All My Love, Detrick

by Kagan, Roberta

  After Detrick spoke with Jacob and felt secure to go forward with the plan, he must seek Konrad out immediately. The entire operation rested on Detrick’s ability to find employment.

  Chapter 85

  Detrick felt his stomach twist as he waited in the lobby of the Nazi headquarters. He’d given an aide his name and told him that he would like to see Konrad.

  “And may I tell him what this is about?”

  “Yes, of course. Just tell him his old friend Detrick Haswell is here to see him.”

  “Very well, please take a seat.”

  Konrad walked into the room and raised his hand. “Heil Hitler”.

  “Heil Hitler.” Detrick answered.

  “Detrick! Good to see you! It’s been forever since we’ve spent time together. How have you been?”

  “Good, Konrad. You’re looking well.”

  “And so I should be. I’ve just been promoted! Got a new position, managing the punch cards for the new computer machine. Helps us keep track of the Jews and all of that. And you, what are you up to these days?”

  “Well, that’s what brings me here. I don’t actually know how to put this.”

  “Let me help you….you are in need of work?”

  “Yes.” Detrick looked away.

  A smile tickled Konrad’s lips. “Well, you realize, of course, that to work here at Headquarters you would be required to join the party.”

  “Yes, and I am ready to do so.”

  A laugh of joy and triumph escaped from Konrad’s throat. “I’ve been waiting and hoping you would come. After all, it is your true place as an Aryan to stand among us. We, you and I, are members of the most powerful race on this earth.”

  He stood up and walked over to pat Detrick’s shoulder. “I’ll find you something. I’ll recommend you to my superiors. You will work under me.”

  “I appreciate everything, Konrad. I’ll wait to hear from you.”

  After Detrick left, Konard lit a cigarette. From the top of his head to the tips of each appendage he tingled with anticipation. Things between Detrick and himself would return to the way they used to be. He would be reunited with his best friend, sharing good times. Only now, instead of Detrick being the top man, the most popular, the most desirable, Konrad would be king of the hill.

  He licked his lips, tasting the very idea. Then took a deep puff of his cigarette and went to speak to his superior officer.

  Chapter 86

  Before he brought Leah to the Mueller’s attic, Detrick spent a day clearing spider webs and cleaning dust from the area. No one had opened the door to the musty rooms for years, and he lit a candle to clear the smell. It broke his heart to know that Jacob and Leah would be living under such conditions, but he also considered the alternative. The arrests increased daily, and the sooner he secured them in this hiding place, the better he would feel.

  Detrick’s first day working at the Nazi headquarters had stretched his nerves thin. Konrad had proudly handed him his new uniform.

  “Go to the men’s room and put it on, Detrick.”

  He’d obeyed without question. When he returned, Konrad sat at his desk waiting. “You look wonderful. It suits you.”

  Detrick smiled trying to conceal his distaste.

  While walking home, Detrick had caught a glimpse of his reflection in a window pane and developed a nauseous headache, with flashes of light behind his eyes. It had taken several hours in a darkened room for the pain to subside.

  It shattered his nerves when Konrad introduced Detrick to his superiors. Always afraid they might detect his true intentions, Detrick would look down or away. The constant greeting of his fellow workers with "Heil Hitler" caused his hands to tremble, and he found himself developing headaches more and more often.

  When Konrad received his own automobile from the party, he’d decided Detrick should be his driver. Detrick happily agreed, to be out and away from the offices as much as possible.

  Chapter 87

  Once Detrick had joined the party, as Konrad had promised, a rush of gifts arrived at the Haswell home. For the first time since Detrick’s birth, his father took pride in his son. Boxes of fruit and chocolate, silk stockings and fabric for Inga, as well as an offer of employment for Hans; all came as offerings of friendship from the party.

