Live to See Tomorrow

by Iris Johansen

Catherine’s eyes flew open.

  No, he hadn’t left her. He was standing in front of the window staring out into the darkness.

  Still naked, buttocks tight, shoulders back, and legs slightly parted.

  “What are you looking at?” She raised herself on one arm. “Is it getting light?”

  “No.” He looked over his shoulder. “Not for another hour or so.” He smiled. “I was just putting space between us, so that I could give you a little rest. But you didn’t doze long.”

  Because she had grown so accustomed to his body next to her, in her, that it had disturbed her not to have him there. During those last hours, the sexual intensity had been unremitting, and they had not been able to get enough of each other. She had never known that animal wildness and mindless need. The various forms of exotic play he’d used to bring her to the edge of sexual madness had been fantastic and exhausting. She had never responded to anyone as she had Cameron. Even now, looking at him, she felt a heaviness and swelling in her breasts and a deep throbbing where his hands had brought her to climax so many times before he’d allowed himself to thrust inside her.

  Madness, indeed. She drew a shaky breath and sat up on the couch. “I’ve got to get back to the house.”

  “We have time.” He looked away from her again. “You didn’t let me share your mind. I wanted very badly to do that, Catherine. Were you that much afraid of me?”

  “No, you were taking enough. You didn’t need to take that, too.”

  “I would have given, not taken, Catherine. I could have taken anyway, but I didn’t want you to throw it back at me later. I’m trying hard. You don’t know how hard.” He turned and strolled toward her. “Let me show you that I can give. I want you again.”

  She could see that. She looked away from him and got to her feet and turned to gather her clothes. “No, it’s over. I’m a woman with responsibilities. I don’t go creeping into a house at daybreak. Particularly not when my son is in that house.”

  “I’ll be quick.” He was behind her and reached around to cup her breasts. “You want me, too.”

  “Yes.” And if she stood here and let him touch and rub against her, she would give in to that need. She had been helpless before Cameron’s skill and her own sexual attraction toward him all night. It had to end. She stepped away from him. “But I don’t always do what I want.” She felt his gaze on her as she headed quickly toward the tiny bathroom at the back of the summerhouse. She closed the door and leaned against it. She’d give herself a few minutes before she washed and started to dress. God, she wanted to open the door and go out there and begin that sexual rhapsody all over again.

  She wouldn’t do it.

  Cameron was dangerous to her in too many ways.

  She stepped to the vanity and began to run the water. It was over. Leave him and become Catherine Ling again.

  Ten minutes later, she braced herself, opened the door, and came out of the bathroom. Cameron was sitting on the couch, still naked, gazing at her without expression.

  “You’re still barefoot,” he said. “Your shoes are under the couch. I saw them a minute ago. You’d better put them on before you leave. Bare feet aren’t suitable for creeping into houses either. Much worse than the idea of coming in at the crack of dawn.”

  “I was just coming out to get them.”

  “I’ll do it.” He got up and picked up her shoes and brought them to her. “What sensible shoes.” He knelt down and picked up her foot and slipped them into the flat. “You have wonderful, shapely feet. I didn’t pay enough attention to them tonight. The feet have a number of pleasure zones.” His fingers moved teasingly on her instep as he put her other foot into the mate. “Next time.”

  She didn’t answer as she turned toward the door. “You’ll let me know when you hear anything about Kadmus?”

  “Of course; nothing has changed in that direction. I’ll do my job. You’ll do your job. Erin will be saved. Kadmus will die.” He was suddenly beside her and whirling her back against the door. His eyes were glittering, and he was no longer without expression. Anger. Frustration. Desire. Yes, definitely desire. “But everything has changed with us, hasn’t it, Catherine?” His voice was hoarse and clipped. “You can walk away, but you’re not going to forget me. You’re going to remember everything I did to you and with you. You’re going to know that every time I look at you, I’m going to remember the taste of your breasts and want to take them out and hold them. You’ll know that if I get a chance, no matter where we are, in a car or a room or even in a ditch, I’ll do what I did tonight. I knew I wasn’t going to have another chance for hours alone with you. But I’ll make do.” His lips covered her own, savage, open, taking, giving. “And you’ll want it and take me. Because neither one of us can help what we’re feeling.” He turned away. “Now go and be a good mother to Luke, a good friend to Hu Chang, Venable’s best agent. In the end, we’ll be together, and you’ll be just mine. I’ll try to stay away from you for a while so that I can look at you without showing how I’m feeling.” He added tightly, “Which probably won’t happen.”

