Death of a Lobster Lover

by Lee Hollis

  “The whole thing nearly gave me a heart attack,” Liddy said.

  Sadie perched next to Hayley, and she knelt to pet her. “Well, we’re safe now that we have our very own guard dog, right, Sadie?”

  Sadie panted and closed her eyes, intoxicated by Hayley’s gently and lovingly stroking her fur.

  “Did you get a good look at him?” Corey asked.

  “No! I told you on the phone, he was wearing a mask,” Mona sighed impatiently.

  “I mean physically, was he tall, short, lean, fat, could you make out any identifying characteristics at all?” Corey asked.

  “He was definitely big,” Hayley offered. “And I’d say he was on the heavy side, he had some bulk to him, but he was wearing a long-sleeve shirt and jeans so it’s not like we saw a distinctive tattoo or birthmark, or anything like that.”

  “It all happened so fast! After he hurled me into the refrigerator, I don’t remember anything at all!” Liddy cried.

  “Did you already call the police? I’m surprised I beat them here,” Corey said, perplexed.

  “We . . . uh . . . we didn’t call them,” Hayley said.

  “What? Why not?”

  “Because we’re afraid Sheriff Daphne will show up herself, and find a way to blame the whole thing on us!” Liddy said.

  “Blame you? That’s crazy,” Corey said. “Why?”

  “Because she hates us!” Mona shouted.

  “What?” Corey asked, still confused.

  “She’s been targeting us ever since we arrived in Salmon Cove, Corey,” Hayley calmly explained. “Ticketing our car every chance she gets, arresting us for tampering with evidence, but then offering not to charge us if we just quietly leave town.”

  “Why would she do that?”

  There was a long, pregnant pause.

  “Because of you,” Hayley said quietly.

  Corey looked at all three of them, flummoxed and upset.

  “I don’t . . . I don’t understand . . .”

  “I think you do, Corey,” Hayley said softly. “She is in love with you, and ever since Mona came to town, she’s seen her as a major threat.”

  “But Daphne and I are not in a relationship!” Corey roared, striking a defensive posture. “I mean, yes, we went out to dinner a few times over the last year or so, but it was all very casual and friendly, nothing serious.”

  “Well, apparently, Sheriff Crazy Pants doesn’t see it that way!” Mona barked. “She believes she’s your girlfriend!”

  Corey made a beeline for Mona and took her hands in his, squeezing them tightly. “Mona, I swear, I consider Daphne a friend. Sure, at first when I asked her out, I thought maybe we might forge some kind of relationship, but after a couple of dates I knew in my heart she wasn’t the one so I backed off and tried to keep things simple and friendly. I thought she got the message and was okay with that. Mona, read my lips. Daphne is not my girlfriend!”

  “Makes no difference to me,” Mona said, wrenching her hands free from his grip. “I’m a married woman.”

  “I’m very well aware of that. You’ve reminded me of that fact about a dozen times since you got here.”

  Hayley noticed a hurt look cross his face for an instant, but he quickly covered and stepped closer to her.

  “Mona, there’s something I’ve been wanting to get off my chest ever since you arrived in Salmon Cove,” Corey said solemnly.

  Hayley and Liddy exchanged looks, wondering if they should step outside, but neither willing to move a muscle and miss a moment of the scene that was about to unfold.

  “No!” Mona yelled.

  “No, what? I haven’t said anything yet!”

  “No, I don’t want to hear it! Whatever it is you have to say, keep it on your chest . . . your muscled, hairy, hot, sexy chest! Just keep it there, do you hear me?”

  “I can’t, Mona.”

  “Yes, you can! I’m warning you, Corey, don’t say anything!”

  “I love you,” Corey said, eyes welling up with tears. “I’ve loved you for years, ever since we were kids, but I was never man enough to say anything, and then I heard you got married back in Bar Harbor after you graduated from high school and had a boatload of kids, and I was happy for you! I figured we were never meant to be, so I moved on. But there is a reason I never married, Mona, I’ve always kept you in my heart, and I didn’t think it was fair to marry someone else, knowing deep down she would never be my number one.”

