The Only Way To Live

by M. A. Innes

  “No.” He was laughing so hard he almost slipped off my lap as he tried to catch his breath. “I…no…”

  It hadn’t been that funny.

  Derek disagreed, however, because it took him almost a full minute to calm down enough to respond. Finally, he set his hands in his lap very primly and took several long breaths. “No, I am not interested in having children if that’s what you're asking. I think being an honorary uncle in a more traditional sense would be cool, but that’s about it.”

  Thank God.

  “Okay then.” I thought I did fairly well making that sound very nonchalant, but Derek started giggling again. “Really?”

  My scoff just had his laughter building, but he pulled it back eventually. “But you were so funny. Like all of a sudden you were picturing have to run around after triplets.”

  Good grief.

  “You’re being ridiculous.” I narrowed my eyes as he started to giggle again and gave him a dry look as he rearranged himself to straddle my lap. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I couldn’t resist kissing him gently. “I was just curious about where you saw yourself in the future.”

  He snickered for a moment before getting control of himself. “Well, if that’s what you wanted to know, I see myself with a sexy older gentleman who owns his own business and still has time to make me the happiest guy in the world.”

  Happiest guy in the world?

  I knew I was missing something. Kissing the tempting brat again, I raised one eyebrow and questioned him. “How did I make you the happiest man in the world?”

  His expression said I’d clearly lost a few points just for being stupid.

  “You were nice to Jules.” He said it like there was nothing else that could’ve been more important to him.

  Instead of putting his own desires and goals first, his only thought was of his friend. “You made him feel like there was nothing different about what he wanted and even noticed he’d been searching for his binkie. You were just the sweetest thing ever and I don’t think you even realize how special that was.”

  The tender kiss he gave me was flush with emotions, but I wasn’t sure what I’d done that was so special. “I just did what anyone would have done. He was sharing himself with me, so I had to respect that and be nice. And as far as the binkie thing goes, he’s not subtle. Once I realized he was little, I knew that look. Really, he needs a clip or you’re just going to be constantly washing dirty binkies and searching for them at night.”

  Derek rolled his eyes. “I know, but he doesn’t need it all the time. It will give him buck teeth, or at least that’s what my mother used to say.”

  “I think that’s an old wives’ tale.”

  He shook his head. “You’re distracting me. I was telling you how sweet you are and you distracted me with binkies.”

  I was helping.

  “We’ll do binkie research. But I think I’m right, and really, a little bit more time with his binkie can’t hurt. He’s at work all day.” And I had serious doubts that he’d bring it to the library.

  Derek snickered. “You were the sucker dad when Ethan was little, weren’t you? I bet he had a binkie until he was just about in college.”

  “That’s ridiculous.” Just until first grade and only at night. He stopped using it during the day once he realized his best friend in daycare wasn’t using them anymore. Looking back, he’d probably had a crush on the shy little boy, so it made more sense now.

  “Yeah, yeah.” He kissed me again, the tender smile coming back. “But really, it was special and I wanted you to know I appreciated it. People don’t always see things the way you do.”

  They really should. My way was much easier and got fabulous employees.

  “People are crazy. I was just polite.” But I tightened my grip on my sweet brat and kissed him tenderly. When we finally parted, I kissed his nose and smiled. “But I’m glad he’s going to be more relaxed because I liked hanging out with him.”

  Derek looked slightly guilty at that. “What?”

  “He doesn’t really have many people in his life that he can show that side to and who get it. He only told a few people when he first started figuring it out and that didn’t go well.” I must have looked confused because after a quick pause he continued. “I can’t do like regular dates and weekends with you all the time because I don’t want to leave him alone.”

  Ahh.

  “That’s understandable.” But I wasn’t sure what the problem was. “I don’t mind doing things at your house or you guys coming here. I think dinners out with all three of us could be fun. I had a good time at dinner tonight, especially once he relaxed and started really being himself.”

