Heart of the Wild

by Rita Hestand

  "Then why did they?" Kasie asked.

  "Because I asked them to," he said quietly, as he stole a glance at her and smiled.

  "And?" She waited breathlessly.

  "He laid low. Funny, it's as though the cantankerous old bear knows when I'm looking for him." His tone held no mockery as they shared this moment.

  "How long has he been around here?"

  "Going on seven or eight years now."

  "Ever come across him face to face?" Kyle, who was feeling much better, raised up from the bed to ask.

  "Once. It was just last year. The rangers and I were tracking him. He doubled back around and caught us off-guard. Shots were going everywhere. I aimed, looked him right in the eye and couldn't pull the trigger."

  "No?"

  "No. We were the trespassers, not him. It was his territory. In all fairness, I couldn't shoot."

  "You look tired," Kasie said, unwilling to admit they shared a mutual feeling for a silly old bear. He'd never know how glad she was he hadn't shot Ole Blue.

  "I am. All I want is a something to eat and to go to bed."

  "I'll heat the stew and cornbread. I'm sure you and Tanka are starved." Moving away from him seemed harder now, when what she wanted to do was go to him. But that was emotions, not good sense, she told herself.

  "Sounds great. I thought John might show up today," he said, shrugging off his coat and hanging it in the closet.

  "No sign of him," Kasie called from the stove. When she turned around he was stretching, and her heart turned over. Amory still looked like the swashbuckler of her youth. His brown torso was golden in the light of the cabin. Rock hard muscles strained against the green shirt and well-worn jeans. The top two buttons of his shirt were undone and exposing the gleam of a hairless chest. A chest she had never really touched. Her fingers itched. Her heart skipped a beat. He looked the predator. Kaise felt she might be able to talk to him now that the anger was gone. They were both adults, they should be able to handle this.

  "I hope everyone likes their stew hot, I added some peppers."

  "Sounds like just the thing to warm me up." Tanka grinned as he watched their interplay.

  Kasie smiled and nodded, not fully realizing the scene they were creating. She wondered curiously if the pioneers that founded this rough and rugged land had lived like this. And had she married Amory eight years ago, would this be a typical day in their lives? Would her heart still swoon at the sight of him?

  They all ate in silence, and Kasie washed the dishes without protest.

  Later, Tanka and Gina went outside for a walk, and Kasie knew instinctively that they wanted their privacy. She envied the young lovers. She and Amory reclined by the fire, listening to the soothing crackle of the fire. She glanced at his quiet profile, unable to squelch the tightness in her heart every time she looked at him. Tonight he looked the tired hunter. He was obviously relaxed, from his expression. His face held no frown. He was devastatingly handsome. Idle thoughts of what their children might have looked like flitted through her mind. She batted them away with an effort. Their children. It choked her to think of it.

  "Tell me about dad's bypass." She found neutral ground to discuss with him.

  He nodded, not looking at her. He stared into the flames.

  "Why didn't he let me know about it?"

  "Didn't want to worry you, I suppose." Now he cast her a lazy appraising glance. More sexy than curious.

  Kasie nodded, quelling her unmindful, racing heart. "How bad was he?"

  "Pretty bad. He had several clogged arteries around his heart, and hardening of the arteries to go along with it in his legs. They did a complicated procedure, something about a balloon. A year later he had to have the bypass. He came out of it pretty well. He hasn't had a spell with it since."

  "I'd have been here, if I'd known. I should have been here. To help him," she said, more to assure herself than him. "I'm sure he doesn't understand me. I do love him, but he smothered me, sometimes. They both do."

  "He knows that." Amory gave her a quick smile. "But he's your father, and he can't change who he is, either. Had worse come to worse, I would have gotten in touch with you for him. He just didn't want to worry you. It was touch and go for a while. I think--he was a little afraid. A man doesn't want the people he loves to see him that way. Your father was always a strong man."

  "I guess we have that in common. He doesn't want to appear dependent on anyone, either. Is he watching his diet?" Kasie couldn't hide her growing concern for her father.

  "Margaret watches it for him."

  "Margaret?" Kasie wrestled that name around, but came up blank.

  "His new wife."

  "Oh, yes, I almost forgot he'd remarried. I shouldn't have been surprised when I found out, but I was." She had pushed that bit of news out of her mind. Still, if the woman was taking care of him properly, she supposed she owed her at least respect. "Where did he meet her?"

  Amory glanced at her, gauging her reactions. "He's known her most of his life. She's a local. They grew up together. When her husband died a few years ago, your father stood by her. They had always liked each other, ever since I can remember. I think maybe this is the first woman he's really cared about since your mother."

  "Then you know her?"

  "I know her."

  "So…what's she like?"