  Alone in his room Detrick, assessed his situation. He combed his hair back, and it fell forward into a natural side part as he stood in front of the mirror. Self-loathing came over him as he considered the weakness he had begun to feel within himself. As much as he loved Leah, and God knows he did love her, he sometimes wished he had fallen in love with a Gentile. It would have been so much easier. And Jacob - the guilt and worry he carried over Jacob sometimes seemed as if it had taken over everything else in his life. He loved the man like a father, but he wondered why he had been chosen for this very difficult purpose. Then he thought of Konrad, his oldest friend. Konrad’s smug self-assurance had begun to grate on his nerves. How he could be thoroughly convinced that his actions and behaviors were perfectly acceptable? In Konrad’s mind, his sadistic nature toward the enemies of the Reich only proved his superiority.

  Detrick did not feel fortunate. In fact, he felt ashamed, ashamed of his people and the blood that ran in his veins. He should have been born a Jew, he thought, as he straightened the collar of his Nazi uniform. Another day he must carefully cover his true feelings. Another day he must live a lie.

  Chapter 88

  Even though Jacob and Leah were still distraught over their loss, they moved into the Mueller’s attic at midnight. It was not until the following evening when Detrick arrived that the entire Mueller family came upstairs to meet their house guests.

  “We want to welcome you. We realize how hard this must be - to leave your home and be displaced in such a place as this. As you can see, we don’t have so much, but we will do what we can to make you comfortable,” Mr. Mueller said, speaking for the family.

  “My daughter Leah and I thank you for taking us into your home, and we too realize that you are taking a great risk. I don’t know how we can ever thank you, but we are grateful from the bottom of our hearts.”

  Adelheid glanced sideways at Detrick. She found him handsome, just the right age, and a truly desirable man. In his pressed black Nazi uniform with his blond hair wet down and combed away from his face, he brought out feelings within Adelheid that she’d never experienced before. But the uniform had more important benefits. Wearing it, Detrick found he could walk through the streets easily, regardless of the hour. So he’d decided to wear it whenever he went to the Mueller’s home. Adelheid watched him as he stood beside Leah and wondered how it would feel to have him stand beside her. She’d never had a boyfriend, although she’d begun to think a great deal about the subject.

  Leah smiled at Adelheid and Rebekka; she hoped to befriend the girls. Even though they were younger, it would be nice to have them to talk to during the long, lonely days while she awaited Detrick’s arrival.

  Finally the Muellers left to return to their own living quarters. Once they had gone, Detrick took tins of food out of his pockets and handed them to Jacob.

  “I don’t know how much the Muellers will be able to give you, so here is some extra food. I will bring what I can without creating suspicion.”

  Jacob nodded. Then putting the food down, he turned and hugged Detrick. A tear rolled down Jacob’s face.

  “Darling, I will be back again tomorrow night.” He touched Leah’s face. Jacob turned away and began removing the extra layers of clothing he wore. They’d not been able to carry suitcases for fear of attracting attention, so Jacob and Leah had worn several layers of clothing. What they had on their bodies must suffice until Detrick could bring more, or the end of the war came. Under their clothes they carried personal items, their combs and toothbrushes. Jacob brought Miriam’s wedding band and a picture of the family all together before Karl had gone, and when Miriam and Michael were still alive. Leah had wrapped her gold star of David and
the few other pieces of valuable jewelry they owned, and sewn them into the lining of her coat. Other than these few small items, they’d left everything behind.

  Chapter 89

  Warsaw

  The Warsaw Ghetto brimmed with dirt and disease. Overpopulated already, the small area grew as the Nazis brought more arrested Jews in daily. Four-story stone buildings stood on either side of the streets, each apartment housing more people than would be considered comfortable.

  A group of Nazi guards stood at the train station making offers of bread and jam to anyone wishing to leave the Ghetto to go to a work camp called Treblinka. Due to the lack of food and the madness of near starvation, some people agreed to the relocation.