  Jules was cute and seemed to have a dry wit when he wasn’t worried. He had fun driving Derek nuts and had a lot of stories once he opened up.

  “You’re sure?” Derek snuggled against me, resting his head on my shoulder. “I’m pretty sure most guys would be pissed or try to get in his pants since he’s going to be around so much.”

  “Your pants are plenty for me. What would I do with another guy?” Really, that was just ridiculous.

  Derek snickered. “Well, if you don’t know what you’d do with two guys in bed, we need to expand your porn to more interesting options.”

  “My porn is perfectly sufficient. I’ve been researching all kinds of things, thank you very much.” Going back to simple vanilla scenes with a guy jerking off might never be enough to hold my attention again, though.

  But luckily, I was pretty sure with Derek in my life, that would never be something I had to worry about.

  Derek laughed as he sat up and gave me a smacky kiss. “I’m trying to be romantic and shit and tell you how sweet you were and how I appreciated that so I can tell you I love you and you turn around and make it all about porn.”

  He rolled his eyes, apparently trying to decide if he was frustrated or thought it was funny. “And people say I’m the dirty one.”

  He loved me?

  “You are the dirty one.” There was no doubt about that. “No one will ever believe I was the one who corrupted you.”

  He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “And that’s all you have to say?”

  I gave him back one of his wide-eyed I’m so innocent looks that had him giggling again. “Was there something else? Your run-on sentence had so many issues I’m not sure where to start. But I have to say, I don’t remember anything specific that I had to respond to, just a few things you said you were going to say. There’s a big difference.”

  Derek huffed, but I could see the laughter right behind his eyes. “You enjoy making my life difficult.”

  “Oh, I think I’m offended. I’m a gentleman. I wouldn’t do anything like that.” I narrowed my gaze and shook my head. “Now you, on the other hand, like shocking me and putting naughty thoughts in my head. If anyone likes making life difficult, it’s you.”

  Derek giggled again, so I kept teasing him. “I was perfectly content living my very normal life, going to work and then coming home. You decided to upend all of that.”

  Cuddling against me, Derek sighed. “Okay, you might have a point. So I guess since I turned your life upside down and introduced you to fascinating things like domination and submission, it’s my responsibility to take things to the next level. You’re a gentleman, after all, and wouldn’t want to push me.”

  “Of course.” I had to fight not to laugh. “That would just be terrible of me.”

  Besides, I was quite enjoying knowing Derek was going to say it first. Something about it made me all tingly inside. He loved me.

  That earned me another ridiculously dramatic sigh, but he straightened, looking like he was charging into battle. “There comes a time when two people who have enjoyed sex and dating decide to show their affection in another way.”

  I couldn’t do it. Laughing, I tightened my hold on him and pulled him down into a hug. “You’re insane.”

  He was grinning ear-to-ear when he sat up
. “Come on, I had a whole speech prepared.”

  “I’m not sure I’d have survived you declaring your love as the birds and the bees speech.” There was no way I could’ve done it. “Tell me anyway.”

  I gave his smiling lips a quick peck. “I’m waiting.”

  He snorted. “Not very patiently.”

  Obviously.

  “You’re just dragging it out.” I kissed him again. “Tell me.”

  I could be just as big of a pest as he was.

  Derek leaned in and kissed me tenderly, gradually deepening the kiss until we were both panting and grinding against each other when he finally pulled away. “I love you.”

  He kissed me again, that time keeping it brief and sweet. “You’ve fascinated me from the moment I met you and I could never understand why. You were the one man who always seemed to see the real me, but you never found that insufficient. I’m not sure how things changed, but I will always be grateful that they did. You are loving and sweet and open and just nice in the best possible use of the word.”

  Nice wasn’t usually a word most people wanted to be labeled as when it came to dating, but his expression said how much he appreciated that part of me.

