What You Deserve : A Gem Stone Book

by Mary Martel

  I counted the doors on the left as we walked down the wide hallway.

  I hated this place, it felt like being in a luxury hotel that most normal people wouldn’t be able to afford to live in and the people in this house took it all for granted. I couldn’t judge, because I myself lived a life of luxury, but the house I lived in with my father was way more than just lux, highbrow shit, it was a real home. The nannies had made it that way, not my father. And yes, that shit was plural.

  Yes, there was more than one, they got along with each other, and they took turns falling on his dick whenever he wanted them to. He had several children with them, and they all seemed like one big, happy family.

  And then there was me.

  One.

  Two.

  Three.

  Four.

  Five.

  There it was, Gin’s bedroom door.

  Mine used to be directly across the hall.

  We’d always sleep with our doors open and we’d flash our mini flashlights across the hall at each other, and we always used two tin cans on a string stretched out across the hall to communicate. It had been better than nothing, but nowhere near what we’d wanted.

  We used to beg and beg and beg to be able to share a room. Every Christmas we’d ask for bunk beds and that’s all we’d ever wanted. Every year we’d been grossly disappointed and seriously heartbroken when my mother flat out refused and told us we needed to get over it and stop asking, because she was never going to allow it to happen.

  She’d always said we needed to be our own individuals and it wasn’t healthy to be so codependent.

  I knew now she was just an asshole and liked Gin more than me and couldn’t wait for her first chance to get rid of me.

  “Hurry up, Gem,” Franks prodded. I looked up to see him staring back over his shoulder and his whole body had tensed up. I glanced back but nothing was there. “Get a move on.”

  What was his problem?

  I opened the door and walked into Gin’s room before I could think better of it and stand there staring at the door for another five hours.

  Franks shoved me all the way inside and quickly slammed the door shut. I turned in time to see him locking it.

  “What’s going on with you?” I couldn’t help but ask.

  He side-eyed me, giving me a dirty look. “I can’t be around your shitty parents any more today. They’re complete assholes.”

  I nodded in agreement. They were complete assholes and I didn’t want to be around them any more today either. But... “It’s her house. It’s not like you can stop her.” I shrugged my shoulders helplessly.

  “We’ll see,” came his cryptic reply, and I couldn’t help but stare at him in surprise. What was he going to do, beat up my mother?

  That absurd thought set me off and I started laughing. I didn’t think it was possible to laugh on this day but here I was, doing just that.

  I laughed so hard my stomach hurt and tears leaked out of my eyes. I wrapped my arms around my middle and just held on.

  It didn’t take long for the hysterical laughter to dry up.

  Franks wrapped his arms around me, and I buried my face in his chest. My arms went around his middle and I slid my hands up under his suit jacket. I grabbed fistfuls of his crisp, white button up dress shirt and held on for dear life. Franks hands dropped to my hips and he picked me up. My feet dangled in the air as he carted me toward the bed.

  He sat down with me in his lap and scooted backwards until we were in the center of the bed. He rolled to his side, taking me with him.

  We lay there for what felt a whole lot like a lifetime but was probably more like an hour while I cried my eyes out. Franks held on to me tightly the entire time, whispering sweet, kind, gentle words.

  I barely heard him. I was too focused on the pain inside my chest, inside every part of me, and the fact I could smell her.

  Being here in her room, in her bed, with her scent all around me, after watching that fancy fucking box being lowered into the ground was all too much for me, and I completely came apart.

  Somehow, some way, I drifted off to sleep, and when I woke up in a tangle of limbs with my dress all scrunched up around me and a wrinkled mess, I almost wished I hadn’t been able to sleep because my dreams had been horrible.

  I woke up in a cemetery with huge, hulking, crumbling headstones all around me. That wasn’t the horrible part.

  I mean, yeah it had been hard to see around those suckers and super creepy because it had been nighttime and foggy, which everyone knew fog at night was the catalyst for someone about to be murdered, but really it was the flowers that had been the horrible part.