  The Nazis had a quota of Jews to be delivered to the camp each day. A group of Jews were put in charge of this operation by the Nazi guards. It was their responsibility to deliver a certain number of their own people to the waiting trains each day. Officially named the Warsaw Ghetto Jewish Council, this group of Nazi collaborators was known by the other Jews as the Judenrats.

  Anyone passing the train station could see the overcrowded cattle cars filled with people, all standing up, pressed together, keeping each other from dropping with heat and exhaustion. They would remain standing through the entire train ride.

  After his arrest, Karl was sent to the Warsaw Ghetto, where he occupied a two-room apartment with four other men of varying ages. Hunger motivated Karl to learn how to climb the roof tops and leave the Ghetto during the night. On the outside he found the black market where, for the right price, he bought food and supplies. Then, taking them back into the Ghetto, he kept what he needed and sold the rest, enabling him to survive more comfortably than most.

  News spread through the Ghetto that a secret meeting was to be held. It concerned the trains, the food, the Nazis, and Palestine. When one of his black market customers mentioned the meeting, Karl decided he would attend. Everyone stressed the importance of secrecy, and insisted that the Judenrats be kept ignorant of the plan, lest they deliver their fellow Jews to the Nazis, once again, in an effort to save themselves.

  Chapter 90

  The meeting was held in a small apartment on the third floor of a four-story building - it was standing room only. With the scarcity of soap, the air reeked putrid with the smell of unwashed bodies. A few of the attendees had purchased cigarettes on the black market, and the thick smoke made breathing difficult. Karl fought the urge to gag as he entered. A tall, bearded, large-boned man stood upon a chair at the front of the room, which enabled even those standing at the back to see him. He stood so tall that paint crumbled off the ceiling, splattering his curly black hair with white specks.

  “Quiet…everyone… Quiet please!”

  It took a few moments but the room grew silent.

  “My name is Yankle Finkelstein. Before I was caught, arrested and brought here to the Ghetto, I hid out in the forests. There I saw many terrible things. Now, because you are in this secluded place, you might not realize what’s going on, what these Nazis are doing to our people in the outside world. It is imperative that you know and accept the truth. This may come as a terrible shock to you, but those trains going to the work camps…they are not taking people to work camps at all. They are taking them to death camps. Jews are being systematically murdered.”

  Another man called out, “Before I was arrested, I escaped from a horror that happened at a place outside of Kiev called Babi Yar. When the Germans were busy lining our people up, I turned and ran. I don’t know how they didn’t see me. I don’t know how I got away, but I did. Then I watched from behind a thick brush, and I saw German soldiers forcing Jews to dig a deep pit. Then they were forced to strip off all of their clothes. I will never forget this if I live for a thousand years. Young men, old men, and women - children too. The Nazi guards lined them up in front of the hole they dug, then shot them. Then they fell into the mass grave. One group after another…they lined them up and shot them dead. The mothers held their children tight to their naked breasts. Babies cried. I saw a child whose mother had shielded it from death with her own body. One of the guards saw it too - a little girl still alive. He walked over to the side of the pit and shot three bullets into the terrified child. Horrible I tell you…horrible.”

  “I don’t believe it.” A heavyset woman crossed her arms in front of her chest.

  “Me either.” A man in the front row shook his head.

  “How can anyone believe that the Nazis would try to murder an entire race of people? That makes no sense. Wouldn’t they profit more by using us to work for their effort?”

  “Perhaps,” Finkelstein said, “But they are choosing to eradicate us.”

  “This is not true. He is a rabble rouser just trying to make trouble. The Nazis need us. Hitler has waged war on the entire world. Who will make their ammunition? Who will they use to make their uniforms, if not us?” A male voice shot out from the side of the room.

  “It is true what Finklestein is telling you. I believe him.” The woman’s soft voice carried an air of authority.

  Karl turned to see who spoke. A tall slender girl with hair the color of new cherries returned his stare. He watched her as she took charge of the crowd.