  “I love you, Pest. Over the past few years, you’ve grown into an amazing man. You take care of everyone around you and all I want is to be the one who takes care of you.” I kissed him gently before pulling back. “I don’t know why things changed, but I don’t ever want to go back to being that lost again.”

  Maybe it had been seeing Ethan finally grown and his love for Christopher, but when I saw Derek, he wasn’t a kid who liked trying to shock me. Now he was a man who liked trying to tempt me. He’d opened my eyes to a whole new world and all I wanted was to explore it with him.

  “I love you, Pest.” Holding him to my chest, I ignored the prickling behind my eyes and focused on the funny, intelligent, fascinating man in my arms.

  He sat up just enough to give me a quick peck and curled into me, grinning. “Of course you do. I’m fabulous. It just took you a while to notice.”

  Laughing, I nodded. “You’re right. I’m terribly sorry about the delay in realizing your incredible fabulousness.”

  Derek’s laughter was quieter and had a wicked feel to it that time. “I think I’m going to have to punish you for ignoring me all those years. You were very naughty.”

  Punish?

  I couldn’t decide if that word was intriguing or if it just made me nervous. It felt a bit like I was getting ready to climb on a roller coaster I wasn’t sure I was ready for.

  Fuck it.

  Derek hadn’t led me wrong yet.

  “You’re going to have to. You can’t let me think that’s an acceptable way to behave.” I still couldn’t decide how I felt about what might happen, but the way Derek started squirming against me and the feel of his dick rubbing against mine made it hard to remember why I’d been nervous.

  When he sat up, the love was still shining in his eyes, but there was something heated and wicked that had a shiver going down my spine.

  Okay, maybe nervous wasn’t a bad thing as long as it was with Derek.

  Chapter 19

  Derek

  “Naughty boys have to be taught that they can’t run from what they need.” Resting my hands on his chest, I stroked over his muscles and felt the tension he was trying to hide.

  The idea of being punished probably made him uncomfortable because it was so new, but his erection and the way he watched me couldn’t hide his curiosity. Trailing my fingers around his nipples, I leaned in and kissed his neck right under his ear.

  The quick inhale had my pulse racing and I rocked my hips, running my cock against his. “The only way you’re going to learn is if I punish you.”

  I felt him swallow as his fingers tightened on my thighs. “You want to show me that you’re ready to apologize and please me, don’t you? You want to please your Dom.”

  Something about the way he’d clearly put the first I love you in my court turned out to be a button I hadn’t realized I had.

  A shiver ran through Sean as he nodded and rocked his hips up to rub against me. I nibbled on his ear and let him grind against me. “You like pleasing me, don’t you?”

  We both knew the answer to that, but just saying it out loud seemed to turn him on even more.

  “I…yes…I…” As I pulled back enough to see his face, I watched as he tried to fight to clear his head enough to answer. “I like pleasing you.”

  I pinched his nipples, loving the way his breath caught in his throat. “Sir. ‘I like pleasing you, Sir.’”

  That sent a visceral reaction through him and he had to close his eyes to push back his desire. “Yes, Sir. I like pleasing you, Sir.”

  “Very good.” I swirled my fingers around his nipples. “You learn so fast. The best submissive ever.”

  I leaned in again and kissed up his neck, finally stopping to nibble on his ear. “But it’s not going to get you out of your punishment.”

  His low moan said he was starting to forget why he’d been nervous to begin with. “Now I only have to decide how to punish my naughty sub.”

  Taking his hands, I put them up behind him on the couch and started slowly grinding against him. “I think a spanking is clearly in order.”

  Because even with all the memes and porn clips I’d sent about wanting to bend him over, he’d never said no. I’d just gotten back vague teasing responses.

  Rolling eye emojis did not mean no.

  “Should I bend you over the back of the couch? Or maybe I should stretch you out on my lap.” Both ideas got a physical response as he moaned and writhed against me, but he surprised me.

  Opening his eyes, he forced his body still. “The bed. Tie me to the bed like your fantasy.”