  “Cameron. I don’t—” There wasn’t anything to say, and the atmosphere was too charged. She had to get away from him. She turned, opened the door, and flew down the walk toward the house. She tried desperately to remember the code she’d been given for the back door.

  Yes, that was it. She keyed in the numbers, and the door swung open.

  She was inside in the darkness of the foyer.

  She tried to catch her breath as she started for the staircase down the hall. She was passing the library, where she’d watched Luke and Hu Chang play chess all those hours ago. It seemed a century. She felt changed. Her body felt … riper. She had the odd sensation that Cameron was still with her, a part of her.

  It would go away. It had to go away. She would wake in a few hours, and she would have a hell of a lot of erotic memories but not this feeling of being possessed.

  But what if it didn’t go away?

  * * *

  Brasden received a phone call just as they were getting off the private jet at the airport in San Francisco. “Keep questioning him. He might have been paid to keep silent about Ling’s destination.” He hung up and turned to Kadmus. “Nagle found the taxi driver who picked up Sullivan, Ling, Hu Chang, and some kid at an airport north of the city. He took them to a destination in Chinatown. But he was told to let them out in front of a restaurant, and he saw them walking down the street as he was driving away.”

  “No address?”

  Brasden shook his head. “But a general location. Nagle is questioning everyone on the street and trying to pin it down. It’s reasonable that Ling would choose a safe house in an Asian neighborhood. She grew up in Hong Kong and must have local contacts.”

  “Or maybe she’s trying to throw a red herring into the mix,” Kadmus said. “Who is to say she didn’t leave Chinatown after that taxi let them out?” He frowned. “A kid?”

  “There was a kid that got on that helicopter on the mountain. There were several reports.”

  “I thought maybe it was one of Erin’s village charity cases who she wanted to hide away from me. But she could have dropped him in Hong Kong. Why take him with her to the U.S.?”

  Brasden was looking at the dossiers on his phone. “Catherine Ling has an eleven-year-old son, Luke.”

  Kadmus chuckled. “And she would definitely take him out of my reach if she could. I’d gut the little son of a bitch. I’m just wondering why the hell he was with them on that mountain.” He shrugged. “But that doesn’t matter right now. He’s with her here in San Francisco, and that opens all kinds of possibilities. Erin Sullivan has a soft heart toward children. Maternal love would be a powerful weapon where Ling is concerned. I can use the kid.” He strode toward the car waiting by the hangar. “Find him.”

  “I will.” Brasden strolled after him. “But there’s an order to these things. The kid will be with his mother, and we know she’s with Richard Cameron. After all
, he’s your prime target. We’ll continue looking for the blue Mercedes Cameron used. When we find it, everything may come together. I would have thought you’d have learned that after all these years, Kadmus.”

  “I’ve forgotten more than you’ve ever learned,” Kadmus said. “You’re going at it backwards. Find the kid. He was with Hu Chang and Sullivan in the taxi. Ling is going to have to leave him with someone if she’s not with him. If we grab the kid, Ling will hand us Cameron.”

  Brasden was silent. “You may have a point. We’ll see how it goes.”

  “It better go damn quick. Scour those streets in Chinatown and find someone who knows something.” Kadmus got in the passenger seat of the Cadillac. “And get me Ling’s cell-phone number. I want a way to contact her when I’m ready.”

  “No problem.” Brasden got in the driver’s seat and started the car. “It will take a few hours, but I can get it.”

  “You’re being very accommodating,” Kadmus said sarcastically. “What’s happening?”