  “I understand how you feel. I, too, would like to believe that the Nazis could not be so cruel. However, I am afraid that the truth is, they are. Perhaps it is time we considered organizing…fighting back. I believe that is why we are here tonight?” When she finished the redheaded woman looked at Yankel who smiled at her.

  “Thank you, Ada, yes. That is the reason for this meeting here tonight. We must consider building our own army. We must fight our way out of here, and then make our way to Palestine. Our only salvation is Palestine. I may die trying, but I would rather die fighting than surrender like a lamb.”

  Finkelstein continued to speak, and although Karl agreed whole heartedly with his words, he had stopped listening. Instead he watched, mesmerized, as the girl they’d called Ada gazed at Yankel her eyes glazed over with admiration.

  Chapter 91

  Ada had impressed Karl the moment he’d seen her and heard her speak. Her presence had drawn a small pencil mark upon his mind that grew into an entire book of drawings as the week progressed. He gave a great deal of thought to what her life might entail. Could she be Finkelstein’s wife or girlfriend? Karl thought he'd had contact with all of the inhabitants of the Ghetto at one time or another when he’d sold his black market goods, but he’d never seen Ada before; if he had, he would certainly have remembered. Everywhere he went he kept watch for the lovely girl with the unusual-colored hair. But he never saw her, and could not even speculate on who to ask concerning her whereabouts. So Karl continued to wonder.

  One afternoon Karl stood in the alleyway of his apartment building. In front of him he’d put up a makeshift stand covered with the goods he had acquired on the black market the previous night that he planned to sell. A man with a familiar face approached him. Karl immediately recognized Yankle Finkelstein.

  “I saw you at the meeting. I heard you speak.” Karl whispered, so as not to arouse any attention.

  “Yes, it was me.”

  “You spoke the truth. I think I always knew the truth about what was taking place, but I didn’t want to believe.”

  “Yes, it is all true. And I think all of us Jews feel the same way. After all, who wants to believe that our race is being systematically murdered? It’s too terrible to comprehend.” Finkelstein picked up two apples, “How much?”

  “For you and your wife, a gift from me,” Karl waited hoping to hear news of Ada.

  “Wife? I have no wife. But I do graciously accept your gift.” Finkelstein smiled, tossing an apple in the air and catching it, then adding in a whisper, “I hope you will join us as we build a resistance army. You are young and strong. We need men like you.”

  “Will there be another meeting?”

  “Yes. This one will be private. I will give you directions.”

>   Chapter 92

  On the following Thursday after the sun had set, Karl made his way through the narrow streets and up four flights of stairs, where he entered a room filled with friendly conversation. As he looked around, he spotted Finkelstein talking to a group. Then he recognized the other man who had spoken the previous night, engaged in a heated conversation with a short young woman wearing a beret. He scanned the room but he did not see Ada. Disappointed, Karl considered leaving. He was in no mood to listen to discussions; he was far too tired. In just a few hours, it would be necessary for him to climb the wall and bring back what supplies he could get his hands on. He longed to steal a few hours’ sleep while the sun still shone, as tonight would surely be another exhausting ordeal. But before he had the chance to slip quietly out the door, Yankle Finkelstein walked over to him.

  “Hello, my friend, and welcome. You know I never caught your name.”

  “Karl Abdenstern.”

  “Come on over here. I want you to meet someone very special.” Yankle put his arm around Karl’s shoulder and led him over to the other side of the room where a young, attractive man stood drinking a glass of water. “Mordechai, this is Karl.” Then Yankle turned to Karl explaining, “Mordechai is our leader.”

  Mordechai reached out to shake Karl’s hand.

  “Welcome, I’m glad you came.”

  The door opened, and Karl felt his heart race as his eye caught a glimpse of the fiery hair. Ada had walked in.

  “Ada, I have someone I would like for you to meet… This is Karl Abdenstern.”