  "Nothing to be nervous about," his eyes landed on her hands. "Try not to break those blisters open, yet." His voice was softer. "She's a very warm and considerate lady. You'll like her." He glanced over at Kyle, but he was sound asleep and lightly snoring. "She was very in love with her first husband, and had taken care of him for nearly ten years before he died. He had some rare incurable disease. He'd been ill so long, and she stood by him without a single grudging word. But she was lonely when he died. And your father supplied a shoulder for her to cry on. They are good together."

  Kasie still wrung her hands, the only outward sign that any of this was upsetting her. Still, he knew more than the conversation had upset her.

  "Dad usually marries young women."

  "Margaret is only a couple years younger than he is, Kasie."

  "I suppose his money had nothing to do with it, either?"

  Amory tensed once more. Was everything measured in money?

  "She didn't marry him for money, Kasie. She married him for companionship."

  "Sounds as though you know her well."

  Why had the conversation taken them to such a personal level? He had shied away from her all day, intentionally, trying to sort the information she had so easily given him yesterday. But his mind had never been off her. She hadn't trusted him years ago, and that hadn't changed. Wouldn't. And he wouldn't have her without it. And yet--

  Why did Kasie suddenly become combative? The day had been mind-clearing. She was naturally curious about her father, but nothing he said seemed to reassure her.

  She stood up, and paced, finally, when he said no more, and she walked outside. The skies had cleared, and it was no longer snowing, even the chill seemed to have left the air.

  Tanka and Gina had been kissing out by the jeep, and when they saw her, they went inside.

  Amory came outside, too.

  He looked at her with longing. And sadness overcame him like he'd never known before; a sadness born of loss.

  He admitted he would like nothing better than to have her. But the Indian side of him knew that would never be enough.

  "I know her well," Amory responded, watching her every move." She's my cousin."

  "Cousin?" Kasie blast, turning on him as though he had struck her with this news.

  He nodded grimly.

  "Wonderful. Now we're just one big, happy family, aren't we?" Kasie protested, throwing her arms in the air in a helpless gesture.

  Was it true? Was the Indian in him what repulsed her? He refused to call himself Native American. He was Indian, and proud of it.

  "What are you getting so uptight about?" Amory's gaze lingered on her.
>
  "I don't know. I just never considered the possibilities of being kin to you."

  "We aren't kin, Kasie. And it doesn't look as though we ever will be. Don't worry, my Indian blood will never spill into your lily-white hands."

  Return to Contents

  * * *

  Chapter Eight

  Gina offered to do the cooking and take care of Kyle, while Kasie took care of the wood supply and menial chores. Tanka and Amory were going to assist the rangers in trying to capture Ole Blue.

  As Kasie crawled under the covers that night and watched the firelight, she appreciated it much more; and she even enjoyed a quiet chat with Gina. She was a fascinating creature to talk to. She spoke with emotion and character, giving life to her words. Gina's job took her to fascinating places, and she met so many interesting people, all of which she seemed to recall with fondness. Kasie envied her in many ways; her happiness with life, her surefootedness with men.

  "I hope you're not worried about the men, Kasie," Gina was saying, as she joined her on the floor.

  Kasie almost laughed, so bone-tired she couldn't worry about anything, let alone two grown men. But they should be back by now, Kasie thought.

  "I hadn't given them much thought, actually," she said with a sigh. It was a well-kept lie. It was all she could think of.

  "Well, don't. They're in their element out there in that vast beautiful wilderness. They love this kind of thing. And they'll get Ole Blue, too, without killing him."

  "I have to admit, I feel sorry for that ole bear."

  "Sorry for him? After all the destruction he's caused, and hurting young Kyle? God, you're just like Chayton, he's a real sucker for an animal." Gina took out a nail file and filed her nails as they talked.

  "I know it sounds pretty silly, but I developed a soft spot for the poor creature. I mean, if Amory hadn't told me about him, I probably wouldn't give him a second thought."

  "Better you than me. Personally, I think they should put him out of his misery."

  "Maybe you're right," she sighed heavily, not sure she really agreed, but unwilling to argue the point.

  "I'm sure you've noticed the strain Chay's under." Gina changed the subject, abruptly. "He's not one to be idle. That man has an appetite for working like no other. Even Tanka gets frustrated sometimes, trying to keep up. I honestly think if he had a woman he'd slow down, enjoy life a little more. He's much too serious most of the time."

  "I thought I was causing that strain," she murmured.

  Gina chuckled. "Yes, well, I'm not talking about that strain. Although Tanka and I couldn't help noticing that, too. No, I meant that Chay hates not having the contract. That's putting him on edge, and it looks to me like he might be taking it out on you. He's managed to keep his father's business alive these last few years with the contracts. Tanka just became sucker bait, by not fighting for it this year. The way he figured it, they deserved some time off. Besides, they haven't finished the cabin yet. And Tanka is building one, too, further north, next year."