  “I don’t mind cooperating. I just had to make sure that you realized I had the upper hand. I told you, I want a percentage, not the entire pot. I’m willing to listen to you on occasion. I’d prefer to be the silent partner who skips away if the situation becomes too hot to handle.” He smiled maliciously. “And watches from a distance as they tear you limb from limb.”

  Kadmus didn’t reply.

  Smother the rage. It would only be for a little while. He would be able to deal with Brasden soon. He was getting closer all the time to the prize. They were in the same city as Cameron and Cameron could lead him to Shambhala.

  And the key to Cameron was no longer Erin Sullivan, who had proved to be such a disappointment.

  It was Catherine Ling and a boy named Luke.

  * * *

  “You slept later than I thought you would,” Hu Chang said when Catherine came into the dining room. “It’s nearly ten.”

  “I was up late.” She sat down and poured herself a cup of tea. “Where’s Luke?”

  “With Erin and Celia in the garden. He’s playing badminton with Celia.”

  “What? Badminton? I can’t see him playing that. I always imagine women in old-fashioned long white gowns and big hats playing the game.”

  “Badminton is an Olympic sport these days, and the play can become fairly intense. Not the way Celia plays it. She prefers it slow and easy. But she has a tiny garden, and badminton fits the area requirements. Besides, she likes the game.” He added dryly, “Of course, after playing with Luke, she may change her mind. He doesn’t know how to be slow and easy. And he can sometimes be overenthusiastic. He’s like that with every competition.”

  “Did he beat you at chess last night?”

  “No, but he came exceptionally close. He wanted to start playing after breakfast, but I told him to go outside and clear his mind.”

  “I’ll take my tea and go out and join him.” She started to get up. “It may be the only time I get the chance before you take him back to that library.”

  “Have your tea,” Hu Chang said. “You look like you need it.”

  “Do I?” She smiled with an effort. “I’m fine.” It wasn’t the truth. She had woken an hour ago with a strange languor and a feeling of emptiness. It had filled her with panic. She did not want to have any lingering sensations from her time with Cameron. She wanted to be totally sharp and completely her own person. She had jumped out of bed, showered, dressed, and come down to face her world. “As I said, I had a late night. Cameron came to the house after I left you and Luke. He found the place he wants to set his trap for Kadmus.” She sat down again and lifted her cup to her lips. “It’s a fireworks factory on Clement Street. Moon, Stars, and Heavenly Wonders. Weird name, isn’t it? Three floors and shops on the street level. Cameron was already in the process of buying it from the owner, but wanted me to see it and make sure I was familiar with every floor.”

  “Yes, very weird name. And did you examine it thoroughly?”

  “Yes, of course. I won’t have any problems when the trap’s sprung.”

  “No, I have the utmost confidence in you when it comes to overcoming problems of that sort.” He took a sip of his tea and leaned back in his chair. “But sometimes other problems of a more personal nature tend to challenge you. Did you face a few of those last night, Catherine?”

  She met his eyes. Wise eyes, eyes that could see into her soul. She would not lie to him. “Yes.” She moistened her lips. “He makes me—I’ve never met anyone who—He’s different. I have to fight for control with him all the time. Sometimes I lose. I don’t like that, Hu Chang.”

  “No, you wouldn’t.” He paused. “But evidently he sometimes loses, too. Can you imagine how difficult that must be for him? He’s the Guardian. He has to win. He was chosen and trained to win.”

  “Then let him go and win with someone else.” She steadied her hand as she raised her cup to her lips. “I’m my own person. I can’t let him dominate me. I won’t let him take and take, no matter how I—” She stopped. “I don’t want to talk about him any longer. All I know is that we have to get Kadmus and make sure Erin is safe.” She got to her feet. “And we have to do it right away. I want to go home with Luke and be what I am and not what Cameron wants me to be.” She drank the last of her tea. She was already feeling better and more herself now that she had talked to Hu Chang and voiced her thoughts. “Now I’m going out to the garden and see my son. Do you want to come with me?”