  Giant roses in a whole rainbow of different colors chased me around through the cemetery. The buds were opened up, exposing vicious-looking razor-sharp fangs. They kept snapping at me and trying to eat me. I ran and ran as fast as I could but never actually got anywhere. My body felt weighted down, sluggish even, and I couldn’t stop crying.

  I woke up feeling like shit and wishing I hadn’t eaten those stupid gummy bears. Crying my eyes out and crashing as hard as I had, had clearly done a number on me, and the thoughts in my fucked up head had invaded my stupid dream. And now I was outrageously hungry.

  Stupid munchies.

  My stomach rumbled in agreement, or disagreement, it was hard to tell, I just knew it sounded angry.

  When was the last time I’d actually eaten anything? Not today. I hadn’t even been able to entertain the thought of food earlier. The day before I’d been in such a fog I couldn’t remember if I’d eaten or not, but I didn’t think I had. Had I eaten the day before that? Had I eaten since finding out about Gin’s death?

  I couldn’t remember, and that frightened me.

  What else happened in the last several days that I just didn’t remember?

  Franks didn’t so much as twitch when I crawled out of the bed and his arms. Some time when I’d been out, he’d removed his suit jacket and shoes, and had rolled up the sleeves on his button up all the way up to his elbows. He’d also removed my shoes as well and placed them on the floor beside the foot of the bed. I was happy to see my purse and the bag I’d dropped off this morning beside my shoes.

  I picked up both my bags and carried them into the bathroom. I turned the light on after closing the door because I didn’t want to wake my boy up. I dropped both bags onto the counter beside the sink and steadily avoided looking at my reflection in the mirror.

  I didn’t want to see Gin staring back at me. It was far too soon for that. I turned the shower on and stripped out of my funeral dress and my undergarments.

  I didn’t care that the dress had cost too much money to be carelessly discarded in a pile on the floor. I never planned on wearing it again and would, in all likelihood, end up throwing it away in the trash so I’d never have to look at it again. Bad memories could cling to anything, even clothing. I didn’t want to open my closet one day and be assaulted with the memory of my sister’s funeral.

  I took the fastest shower humanly possible and managed to do it without breaking down and crying again when I used her shampoo and conditioner. I’d smell like her until I showered again, but I was thinking maybe I’d start using the same products she used so I would have a small piece of her with me always.

  That wasn’t weird or anything, right?

  Christ.

  Who gave a fuck if it was or not? I was going to do it either way.

  I got out of the shower, and thankfully the mirrors were fogged over, so I didn’t have to avoid looking at myself. I wrapped myself up in a fluffy pink towel and dug around inside my bag. I pulled out my panties, a hairbrush, tank top, and sleep shorts that were maybe just a wee bit too short to walk around this house in, but I had packed light because no way would I be staying here longer than necessary.

  No fucking way.

  I got dressed and towel dried my hair as best as I could and stuffed my hairbrush back into my bag. Usually I’d blow dry it, but I didn’t want
to chance waking up Franks, so I let it be after pulling it up into a high ponytail at the back of my head. It was as made up as I was going to get since I planned on eating something and then going back to sleep beside Franks again.

  I slipped out of the bathroom and dropped my bags back down to where they’d been before beside my shoes. Franks was still dead to the world, so I let him be and headed downstairs to the kitchen, hoping I didn’t run into anyone.

  It was dark outside, but I hadn’t checked my phone so I had no idea what time it was. I hoped it was late enough that everyone had gone home already, and hopefully the evil mother of mine had checked out for the day already with her bottle of wine and whatever medication her shitty doctor had prescribed her this month.

  Gin had told me that she changed up doctors quarterly because they started to not enjoy her company after a while and stopped wanting to prescribe her whatever her black heart desired. I didn’t ask what it was they were enjoying in her company, and I honestly did not want to know.

