaring forest fire, and how I had heroically and selflessly saved her life.

  With a big smile on my face I made a beeline for her table, but as I approached, she turned her head toward me, and just looked at me with a blank stare. In the blink of an eye, I knew that our summer friendship was over, and things were back to normal. And so, I quietly turned around and walked over to a corner table and sat by myself, that is, until my real BFFs, Liddy and Mona, joined me and we laughed and gossiped, and I realized I was the lucky one, not Sabrina, to have such real and true friends by my side.

  I’ve changed up one of my favorite childhood summertime drinks, mint iced tea, and made a more adult version to satisfy my craving for a yummy cocktail!

  Minty Iced Tea Cocktail

  Ingredients

  4 or 5 mint leaves

  2 ounces bourbon

  Your favorite brand of iced tea

  Lemon slices for garnish (optional)

  In a small bowl crush up four or five mint leaves then put them in a cocktail glass, add ice, the 2 ounces bourbon and top off with your iced tea. Garnish with lemon if you would like.

  Here is a yummy lobster dip to add to your favorite crackers while you enjoy your cocktails!

  Sabrina Merryweather’s Favorite Lobster Dip

  Ingredients

  Meat from two cooked 1¼ lobsters,

  chopped up in small pieces

  1 tablespoon diced onion

  1 tablespoon lemon juice

  1 8-ounce package softened cream cheese

  1 tablespoon prepared horseradish

  Mix all your ingredients in a blender until fully incorporated and fairly smooth. Transfer to a bowl. Cover and chill in the refrigerator for at least two hours, the longer the better for the flavor. Remove and share with your family and friends, who will be eternally grateful!

  Chapter 21

  As they cleaned up the ransacked cabin, Corey happened to call Mona’s cell phone to inquire about spending the afternoon with her. Upon hearing the news of the break-in and their violent encounter with a masked intruder, Corey insisted on jumping in his truck
and racing right over with Sadie in tow to check on them despite Mona’s loud protestations that everything was fine and there was absolutely no good reason for him to come over.

  Hayley and Liddy instinctively knew that Corey was using the surprise attack as an excuse to see Mona again, but Mona instantly dismissed their theory and scolded them for acting like dippy, nitwitted high school girls trying to fix up their bestie.

  “He’s not coming over just to see me,” Mona declared. “He wants to make sure all of us are okay!”

  Within minutes, they heard a truck pull up outside and the door slam, and then they saw Corey Guildford burst into the cabin with Sadie hot on his heels, tail wagging. He blew right past Hayley and Liddy and headed straight to Mona, whom he grabbed in a tight hug, and whispered in her ear as he patted the back of her head, “Honey, are you okay?”

  Mona grimaced at the sight of Hayley and Liddy exchanging knowing looks, and pushed him away. “I told you on the phone, I’m fine, now get off me.”

  Corey stared at Mona, his soft, caring eyes taking in her face, transfixed.

  “We’re fine too, Corey, thanks for asking,” Liddy hollered from across the room.

  Corey snapped out of his reverie and turned to them. “I’m glad to hear it. So he was hiding in the closet?”

  “Yes,” Hayley said, pointing, “Over there.”

  Corey walked over to the closet and poked his head inside. “He must have heard you arriving, and didn’t have time to escape, so he hid in here.”

  “Yeah, thanks for figuring that out for us, Captain Obvious,” Mona said, snorting.

  It was clear what Mona was doing. She was completely overcompensating for the fact that she really liked this guy by making fun of him and treating him like dirt.

  Hayley and Liddy were not buying it for a minute.

  And neither was Corey.

  He ambled back over to Mona, and squeezed her cheek with his thumb and forefinger. “I love it when you try to act bitchy. It’s downright adorable.”