  “Delighted.” He rose to his feet and followed her toward the French doors. “I believe the sun is shining. We haven’t had much of that since we arrived. Celia always says this city is wonderful, but I could use less fog and more sun.”

  The sun was shining. The brilliant rays were glinting on Luke’s dark hair as he leaped to hit the shuttlecock over the net at Celia. Catherine stood in the doorway, watching them for a minute.

  Then Luke saw her and stopped. “Hi, Catherine. Want to play?”

  She shook her head. “I’ve never played badminton.” She made a face. “I’ve never really learned to play any games. I didn’t have time when I was growing up.”

  He grinned. “Neither did I. But I’ve been learning since you brought me home. Come and play. I’ll teach you.”

  She stared at him in surprise.

  “Yes, go on and play, Catherine,” Hu Chang murmured.

  Come and play. I’ll teach you.

  Was a door opening? She had been the one teaching Luke since they’d rescued him from Rakovac. She’d tried to supply all he needed and give him everything he’d missed. But he’d told her that she had to accept him for what he was.

  Now he wanted to teach her.

  Did he mean come and play, be my friend, not my mother, not my teacher? She didn’t care if she was overanalyzing it. She’d take it.

  She smiled and started toward him. “You probably just want to have an easy mark. Celia looked like she was pretty good.”

  “I’ve been savaged. Your son is a whirlwind.” Celia grimaced. “Please, take over for me.”

  Catherine took the racquet Celia handed her. “Okay, Luke, show me how to play this game.”

  * * *

  “She’s not very good at this, is she?” Cameron asked Hu Chang from where he stood at the French doors. His gaze was on Catherine across the garden. She was laughing, her cheeks flushed, and she leaped forward, then sent the ball into the net. “I’m surprised. She’s always seemed so competent at everything.”

  “She’s only been at this for a couple hours,” Hu Chang said quietly. “And she doesn’t care if she doesn’t win. She’s playing with her son. She figures she’s already won.”

  “I can see that.” Cameron had never seen her like this. She looked almost as young as Luke. No wariness, no edge, just pleasure. He felt a surge of warmth that was rare for him. “I … like it.”

  “She doesn’t care if you like it or not,” Hu Chang said. “And I like her like this, too. I don’t want her dist
urbed.”

  Cameron’s glance shifted from Catherine to his face. “Do I detect antagonism?”

  “I haven’t decided. I usually don’t interfere with Catherine’s choices. But you seem to have pulled out all the stops, and you’re very formidable.” He added thoughtfully, “Now, if you’d just walk away, it would solve a lot of confusion.”

  “I’m not going to walk away.”

  “Then I’ll just have to observe the situation and see if she regains her equilibrium. I believe that will be the way to handle it. Everything may resolve itself.”

  “And if it doesn’t?”

  “The usual conflict that occurs between men such as us.”

  “I would regret that.” He meant it. Those months with Hu Chang had brought him both relief and camaraderie. “I’ve not met anyone in all my years as Guardian whom I respect as much as I do you.”

  “And I also. I do not know whether you’re right or wrong, but there are few men in this weary world who would battle so hard for a cause. I found it refreshing. I would hate to remove you.” He smiled. “But we will not discuss this yet. Catherine is in no danger of hurt while she concentrates on saving Erin. I assume you came to talk to her about plans to do that?”

  “Yes.” His gaze went back to Catherine, and he felt again that strange warmth. He wanted to keep her smiling with that childlike enthusiasm. “But I can tell you as well. She’s busy.”

  Hu Chang’s brows rose. “Interesting. And unusual for you. I believe that’s a step back.”

  “Perhaps you don’t read me as well as you think.” He turned to face him. “I’ve had a report from Blake. Kadmus and Brasden arrived here a few hours ago.”

  “Kadmus. Then you did manage to draw him here. How did you know he’d arrived?”

  “Blake bribed one of Nagle’s team to come over to his camp. He’ll be very useful.”

  “Without question,” Hu Chang said. “What comes next?”

  “We bait the trap. I’m moving Catherine, Erin, and you to the fireworks factory tomorrow night. She told you about it?”

  “Yes. What about Luke?”