  "Are you two getting married then?"

  "A girl can hope." Gina smiled fondly. "I wish Chayton could find someone, but it seems as though he's almost given up looking."

  "Maybe he's just secretive."

  "Maybe. But I'd bet there's been someone in his life before. Sometimes he looks downright sad."

  "I guess you know, but my father wanted Chay to marry me eight years ago. And it almost happened."

  "Really, so what happened?"

  "I found out that dad was behind this great coupling, and I took off. It was too embarrassing, facing Amory. I suppose it wasn't his fault. Not many people can say no to my father."

  Gina looked thoughtful for a moment, then added, "Kasie, you don't think Chay would actually go through with a wedding if he didn't care about you, do you?"

  "You said it yourself, he's loyal."

  "But I know Chayton wouldn't dream of something that severe unless he wanted it, himself." Gina defended. "He's his own man, and always has been."

  "I've spent eight years wondering why he was going through with it."

  "Didn't he ever tell you?"

  "Tell me what?"

  "That he loved you?" Gina sat up.

  "No, those words never came from Chayton Amory," Kasie said sadly, "and never will."

  "My God, Kasie. No wonder there is friction. The cad. No wonder there have been so many fireworks around the two of you. But I can't help but believe there is more to this than you are seeing."

  "I was eighteen; he was twenty-three. I'll admit my immaturity, but I doubt he will. And believe me, I don't really blame him. I blame my father. He should never have--."

  "John loves Chayton and Tanka like his own sons."

  "Yes, I know. Too bad they aren't."

  A short silence gave Kasie time for reflection, then she shrugged it away and asked. "So, why haven't you married Tanka?"

  "Fires!. Big ones. Tanka and Chayton have always fought the yearly forest fires, every summer. I beg Tanka not to go every summer, but he says he feels obligated as a logger to do his share to save the trees. Trees are like humans to those two. No two ever respected Mother Nature like Tanka and Chayton. Do you know, now don't tell them I told you this, but they pray before they start cutting trees. They pray for a new forest." Gina giggled.

  Kasie stared into the firelight, overcome with some emotion she couldn't define.

  "I dread those fires every year. They scare me to death. Their father taught them about survival. Still, it's much too dangerous. I'm not going to be a widow before I'm a wife."

  Kasie pictured it in her mind, and laughed, until she realized the seriousness of the situation. A forest fire! She had never contemplated such devastation. She'd seen many on television. But to think Amory had been caught in one, and what the consequences could have been, made her shudder.

  "They could be killed." The thought of Amory dying had never once entered her mind, until now.

  "Maybe, but I think they are both too tough to die."

  Kasie smiled again, and then asked almost shyly, "Is that how their folks died, in the fire?"

  "Oh, no. It was a boating accident."

  "A boating accident?" Kasie felt foolish for being so ill-informed. "But Amory said their place burned down."

  "It did. A few years ago, during one of the biggest fires on the mountain. But their folks were already dead."

  "That's when Amory saved the bed?"

  "Of course, the special bed. The marrying bed. The only women that will sleep in that bed are their brides. That much I know."

  Kasie swallowed this with a grain of salt. She'd slept in the bed, and she wasn't a bride.

  "So how did their folks die?"

  "They were fishing. It was the wrong time of the year for fishing, but those two didn't care. They'd fish in a hole in twenty below weather. Their mother fell in the river as she tried to capture her fish from her line. Chayton's dad jumped in after her, but they think he must have had a heart attack because he never made it."

  * * *

  Kyle was awake and resting comfortably beside Tanka when he came to, anxious to know all the details. "How'd you get shot, Tanka?"

  Tanka tried to raise up in the bed, but found it too difficult, the pain stabbing him, so he merely glanced over at the young man with a indulgent smile. "Some young fool with a gun. I guess I managed to get in front of his bullet. I should have known better. I have no excuse; I'm not a greenhorn kid. There were so many people out there, though. When news got out that Ole Blue had hurt you, why everyone this side of the mountain came prepared to kill."

  Kyle's face turned bright red, and he looked distressed. "Gee, I didn't mean to ..."

  Tanka shook his head and winked. "Hey, don't worry about it. It's not your fault. It's just I've never seen so many would-be hunters in all my life. You'd have thought it was a grizzly gone loco the way they were scattering. The rangers had a helluva time controlling the firing. They were running in circles. We al
l were. It's funny, but Chayton and I had this foolish notion we could take that bear without killing him. Not with that circus running wild out there, we couldn't. But he died a proud death, no thanks to us."