  Liddy gasped, grabbing Hayley’s shirtsleeve for support. The drama of this moment was almost too overwhelming for her. “This is the most romantic moment that’s ever happened to me, and it’s not even happening to me!”

  Mona didn’t say a word.

  She just started at Corey, a blank expression on her face.

  “When you came back here, I tried my damnedest to keep my feelings in check, and not let on how I felt. But you hadn’t changed a bit. You were still the plain-spoken spitfire you always were, the one I fell in love with, and well, I had to admit to myself I was still in love with you. I’ll always love you,” Corey said softly.

  Hayley noticed Liddy’s entire weight leaning on Hayley’s arm as she swooned. She feared Liddy might faint.

  Mona stood frozen in place a few moments before slowly nodding her head as she signaled Corey that she had heard him and understood what he was saying. And then, she reared back and slapped him hard across the face with the palm of her hand.

  “Well, snap out of it!”

  Mona was a big fan of Cher’s Oscar-winning performance in Moonstruck. Actually, it was Hayley who was the fan when they first went to see it as kids. Mona thought it was a syrupy, boring, ridiculous movie. But she clearly remembered the seminal scene of Cher’s reaction when Nicolas Cage professed his love because she had literally just re-created it.

  But Mona didn’t stop there.

  She slapped him again.

  “Stop saying you love me! What the hell am I supposed to do with that information? I’m married, you hear me, married!”

  “I know,” Corey said, eyes downcast. “I just couldn’t let you leave again without me at least putting it out there. I never would have forgiven myself.”

  Corey turned and walked back over to Sadie, who sensed he was hurting. He leaned down to rub her head and the dog soothingly licked his cheek, the exact spot where Mona slapped him, which was now turning a faint red. “Ready to go, girl?”

  Sadie wagged her tail and started to follow him out.

  Corey stopped at the door, and turned around, a sad smile on his face.

  “Good-bye, ladies, safe travels home.”

  And then he was gone.

  Chapter 22

  “Well, I’m certainly glad that nonsense is over,” Mona announced after Corey left.

  “Did you see the look on his face, Mona? The poor man was devastated,” Liddy said, shaking her head, clutching a hand to her heart.

  “That’s not my problem! He knew all along I was married and that nothing could happen between us! He should’ve just been more careful and not gone all soft on me,” Mona said, averting eye contact with them, turning away as if she was trying her best not to release a sudden flood of tears.

  “I think it was very brave of him to open up like that and take a chance,” Hayley said.

  “Brave? That wasn’t brave! That was stupid! Look where it got him! Now he’s all sad and depressed, which makes me feel bad. The big lug should’ve kept his mouth shut! We were having a nice time together and he had to go and ruin it! I’ve had it with Salmon Cove! I want to go home now!” Mona cried.

  “We can’t go home yet! We need to stay and face these ridiculous charges,” Hayley said.

  “No, we don’t!” Mona declared. “We can just leave! Right now! Just get in the car and drive home!”

  “Mona, we can’t sneak out of town. Polly will lose the bail money she posted on our behalf! Leaving her high and dry wouldn’t be right,” Hayley said firmly.

  “Hayley is right, Mona
,” Liddy said. “Polly was very sweet to bail our butts out of jail. If it wasn’t for her, we’d still be there.”

  “She won’t lose her money if we accept Sheriff Wilkes’s deal” Mona said, folding her arms.

  “You mean promise to leave and never come back ever?” Hayley asked.

  “That’s what I’m saying!” Mona said.

  “But Mona, Salmon Cove holds such warm childhood memories for you. This cabin has been in your family for generations, and . . . well, what about Corey?” Hayley asked gently.

  “What about him? I’m sick of that man fawning all over me! I’m sick of getting harassed by the local sheriff everywhere we go! I’m sick of always being front and center wherever there’s a crime! I’ll be happy if I never have to come back to this place ever again!”

  “You’re just worried if you stay here much longer, you’ll do something you will regret,” Liddy said.

  “Yeah, and I guess there’s that, too!” Mona barked as she furiously zipped up her suitcase. “So are we going to call the sheriff and take the deal?”

  “No,” Hayley said.