  TMI, baby.

  I didn’t get lucky enough to make it to the kitchen without running into someone else or going without an incident involving my parents.

  The first thing happened just after I made it downstairs and walked past a closed door, which I remembered once led to a rather large home office my father used to spend quite a bit of time in. The noises I heard coming from behind the partially closed door had me stopping in my tracks.

  Why not just close the fucking door all the way? That was just asking to be discovered, the assholes.

  I knew those voices, damn it. One better than the other, but I knew them both so very well. My mother and my father.

  From the noises they were making, it sounded like they were both breathing heavily and moaning slightly. They were both clearly getting off on what they were doing, and the whole thing filled me with disgust.

  My father had multiple partners he was in some weird ass committed relationship with, for fuck’s sake. And her? She hadn’t been committed to anything but spreading her vile hatred wherever she could for the last like ten years or so. And now they were going to fuck each other? What complete assholes. Did he forget all the wrong she’d done to not just him but to me, his child?

  I leaned in, grabbed hold of the door handle, and pulled the door shut. It clicked closed quietly, and I hurriedly moved away from it in case they’d heard and came to investigate. I hadn’t wanted to see them before and I really didn’t want to see them now. I didn’t think I’d be able to hold my tongue and the witch would probably toss me out on my ass again.

  The second incident happened after I made it to the kitchen. It sucked just as much as the first one, probably even more so, but it’s not like I could take out a scale and weigh them out to see how much suckage there really was.

  There was absolutely nothing sweet or unhealthy to eat in this house that I could find, and I was growing more frustrated by the second. I moved from the cupboards to the pantry to the refrigerator.

  I found tinfoil covered trays in the industrial-sized refrigerator with cheese, meat, and veggies inside. Not sweet, but it definitely felt like I’d hit the jackpot here.

  I pulled out the trays and placed them on the counter. The bottom tray had apple slices, grapes, some kind of berry, and even something that looked a whole lot like caramel dip in a small container.

  There was my something sweet, finally.

  I went on a search through cupboards once again and found a rather large round plate that was probably meant to be used as more of a serving platter, but I thought it was perfect for Franks and myself to share. It was one of those moments where my eyes were clearly bigger than my stomach and the munchies had taken over. Either that or the starvation had finally taken over and it was on.

  I loaded the plate up with everything I found except for the carrot sticks. I didn’t like those. I even found some fat free ranch in the fridge to put on there to dip the veggies in. Though I wasn’t really interested in the fat free part of the equation, but ranch was ranch, it was better than nothing, and I’d take it.

  I covered the trays back up with the tinfoil and put them back where I’d found them in the fridge. I didn’t allow myself to think about the fact those trays had probably been put together and placed out for people to eat while they mingled around the house earlier. They were the after the graveside service snacks. I wondered who’d picked them out, because they weren’t my mother’s style.

  I grabbed two water bottles out of the fridge, picked up the plate/platter, and was ready to make my escape back to Gin’s room to hide out once again.

  That was when he came through the doorway and I almost dropped the plate to the floor.

  Shitty shit.

  What was he doing here?

  He stopped just inside the kitchen, standing there frozen like a deer caught in the headlights.

  “Gin?” Riley slurred drunkenly.

  I closed my eyes in frustration and tried to get my shit together so I didn’t throw a water bottle at his head. It would be less messy than my plate, and I was still hungry.

  I opened my eyes and hardened my heart. “Gem,” I snapped. “My name is Gem. Gin is dead.” I left off the because of you part. I wasn’t ready to go there yet with him, but eventually that day would come. His time would come, and he’d get what he deserved, him and the bimbo Barbie would both go down.

  Riley’s face paled. “That’s right. Gin’s dead and you’re here. The sister no one’s ever heard about before. Tell me, Gem, where’s your bodyguard now? Earlier he looked permanently attached to your side, and now he’s nowhere to be seen. Is he a bodyguard or a boyfriend?”