  Shit.

  I was going to come before we’d even gotten to the good part.

  Before I could even explain that I wasn’t sure he had anything safe to tie him to the bed with, he surprised me again. “While you were in the bathroom, Jules went into your room for me and got cuffs out of the box. Evidently, I owe him a new big pack of crayons, but he put cuffs in the bag of leftovers. That’s why I had to carry it.”

  Ahh.

  I knew there’d been something weird about how Sean had insisted he grab the leftovers. I’d just thought they were both nervous over the Jules-being-little thing and were getting their relationship sorted out.

  “Very sneaky, my naughty sub.” And he’d clearly been thinking about something unexpected. “What were you planning on doing with those restraints?”

  When he blushed, I got more intrigued. “Now that’s a very interesting response.”

  He groaned, obviously trying to push away his embarrassment. “I wanted you to top me this weekend, but I liked your idea about being tied to the bed.”

  Every time I thought I couldn’t love him more, he surprised me. “Thank you for trusting me.” Kissing him gently, I tried to pour all my love into the tender press of lips. “I love you. I want you to remember that when I’m spanking you and sinking deep into your tender ass.”

  His cheeks pinked up again, which made me chuckle, but he didn’t pull away. “See, you love driving me nuts.”

  Oh yes, and I had a feeling I was going to spend the rest of my life driving him absolutely insane.

  “Because it’s fun.” I rolled my hips, letting his cock stroke between my legs. “You squirm and blush so prettily and I love watching you realize how much you like something new. I can’t wait to see what you think of your first spanking.”

  That had him wiggling again. His brain and his body seemed to be warring, but I had a feeling his body was going to win this round too. “You’re going to love the way the warmth spreads from your ass through the rest of you and the feeling of letting everything go.”

  Well, I was pretty sure he would.

  I didn’t want to give him too much time to think, so I gave his nipples another pinch just to watch his sexy respo
nse and stood. “I’m going to go find the cuffs while you go get naked. When I get to your room, I expect to see you waiting by the bed. Do you need to use the bathroom before we get started?”

  When he shook his head decisively, I realized he really had been preparing for this. “Very good.”

  As he stood his erection became more apparent, but there was still a hint of uncertainty that would only be calmed by actually seeing how it felt.

  He leaned in close and gave me a quick, sweet kiss before looking toward the kitchen. “They’re in the drawer right by the fridge.”

  Shaking my head, I smiled as I headed into the kitchen. Jules must really like him to have ventured anywhere near my toy chest. He did his best to pretend it wasn’t there and would hardly look at it. Sean really did owe him a box of the biggest crayons for his sacrifice.

  Pulling out my favorite soft cuffs, I grinned. The little drama queen had been paying attention. I’d found these a few months ago and the leather was so soft it felt like they would melt in your hands. I’d been longing for someone to use them with, but until Sean, I’d thought that would be a dream that would have to wait.

  I wanted to give Sean enough time to get naked and hopefully relax, but not enough time to start worrying again, so while I took my time walking back, I didn’t dawdle.

  By the time I got to his bedroom, Sean was standing by the bed erect, but with his eyes closed talking to himself. “Derek loved his spanking and it went just like the site said it would. This is going to be the same. You liked the spanking video, so this won’t be any different.”

  He was so fucking cute.

  Backing up a bit, I made sure to make more noise and cleared my throat. “You’d better be ready.”

  When I walked back into the room he was standing quietly, looking like the perfect sub. But he’d figure out soon I didn’t need perfect. I needed him.

  Walking over to my sexy man, I let my gaze rake down his body as I trailed one finger from his chest to his groin. I teased around the base of his cock, but I didn’t let my finger actually caress his dick because I wanted to keep the suspense building. “Very nice.”

  So fucking sexy I couldn’t breathe would have been a better description, but that wasn’t especially Dommy, so I kept that to myself.