  “No?” Liddy asked, surprised.

  “You two can take the deal and go, but I refuse to allow that woman to try to dictate where we can go, who we can see, and what we can do. That’s abuse of power and yes, we may be at risk for a heavy fine or even some jail time, but it’s a risk worth taking to show her that she will not get away with intimidating us!”

  Hayley noticed their halfhearted looks of support.

  “. . . Or intimidate just me if you two decide to get out of Dodge,” Hayley said quietly. “So go on, you two can go. I won’t hold it against you.”

  Liddy looked at Mona, who was stone-faced, and then back at Hayley. “Of course we’re going to stay! We would never in a million years desert our best friend, right, Mona?”

  “I really just want to go home and see my kids,” Mona said, tapping her foot nervously. “And I normally can’t stand my kids!”

  Liddy stared at Mona, narrowing her eyes. “All for one and one for all, Mona . . .”

  “Okay, yes, I’ll stay, damn it! But I will never forgive you if we wind up serving six months in jail and I lose my lobster business!”

  “Good, we’re all in agreement,” Liddy said, and then turned to Hayley. “So what’s the plan?”

  “Plan?”

  “You’re the one so determined to stay. You must have a plan,” Liddy said, stepping closer to Hayley.

  “I hadn’t really thought that far ahead before I gave that rousing speech. I don’t actually have a plan,” Hayley said, shrugging, somewhat embarrassed.

  “Why does it always depend on me to come up with a plan?” Liddy said. “Okay, the first thing I am going to do is call Sonny, and if he’s not busy cavorting with his new paralegal, I’m going to get some honest-to-goodness legal advice so we’re not just relying on that ignoramus Opie what’s his name?”

  “Oliver, Oliver Hammersmith,” Hayley offered.

  “Yeah, that dunce,” Liddy said, grabbing her cell phone off the rickety, dusty kitchen table and tapping numbers with her finger on the screen to unlock her phone.

  She clamped the phone to her ear and waited as it rang.

  “Sonny, it’s me, Liddy! Are you alone?” she asked pointedly. “Well, yes, I feel I need to ask because I have no idea who you might be with now that you’re free to pursue anything in panty hose!”

  Liddy sighed, rolling her eyes at Hayley and Mona as she listened to Sonny talk, using her right hand like a puppet to make a gesture of someone chattering on and on incessantly.

  “Don’t take that tone with me, Sonny! You lost that right the day you decided you wanted to take a break! No, no, Sonny, if you don’t calm down I’m going to hang up!”

  “Don’t hang up, Liddy! Please, get on topic!” Hayley begged.

  Liddy nodded. “Sonny, I don’t know what you were thinking hooking us up with that nitwit Orville Thunderhead!”

  “Oliver Hammersmith,” Hayley corrected her again.

  “Whatever! He is a moron, Sonny! He took a nap during our hearing and he was standing up! This is who you sent to save our hides? What on earth were you thinking? No, no, you listen . . .”

  “For the love of god, Liddy, let the poor man speak!” Mona screamed.

  Liddy raised her index finger to signal Mona to be quiet.

  “Okay, Sonny, I’m listening . . .”

  Hayley wished the phone conversation was on speaker because she was uneasy about solely relying on high-strung Liddy to absorb and process all the information she was getting from Sonny.

  Liddy noticed Hayley’s and Mona’s nervous, angst-ridden faces, and gave them an encouraging smile and thumbs-up.

  “Yes, I understand, but what about Hayley and Mona?” Liddy asked, listening to Sonny intently.

  Hayley and Mona exchanged concerned looks.

  “Okay, fine. Talk to you later, Sonny,” Liddy said, ending the call.

  “Well, what did he say?” Hayley blurted out, unable to handle the suspense.

  “He wants me to drive over to Oscar Hammerhead’s office . . .”

  “Close enough,” Hayley sighed.

  “And we’re going to get Sonny on the phone so he can talk to Oscar, or is it Owen?”

  “It doesn’t matter, Liddy! Just tell us what Sonny said!” Hayley wailed.