  I absolutely did not like the way he was talking about Franklin or the curiosity brewing in his eyes. That was very much not good.

  For some insane reason, I opened my mouth and what came out was, “He’s not my boyfriend. Not that it’s any of your business, but we’re just friends.”

  Jesus, what was wrong with me?

  “He’s a psycho who tried to run me over, is what he is.”

  Hmm...

  He had me there and I couldn’t exactly argue with him without looking like an idiot. I knew when to pick my battles and this was a losing one. I didn’t like to lose so I changed the subject.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked. “And why are you slurring your words like a drunk?”

  I shifted on my feet, annoyed to be standing here having this conversation while holding a plate of food I was very slowly losing the will to eat. This conversation was sucking my appetite away.

  I needed to get the fuck out of here and fast. The problem was, he was huge and standing in front of my exit. I could go out the other way, but that would take me in the direction of the west wing and I wanted to avoid that shit like the plague because the office activities could have ended by now.

  “Some of us are staying in the pool house tonight,” Riley informed me, and he suddenly looked as exhausted as I felt. He raked his hand roughly through his blond hair and looked away from me. “Your mother invited us to stay. She thought we’d all—Gin’s friends, that is—want to stick close after what we’d gone through today, and I agreed. And my words were slurring because I’ve had a bit too much to drink, but I’m suddenly feeling a whole lot more sober all of a sudden. Running into you took care of that for me real quick.”

  My lips pursed into a tight, angry line. My sister was dead and her twin was high, her divorced parents were fucking, and her boyfriend and close friends were hanging out in the pool house getting drunk.

  Fucking awesome.

  “Well,” I murmured quietly, sounding sad because I fucking just was. “I hope you have fun with that. I’m going back to Gin’s room and back to bed. I’m ready for this day to be over and done with. I can’t take much more today.” Or it might break me.

  Fuck, why was I still standing here talking to him and sharing things with him I wouldn’t share with anyone besides Franks? That wasn’t normally l
ike me, I usually shared with only Franks and Gin and nobody else. This day was really fucking with who I thought I was as a person, and I really needed to get out of here.

  “Here,” he said, as he walked right up to me.

  I fought the urge to step back into the counter and won. Thank goodness. I didn’t want to show weakness in front of this guy. I’d already shown enough in front of my parents when I practically ran away from them at the cemetery, and then I’d been showing Franks weakness for the past however many days. Franks wouldn’t hold it against me ever, but I wouldn’t put anything past the rest of these people.

  Riley plucked the water bottles out of my hands and waved them toward the entrance he’d just stopped blocking. “I’ll carry these for you and walk you back up to Gin’s room, if that’s okay with you. Your mother...” He hesitated and shook his head. “She said some things earlier that weren’t very nice about you and she got out of her mind drunk. I don’t think you should be wandering around alone where you might run into her and have her sink those nasty claws of hers into you. It’s best we go up together. On a good day, she kind of likes me and won’t take her hurt and anger out on you with me there.”

  Hmm...

  It appeared he knew more about my mother than I would have imagined. What had Gin told him? What all had he seen? And, most importantly, why hadn’t my sister said anything about this to me before?

  Secrets between my twin and I did not make me happy in the slightest. I didn’t care that she was dead and it didn’t really matter anymore. It hurt, and that was all I could focus on at the moment.

  “Come on, Gem,” he gently cajoled.

  I flinched away from his outstretched hand that moved far too close to my back for my liking. I hated myself for flinching and blamed it on the day. Maybe tomorrow he could come back and try to touch me, and I could prove I wasn’t so weak as to flinch away from him and maybe punch him in the dick instead.

  That sounded like a good plan to me.

  Well, all except for the part where he came back and, you know, tried to touch me.

  But...

  Whatever.

  “Fine,” I huffed irately and walked past him, right out of the kitchen.