  “They’re going to have a conference call and Sonny is going to talk Ollie through a very detailed courtroom strategy, and he wants me there to take notes so if he drifts off point in the courtroom I will have Sonny’s written instructions in front of me to help him get back on track.”

  “That actually sounds like a good plan,” Hayley said, surprised and relieved.

  “Well, let’s go over to his office right now then,” Mona said. “We’re wasting time here.”

  “There’s just one thing,” Liddy said. “Sonny wants me to go to Hammerhead’s office alone.”

  “But why? If we are going to discuss strategy, Mona and I should be there too because our futures depend on it!” Hayley insisted.

  “Sonny understands that, but apparently Sledgehammer has a thing about crowds . . .” Liddy said.

  “What do you mean crowds?”

  “Being in close quarters, like a small office, with more than two people. The courtroom is different because it’s wide and open, but he’s extremely claustrophobic, and can’t focus on the task at hand, and Sonny says it is imperative he stay focused.”

  “What kind of loony tunes character are we dealing with here?” Mona bellowed.

  “Okay, fine. Two people. But you are one person, Liddy, so that means either Mona or I can come along too, right?”

  “No, Sonny will be there.”

  “But he won’t even be in the room! He will be on the phone!” Hayley yelled, exasperated.

  “I guess just a voice still counts as another person in the room,” Liddy said. “Do you really want to argue about this? We need to nail down our defense!”

  Hayley threw her arms up in the air, giving up.

  They ran out to the car, and with Liddy driving, drove back to the Salmon Cove business district, taking great caution to stay well under the speed limit, but not too slow, to avoid getting stopped by Sheriff Daphne or one of her minions. Liddy dropped Hayley and Mona off near some shops, and told them to meet her at six PM at the Mews, a nice waterfront restaurant she had researched online, that served a pricey but well-reviewed dinner menu. They agreed, and spent the next two hours walking up and down the street in the business district, poking their heads into various boutique stores, but their minds were on what was happening at Oliver Hammersmith’s office.

  They ended up at the Starfish Lounge and had one drink to kill time, and then just before six, they strolled down Main Street and on to the outskirts of town where the Mews was situated with a stunning view of the bay.

  They sat at the bar and had a cocktail and waited for Liddy, but she was apparently running
late, so when their reservation time came and went, they decided to be seated by the hostess and split a fried calamari appetizer. By seven Liddy was still a no-show. Hayley texted her and received no response. She tried again at seven thirty and then again at eight. Still nothing. She then called Oliver Hammersmith’s office and got his voice mail. Office hours were from ten to six and she was told by the secretary’s polite voice to call back tomorrow.

  By nine PM Hayley and Mona were more than just a bit concerned. It was so unlike Liddy to be completely incommunicado. Perhaps she somehow inexplicably spaced on their dinner plans and had just driven back to the cabin after her meeting with Hammersmith. They paid the bill and called a taxi to take them back to the cabin. But when Hayley and Mona were dropped off by the cabdriver, they found the cabin dark and deserted. Inside, there was no sign of Liddy. The place was just as they had left it. Hayley tried calling Liddy’s cell phone one more time and she was sent directly to voice mail.

  Something was seriously wrong.

  Chapter 23

  When the first rays of sunlight peeked through the trees in the woods surrounding the cabin the following morning, and Liddy still had not returned, even stalwart Mona was trying desperately not to join Hayley in full-fledged panic mode.

  “This is so unlike her. I mean, Liddy thrives on keeping everyone abreast of her schedule every waking moment,” Hayley said. “She wouldn’t just go somewhere and not text or call us.”

  Mona rubbed her eyes and yawned as she shook her head, completely at a loss. Neither of them had slept a wink all night. They just sat up waiting and worrying and speculating on her whereabouts.

  “So what should we do?” Mona asked.

  “We have to go out there and look for her,” Hayley said, pouring herself a strong cup of coffee to shake off her bone-weary exhaustion.

  “How? We have no car. We’re stuck out here in the middle of nowhere.”

  “We’re going to have to call someone to help us, someone who can drive us around, and I think we both know who that person is,” Hayley said calmly and deliberately.

  “Hell no! We are not calling Corey!”